Choosing to Stay

#91 Self-Advocacy in the Aftermath of Betrayal


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In this episode of Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal, we explore the critical role of self-advocacy in the healing process. Recovery is a deeply personal journey, and learning to advocate for yourself—whether with professionals, your spouse, or even with yourself—is essential for moving forward. Join us as we dive into:

  • Trusting Your Gut: Learn to tune into your inner voice and distinguish between intuition and fear. Discover practical ways to rebuild self-trust after betrayal.
  • Advocating with Your Professional Team: Tips for choosing the right therapist, coach, or support group, communicating your needs effectively, and evaluating your progress along the way.
  • Advocating with Your Spouse: How to set boundaries, create space for meaningful dialogue, and handle pushback while standing firm in your needs.
  • Advocating with Yourself: Embrace self-compassion, define your non-negotiables, and hold yourself accountable without guilt or shame.
  • Overcoming External Pressures: Strategies to resist people-pleasing tendencies, manage unsolicited advice, and stay true to your unique recovery journey.
  • Thank you for tuning in!

    We’re here to support couples healing from infidelity and betrayal, offering encouragement, practical skills, and expertise each week. As certified relational recovery coaches, we are passionate about guiding you toward hope, empathy, and lasting healing.

    Stay connected with us and access all the resources we offer—coaching sessions, groups, and more—by visiting this link.

    Your Hosts:

    Hali Roderick

    Certified Relational Recovery Coach

    TICC, PCC, APSATS CPC-Candidate, ERCEM-C

    Stephanie Hamby

    Certified Relational Recovery Coach

    MCLC, ACC, APSATS CPC, ERCEM-C

    We look forward to journeying with you!

    Trusting Your Gut

    • Understanding Intuition: How to recognize your inner voice amidst the noise of emotions and external opinions.

    • Distinguishing Fear from Intuition: Strategies to differentiate between instinctive knowing and fear-based reactions.

    • Rebuilding Self-Trust: Practical steps to regain confidence in your decision-making after betrayal.

    • Advocating with Your Professional Team

      • Selecting the Right Professionals: Choosing therapists, coaches, or support groups that align with your values and needs.

      • Clear Communication: How to articulate your goals, boundaries, and expectations with professionals.

      • Evaluating Progress: Knowing when a professional relationship is working or when it's time to seek a new perspective.

      • Advocating with Your Spouse

        • Setting Boundaries: Communicating your needs clearly and respectfully without guilt or hesitation.

        • Creating Space for Open Dialogue: Establishing times and ways to discuss your feelings and progress.

        • Navigating Pushback: Handling resistance or defensiveness from your partner while standing firm in your needs.

        • Advocating with Yourself

          • Defining Your Non-Negotiables: Identifying what you need to heal and sticking to it.

          • Practicing Self-Compassion: Giving yourself permission to prioritize your well-being without shame.

          • Holding Yourself Accountable: Balancing self-advocacy with consistent effort in your healing journey.

          • Overcoming External Pressures

            • Managing Well-Meaning Advice: How to deal with unsolicited opinions from friends, family, or society.

            • Resisting People-Pleasing Tendencies: Staying aligned with your needs rather than others' expectations.

            • Focusing on Your Unique Path: Emphasizing that your recovery process is not one-size-fits-all.

            • Encouraging Listeners

              • Affirmation of Strength: Acknowledge their courage in advocating for themselves.

              • Call to Action: Small steps they can take today to practice self-advocacy, such as journaling or having a candid conversation.

              • This episode will empower you to stand up for yourself and trust that you know what is best for your healing process. Whether you're just starting or are well into your journey, these insights and strategies will help you take ownership of your recovery.

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