Why does an emotionally shut down man struggle to change—even when he genuinely wants to?

In this follow-up episode, Luke and Alana respond to listener questions about emotional shutdown, nervous system healing, and what recovery actually looks like for men who have spent years disconnecting from their emotions.

***Listen to Part 1 HERE.***

Together they explore:

• Why insight alone doesn't create change

• What emotional shutdown is really protecting

• How attachment wounds shape adult relationships

• Why some men become more emotional after starting recovery

• What somatic work actually is

• How nervous system healing creates lasting transformation

• What emotional reconnection looks like in real life

Chapters

• 01:45 Why Insight Isn’t Enough

• 08:01 What Shutdown Protects

• 12:12 Control and Safety

• 16:17 Predictability Over Vulnerability

• 20:05 Reconnecting Emotionally

• 28:43 Somatic Work Explained

• 30:04 Healing Takes Time

Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE

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• 🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Retreat is July 30-August 3.

• Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

• Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.

• Know Your Story is a group for men who are ready to move beyond surface-level recovery and explore the experiences, beliefs, and patterns that have shaped their lives. Through guided writing exercises, reflection, and group discussion, participants create a personal narrative that helps them uncover the roots of shame, self-protection, and unhealthy behaviors. Group starts June 22nd and runs for 14 weeks.

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Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

• Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

• Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.

• Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

• Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com