You know that moment when you tell yourself you’ll scroll for just five more minutes… and somehow, an hour disappears?

In this solo episode, I’m digging into the psychology behind why we feel addicted to social media—and what we can do about it. Because this goes way beyond distraction. For many of us, the endless scrolling becomes compulsive. Especially after a breakup or during times of heightened insecurity, our feeds start to feel less like entertainment and more like a source of clues… or control.

But here’s the truth: Social media addiction is real. It may not be in the DSM, but it mirrors other behavioral addictions in all the ways that matter—dopamine hits, compulsive checking, withdrawal symptoms, and the toll it takes on your mental health.

I’ll walk you through the neuroscience behind the urge to scroll, the emotional traps baked into the platforms, and why abstinence isn’t a realistic solution for most of us. And I’ll give you tangible strategies to regain control without having to delete every app off your phone.

Whether you’re caught in a loop of stalking someone’s stories, waking up and reaching for your phone before your feet hit the floor, or just feeling like your attention span has been hijacked—this episode is for you.

You’ll walk away with:

• A deeper understanding of why social media feels addictive—and how it manipulates your brain’s reward system.
• The 3 red flags that signal your relationship with social media may be harming your mental health.
• Science-backed, therapist-tested strategies for breaking the cycle—without quitting cold turkey.

If you’ve ever felt ashamed or confused by your own scrolling habits, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken. Let’s talk about what’s really going on—and how to reclaim your peace.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling/com

https://www.askdrdarcy.com/references/

Email Amanda at [email protected] for course purchase - Code 5FRIENDS

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen and Ines Goot.

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

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Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You know those relationship fights that keep coming up again and again? The ones that go in circles—never really getting resolved, just getting recycled?

My guest this week is Julie Mennano—licensed therapist, author of Secure Love, and host of The Secure Relationship Podcast. Julie has a rare gift for helping couples identify the deeper emotional patterns driving their relationship conflict. She doesn’t just teach attachment theory—she translates it into practical tools you can actually use to change how you show up in love.

Together, we explore why some arguments seem to have no end, why traditional communication strategies fall short, and how so much of your relationship conflict is tied to your nervous system and attachment style—not the surface-level issues like chores, tone, or timing.

Whether you're in a romantic relationship, married, or navigating long-term partnership dynamics, this episode will help you understand the real reason your communication breaks down—and what to do about it.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why some relationship conflicts never feel resolved—and why it’s not about the dishwasher.
• How your attachment style and nervous system responses are shaping your conflict cycle.
• Practical tools for moving from conflict and disconnection to repair and reconnection.

If you’ve ever walked away from an argument thinking, “We’ve had this fight a hundred times,” this conversation will show you what’s really going on—and how to finally create meaningful change in your relationship.

Xxoo,

Darcy

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you've ever found yourself walking on eggshells in relationships, struggling to set boundaries, or feeling like your emotional needs are too much, this episode is for you.

I sat down with clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Lindsay Gibson—whose groundbreaking work has helped millions of adult children of emotionally immature parents understand the long-term effects of childhood emotional neglect. We’re talking about the kinds of parents who were emotionally unavailable, unpredictable, or unable to meet your needs—and what that means for your adult relationships today.

This conversation isn’t about blaming or bashing. It’s about clarity. It’s about reclaiming your story. And it’s about learning how to break the cycle of emotional immaturity so you don’t keep reenacting the same painful patterns with partners, friends, or even your own children.

Whether you’ve gone no-contact, low-contact, or you’re still trying to make it work with a difficult parent, this episode will give you insight—and practical tools—to help you move forward.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The relational habits and coping strategies that adult children of emotionally immature parents often carry into their closest relationships.
• Why people who didn’t receive emotional intimacy in childhood often struggle to recognize their own needs—and stay too long in one-sided relationships.
• How to coexist with this kind of parent—without cutting them off.

If this resonates with you, make sure you follow the show—and please share it with someone who might need to hear it.

If you listen to 1 podcast this month, THIS IS IT. 

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounselng.com

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Holiday weeks always make me feel nostalgic, and that feeling tends to make me reflect on people who used to be in my life but no longer are… That’s why, this week, we’re re-releasing our most popular episode of all time—on family estrangement.

Clearly, this topic resonates. So many of us live in the tension between missing someone we’ve cut off, and fearing that reconciliation would just reopen the same wounds that caused the break in the first place. If that’s you, I hope this episode gives you some clarity—and a little bit of peace.

The threads that bind us to our families have begun to feel optional in recent years. 

And in our culture of social media — where anyone with a phone can proclaim themselves to be an expert on subjects that they have no training or qualifications in — influencers are everywhere, some of them encouraging followers to end what they deem to be toxic relationships, or to break unhealthy cycles, or to rethink the obligation of being in our closest relationships. 

I am a fan of healthy relationships. And when they become exploitive, manipulative or harmful, I am OK with someone making the decision to exit the relationship — even when it’s with a family member. 

I am truly torn when it comes to family estrangement. I know first hand the wounds that come from being in a painful relationship. I understand why someone would make the decision to step away. And as a therapist and a human being, I’ve seen the cost people pay when they lose their tribe. 

Joining me in this discussion is Dr. Joshua Coleman, author of the book Rules of Estrangement. Dr. Coleman is a psychologist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area, and he has carved out a specialty in family estrangement. 

In this episode you’ll learn:

• The #1 cause of family estrangement.  
• How well-meaning friends and family tend to exacerbate estrangement. 
• The biggest mistakes people make when they’re trying to reconcile. 

AND… Dr. Coleman gives us his greatest tool for those who want to bridge the gap between themself and a loved one they’re cut off from. 

REFERENCES

www.alterntivescounseling.com

Is Cutting Off Your Family Good Therapy?

Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties & How to Heal the Conflict

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani. 

 DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I’ve worked with so many smart, successful people who keep finding themselves in relationships that just don’t work. They’re self-aware, they’ve done the therapy, and on paper, they’re a catch. So why do they keep picking partners who can’t meet them where they are?

In this episode, I’m joined by psychologist and “Love & Life” podcast host Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell to talk about why high-functioning people so often end up in low-quality relationships—and what to do about it.

We’re breaking down:

• Why emotionally intelligent people sometimes ignore red flags.
• The role fantasy and projection play in choosing the wrong partners.
• How to tell the difference between chemistry and compatibility.
• What “dating at your level” really looks like.
• How to stop mistaking potential for actual partnership.

If you’ve ever thought, “Maybe I’m the common denominator,” this conversation is for you. Because sometimes, you’re not the problem—you’re just dating one.

🎧 Hit play. Let’s talk about it.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

Stat on DSM

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cannabis is having a wellness moment. But is it a legitimate mental health tool—or just a new way to avoid our feelings?

Today’s users aren’t who they used to be. They’re CEOs. Athletes using it for sleep and recovery. People with anxiety trying to get off benzos. Moms who’d rather have an edible than drink three glasses of wine.

I’m joined today by Peter Barsoom, founder of 1906—a company making cannabis products designed to help people achieve specific states of mind. We talk about how low-dose, purpose-driven cannabis is becoming part of daily routines for people who never would’ve touched weed in the past.

We discuss:

• Whether cannabis can actually support mental health.
• What the research says about microdosing THC.
• Why so many people are replacing alcohol with cannabis.
• The line between emotional regulation and emotional avoidance.
• 
  

I also share my own experience with weed: how I used it early in life, how I’ve started experimenting with it again, and how I’ve pretty much stopped drinking this past year.

If you’ve ever wondered whether cannabis is helping you—or just numbing you—this conversation is for you.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

https://www.askdrdarcy.com/podcast-resources/

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In 2018, Judge Rosemarie Aquilina made headlines around the world by doing something radical in a courtroom: She listened. During the sentencing hearing for Larry Nassar—a doctor who sexually abused over 150 women and girls under the guise of medical treatment—she operated her courtroom with a level of sensitivity and sophistication that we rarely see outside of a therapist’s office, giving each survivor the opportunity to speak, validating their pain and allowing their stories to be heard in a system that so often silences them.

In this episode, I sit down with Judge Aquilina to talk about trauma, justice, and what happens when survivors are finally believed. We explore the emotional toll of reporting sexual abuse, the institutional failures that allowed Nassar’s abuse to continue for decades, and how one judge’s empathy became a turning point in the #MeToo movement.

⚠️ Content warning: This episode contains explicit discussions of sexual abuse and trauma, including the crimes committed by Larry Nassar. Please listen with care.

Topics we cover:

• Why so many survivors of sexual assault stay silent.
• How institutions fail to protect victims—and protect abusers instead.
• The power of being believed and heard in a courtroom.
• Judge Aquilina’s unique role in a landmark case—and how she holds space for survivor healing.
• What justice can look like when it centers empathy and accountability.

If you or someone you know is a survivor of sexual violence, support is available. Visit RAINN.org or call 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.AlternativesCounseling.com

Darcy’s Hair: TheHairPlayStudio.com

Just Watch Me

Speak Up: Lessons in Trusting Your Instincts

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

Twitter:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We talk a lot about rebuilding emotional trust after infidelity. But what happens when it’s time to rebuild sexual trust—the kind that requires you to feel safe enough to be vulnerable again in your body?

In this episode of We Need To Talk with Dr. Darcy Sterling, Dr. Darcy sits down with renowned sex therapist Dr. Emily Jamea to explore what couples often don’t anticipate: how hard it can be to reclaim desire after betrayal.

Together, they unpack the disconnect between forgiveness and physical intimacy, why the body doesn’t always follow the heart, and what it really takes to get the sex back after trust has been broken.

You’ll Learn:

• Why intimacy often triggers fear, resentment, or shame post-betrayal.
• What makes physical reconnection harder than emotional forgiveness.
• How to rebuild sexual trust after infidelity.
• 
  

AND… Dr. Emily and I both weigh in on how we’d respond to infidelity in our respective marriages. 

This is a great conversation — I highly recommend listening. 

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

Mindful Care

Anatomy of Desire: Five Secrets to Create Connection and Cultivate Passion

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Robyn Jaenchen, and Ines Gout.

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Everything You’ve Been Taught About Intimacy Is Wrong

Today’s episode is one I couldn’t wait to bring back. It’s a listener favorite that’s just as powerful now as when it first aired. If you missed it the first time, you’re in for something special — and if you didn’t, you’ll get even more out of it this time:

Everything you thought you knew about intimacy? Michaela Boehm is here to challenge it.

Michaela Boehm is a renowned intimacy expert and celebrity relationship coach whose unconventional approach flips traditional relationship advice on its head.

In this episode, we reveal:

• Why date nights can backfire on your romantic connection.
• How casual touch may be dulling your sexual chemistry over time.
• Why fading attraction can actually be a sign of relationship growth.

If you’re looking for practical intimacy tips and a fresh perspective on love, sex, and relationships, this is a must-listen.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

Mindful Care

The Wild Woman's Way: Reconnect to Your Body's Wisdom (A Woman's Guide to Spiritual Growth)

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Preston Smith. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I’m a Catch. So Why Am I Still Single?

These days, “being a catch” has become its own kind of identity. 

Career? On point. Emotional intelligence? Check. Working with a therapist? Obviously.

But if you’re still single—and tired of pretending not to care—this episode is for you.

Ashtyn and I unpack the disconnect between being successful in life and why that doesn’t always translate to success in love.

We break down:

• How high-achieving habits can create unexpected barriers in dating.
• How high standards can get in the way of emotional availability.
• What it really means to be a “catch”—beyond the résumé.

Whether you’re dating, healing, or just trying to make sense of why love feels so elusive, this conversation will give you the clarity you didn’t know you needed.

Because the goal isn’t to look like a catch.

It’s to become one.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

Mindful Care

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.