ADHD Mums

76. Always Leaving First — The Social Cost for ADHD Mums


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You can feel it tipping before anyone else does.

Everyone’s still chatting, still comfortable, and your body’s already tightening.

You know if you stay, you’ll be the one dealing with what comes next.

It’s that familiar moment where nothing’s happened yet, but you’re already bracing for the clean-up.

In This Episode, We Cover
  1. What it’s like to step in early when you’re the one who ends up carrying the fallout
  2. How being told to ‘relax’ or ‘let it play out’ misses where the cost actually lands
  3. Why stepping in early often gets read as control from the outside
  4. The difference between reacting to what’s happening and knowing what usually comes next
  5. How early exits, early no’s, and early decisions reduce the total load

This Episode Is For You If
  1. You’re usually the one calling it before things tip
  2. You leave events early and feel judged for it
  3. You’re told nothing has happened yet, but you know what comes after
  4. You’re the one left carrying the aftermath
  5. You’re tired of second-guessing what you know because you’ve lived it

Related Episodes

Why Am I Bracing for Impact When Nothing Is Wrong? (Quick Reset)

https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-10-quick-reset-why-am-i-bracing-for-impact-when-nothing-is-wrong/

Surviving the Mental Load of the School Year

https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-63-surviving-the-mental-load-of-the-school-year/

When You Can’t Relax Even When It’s Quiet

https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/why-adhd-mums-cant-relax/

You Were the Good Girl. That’s Why You’re Falling Apart Now.

https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-35-you-were-the-good-girl-thats-why-youre-falling-apart-now/

The ADHD Myth of ‘Just Try Harder’ (Quick Reset)

https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-24-quick-reset-the-adhd-myth-of-just-try-harder/

This isn’t about being better at sitting with uncertainty.

It’s about exposure.

Some people only experience the moment.

Others are the ones who absorb what comes after.

Leaving early doesn’t look necessary when you’re not the one managing the fallout. What looks like overreaction from one place is actually load reduction from another.

You’re not creating problems too soon.

You’re carrying the cost so it doesn’t land later.

📬 Listener Questions & Community

Submit a Listener Question (anonymous option)

If there’s something you want answered on the podcast, you can submit a question here — anonymously if you prefer.

https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864

Share Feedback or Topic Requests

Have a topic you’d like covered, or feedback you want to pass on? You can send it through here.

https://form.jotform.com/243189306607864

Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group

For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmums

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ADHD MumsBy Jane McFadden

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