The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

88: What happens when the AVOIDANT realizes they’ve LOST you? Understanding Dismissive Avoidants


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How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

"What happens when a dismissive avoidant realizes they lost me?” 🖤✨ A question I get asked as relationship coach a bunch of times.

If you’ve ever found yourself replaying the breakup in your head, wondering: “Is he thinking about me? Does he even care? Will he ever come back?” this episode is for you.

I’ll walk you through the hidden emotional timeline of the avoidant partner after a breakup..the relief phase, the delayed grief, and the subtle breadcrumbs they drop instead of saying “I miss you.”

We’ll explore why they seem fine right away, why their emotions hit them months later, and the indirect ways they try to reconnect when vulnerability feels too dangerous.

Think of it like opening a locked safe..their feelings are inside, but the timing of when they surface might surprise you.

You’ll learn:

★ Why avoidants really pull away when things feel “too close”
★ The difference between breakup relief and delayed grief
★ How to spot those tiny breadcrumbs that mean more than they let on
★ Why their suffering shows up AFTER you’ve already cried your tears
★ Four powerful steps YOU can take to reclaim your energy and move forward with confidence

This isn’t about waiting for them to change—it’s about understanding the avoidant attachment style better, so you can stop second-guessing yourself and finally put the focus back on YOU.

If you’re anxiously attached and stuck in the “what ifs,” this episode will give you clarity, relief, and a path to heal while they’re still wrestling with their locked-away emotions.

Press play, and let’s unpack what really happens when the avoidant realizes they lost you. 📓🖤✨

 

CHAPTER:

00:00 Understanding Avoidant Attachment After a Breakup

01:10 What is an Avoidant Attachment Style?
02:13 How This Leads to a Breakup
03:59 Why They Pull Away
06:35 The Breakup RELIEF and Delayed Grief
09:43 Indirect Ways They Show They Care
11:15 Why Anxious hurt DURING relationships, Avoidant’s AFTER
13:14 Empowering yourself after a Breakup 4 Steps
16:28 Step 01
17:25 Step 02
18:12 Step 03
18:49 Step 04
19:32 Remember THIS

 

Attachment Style QUIZ :

Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

 

✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST 

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist

 

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DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

 

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

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The Anxious To Secure PODCASTBy Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach

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