In this episode of The Wrong Ones, we talk about the kind of connection that doesn’t require translation—the one where you don’t have to overexplain, overperform, or shrink your story to be understood. We explore why shared experience can deepen emotional intimacy, how empathy rooted in lived experience feels grounding rather than performative, and what it means to feel seen without needing to be decoded.

Through personal storytelling and psychology, we unpack the neuroscience of recognition, the attachment dynamics of safety, and the subtle difference between trauma compatibility and emotional fluency. Because the most healing relationships aren’t built on identical wounds—they’re built on compatible awareness.

In this episode, we cover:

• Mirror neuron systems and why recognition feels like relief

• Affective attunement and the biology of being “gotten”

• Attachment theory and internal working models in dating

• Predictive coding and how familiarity builds safety

• Co-regulation and why empathy is nervous system fluency

• Cultural context and emotional rhythm in immigrant families

• The difference between trauma alignment and integrated healing

• How shared experience becomes validation—not repetition

• Why emotional fluency is the new compatibility test

Reflection Question of the Week:

Who in your life makes you feel understood without having to perform clarity—and when was the last time you offered that same understanding to someone else?

Resources Mentioned:

• Mirror Neuron Research (Gallese & Rizzolatti; empathy and recognition)

• Affective Attunement (Daniel Stern; early relational development)

• Attachment Theory (Bowlby, Ainsworth; internal working models)

• Predictive Coding and the Brain (Friston, 2010; neural anticipation)

• Interpersonal Neurobiology (Siegel; co-regulation and safety)

• Cultural Schema Theory (Markus & Kitayama; collective identity)

• Earned Security (Mary Main; attachment transformation)

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As always: if you’re enjoying the show, please take a moment to follow, rate, and subscribe — it truly helps us grow and reach more listeners.

Come say hi on Instagram @thewrongonespodcast   An Operation Podcast production

In this episode of The Wrong Ones, we talk about what happens when life presses on every old bruise you thought had healed—all while you’re supposed to be on vacation. We explore what it feels like to be the only single person in a group of couples, how invisibility shows up in adulthood, and why sometimes healing feels less like progress and more like observation.

Through stories from a trip to Mexico City, we unpack the psychology of belonging, the neuroscience of self-worth, and the subtle art of staying visible in your own life. Because sometimes growth isn’t loud or glamorous—it’s catching yourself mid-spiral and choosing to stay.

In this episode, we cover:

• Dyadic power theory and why couples hold more social weight in groups

• The difference between exclusion and perceived exclusion (and how both hurt the same)

• The neuroscience of invisibility and social pain (anterior cingulate cortex activation)

• Self-silencing: how being “easygoing” can quietly erase you

• Contingent self-esteem and the loop between validation and worth

• Attachment systems and intermittent reinforcement: why being “chosen” feels like survival

• Depersonalization and disembodiment: the psychology of feeling outside your body

• Emotional self-efficacy and learning to regulate your own nervous system

• The loss of play in adulthood and how joy rewires emotional regulation

• How to stop confusing self-analysis with self-acceptance

• Becoming your own plus-one

Reflection Question of the Week:

When was the last time you felt outside of yourself — and what would it take to come home again?

Resources Mentioned:

• Dyadic Power Theory (social psychology of relational dominance)

• Contingent Self-Esteem (Deci & Ryan; self-determination theory)

• Self-Silencing Scale (Dana Jack; gender & relational schemas)

• Mirror Neuron System and co-regulation (interpersonal neurobiology)

• Depersonalization research (dissociation and self-observation)

• Stuart Brown, Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul

• Emotional Self-Efficacy (Bandura, 1997)

----- As always: if you’re enjoying the show, please take a moment to follow, rate, and subscribe — it truly helps us grow and reach more listeners.   Come say hi on Instagram @thewrongonespodcast   An Operation Podcast production

In this episode of The Wrong Ones, we dig into the messy gap between theory and practice. Why you can ace attachment charts in solitude but fall apart the second someone doesn’t text back. Why embarrassment isn’t failure but data. Why relationships act as mirrors that magnify both your shadow and your light. And why courage isn’t magic—it’s logistics. Through stories, psychology, and neuroscience, we unpack how to practice becoming in real time.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why theory feels safe but collapses in practice (prediction error & the nervous system)

• The ghosting spiral: why rejection feels like physical pain in the body

• Embarrassment as data (Pratfall Effect and social learning)

• How attachment styles show up clumsy in real life

• Relationships as mirrors: projection, transference, and magnification of shadow/light

• Corrective emotional experiences: tiny rewiring moments that stick

• Micro-bravery and scaffolding: what courage actually looks like

• The neuroscience of courage: amygdala vs. prefrontal cortex, dopamine, polyvagal grounding

• Why courage is built in reps, not in grand gestures

• Personal stories of shaky hands, awkward texts, and becoming real in connection

Reflection Question of the Week: What’s one piece of theory you’ve mastered in solitude — and what’s one small, imperfect way you could practice it in real time this week?

Resources Mentioned:

• Prediction error (cognitive neuroscience of expectation)

• The Pratfall Effect (social psychology of likability)

• Polyvagal Theory (Stephen Porges; vagus nerve & social engagement)

• Interpersonal neurobiology (mirror neurons & co-regulation)

• Corrective emotional experiences (psychodynamic theory)

• Exposure therapy principles (small, repeated acts build tolerance)

----- As always: if you’re enjoying the show, please take a moment to follow, rate, and subscribe — it truly helps us grow and reach more listeners.   Come say hi on Instagram @thewrongonespodcast   An Operation Podcast production

In this episode of The Wrong Ones, I pressed pause on the plan and gave myself space to vent about the absurdity of modern dating. After two back-to-back ghostings in the same week—one from an East Coast visitor who likely mass-texted the entire Bay Area, and another from a “let’s grab dinner” guy who never followed through—I realized how these little moments can still sting even when you think you’re “healed.” We unpack why ghosting hurts so much, the old patterns it triggers, and how to reframe rejection without spiraling, all while laughing at the comedy of it.

In this episode, we cover:

• Two ghosting stories that prove dating is both comedy and tragedy

• Predictive coding: why our brains “expect” rejection once we’ve felt it

• Intermittent reinforcement: the slot-machine psychology behind mixed signals

• Why ghosting feels like physical pain in the body

• Venting about dating as an Olympic sport (gold medal in not double-texting)

• The pause vs. the spiral: choosing new patterns in real time

• My new plan to treat dating like a part-time job (weekly “shifts” in San Francisco)

• The city’s resurgence and what it feels like to finally notice attraction again

• Reframing ghosting as a reflection of them, not me

• The bigger truth: healing doesn’t erase triggers, it teaches us to respond differently

Reflection Question of the Week:

When life pressed on an old bruise and reminded you you’re still human, did you spiral into old patterns—or pause and choose something new?

Resources Mentioned:

• Predictive coding (cognitive neuroscience of expectation)

• Intermittent reinforcement (behavioral psychology; why inconsistency hooks us)

• The neuroscience of rejection (emotional pain and physical pain overlap)

• Exposure therapy principles (repeated safe exposure builds capacity)

----- As always: if you’re enjoying the show, please take a moment to follow, rate, and subscribe — it truly helps us grow and reach more listeners.   Come say hi on Instagram @thewrongonespodcast   An Operation Podcast production

In this episode of The Wrong Ones, we name and honor the “safe house” of solitude—why it feels protective after heartbreak and why it can quietly become a ceiling. Sparked by an Instagram quote from Afsa Rosette about theory vs. practice, we unpack the psychology behind avoidance, shame, and nervous-system safety, and we begin moving from thinking about connection to practicing it—one inch at a time.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why solitude feels like medicine (and when it turns into a cage)

• The Instagram quote that inspired this series: theory vs. practice in love

• Avoidance learning: how “canceling” teaches the brain to avoid again

• Prediction error & the brain’s craving for certainty (why dating feels costly)

• Shame sensitivity: how isolation shields us from feedback—but blocks intimacy

• Social baseline theory: why life feels lighter with safe others

• Window of tolerance: stretching without overwhelming your system

• Negativity bias & rewriting the story your brain keeps replaying

• Approach–avoidance conflict: wanting love and fearing it at the same time

• Practical “open the door one inch” ideas: tiny exposures that build capacity

• Guided visualization + journaling moments sprinkled throughout

Reflection Question of the Week:

What has your safe house given you, what has it cost you, and what would opening the door one inch look like this week?

Resources Mentioned:

• Afsa Rosette’s quote on theory vs. practice (Instagram)

• Avoidance learning & exposure principles (behavioral psychology)

• Social baseline theory (co-regulation and reduced perceived effort)

• Window of tolerance (Siegel; arousal & capacity)

• Negativity bias (evolutionary psychology; why pain sticks)

• Approach–avoidance conflict (motivational psychology)

----- As always: if you’re enjoying the show, please take a moment to follow, rate, and subscribe — it truly helps us grow and reach more listeners.   Come say hi on Instagram @thewrongonespodcast   An Operation Podcast production

 

In this episode of The Wrong Ones, we’re tackling the conversation couples fear more than sex: money. Because money isn’t just math—it’s meaning. It’s values, identity, childhood scripts, and sometimes the reason you’re arguing over oat milk instead of 401(k)s. From the “bakery vs. empire” mismatch to financial infidelity, we explore why money is intimacy at the highest level—and how aligning on it can make or break your future together.

We blend psychology, humor, and real-life stories to unpack why the way you spend, save, and dream says more about you than your words ever could.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why couples fear money talks more than sex talks—and what that reveals

• Symbolic self-completion theory: why spending is never just spending

• The “bakery vs. empire” dilemma and mismatched financial visions

• Petty money fights (candles, oat milk, Netflix) and the deeper values underneath

• Childhood money scripts and how they silently shape adult relationships

• The intimacy of financial transparency: from spending audits to monthly “money dates”

• Financial infidelity—what it looks like, why it hurts, and how to rebuild trust

• Wealth, gender, and shame: why women still shrink financially to feel loved

• Different money mindsets (scarcity, abundance, status, security, freedom) and how families shape them

• Practical strategies for building a shared financial culture and vision

Reflection Question of the Week: What money story did you inherit from your family—scarcity, abundance, status, security, or freedom—and how is it helping or hurting the life you’re trying to build now? What new story could you and your partner write together?

Resources Mentioned:

• Symbolic self-completion theory (consumer psychology)

• Money scripts research (Klontz et al.)

• Attachment theory and financial behavior (Bowlby; Hazan & Shaver)

• Cognitive biases: sunk cost fallacy, premature commitment bias

• Financial infidelity studies (relationship trust & betrayal)

• Gender and wealth psychology (identity threat & provision roles)

• Family-of-origin money patterns and intergenerational psychology

----- As always: if you’re enjoying the show, please take a moment to follow, rate, and subscribe — it truly helps us grow and reach more listeners.

Come say hi on Instagram @thewrongonespodcast

An Operation Podcast production

In this episode of The Wrong Ones, we’re putting the therapy couch in the middle of Wall Street. If you’ve ever felt like you were writing blank emotional checks, subsidizing someone else’s healing, or mistaking adrenaline for chemistry, this one’s for you. We blend medicine, psychology, and a little market humor to help you evaluate partners the way a CFO evaluates investments—by looking at fundamentals, risk, and real return on your most limited currencies: time, energy, and emotional labor.

In this episode, we cover:

• The “startup costs” of dating after heartbreak and why your nervous system feels overdrawn

• The IPO Illusion: novelty bias, intermittent reinforcement, and why apps feel addictive

• Due diligence for modern dating: words (press releases) vs. behavior (audited financials)

• Attachment styles as credit ratings (secure = AAA; avoidant = junk bonds)

• How to spot and track emotional burn rate—early

• Portfolio diversification: resisting premature commitment bias and stabilizing your life portfolio

• The exit strategy: cutting sunk costs without guilt and why relief is real data

• Long-term value investing: choosing consistency, reciprocity, and co-regulation that compound

Reflection Question of the Week:

Where in your life are you over-investing your time and energy with little return—and how can you start reallocating your capital toward relationships that actually compound in value?

Resources Mentioned:

• Novelty bias & intermittent reinforcement research (behavioral psychology)

• Decision fatigue and glucose depletion in the prefrontal cortex (self-regulation studies)

• Attachment theory (Bowlby; Hazan & Shaver) and adult attachment outcomes

• Allostatic load & chronic stress physiology; HRV and cortisol basics

• Secure attachment as a health protective factor (relationship longevity & wellbeing)

• Cognitive biases: sunk cost fallacy; premature commitment bias

----- As always: if you’re enjoying the show, please take a moment to follow, rate, and subscribe — it truly helps us grow and reach more listeners.

Come say hi on Instagram @thewrongonespodcast

An Operation Podcast production

In this episode of The Wrong Ones, we’re talking about why single friends matter when you’re single—especially in your 30s. Because let’s be honest: sometimes it feels like everyone else is married, pregnant, or building Montessori Pinterest boards, while you’re the only “party of one” at the table. But being single doesn’t have to mean being lonely. With the right mirrors—friends in your same season of life—it can feel like freedom, belonging, and even joy.

Blending psychology, humor, and real-life stories, this conversation explores the importance of resonance, the health impact of loneliness, and the radical act of building community that reflects your current season back to you.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why your “mistakes” in love are actually classrooms, not failures

• How shifting from dating to marry → dating to learn transforms energy and expectations

• The psychology of seasons of life (Erikson, belonging, and social resonance)

• Why being the only single friend can amplify loneliness and comparison burnout

• How attachment theory and co-regulation apply to friendships, not just dating

• The cultural pressure of weddings, baby showers, and social timelines

• Practical ways to find and nurture single friends in your 30s

• Why laughter, rituals, and resonance are medicine for this season

Reflection Question of the Week:

What season of life are you in right now, and how can you find or build community that reflects it back to you?

Resources Mentioned:

• Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development (intimacy vs. isolation)

• U.S. Surgeon General’s report on loneliness as a public health crisis

• Attachment theory research (Bowlby, Hazan & Shaver) and co-regulation studies

• Social comparison theory & relative deprivation theory

• Research on collective effervescence (Durkheim)

• Studies on laughter, endorphins, and emotional regulation in friendships

----- As always: if you’re enjoying the show, please take a moment to follow, rate, and subscribe — it truly helps us grow and reach more listeners.

Come say hi on Instagram @thewrongonespodcast

An Operation Podcast production.

In this episode of The Wrong Ones, we’re unpacking the messy, funny, painful, and oh-so-human mistakes we make in love—and why most of them aren’t accidents at all, but patterns rooted in psychology, attachment, and our own unmet needs. From confusing chemistry with compatibility to breaking our own non-negotiables, I share the lessons I learned the hard way—and the science behind why we keep repeating them.

Blending humor, research, and personal stories, this conversation is equal parts therapy session, neuroscience breakdown, and a reminder that every “wrong one” shapes the way we eventually show up for the right love.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why chemistry feels intoxicating but often disguises incompatibility

• The trap of trying to change someone who didn’t ask to be changed

• The difference between attention and affection—and why it matters

• How boundaries actually protect love instead of pushing people away

• The psychology of attachment, dopamine, and why your nervous system confuses chaos for passion

• Subtle relationship habits that sabotage intimacy without us realizing it

• The biggest lessons I wish I could tell my younger self about love, standards, and self-trust

• How to move forward without bitterness and keep your heart open

Reflection Question of the Week:

What’s one relationship mistake you’ve made that you can now thank yourself for — because of what it taught you?

Resources Mentioned:

• Attachment theory research (Ainsworth, Bowlby, Hazan & Shaver)

• Fisher et al. (2010) on dopamine and early-stage romance

• Doidge (2007) on neuroplasticity and rewiring patterns

• Intermittent reinforcement studies on addiction and relationships

• Research on the Reticular Activating System (RAS) and selective attention

• Studies on boundaries, people-pleasing, and relationship satisfaction

----- As always: if you’re enjoying the show, please take a moment to follow, rate, and subscribe — it truly helps us grow and reach more listeners.

Come say hi on Instagram @thewrongonespodcast

An Operation Podcast production.

In this episode of The Wrong Ones, we’re breaking up with one of the most romanticized — and misleading — ideas in modern dating: the soulmate myth. From the “readiness” lie to the science behind why heartbreak feels like a broken bone, we unpack why believing in the one can actually hold you back from finding love that’s real, healthy, and sustainable.

In this episode, we cover:

• How to tell if you’re genuinely ready to start dating again (and why “ready” isn’t a magical morning announcement from the universe).

• The neuroscience of heartbreak, emotional regulation, and why your nervous system knows before your mind does.

• The cultural origins of the soulmate myth and the psychological traps it creates.

• Why letting go of “the one” opens the door to better, freer, and more abundant love.

• Personal stories of past relationships that felt like fate — and what they really taught about love, growth, and self-worth.

Blending humor, storytelling, and research from psychology, neuroscience, and relationship science, this episode is both a reality check and a permission slip: you don’t only get one great love story. You get many—and the next beautiful connection might arrive out of nowhere, long after you thought the best was behind you.

Reflection Question of the Week:

Think about one of the most beautiful connections you’ve ever had. How would it feel to trust that your next beautiful connection will arrive just as unexpectedly?

Resources Mentioned:

• Clinical Psychology Review (2021) study on emotional regulation and relationship readiness

• Fisher et al. (2010) research on heartbreak and the brain’s reward system

• Knee et al. (2003) on destiny belief and relationship disengagement

• Boss (1999) on ambiguous loss

• Aron et al. (1997) on creating closeness with strangers

• Neuroplasticity research from Doidge (2007)

• Oxytocin and cortisol research (Ditzen et al., 2007)

• Companionate love study in Social Psychological and Personality Science (2012)

----- As always: if you’re enjoying the show, please take a moment to follow, rate, and subscribe — it truly helps us grow and reach more listeners.

Come say hi on Instagram @thewrongonespodcast

An Operation Podcast production.