Adoptees On

Today we are joined by Melissa Guida-Richards, author of What White Parents Should Know about Transracial Adoption: An Adoptee's Perspective on Its History, Nuances, and Practices. Melissa is a late discovery adoptee, accidentally finding out at age 19 that she was adopted. She shares with us how she's since reconciled with her adoptive mother and how they now navigate open conversations about race and adoption. Melissa also tells us about how and why she decided to educate and engage with adoptive parents both in print through her words, and in online discussions.

• What White Parents Should Know about Transracial Adoption: An Adoptee's Perspective on Its History, Nuances, and Practices By Melissa Guida-Richards
• Adoptee Thoughts - Melissa Guida-Richards's podcast
• Adoption Mosaic (Hear more about Adoption Mosaic: Astrid Castro's appearance on Adoptees On - Episode 156)

• Melissa Guida-Richards: Twitter | Instagram | www.adopteethoughts.com
• Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
• Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

Today I'm talking with Jan Beatty, poet, professor, and the author of the recently released memoir, American Bastard. We talk about how Jan wants to disrupt the traditional narrative, what she calls the "whitewashed" view of adoption. What happens when you publicly name your hockey-famous biological father, even after he denies your paternity claim? We even get to hear a reading from American Bastard, and it is so powerful it certainly made me tear up.

• American Bastard by Jan Beatty
• The Body Wars by Jan Beatty (and other books of poetry)
• Journey of the Adopted Self by B.J. Lifton
• The West Pole by Diane Glancy

• Jan Beatty: Twitter | Email beattyjp [at] aol [dot] com | www.janbeatty.com
• Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
• Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

I'm honoured to introduce you to Lisa Olivera today, one of my favourite therapists to follow on Instagram. Her gentle and compassionate presence feels like just what we need in this time. The title of Lisa's new book, Already Enough: A Path to Self Acceptance, is the perfect description of the message she wants to share with us today: we're already enough.

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

• Already Enough: A Path to Self Acceptance by Lisa Olivera, MFT
• Make sure to follow Lisa's encouraging Instagram account
• No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model by Richard C. Schwartz, PHD

• Lisa Olivera, MFT: Instagram | lisaolivera.com
• Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
• Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

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Today Leah Cooper shares how listening to hours and hours and hours of adoptees, birth families, and adoptive parents sharing their stories lead her to what she calls her "volcano of grief". Leah was a part of a team that created a play called In My Heart: The Adoption Play Project, which has been transformed into a graphic novel. We discuss how the impact of unpacking her adoption experience has been transformational.

• In My Heart: The Adoption Story Project - Created by Alan Berks & Leah Cooper, Illustrated by Becca Hart
• The somatic approach - using meditation, yoga, & ASMR
• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

• Leah Cooper, Wonderlust Productions: Instagram | Facebook | wlproductions.org
• Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
• Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

Free preview Patreon episode with all the details of our 2022 Book Club: Adoptees On(ly) Book Club 2022 Announcements

Check out our Adoptees On(ly) Book Club picks to add to your TBR pile: https://www.adopteeson.com/bookclub

Join our private community: https://www.adopteeson.com/community

• Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
• Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

Today we are talking about celebrations with Pam Cordano, MFT because we are celebrating 200 episodes of the Adoptees On Podcast! Pam and Haley talk about how celebrations can often feel scary for us as adopted people because feeling joy or happiness can be disorienting (upper limit problem anyone?). Pam shares a few different reasons why we may feel that way, teaches us steps towards feeling happiness, and how to hold space for both good things and challenging things simultaneously.

• 10 Foundations for a Meaningful Life (No Matter What's Happened) by Pam Cordano, MFT
• Read more about the "Upper Limit Problem" in The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks

• Pam Cordano, MFT: pamcordano.com | yourmeaningful.life | Twitter | Instagram | Email pcordano(at)comcast(dot)net
• Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
• Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

Today we welcome back to Adoptees On, Brian Stanton. Brian shares with us how the pandemic morphed his script for a play into his fantastic new film @GhostKingdom. We talk about how relationships can shift for us as adopted people: building relationships with people we may believe are genetic relatives until it's confirmed they aren't, and how his conception story that Brian and his mother believed for decades got upended.

• Brian Stanton's film @GhostKingdom www.atghostkingdom.com and find a screening here
• Adoption Truth and Transparency Worldwide Network
• The Search for Mother Missing: A Peek Inside International Adoption by Janine Vance
• Journey Of The Adopted Self: A Quest For Wholeness by Betty Jean Lifton

• Brian Stanton: Instagram | Facebook | thebrianstanton.com | @GhostKingdom Instagram | www.atghostkingdom.com
• Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
• Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

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Occasional Newsletter | Send a Note

This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

I'm thrilled to bring you today's guest, Andrea Ross, author of Unnatural Selection: A Memoir of Adoption and Wilderness. Andrea shares how a health crisis lead her outdoors, and how a decade of spending time in the wilderness brought her a feeling of groundedness. We discuss the loneliness that adopted people can face and how we've both seen this theme of reconnecting with ancestral landscapes popping up more and more frequently.

Full Show Notes Here

• Unnatural Selection: A Memoir of Adoption and Wilderness by Andrea Ross
• The Wisdom of Wilderness: Experiencing the Healing Power of Nature by Gerald G. May
• Adoption: The Making of Me podcast - Andrea's episode

Notes for Colorado adoptees from a fellow adoptee, Anne:

The Colorado Department of Human Services can give you your adoption file "If your adoption was handled by the state or a county, or the licensed child placement agency (LPCA) that handled your adoption has closed." I was able to receive this information even though I was not physically in Colorado. I just had to send a picture of my ID via email to confirm who I was. This service was free of charge.

Colorado adoptees who want to get their OBC and Report of an Adoption (which is basically like an integrated birth certificate and lists your names pre- and post-adoption, your adoptive parents, your birth parents, the date, time and place of your birth, and the attorney who filed the court documents for the adoption), need to contact the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment or go to their website. There is a form to fill out and a fee to pay for this service.

One piece of information regarding sealed adoption information in Colorado is that circa 1990 all of the paper files were collected from the county courthouses to be microfiched and held centrally. So be prepared to receive copies of microfiche film that is potentially difficult to decipher.

More info and links available here from Adoption Search Resource Connection (based in Colorado): www.asrconline.org/get-records

• Andrea Ross: www.andrearosswriter.com | Twitter | Instagram | Personal Facebook | Facebook Page
• Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
• Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

Today we're back in the spirituality series and we are taking a look at cults and high-demand groups. My guests have both been impacted by cults and they have a theory that adopted people may be more susceptible to these types of groups. Donna and Sara have extensively researched cults since they got out and have a ton of knowledge to share with us. They both tell their personal stories of how they inadvertently found themselves in high-demand groups, how they got out, and what adopted people specifically need to know about cults.

Full Show Notes Here

• Sara Easterly's previous appearance on Adoptees On E143 and Donna's E79
• A Little Bit Culty Podcast
• The Vow: NXIVM Documentary on HBO
• Searching for Mom: A Memoir by Sara Easterly
• Terror, Love and Brainwashing: Attachment in Cults and Totalitarian Systems, by Alexandra Stein

More reading, research, and resources on the topic:

• #iGotOut www.igotout.org | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook
• ICSA: International Cultic Studies Association
• Traumatic Narcissism and Recovery: Leaving the Prison of Shame and Fear by Daniel Shaw
• Terror, Love and Brainwashing: Attachment in Cults and Totalitarian Systems by Alexandra Stein
• BITE Model of Authoritarian Control by Steven Hassan
• Steven Hassan - What is a Cult? YouTube video with a whiteboard animation explaining the BITE Model
• Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships by Jana Lalich, Madeleine Tobias
• The Gift of Fear : Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence by Gavin DeBecker
• Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover
• Sunderland, Paul "Relinquishment and Adoption: Understanding the Impact of and Early Psychological Wound" presentation for iCAAD London 2019, August 12, 2019. (His reference about religiosity/fundamentalism as something commonly seen in adoptees with developmental trauma comes in around 45 minutes in)
• Podcast episode Roys Report "What Makes a Church a Cult" with guest Steven Hassan

• Donna: Email adoptee3 [at] gmail [dot] com
• Sara Easterly: saraeasterly.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
• Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
• Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.

Today we welcome Jack Dermody to the podcast. We talk about family secrets in adoption and the impact it has on all the parties when they are revealed. Jack also gets personal and tells us what happens when you start closely examining your adoptee experience in your seventies. We talk about family preservation and adoptee support, and how that looks like community showing up for each other on a large scale.

Full Show Notes Here

• @GhostKingdom by Brian Stanton
• Tree of Strangers by Barbara Sumner
• It Takes a Village by Hillary Rodham Clinton

• Jack Dermody: Facebook
• Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
• Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

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