Spiraling Higher

85. Heal Your "All or Nothing" + Black & White Thinking


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Spiralers, we're calling you (and ourselves!) out. It's time to become aware of and heal our attachment to the far too common "ALL OR NOTHING" paradigm - where you are either going full throttle, pedal to the metal, or completely exhausted and avoiding things all together.


Listen to this episode on YouTube:

https://youtu.be/JiOsgMl1FYM


For years we both struggled with the constant physical and emotional pendulum swing from wild action to inaction, unable to find a healthy and sustainable balance from which to pursue our desires. We were always either going for it and simulatenously sacrificing our own needs or we were too afraid or burnt out to take any action at all.


If this sounds familiar to you, you are likely stuck in BLACK + WHITE thinking. It's the tendency to see, and act, in extremes. Either it's all good or ALL bad. Although this type of thinking might feel normal to you, as it once did for us, it's actually a cognitive distortion.


If you were to read about it on Wikipedia, it would say that binary thinking, black-and-white thinking, all-or-nothing thinking, or thinking in extremes is "the failure in a person's thinking to bring together the dichotomy of both perceived positive and negative qualities of something into a cohesive, realistic whole. It is a common defense mechanism wherein the individual tends to think in extremes with no middle ground."


Here on the Spiraling Higher Podcast, we have been abundantly clear that our BELIEFS shape our reality. So, consider this...if our beliefs are distorted to see things in an all or nothing fashion...how will that shape our experience of life? In our experience, it led to extreme highs and sometime even lower lows. We realized eventually that our thinking was playing a role in the creation of our inner roller coaster and we feel so honored to be sharing those lessons today from the heart.


Highlights:


-Discover how perfectionism seeps into our daily routines, amplifying feelings of guilt and pressure.

-Uncover the constraints of all-or-nothing thinking and how it limits our personal freedom.

-Explore the empowering journey of challenging societal norms as a route to genuine self-acceptance.

-Hear the truth behind New Year's resolutions and the reasons they fall flat.

-Learn the vital balance between flexibility and rigidity in goal-setting for healthier well-being.

-Understand how perfectionistic beliefs can cast a shadow over parenting, affecting both parents and children.

-Explore the powerful connection between self-punishment and all-or-nothing thinking, and discover effective strategies to break free from this cycle for a healthier, more balanced mindset.


Timestamps:


03:12 Breaking Free from Perfectionism

06:04 The All or Nothing Mentality

08:50 Exploring The Relationship to Food + Connection to All or Nothing

12:03 The Journey to Intuitive Living

14:56 Challenging Self-Worth and Value

18:08 The Impact of New Year's Resolutions

21:02 Redefining Success and Acceptance

24:12 Parenting and Perfectionism

31:06 Understanding All or Nothing Thinking

36:03 The Impact of Self-Punishment

41:51 Challenging Perfectionism and Self-Acceptance

49:08 The Illusion of Forever

56:25 Embracing the Journey of Self-Discovery




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Spiraling HigherBy Gina Bourne and Samantha Chung

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