Holiday weeks always make me feel nostalgic, and that feeling tends to make me reflect on people who used to be in my life but no longer are… That’s why, this week, we’re re-releasing our most popular episode of all time—on family estrangement.

Clearly, this topic resonates. So many of us live in the tension between missing someone we’ve cut off, and fearing that reconciliation would just reopen the same wounds that caused the break in the first place. If that’s you, I hope this episode gives you some clarity—and a little bit of peace.

The threads that bind us to our families have begun to feel optional in recent years. 

And in our culture of social media — where anyone with a phone can proclaim themselves to be an expert on subjects that they have no training or qualifications in — influencers are everywhere, some of them encouraging followers to end what they deem to be toxic relationships, or to break unhealthy cycles, or to rethink the obligation of being in our closest relationships. 

I am a fan of healthy relationships. And when they become exploitive, manipulative or harmful, I am OK with someone making the decision to exit the relationship — even when it’s with a family member. 

I am truly torn when it comes to family estrangement. I know first hand the wounds that come from being in a painful relationship. I understand why someone would make the decision to step away. And as a therapist and a human being, I’ve seen the cost people pay when they lose their tribe. 

Joining me in this discussion is Dr. Joshua Coleman, author of the book Rules of Estrangement. Dr. Coleman is a psychologist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area, and he has carved out a specialty in family estrangement. 

In this episode you’ll learn:

• The #1 cause of family estrangement.  
• How well-meaning friends and family tend to exacerbate estrangement. 
• The biggest mistakes people make when they’re trying to reconcile. 

AND… Dr. Coleman gives us his greatest tool for those who want to bridge the gap between themself and a loved one they’re cut off from. 

REFERENCES

www.alterntivescounseling.com

Is Cutting Off Your Family Good Therapy?

Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties & How to Heal the Conflict

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani. 

 DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

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Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I’ve worked with so many smart, successful people who keep finding themselves in relationships that just don’t work. They’re self-aware, they’ve done the therapy, and on paper, they’re a catch. So why do they keep picking partners who can’t meet them where they are?

In this episode, I’m joined by psychologist and “Love & Life” podcast host Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell to talk about why high-functioning people so often end up in low-quality relationships—and what to do about it.

We’re breaking down:

• Why emotionally intelligent people sometimes ignore red flags.
• The role fantasy and projection play in choosing the wrong partners.
• How to tell the difference between chemistry and compatibility.
• What “dating at your level” really looks like.
• How to stop mistaking potential for actual partnership.

If you’ve ever thought, “Maybe I’m the common denominator,” this conversation is for you. Because sometimes, you’re not the problem—you’re just dating one.

🎧 Hit play. Let’s talk about it.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

Stat on DSM

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cannabis is having a wellness moment. But is it a legitimate mental health tool—or just a new way to avoid our feelings?

Today’s users aren’t who they used to be. They’re CEOs. Athletes using it for sleep and recovery. People with anxiety trying to get off benzos. Moms who’d rather have an edible than drink three glasses of wine.

I’m joined today by Peter Barsoom, founder of 1906—a company making cannabis products designed to help people achieve specific states of mind. We talk about how low-dose, purpose-driven cannabis is becoming part of daily routines for people who never would’ve touched weed in the past.

We discuss:

• Whether cannabis can actually support mental health.
• What the research says about microdosing THC.
• Why so many people are replacing alcohol with cannabis.
• The line between emotional regulation and emotional avoidance.
• 
  

I also share my own experience with weed: how I used it early in life, how I’ve started experimenting with it again, and how I’ve pretty much stopped drinking this past year.

If you’ve ever wondered whether cannabis is helping you—or just numbing you—this conversation is for you.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

https://www.askdrdarcy.com/podcast-resources/

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In 2018, Judge Rosemarie Aquilina made headlines around the world by doing something radical in a courtroom: She listened. During the sentencing hearing for Larry Nassar—a doctor who sexually abused over 150 women and girls under the guise of medical treatment—she operated her courtroom with a level of sensitivity and sophistication that we rarely see outside of a therapist’s office, giving each survivor the opportunity to speak, validating their pain and allowing their stories to be heard in a system that so often silences them.

In this episode, I sit down with Judge Aquilina to talk about trauma, justice, and what happens when survivors are finally believed. We explore the emotional toll of reporting sexual abuse, the institutional failures that allowed Nassar’s abuse to continue for decades, and how one judge’s empathy became a turning point in the #MeToo movement.

⚠️ Content warning: This episode contains explicit discussions of sexual abuse and trauma, including the crimes committed by Larry Nassar. Please listen with care.

Topics we cover:

• Why so many survivors of sexual assault stay silent.
• How institutions fail to protect victims—and protect abusers instead.
• The power of being believed and heard in a courtroom.
• Judge Aquilina’s unique role in a landmark case—and how she holds space for survivor healing.
• What justice can look like when it centers empathy and accountability.

If you or someone you know is a survivor of sexual violence, support is available. Visit RAINN.org or call 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.AlternativesCounseling.com

Darcy’s Hair: TheHairPlayStudio.com

Just Watch Me

Speak Up: Lessons in Trusting Your Instincts

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

Twitter:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We talk a lot about rebuilding emotional trust after infidelity. But what happens when it’s time to rebuild sexual trust—the kind that requires you to feel safe enough to be vulnerable again in your body?

In this episode of We Need To Talk with Dr. Darcy Sterling, Dr. Darcy sits down with renowned sex therapist Dr. Emily Jamea to explore what couples often don’t anticipate: how hard it can be to reclaim desire after betrayal.

Together, they unpack the disconnect between forgiveness and physical intimacy, why the body doesn’t always follow the heart, and what it really takes to get the sex back after trust has been broken.

You’ll Learn:

• Why intimacy often triggers fear, resentment, or shame post-betrayal.
• What makes physical reconnection harder than emotional forgiveness.
• How to rebuild sexual trust after infidelity.
• 
  

AND… Dr. Emily and I both weigh in on how we’d respond to infidelity in our respective marriages. 

This is a great conversation — I highly recommend listening. 

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

Mindful Care

Anatomy of Desire: Five Secrets to Create Connection and Cultivate Passion

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Robyn Jaenchen, and Ines Gout.

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Everything You’ve Been Taught About Intimacy Is Wrong

Today’s episode is one I couldn’t wait to bring back. It’s a listener favorite that’s just as powerful now as when it first aired. If you missed it the first time, you’re in for something special — and if you didn’t, you’ll get even more out of it this time:

Everything you thought you knew about intimacy? Michaela Boehm is here to challenge it.

Michaela Boehm is a renowned intimacy expert and celebrity relationship coach whose unconventional approach flips traditional relationship advice on its head.

In this episode, we reveal:

• Why date nights can backfire on your romantic connection.
• How casual touch may be dulling your sexual chemistry over time.
• Why fading attraction can actually be a sign of relationship growth.

If you’re looking for practical intimacy tips and a fresh perspective on love, sex, and relationships, this is a must-listen.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

Mindful Care

The Wild Woman's Way: Reconnect to Your Body's Wisdom (A Woman's Guide to Spiritual Growth)

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Preston Smith. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I’m a Catch. So Why Am I Still Single?

These days, “being a catch” has become its own kind of identity. 

Career? On point. Emotional intelligence? Check. Working with a therapist? Obviously.

But if you’re still single—and tired of pretending not to care—this episode is for you.

Ashtyn and I unpack the disconnect between being successful in life and why that doesn’t always translate to success in love.

We break down:

• How high-achieving habits can create unexpected barriers in dating.
• How high standards can get in the way of emotional availability.
• What it really means to be a “catch”—beyond the résumé.

Whether you’re dating, healing, or just trying to make sense of why love feels so elusive, this conversation will give you the clarity you didn’t know you needed.

Because the goal isn’t to look like a catch.

It’s to become one.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

Mindful Care

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all have a “type”—but what if your type is actually the problem?

In this solo episode, I break down how the people we’re most drawn to often reflect the dynamics we grew up with—even when those dynamics were painful or unhealthy. From the brooding artist to the charming extrovert who leaves you craving more, our attraction isn’t always about compatibility—it’s about familiarity.

You’ll learn:

• Why your nervous system might be confusing love with chaos.
• How childhood experiences shape your attraction blueprint.
• What it takes to break toxic dating patterns without giving up on passion.
• And how to stop chasing the highs and start building something real.

Whether you’re single or in a relationship that keeps feeling like a roller coaster, this episode will give you the clarity—and the tools—you need to finally break the cycle.

If you listen to 1 podcast this month, THIS IS IT. 

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

MindfulCare

https://alternativescounseling.lpages.co/connecting-the-dots/

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most of us think we’d know how to help if someone we loved was struggling with their mental health.

But here’s the truth: Mental health crises rarely look the way we expect. They don’t come with warning sirens or dramatic breakdowns. They come with canceled plans. Short texts. “I’m just tired.” A fake smile and a quick change of subject.

In this episode of We Need to Talk, I sat down with Dr. Joseph Donnelly and Elena Saldutti—two experts in Mental Health First Aid—to talk about the signs we miss, the instincts we get wrong, and the simple ways we can all learn to show up better for the people we love.

Whether you’ve been on the receiving end of well-meaning but misguided support—or you’ve stayed silent, unsure of what to say—this will change the way you think about helping someone in crisis.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why most of us hesitate to speak up (and how to get past that fear).
• How to recognize the early signs of emotional distress.
• What not to say to someone who’s struggling.
• How Mental Health First Aid works—and why it’s as essential as CPR.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES / RESOURCES

Mental Health First Aid: mentalhealthfirstaid.org

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Dial 988

Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

Mental Health First Aid Citation

Bridging the Gap: Empowering Teachers and Supporting Students with Mental Health First Aid.

Social Emotional Learning Citation

Enhancing Health Education: The Role of Social Emotional Learning in PreK-12 Students' Well-being.

Social Media Citation

Public Health Implications of Social Media on Adolescent Health Behaviors: Upstream Approaches to Prevention Strategies.

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most people are going to want to skip this episode.

I get it—grief is uncomfortable. It’s messy. It brings up stuff we’d rather avoid.

But if you want to develop strong relationship skills—if you want to be the kind of person who shows up when it matters—this is mandatory listening.

We don’t talk about grief until we have to. And even then, most of us don’t know what to do. Do we check in? Give space? Bring up the loss—or avoid it altogether?

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor, author of The Grieving Brain and The Grieving Body. She’s one of the world’s leading grief researchers, and she’s here to help us understand what actually helps when someone we love is hurting.

We talk about what grief does to the brain and body, why so many of us disappear during someone else’s grief, and how to show up better—even when you don’t know what to say.

This conversation might challenge you—but it’ll make you a better partner, friend, and human. 

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

Mindful Care

Finding The Words Colin Campbell

The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss

The Grieving Body: How the Stress of Loss Can Be an Opportunity for Healing

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robin Jaenchen.

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling  

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.