If issues in your relationships keep pulling you away from the choices you know are better for you, this episode is for you.

You know what it costs.

You know you will regret it.

And somehow, you still do it again.

In this episode, Dr. Darcy Sterling is joined by Dr. Rachel Goldman for a conversation about self-sabotage, behavior change, self-trust, people-pleasing, boundaries, avoidance, and why insight alone is rarely enough to interrupt a pattern.

You may hear yourself in this episode if:

• You keep breaking promises you made to yourself• You know the behavior is not working, but still cannot stop in the moment

• Being nice, flexible, or “easy” keeps costing you more than you admit

• The hardest part is not just the behavior — it is what it does to your self-trust after

Because the part of you that keeps winning

may be solving something

you still do not know how to solve differently.

Listen to Why You Keep Self-Sabotaging — Even When You Know Better and follow We Need To Talk with Dr. Darcy Sterling for more conversations on relationships, behavior change, and emotional patterns.

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

⁠www.alternativescounseling.com⁠

www.drrachelnyc.com

When Life Happens: The Mindset Shift You Need to Manage Stress, Build Confidence, and Break Free. 

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

⁠DISCLAIMER⁠

⁠Instagram:@drdarcysterling ⁠

⁠Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling⁠

⁠Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  ⁠

X⁠:@DrDarcySterling   ⁠

⁠YouTube:@DarcySterling   ⁠

⁠Threads:@drdarcysterling⁠

⁠Watch this episode here on YouTube. ⁠

If your relationships have ever left you replaying a breakup, searching for one more answer, this episode is for you.

The person is gone.

But your mind is still building the case.

Still replaying the evidence.

Still trying to understand what happened.

In this episode, Dr. Darcy Sterling breaks down why some breakups are so hard to move on from, why closure can become a trap, and why heartbreak is often about more than just losing the person. This episode explores breakup grief, rumination, closure, emotional attachment, relationship loss, and the version of your future that may have disappeared with them.

You may hear yourself in this episode if:

• You keep replaying the breakup like there is still something to solve

• You want one more conversation so they finally say the thing you need to hear

• You are not just grieving your ex — you are grieving the life you thought you were building

• Closure still feels like the one thing standing between you and relief

Because the thing you are still trying to get backmay not be the person alone.

Listen to the full episode now.

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

⁠www.alternativescounseling.com⁠

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

⁠DISCLAIMER⁠

⁠Instagram:@drdarcysterling ⁠

⁠Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling⁠

⁠Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  ⁠

X⁠:@DrDarcySterling   ⁠

⁠YouTube:@DarcySterling   ⁠

⁠Threads:@drdarcysterling⁠

⁠Watch this episode here on YouTube. ⁠

If overthinking in your relationships keeps turning small moments into big alarms, this episode is for you.

A delayed text.

A short answer.

A shift in energy.

And suddenly, your mind is off and running.

If this is you:

• You read into tone, pauses, and changes in energy fast

• A delayed text can change your whole mood

• You keep trying to get clarity, but end up feeling worse

• What starts as doubt can turn into a full spiral

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Dan Siegel to talk about why your mind can start treating uncertainty like danger — and what helps you stop getting pulled into the loop.

Because once overthinking starts feeling like information, it gets hard to know what you are actually responding to.

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.comwww.drdansiegel.com

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

If telling your partner the truth about a fantasy could change how they see you, this episode is for you.

A fantasy.

A pause.

A look on their face.

And suddenly, the moment is bigger than what you said.

If this is you:

• You start softening, editing, or managing the truth before you even say it

• Your partner’s silence feels almost impossible to sit in

• You worry sexual honesty could expose more than desire

• You do not know when disclosure is intimacy and when it starts feeling dangerous

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife to talk about what sexual honesty can expose in a relationship.

Because the moment you tell the truth is often the moment you find out what the relationship can hold.

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

That We Might Have Joy: Desire, Divinity & Intimate Love

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

If you’re the one who stays calm, reflects, communicates carefully, and keeps trying to get it right — but still feels lonely, resentful, or exhausted in the relationship — this episode will probably feel uncomfortably familiar.

Because sometimes the problem is not that you are handling the relationship poorly. It is that you have gotten so good at handling it that nothing is forcing the relationship to change.

At some point, it stops being about how you say it…and starts being about what the relationship can actually hold.

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

If people who feel distant, hard to read, or just out of reach keep pulling you in, this episode is for you.

Not someone who is obviously unavailable.

Someone compelling.

Mysterious.

Just available enough to keep you leaning in.

If this is you:

• You mistake mixed signals for chemistry

• You keep explaining your needs better and hoping something will finally click

• You do not see the cost clearly until you are already attached

• Distance and inconsistency make you lean in harder, not less

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.

Because sometimes the pull feels strongest

right where the information should be slowing you down.

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child: Your Blueprint to a Lifetime of Happiness and Success for Your Child

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

If your partner saying no to sex lands as hurt, doubt, or feeling unwanted, this episode is for you.

Because sometimes the hardest part is not the no itself. It is how fast that moment starts meaning more. More about you. More about the relationship.

If this is you:

• Your partner saying no to sex hits harder than you think it should

• Affection has started feeling confusing instead of comforting

• You keep wondering what every kiss, compliment, or distance means

• You do not know whether the problem is sex, rejection, or something bigger

In this episode, I’m talking about the kind of moment that does not stay contained.

Because after a while, it is not just the no you are reacting to.

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

If a subtle shift in your partner can hijack your body before your mind can make sense of what’s happening, this episode is for you.

A shift in tone.

A text that feels off.

A little more distance.

And suddenly, something in you is no longer steady.

Today, I’m talking about the kind of moment that does not just feel bad. It can change everything in you in a second.

Because by the time you are trying to understand it, the part of you asking questions is already late.

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

If a smug comment, a passive-aggressive text, or a condescending tone can stay in your head for hours, this episode is for you.

Because sometimes the hardest part is not the comment.

It is what happens after.

After they say it.

After you should be over it.

This might sound familiar if:

• A rude comment stays with you longer than you want it to

• You know responding will make it worse, but silence still feels wrong

• The second you do not answer, it starts to feel personal

In this episode, I’m talking about the kind of negativity that does not end when the moment ends.

Because the thing that keeps pulling you back may not be the comment itself.

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Your partner answers you.

Explains themselves.

Reassures you.

And somehow, you still cannot settle.

Because sometimes the doubt does not end when the conversation ends.

It comes back after.

After the answer.

After you should feel better.

This might sound familiar if:

• Your partner reassures you, but the anxiety comes back anyway

• A shift in tone, timing, or energy stays with you for hours

• You keep going back for more certainty and still do not feel settled

• You cannot tell whether something is wrong in the relationship or something got triggered in  you

• You leave the conversation with an answer, but not with relief

In this episode, I’m talking about the kind of doubt that keeps people checking, questioning, and focusing on their partner even when nothing is clearly wrong.

Because the part that keeps pulling you back in

may not be where you think it is.

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.