A real-time catch-up about nervous-system safety, a Phoenix meet-cute that cracked something open, and what changes when you stop living from lack. In this episode of The Wrong Ones, I'm doing something a little different. Instead of a fully scripted conversation, I'm letting this one unfold the way life has been unfolding lately—messy, surprising, and honestly kind of beautiful. It's part storytime, part reflection, and part psychological deep-dive into the quiet internal shift that happens when you stop orienting your life around what's missing and start inhabiting what's already here. We start with the holidays back on the East Coast—family, old rhythms, that subtle kind of emotional grounding—and then move into New Year's Eve in Sedona with lifelong friends. A night that wasn't flashy or performative, but deeply regulating. No pressure to reinvent. No "new year, new me" energy. Just safety. The kind that settles your body, not just your mind. And then there's Phoenix. A chaotic travel day, a Starbucks that turns into a meet-cute, and a conversation that becomes unexpectedly intimate—fast. Not because it was meant to be "the one," but because it showed me something: how different connection feels when your nervous system isn't in a state of lack. When chemistry doesn't hijack you. When you can enjoy something without trying to turn it into a future. From there, we get into what's shifted beneath the surface—how fulfillment changes attraction patterns, why urgency gets mistaken for alignment, and how "trust the timing" can sometimes become a spiritual-sounding way to bypass real grief. Because timing isn't something that happens to you—it's something that emerges when your internal state and your external choices finally match. This episode is for anyone who feels like they're "waiting" for love to start their life, anyone who's tired of confusing intensity with depth, and anyone learning how to hold desire without letting it dominate them. Because your life isn't a waiting room. It's happening right now. Reflection Prompt of the Episode: Where are you treating your life like it starts later—and what would change if you started living as if it's already yours? What are you still measuring against an imaginary timeline? What would it look like to hold desire without urgency—without turning every connection into a test or a sign? Resources & Concepts Mentioned: Nervous System Regulation & Felt Safety Attachment Patterns (Anxious vs. Secure Dynamics) Chemistry vs. Activation (Anxiety mistaken for attraction) Emotional Outsourcing & Co-Regulation Identity Foreclosure (Premature commitment to an identity/path) Intensity vs. Depth (why urgency feels like meaning) Spiritual Bypassing ("trust the timing" without context) Agency vs. Passive Waiting (alignment as a choice) Discernment & Self-Trust (walking away from what costs peace) Fulfillment as a foundation for healthier attraction

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