Spiraling Higher by Gina Bourne and Samantha Chung

October 30, 2024 86. Flynn Skidmore: Generational Healing + The Fear of Not Reaching Your Potential

Spiralers...what a TREAT!!! We had the lovely Flynn Skidmore join us to have a deeply healing and grounding conversation that soothed generational wounds, the superiority vs. inferiority complex, and the resistance to acceptance. If you are not already familiar with Flynn, he is someone who has been fascinated by the unconscious from an early age which led him to his previous practice as a therapist with extensive training in Internal Family Systems, Neuro Linguistic Programming, and Somatic Experiencing. His primary intention for clients all around the world is to accelerate evolution. By diving deeply into the wounds, friction, and patterning that prevent us from creating momentum, he offers an uncanny ability to bring warmth to the parts of us that we perceive as darkness - freeing up energy to become more creative and loving.

Because Sam personally knows and has worked with Flynn, this conversation felt like 3 friends exploring their parallel perspectives on generational wounds, feeling unseen by a parent, meeting your ego, and how to truly grow and get what you desire from your relationships. Gina shares her own vulnerable experience of feeling unseen by her mother and the impact it has had on her, while Flynn offers a liberating perspective on healing that is counter to what many healers offer these days.

Through this conversation, we all get to be deeply vulnerable and transparent about the ways in which we derived value and self-importance in our lives and the underlying fears and desires behind those behaviors (shadow work!)

But perhaps the most compelling element of this conversation was Flynn's approach to the terrifying fear, "What if I don't reach my potential?" and "Why won't the other person change?" His perspective and emphasis on personal responsibility and independence is a paradigm shift and he offers his very own co-creation framework: shared vision, capacity to execute, rate of execution, and satisfaction with rate of execution. Flynn also explains that relational satisfaction comes down to aligning visions and having satisfactory rates of execution with respect to that very vision in relationships. He also explores the themes of frustration and dissatisfaction in relationship and identifies how you can overcome these.

If you're still reading these, trust me...this one's good. It's soul food for the human who is actively doing the inner work and by the end of this episode, you will better understand the behaviors that inform our false sense of superiority or value and the transformative powers of acceptance, curiosity and personal responsibility.

Timestamps:

00:00 Feeling Unseen in Parent-Child Relationships

03:35 Healing Generational Wounds

13:54 How the Ego Derives Value and Self-Importance

25:21 The Power of Curiosity and Compassion

26:04 Healing and Transforming Unconscious Wounds

28:17 Recycling Painful Patterns and Repurposing Traits

29:32 Moving Towards a Different Fuel Source

30:35 Tapping into Trust and Overcoming Fear

31:36 The Process of Letting Go and Opening Up

33:15 Understanding Fear as a Motivator for Achievement

34:30 The Transition from Fear to Warmth and Compassion