Dating with standards is essential—it’s how we protect ourselves from repeating old mistakes and from settling for less than we deserve. But what happens when those standards start to feel less like safety rails and more like walls keeping people out?

In this episode, I sit down with Ashtyn to explore the fine line between boundaries that serve you and expectations that may be unintentionally working against you. Together, we look at how fear, loneliness, and past heartbreak can all sneak into our standards—disguising themselves as “non-negotiables.”

Because the truth is: Having standards isn’t the problem. The challenge is making sure they’re rooted in self-respect, not self-protection at all costs.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

• How to tell the difference between healthy boundaries and hidden barriers.
  

• The subtle ways loneliness can trick you into lowering—or raising—your standards.
  

• A framework for evaluating whether your “dealbreakers” are serving you or sabotaging you.
  

If you’ve ever wondered whether your standards are keeping you safe—or keeping you single—this episode will give you the clarity you need.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

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Watch this episode here on YouTube.