I’ve been realizing how deep my avoidance runs, how I try to control everything just to avoid getting hurt. I talk about a moment this week that really triggered me, some shit came up in my relationship, and I was ready to dip … in the moment I realized that I had to sit with it and be like … am I actually scared of her, or am I scared of being loved? I discuss how I’ve been stuck in the cycle of pushing love away while still craving it, how fear of abandonment has shaped my whole routine, and why I keep people at a distance even when I don’t want to.

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