I’m a Catch. So Why Am I Still Single?

These days, “being a catch” has become its own kind of identity. 

Career? On point. Emotional intelligence? Check. Working with a therapist? Obviously.

But if you’re still single—and tired of pretending not to care—this episode is for you.

Ashtyn and I unpack the disconnect between being successful in life and why that doesn’t always translate to success in love.

We break down:

• How high-achieving habits can create unexpected barriers in dating.
• How high standards can get in the way of emotional availability.
• What it really means to be a “catch”—beyond the résumé.

Whether you’re dating, healing, or just trying to make sense of why love feels so elusive, this conversation will give you the clarity you didn’t know you needed.

Because the goal isn’t to look like a catch.

It’s to become one.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

Mindful Care

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

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YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

We all have a “type”—but what if your type is actually the problem?

In this solo episode, I break down how the people we’re most drawn to often reflect the dynamics we grew up with—even when those dynamics were painful or unhealthy. From the brooding artist to the charming extrovert who leaves you craving more, our attraction isn’t always about compatibility—it’s about familiarity.

You’ll learn:

• Why your nervous system might be confusing love with chaos.
• How childhood experiences shape your attraction blueprint.
• What it takes to break toxic dating patterns without giving up on passion.
• And how to stop chasing the highs and start building something real.

Whether you’re single or in a relationship that keeps feeling like a roller coaster, this episode will give you the clarity—and the tools—you need to finally break the cycle.

If you listen to 1 podcast this month, THIS IS IT. 

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

MindfulCare

https://alternativescounseling.lpages.co/connecting-the-dots/

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Most of us think we’d know how to help if someone we loved was struggling with their mental health.

But here’s the truth: Mental health crises rarely look the way we expect. They don’t come with warning sirens or dramatic breakdowns. They come with canceled plans. Short texts. “I’m just tired.” A fake smile and a quick change of subject.

In this episode of We Need to Talk, I sat down with Dr. Joseph Donnelly and Elena Saldutti—two experts in Mental Health First Aid—to talk about the signs we miss, the instincts we get wrong, and the simple ways we can all learn to show up better for the people we love.

Whether you’ve been on the receiving end of well-meaning but misguided support—or you’ve stayed silent, unsure of what to say—this will change the way you think about helping someone in crisis.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why most of us hesitate to speak up (and how to get past that fear).
• How to recognize the early signs of emotional distress.
• What not to say to someone who’s struggling.
• How Mental Health First Aid works—and why it’s as essential as CPR.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES / RESOURCES

Mental Health First Aid: mentalhealthfirstaid.org

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Dial 988

Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

Mental Health First Aid Citation

Bridging the Gap: Empowering Teachers and Supporting Students with Mental Health First Aid.

Social Emotional Learning Citation

Enhancing Health Education: The Role of Social Emotional Learning in PreK-12 Students' Well-being.

Social Media Citation

Public Health Implications of Social Media on Adolescent Health Behaviors: Upstream Approaches to Prevention Strategies.

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Most people are going to want to skip this episode.

I get it—grief is uncomfortable. It’s messy. It brings up stuff we’d rather avoid.

But if you want to develop strong relationship skills—if you want to be the kind of person who shows up when it matters—this is mandatory listening.

We don’t talk about grief until we have to. And even then, most of us don’t know what to do. Do we check in? Give space? Bring up the loss—or avoid it altogether?

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor, author of The Grieving Brain and The Grieving Body. She’s one of the world’s leading grief researchers, and she’s here to help us understand what actually helps when someone we love is hurting.

We talk about what grief does to the brain and body, why so many of us disappear during someone else’s grief, and how to show up better—even when you don’t know what to say.

This conversation might challenge you—but it’ll make you a better partner, friend, and human. 

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

Mindful Care

Finding The Words Colin Campbell

The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss

The Grieving Body: How the Stress of Loss Can Be an Opportunity for Healing

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robin Jaenchen.

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling  

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Trying to find the right therapist can feel like a job—especially when every Psychology Today bio starts sounding the same. And in a world where therapists market themselves on Instagram, it’s harder than ever to tell who’s actually good… and who just has a good aesthetic.

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Sarah Coe-Odess—a licensed clinical psychologist and therapist-matching expert—to break down the most common mistakes people make when choosing a therapist. From red flags to look out for, to how to find affordable options that actually help, this conversation gives you the tools you need to stop guessing and start healing.

Whether you're starting therapy for the first time or wondering if it's time to move on from your current therapist, this episode will help you make the right call.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The biggest mistakes people make when choosing a therapist.
• How to tell the difference between productive discomfort in therapy vs. actual harm.
• Red flags in therapist bios, social media, and first sessions.
• How to find high-quality therapy when you’re dealing with budget constraints or bad insurance.

Xxoo Darcy

RESOURCES

https://www.instagram.com/the_sarahpist/

https://sarahpist.com/#contact

https://form.typeform.com/to/Smv62wG3

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

In today’s world, sharing an opinion can feel like stepping onto a battlefield. We fear being judged, misunderstood, or canceled—so we stay silent. Or worse, we speak at each other instead of with each other. But real connection isn’t about having the perfect words. It’s about showing up with curiosity, intention, and presence—even when it’s uncomfortable.

In this powerful conversation, I’m joined by legendary therapists and relationship experts Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, creators of Imago Therapy and authors of the new book How to Talk With Anyone About Anything. We unpack the deeper purpose of conversation, how to reconnect during moments of conflict, and why our differences might actually be the gateway to deeper intimacy.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why differences don’t mean you’re incompatible—and how they can lead to greater intimacy.
• The #1 most effective tool to stay grounded and present in uncomfortable conversations.
• The one thing that must be present in every relationship if you want it to be healthy.

PLUS: I bring Harville one of my most triggering real-life scenarios—and ask him to walk me through it. And he does not disappoint. 

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

• Mindful Care
• Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples: Third Edition
• How to Talk with Anyone about Anything: The Practice of Safe Conversations
• Keeping the Love You Find: A Personal Guide
• Doing Imago Relationship Therapy in the Space-Between: A Clinician's Guide
• The Space Between: The Point of Connection
• Making Marriage Simple: Ten Relationship-Saving Truths

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling 

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Do you keep ending up with the same type of partner—different face, same red flags?

Are your relationships lopsided—with one of you craving emotional intimacy, and the other can’t (or won’t) go there?

Do you find yourself thinking, “Why does this keep happening to me?”

If so, this episode is for you.

At some point, we all have to stop pointing fingers and ask the harder question: What’s my role in this?

Not to take all the blame. Not to spiral into shame.

But because real change in your love life starts with the one thing you can control—you.

This week, Ashtyn’s back—and I’m the one in the hot seat, answering the questions.

If you’re brave enough to look in the mirror, I promise to be right there with you, making it okay (and even a little bit funny).

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The most common reason people fail to see their part in relationship patterns.
• The key questions to ask yourself when your relationships feel like déjà vu.
• What to do when you realize you are contributing to the problem.
• 
  

This episode is packed with humor, honesty, and our own stories—so you don’t have to feel alone while doing the work. You can be the hero in your own love story. 

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

Mindful Care

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani. 

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Anxiety is the most common mental health issue in the U.S., affecting over 40 million adults each year. And yet, despite how familiar it is, we still get so much wrong about it.

We’re taught to treat anxiety like something to conquer, suppress, or “fix.” But what if that mindset is actually making things worse?

If you've ever spiraled over a future that hasn’t happened—or replayed a conversation on loop, dissecting every word you said—this episode is for you.

Joining me is licensed therapist Alison Seponara, creator of The Anxiety Healer, and one of Instagram’s most trusted voices on mental health. Together, we unpack what anxiety really is, why it’s so hard to manage, and how to stop unintentionally feeding the very thing we’re trying to escape.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• The one anxiety tool no one’s talking about—but everyone should be using
• Why you actually don’t want to get rid of your anxiety completely
• How early life experiences can shape our relationship with anxiety
• A personal story from Alison about the well-intentioned act that triggered her worst panic attack

If anxiety is part of your story, this episode is a must.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

Mindful Care

TheAnxietyHealer.com

The Anxiety Healer's Guide: Coping Strategies and Mindfulness Techniques to Calm the Mind and Body

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani. 

 DISCLAIMER

#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice #MentalHealthAwareness #AnxietySupport #MentalHealthMatters #EmotionalWellness #MentalHealthEducation #AnxietyTools

#AnxietyHelp #AnxietyRelief #HealingAnxiety #AnxietyRecovery #RelationshipExperts #RelationshipIssues #RelationshipHelp #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling

#DrDarcy #HighFunctioningAnxiety #AnxiousMind #TheAnxietyHealer #AlisonSeponara

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

What if you could train your brain to work with you—not against you?

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Jeff Karp, one of the world’s leading biotech researchers and a professor at both Harvard Medical School and MIT. His lab runs more like a think tank, focused on unlocking human potential through creativity, innovation, and intentional living.

As someone with severe (but well-managed) ADHD, I’ve spent my life chasing ways to improve my focus, boost my productivity, and become high-functioning. This conversation is packed with tools that genuinely shifted how I think, how I work, and how I show up in the world.

You’ll learn:

• How to harness the power of your mind.
• Why failure is a powerful gateway to success.
• Practical strategies to sharpen your focus and fuel your creativity.

By the end, you’ll have a toolkit to manage overwhelm, reduce self-doubt, and unlock your brain’s potential.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

Mindful Care

www.jeffkarp.com

LIT: Life Ignition Tools: Use Nature's Playbook to Energize Your Brain, Spark Ideas, and Ignite Action

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani. 

DISCLAIMER

#RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipAdvice #RelationshipIssues #RelationshipHelp #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy #ModernRomance #ModernLove

#MillennialLife #Neuroscience #BrainHealth #CognitiveScience #DrJeffKarp #DoctorJeffKarp #JeffKarp #JeffKarpInterview #JeffKarpPodcast #JeffKarpHarvard #ADHDTips #ADHDAwareness #FocusHacks #ProductivityTools

Instagram:@drdarcysterling 

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube. 

Ever find yourself replaying a conversation in your head—over and over—only to avoid it altogether? Maybe you want to tell a friend they hurt your feelings. Or ask for a raise. Or bring up that thing your partner said that’s still bothering you.

We all do it. But why? Why do we avoid conversations that could actually improve our relationships—and our lives?

Most of us dodge these talks because we fear conflict or don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. But avoiding the conversation doesn’t make the discomfort go away. It causes it to fester.

Today, I’m joined by someone who knows this terrain professionally and personally—my wife, Steph Sterling, LCSW. She also happens to be the most talented couples therapist I know.

In this episode, we unpack:

• How to tell if you’re avoiding a conversation out of fear or just waiting for the right time.
• The biggest mistakes people make when they finally speak up.
• How to navigate tough talks in a way that brings you closer together instead of pulling you apart (step-by-step).

Plus… Steph shares some stories about our own struggles that just might surprise you.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani. 

DISCLAIMER

#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice #RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #LoveLanguage #RelationshipIssues #RelationshipHelp #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy #ModernRomance #ModernLove #MillennialLife

Instagram:@drdarcysterling

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  

X:@DrDarcySterling   

YouTube:@DarcySterling   

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.