At my fifteen-years-sober party, I invited a friend from my recovery community, someone who's in the rooms but stays on the edges.

I figured he'd drop in for five minutes. Instead he showed up on time and stayed to the very end, and watching him get fed by a community he doesn't let himself have was one of my favorite moments of the whole night.

This is an episode about walking away from the very thing we're aching for.

Question to carry into your day: What are you walking away from right before it could actually feed you?

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An Operation Podcast production | @OperationPodcast

A friend told me she was jealous of a couple at a party, and she said it like a confession, like she'd done something wrong.

It reminded me of a client I had years ago, a sweet man coming out of a really dark time, who told me he'd felt awful and jealous watching his friend get married.

And I surprised him. I said, that's so exciting. It means your heart's still beating in there. It means you still want love.

This is an episode about jealousy as information, not as a judgment on your character.

Question to carry into your day: What has your jealousy been trying to show you that you actually want?

Want to work together? Me too! Book a discovery call and let's talk about whether the Stop Starting Over System is right for you. https://link.mollycarmel.com/widget/bookings/mc-discoverycall

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An Operation Podcast production | @OperationPodcast

I threw myself a party for fifteen years sober, and I planned every piece of it alone, right down to buying my own birthday cake. For days my friends kept asking what they could bring, and I kept saying I'm fine, I got it.

Then the day before, my spiritual advisor Stephanie asked if I was excited, and I heard myself say: I'm realizing I asked no one for help.

This is an episode about why we call it strength to do it all alone.

Question to carry into your day: Where are you calling it strength to do it alone, when it's actually a door you're keeping shut?

Want to work together? Me too! Book a discovery call and let's talk about whether the Stop Starting Over System is right for you. https://link.mollycarmel.com/widget/bookings/mc-discoverycall

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An Operation Podcast production | @OperationPodcast

I do this wild Pilates class on a crazy machine, where you can work off the front, which is the regular hard, or off the back, which is brutal.

First day back this fall, the instructor had written the whole class off the back, and I wanted to see if I could do it, no modifications. I could, and I was so proud. Then I was so wrecked I couldn't work out for two days.

This is an episode about the difference between the hard that builds you and the hard that just wrecks you.

Question to carry into your day: Where are you going all the way to the back of the machine, when the front would build you more?

Want to work together? Me too! Book a discovery call and let's talk about whether the Stop Starting Over System is right for you. https://link.mollycarmel.com/widget/bookings/mc-discoverycall

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An Operation Podcast production | @OperationPodcast

One of my closest friends, a gorgeous storyteller who puts her real life online, posted the other day about how lonely she was feeling.

And my stomach dropped, because I don't reach out to her much, and when I looked at why, the reason was that her life looks so full I'd decided she couldn't possibly need me.

So I texted her: I'm here, and I'm going to be your little stalker, so stay tuned.

This is an episode about the story we tell ourselves to avoid being the one who reaches first.

Question to carry into your day: Who have you decided is too busy to need you, when the truth is you're scared to be the one who reaches first?

Want to work together? Me too! Book a discovery call and let's talk about whether the Stop Starting Over System is right for you. https://link.mollycarmel.com/widget/bookings/mc-discoverycall

Let's Stay Connected:

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An Operation Podcast production | @OperationPodcast

I sent a friendly note to someone I barely know, the kind you forget about in an hour, and got something clipped back. So I wrote again and asked if she was okay.

What came back was that we needed to clear the air, in person, and she wouldn't tell me what it was about. And that little text glued itself to my brain for days. In the shower, on a walk, at two in the morning.

Then my spiritual advisor Juliana said the line her own spiritual advisor says to her: does this matter in Chicago?

This is an episode about the two questions to run when something gets its hooks in you.

Question to carry into your day: What are you spending your life on that never deserved it?

Want to work together? Me too! Book a discovery call and let's talk about whether the Stop Starting Over System is right for you. https://link.mollycarmel.com/widget/bookings/mc-discoverycall

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An Operation Podcast production | @OperationPodcast

My spiritual advisor was in Africa, shoveling garbage to clear a path to where people were living.

And I sent her a voice memo about something bothering me, with a big disclaimer at the front: I know this is nothing compared to what you're seeing.

What she said back changed something in me. This episode is about why comparative suffering doesn't make your pain smaller. It just makes you suffer alone.

Question to carry into your day: Where have you been minimizing your own pain because someone else has it worse, and what would it look like to tend to it anyway?

Ready to do this work with real support? Book a strategy call and let's talk about whether the Stop Starting Over System is right for you. https://link.mollycarmel.com/widget/bookings/mc-discoverycall-organic

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An Operation Podcast production | @OperationPodcast

About five years ago I was deep in a yoga retreat phase, and an email came in about one, and I read half of it. Then I put down the full deposit that same afternoon, glowing. Ready, fire, aim.

Then the actual directions showed up: fasting, no caffeine, rigorous exercise with no breaks. A boot camp with incense.

So I called my spiritual advisor Bessie looking for sympathy, and instead she handed me the guideline I've run my life on ever since.

This is an episode about why the fast yes isn't a decision at all.

Question to carry into your day: What are you about to say yes to that hasn't had a full day to become yours?

Want to work together? Me too! Book a discovery call and let's talk about whether the Stop Starting Over System is right for you. https://link.mollycarmel.com/widget/bookings/mc-discoverycall

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An Operation Podcast production | @OperationPodcast

My friend put off a root canal because she didn't have time. By January she was in agony. And that same week, a woman in one of my groups was asking how to get out of despair.

And I kept thinking about that root canal. Because most of us don't end up in despair because life is unbearable. We end up there because we didn't tend to our sadness when it was still just sadness.

This episode is about why your feelings deserve your attention now, not later, not when it's convenient, not when you have time.

Question to carry into your day: What sadness are you postponing right now, and what would it look like to tend to it before it becomes despair?

Ready to do this work with real support? Book a strategy call and let's talk about whether the Stop Starting Over System is right for you. https://link.mollycarmel.com/widget/bookings/mc-discoverycall-organic

Let's Stay Connected:

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An Operation Podcast production | @OperationPodcast

I was at a meeting last week, settled in my seat and deep in my own head, when my friend Pam walked in late. She was happy to see me, and I just glanced at her and sank right back into my own stuff. I didn't think twice about it.

Turns out Pam spent the whole meeting sure I was mad at her or didn't recognize her. When I hugged her at the end, she told me, and I realized I've been Pam a hundred times, spinning a story about a cold look that was never about me at all.

This is an episode about giving people the most generous interpretation, because everyone's carrying weather you can't see.

This is an episode about why we take other people's moods personally, and how the most generous interpretation is usually the true one.

Question to carry into your day: Whose coldness have you taken personally lately, that might have had nothing to do with you at all?

Want to work together? Me too! Book a discovery call and let's talk about whether the Stop Starting Over System is right for you. https://link.mollycarmel.com/widget/bookings/mc-discoverycall

Let's Stay Connected:

• Subscribe on YouTube
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• Questions or want to share your story? Email me at [email protected]

An Operation Podcast production | @OperationPodcast