You’re sitting in a meeting thinking you’re here to talk about support.

There’s a plan. There are ‘adjustments’.

And yet your child is still escalating… and suddenly the school is hinting at removal, reduced hours, or ‘this isn’t the right setting’.

This episode is the practical middle bit no one gives you:

When a plan exists, but it’s either the wrong plan — or it’s not actually being applied.

WHY THIS MATTERS

When a school says ‘the plan isn’t working’, it often gets translated as ‘your child is the problem’.

But plans fail for predictable reasons:

1. they’re too big and unworkable in a class of 28
2. no one is actually implementing them consistently
3. teachers don’t understand the ‘why’ behind the strategies
4. the plan ignores language processing, sensory load, or demand avoidance
5. there’s no review cycle, no accountability, no data, just documentation
6. the teacher doesn't have the capacity to implement the plan in the classroom due to numbers and workload.

And when the plan becomes a ‘set and forget’ document, you get stuck in a dangerous loop:

‘We tried everything’ → escalation continues → the child gets labelled → exclusion gets normalised.

WHAT WE COVER

1. Why an IEP is a start, not a manual
2. How ‘too many strategies at once’ makes a plan fail fast
3. What to ask when the school says ‘we’ve tried everything’
4. How to check if staff actually understand what’s on the plan
5. Why ‘accommodation’ can trigger teacher resistance — and how ‘considerations’ changes the tone
6. The missing piece in most behaviour plans: language processing and communication load
7. How literal thinking, vague instructions, and high language demand can create ‘refusal’ and shutdown
8. How to build accountability into the plan (review dates, outcomes, roles, communication method)
9. Red flags that the school has decided your child is ‘too hard’
10. Green flags that the team is still in curiosity, collaboration, and problem-solving
11. Orchid vs dandelion kids: when pushing through builds resilience, and when it becomes trauma

THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF…

1. your child has a plan at school but behaviour is still escalating
2. you keep hearing ‘we’re doing everything’ but nothing changes
3. the teacher looks overwhelmed and the plan feels impossible in real life
4. your child gets labelled ‘defiant’ or ‘refusing’ and you suspect it’s processing/demand/safety
5. you’re trying to work out ‘do we persist or do we leave?’
6. you want practical language for meetings without becoming ‘that mum’

MORE ABOUT SALLY GALLOWAY & KAT MARRINGTON

Kat Marrington (Speech Pathologist) at www.Talkiplay.com

Sally Galloway (Occupational Therapist) at www.sallygalloway.com.au

🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED IN THIS TRANSCRIPT

1️⃣ When School Decides Your Child Is the Problem

https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/when-school-decides-your-child-is-the-problem/

2️⃣ Vanessa LaPointe Episode

Grieving the Child You Imagined — While Loving the One in Front of You

https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/parenting-grief-adhd-mums

3️⃣ Resilience vs Trauma Episode (Emma Rose)

Raising Strong Children: How to Support Without Always Solving Their Problems

https://adhdmums.com.au/raising-strong-children/

🌸 ORCHID & DANDELION REFERENCE

Dr W. Thomas Boyce

Developmental paediatrician and author of The Orchid and the Dandelion

Boyce, W. T. (2019). The Orchid and the Dandelion: Why Sensitive Children Face Challenges and How All Can Thrive. Knopf.

📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:

Bullying Response Kit

https://adhdmums.com.au/product/bullying-response-kit-adhd-mums/

The School Choice Kit

https://adhdmums.com.au/product/the-school-choice-kit/

Explaining ADHD to Kids – Parents Guide

https://adhdmums.com.au/product/explaining-adhd-to-kids-parents-guide/

📬 Check out my Paid Resource on Schools:

Making School Work – Parent Guide ($20)

https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/

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