The Daily Ascent

79. How to Find Your Balance by Embracing Your Recovery Mind


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When it comes to breaking up with sugar (or any addiction), the answer for most people is not to become overly strict and unforgiving with yourself.

According to Molly, "The answer is never the opposite. The answer is balance."

To illustrate this, Molly breaks down the three states of mind as defined by the practice of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and how this concept can shed some light on diet culture and binge eating.

These three states are addict mind, clean mind, and—combining the first two—clear mind (which Molly prefers to call recovery mind).

Listen in as she explains why adopting this middle-ground mindset is so much more powerful and sustainable than attempting to do a complete 180 on a life consumed by addiction or binge eating.

Episode Quotes

  • "What diet culture has made us buy into, is that clean mind is the ideal. The problem is, what we think our ideal is, for our long-term relationship with food, is so far from the ballpark where we want to be living in." – Molly Carmel
  • "The answer is never the opposite. The answer is balance." – Molly Carmel

Key Highlights

  • Your addict mind takes over when your urges control your thoughts, emotions, and actions. It's a mindset of urgency;
  • The idea of the clean mind, on the other hand, is almost no better than the addict mind, because it sums up the biggest problem of diet culture: being too hard and unforgiving with yourself while going through your journey. It's unsustainable and unrealistic. It's a mindset of cockiness;
  • The center of the venn diagram, the clear mind (which Molly prefers to call the "recovery" mind) is a much healthier mindset to adapt. It's a mindset of brutal honesty, integrity!

Episode resources

As promised, here's a link to DBT States of Mind (scroll down to see diagram): https://www.pbshealthcare.com/dbt-overview

Book: Hooked: Food, Free Will, and How the Food Giants Exploit Our Addictions by Michael Moss

Book: Metabolical: The Lure and the Lies of Processed Food, Nutrition, and Modern Medicine by Robert H. Lustig

About Molly Carmel

Molly is a leading addiction and eating disorder therapist and the founder of the Beacon Program, which offers individual and group solutions to help people break free from their destructive relationships with food and dieting. She is also the author of 'Breaking up with Sugar' and the host of 'What You're Craving' Podcast.

Want to spend MORE time together? Me too! Here are all the ways:

Our DAY LONG VIRTUAL RETREAT is coming up on October 9 (with a follow-up coaching session on October 11) - DETAILS TO COME!

Want to spend MORE time together? Me too! Here are all the ways: Purchase the Breaking Up with Sugar course here: https://molly-carmel.mykajabi.com/buws-course Join my mailing list for a free mini masterclass: https://mollycarmel.com/signup/ Become a part of the Breaking Up with Sugar FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/buwsbook Molly's IG (I love a DM!): https://www.instagram.com/mollycarmel/ Molly's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCG1GiXHci_XlL4xMXL6-Ajg?view_as=subscriber Molly's Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realmollycarmel?_t=8V6nKJXCfJT&_r=1 Molly's Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mollycarmel.buws

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