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What does an emotionally shut down man actually look like?
Spoiler: Usually not what people think.
In this powerful conversation, Luke and Alana explore the hidden reality of emotional shutdown in men—especially the high-performing, successful men who appear “fine” on the outside but are deeply disconnected on the inside.
From avoidant attachment to compulsive behavior, emotional numbness, and relational loneliness, this episode helps both men and betrayed partners understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.
Healing is possible. Deeper connection is possible.
But first—you have to feel.
Chapters
02:08 What Being Emotionally Shut Down Looks Like
04:21 High Performing Shut down
09:33 Inside the Shutdown
12:59 Signs and Logic
17:14 Learning Emotional Safety
19:55 Tears and the Body
22:21 Busy vs Stillness
24:08 Chasing Intensity
29:53 Numbness and Dissociation
38:28 Individuation and Reconnection
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
By Luke Gordon with Choose Recovery Services5
99 ratings
What does an emotionally shut down man actually look like?
Spoiler: Usually not what people think.
In this powerful conversation, Luke and Alana explore the hidden reality of emotional shutdown in men—especially the high-performing, successful men who appear “fine” on the outside but are deeply disconnected on the inside.
From avoidant attachment to compulsive behavior, emotional numbness, and relational loneliness, this episode helps both men and betrayed partners understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.
Healing is possible. Deeper connection is possible.
But first—you have to feel.
Chapters
02:08 What Being Emotionally Shut Down Looks Like
04:21 High Performing Shut down
09:33 Inside the Shutdown
12:59 Signs and Logic
17:14 Learning Emotional Safety
19:55 Tears and the Body
22:21 Busy vs Stillness
24:08 Chasing Intensity
29:53 Numbness and Dissociation
38:28 Individuation and Reconnection
Watch the episode on YouTube HERE
Register Now!
***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***
🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!
💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.
Connect With Us:
Learn more about Luke here.
Schedule a complimentary consultation here.
Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!
Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services
Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:
Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.
Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.
Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:
Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.
Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.
Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.
Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

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