Ask Kati Anything

By Kati Morton, LMFTSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement Relationships

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Ask Kati Anything episodes

January 18, 2024 What They Don't Tell You About Bipolar Disorder and Hospitalizations... | ep. 199 with Gabe Howard
Today Kati interviews Gabe Howard! He is a mental health advocate, speaker, and host of the inside bipolar podcast. They discuss bipolar disorder, being hospitalized for our mental illness, and the symptoms of bipolar disorder no one wants to talk about. They have an honest conversation about treatment options, managing symptoms, and breaking down that mental health stigma.

AUDIENCE QUESTIONS
1. Hello, I have bipolar 2 and was wondering if he ever felt like he had a "breakthrough" in his bipolar disorder. Not necessarily a manic episode, but a true moment of "oh....I CAN live life like this and it CAN be enjoyable". I recently had this and it's been life changing for me. I look at every day I'm alive so differently now.
2. Hi Gabe, have you gone into the hospital voluntarily or not? Are you allowed to leave when you want or do the doctors get to decide how long to keep you? Has being in the hospital been helpful or has it been more helpful to stay outpatient?Checkout Kati on Gabe's Podcast: https://megaphone.link/RVOHE7584755428

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1 hr 12 min
January 11, 2024Loneliness, Anger, Endings, & More | ep.198
This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about loneliness and why we can still feel lonely even after spending time with those we love. She also explains why we can struggle to express upset to those who hurt us, and almost prefer to turn it in on ourselves. Then Kati offers some ideas on how to better deal with goodbyes and endings, and times of year when more people reach out for help. She digs into ways we can love people who are hurtful to us from a distance, ECT treatment and its effects, and feelings of abandonment in our relationships.

Ask Kati Anything episode 198 audience questions:
Loneliness - mine isn’t the ‘simply be around like-minded people’ type. It’s this deep feeling - not always dark, but when it gets dark, it really feels awful, quite dangerous as well. Can you please talk about types of loneliness? Because in trying to talk about my loneliness, I often find myself in a lonelier spot....

When I get upset with someone else, I tend to feel the urge to punish myself for being upset rather than holding them accountable. Why is this happening? It’s totally destroying my mental health and relationships.

I'm looking for some tips on how I can better cope with goodbyes and endings. It's almost unreal how upset I get, even when something doesn't really mean that much to me. A co-worker I'm not even close to can retire, or a neighbor I rarely talk to can move, and it devastates me. Or a restaurant can close, or a TV show can end, and I feel sad and anxious at the thought of something being "over"...

Hi Kati! I was wondering as a therapist, if there are certain times of year that you tend to get more patients. I imagine that with health insurance deductibles resetting January 1, that many people would either start therapy or stop therapy around New Years. I also wonder if seasonal depression plays a role in this. Just curious, thanks!

Can you talk about ”loving at a distance” when one has to get away from their toxic home or parents, but still loves them and that it is possible to set boundaries and have one's own life without them in a healthy way?

I’ve been suffering from depression for quite some time and have tried many different kinds of treatments. I started doing ECT about 2 years ago and am currently on maintenance. I am embarrassed to admit it, but if I am honest with myself, I’ve kept going for a while largely for the anesthesia. I might also have developed an attachment to the care that I get as I am being prepped for the treatment.

I really struggle a lot with feeling a sense of abandonment when I'm (impatiently) waiting for a response to a text from a friend, or when I don't hear from them for a while, I automatically think the worst has happened!! For context, I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD, along with anxiety, depression & I strongly suspect CPTSD as well. Sometimes distraction or "radical acceptance" works (I have done some CBT therapy already), but not always. Any suggestions Kati?
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50 min
January 04, 2024Grieving Unlived Lives & Finding Hope: Ask Kati Anything Ep. 197
This episode of Ask Kati Anything tackles the bittersweet realities of unfulfilled expectations and lost dreams. Grieving the life you thought you’d have, parentification, emotional incest and spoucification. We also discuss why we can crave attention from people and hope that they see how badly we are doing. Then we dive into my thoughts on mental health care workers struggling with their own mental health issues, and why we can struggle to share anything with our parents. Finally, Kati offers ways to be more excited and hopeful for the future. Join Kati Morton in this empathetic and insightful episode as she guides us through navigating complex emotions, reclaiming lost selves, and ultimately finding hope amidst unlived lives.
Audience questions:
How to grieve the life you thought you'd have. i.e not having children, 40 and single/never married...

Could you please talk a bit about parentification? I believe that it can be the root of many problems and I can't find that much about it. I feel like I was raised as...

Is it "normal " that I constantly crave attention from some people (my favorite friend, therapist, doctors...), and that I wished that they could see how bad I'm doing (eating disorder).

Hi Kati! Would love to hear your take on mental health care workers who also struggle with their mental health. I volunteer for a suïcide hotline, work as a mental health professional and struggle with my own mental health. For example ptsd and depression. It seems that a lot of mental health professionals have struggled or...

Dear Kati, My parents are nice to me. However, I never feel comfortable telling my parents anything, I've become a very private person, I crave affection, but for some reason I don't feel comfortable receiving it from my parents. I also always feel distanced from them, and for some reason I never let them see me upset, or support me. I keep pushing them away even though

How can I feel excited and hopeful about my future? I am someone who lives and looks into the past a lot. A friend suggested that it could be that way because somewhere I don't feel excited about my future which is why I feel maybe all the excitement was...
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Traumatized
Are u ok?
ONLINE THERAPY
While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati
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1 hr 2 min
December 28, 2023 Depression, Family Drama, Suicidal Thoughts | ep.196
This week Kati talks about dealing with depression and family obligations, how to deal with having past suicidal thoughts on your permanent record, and how to deal when going home causes us to revert back to an old version of ourselves. She also explains why anxiety can cause us to regress to a younger age, why positive emotions can be hard to accept and process, and how emotional neglect can affect us as we get older.
Ask Kati Anything ep. 196 audience questions:
1. I’m a 25 year old male and a HSP. I’ve been struggling with depression the last 3 years of Uni. As much as I would like to continue my studies, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to focus on anything. Despite my best efforts to concentrate on schoolwork, I experience mental blocks that persistently cloud my mind. I’ve talked with the school therapist without much progress...2. Hi Kati, I have had “suicidal ideation” in my permanent chart since last year. I also have “chronic suicidality” written in there. I’m also on 6 psych meds just for MDD and anxiety. When I see new doctors, I’m worried they will not listen to my concerns about anything for the rest of my life due to my chart containing so much negative information. I still have suicidal ideation but not like that specific day I was hospitalized. This is the one reason I find having labels and a “current health issues” list so frustrating. What can I do to prevent doctors from writing me off?3. I'm heading home from college soon for break, and I'm so not ready. It's like my family members are completely different people, and in a way my entire house feels like a weird alternate reality with strangers in it. I know this probably sounds dramatic because these people are my family and I have lived with them in that house for almost my entire life...4. Is it normal to age regress during panic attacks or would this be something else? It’s hard to explain but I’ve been having what feel like panic attacks but I come out of it feeling and acting like a small child, seeking comfort from things like blankets and stuffed animals. This makes it feel more like a flashback but nothing during it would suggest that. 5. I was wondering why it is so hard for me to accept and process positive emotions. Last week was my birthday and my students were super excited and most brought a picture, handmade card, flowers, small gifts. My fellow teachers and staff were super nice and I was super uncomfortable with all that attention. Wanted to happy cry, but couldn't cry. Also I have had people come observe me multiple times and leave positive compliments and just can't accept that what they wrote is true. Am I the only one who suffers from this?6. I grew up with parents who never comforted me as a child. There is not one memory I can recall where my parents held me or even just asked me how I was doing. As a 30 year old woman now, sympathy is nauseating to me. It physically feels like my skin crawls whenever someone expresses sympathy towards me. Even last year, when I experienced a pregnancy loss. Are these two things related? JOINING MY CHANNEL MEMBERSHIPS https://www.youtube.com/@Katimorton/membership
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MY BOOKS (in stores now)
Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy
ONLINE THERAPY
While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati
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44 min
December 21, 2023"Do I have an underdeveloped sense of self?" ep.195
This week licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses what it means to have an underdeveloped sense of self, why we can stop crying when we are struggling with suicidal thoughts, and why certain diagnoses can can frequently co occur together. Kati also discusses TBI’s and other head injuries and the effects that can have on our mental health. She then talks about being a mental health professional and having our own issues, and why therapists leave room for silence in sessions.

AUDIENCE QUESTIONS for Ask Kati Anything episode 195
I often see “an underdeveloped sense of self” on symptom lists for mental illnesses, but I’ve never really seen a comprehensive description of what a fully developed sense of self looks like. How do you recognize when someone’s sense of self is underdeveloped?

I am struggling with constant suicidal ideation and when I talk about it to my therapist or psychiatrist, I don’t cry when I say the hard stuff and I’m afraid it is painting the narrative that I am lying about it. But the truth is that in the past whenever I would cry, I wouldn’t get help. Also with this being constant for over 2 years, my therapist is expressing that she is beginning to feel helpless which makes me feel so bad and like a burden. What are your thoughts?

I was wondering if you could explain why certain diagnoses can commonly be coexisting. Like why is having an ED and ocd seen together often? I'm in the trenches right now with both and GAD, and they feed into each-other and are so tightly intertwined, that even the idea of sorting them out is exhausting. At this point it feels like the "what came first, the chicken or the egg?" question and I find myself just going through the cycle of trying to attach the behavior to the correct diagnosis...

I suffered a head injury about 6 months ago and have struggled with feeling depressed adjusting to my new way of life (not ‘smart’ anymore, can’t work full time, not able to participate in hobbies etc). For context I had anxiety before the injury and was apparently struggling a lot with this (I can’t remember the last couple of years). I’m struggling feeling anxious about being ‘stuck’ like this forever. I’m UK based and am receiving basic CBT...

Right now I'm in my internship of counseling. I feel like I'm a fake and a failure. I personally struggle with anxiety and what I believe is ptsd. But my therapist recently changed it so it's not ptsd. I struggle with my parents divorce and dealing with a lot of emotions and anger towards my dad. Currently all of my clients that I'm getting are all struggling with similar issues..

Hi Kati, I have a new therapist. Been seeing her for almost two months. During our session I talk about something and when I'm done she just sits there in silence looking at me. It drives me crazy...
MY BOOKS
⁠Traumatized⁠
⁠Are u ok?⁠
⁠ONLINE THERAPY⁠
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53 min
December 14, 2023 "Ruminating or Overthinking?" ep.194
This week Licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses what to do when our medication numbs out our feelings. She also explains why therapists disclose certain information and when that’s inappropriate. Then she digs into the difference between rumination and over thinking, why we have to grieve something we never had, and why we can close our eyes in therapy. Finally, she talks about dating with a mental illness and why DBT can be so confusing.

Questions for Ask Kati Anything episode 194:
1. I have been diagnosed with BPD, Bipolar II, CPTSD and anxiety. I recently stopped taking my mood stabilizer because it numbs my feelings. I just started EMDR with my therapist and she indicated that I should probably go back on the mood stabilizer because my feelings are so intense and out of control. My thinking is that if I numb my feelings then the EMDR won't work.
2. In my last therapy session my therapist told me she recently had a client commit suicide. She disclosed that info to say that she wasn't fully present so we were only going to be checking in before the holiday. That was ok, but I feel really really bad for her. That can't be easy. I felt like I should say something to her, but I didn't know what to say. From a therapist's perspective, is there anything I can do or say to her?
3. I am so thankful for your videos and how you break things down in a simplified form. I'm hoping you can do this for my question. Could you please explain the difference between RUMINATING VS OVER THINKING? I've been an over thinker as far back as I can remember. It's both a blessing and a curse! I can create detailed stories in my mind and play them out, much like others watching TV. Mostly, I find I over think on conflict as I will replay the scene on repeat.
4. How can I live with the grief that certain times in my life will never come back, especially when these are times of childhood which could have been joyful or lighthearted and instead were deeply affected by trauma? How do we heal wounds of "missing" something that we can never bring back because of the time that is gone?
5. Just wondering why I shut my eyes in therapy and whether you have witnessed this in therapy? I notice when therapy gets too much or hard I close my eyes and can't seem to stop myself doing this no matter how much I try. Am I just weird and how do I stop this? Any advice? Thanks Kati
6. I met my girlfriend on an ED ward. I'm out and doing well but she's still there and struggling. Do you think our relationship can work? I really love her. Xx7. I’ve been doing DBT in therapy and it’s getting confusing. How do I tell my therapist that I’m confused by it all and how do I know it’s working, can u please answer?

MY BOOKS
⁠Traumatized⁠
⁠Are u ok?⁠
⁠ONLINE THERAPY⁠
While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit:
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PLEASE READ
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35 min
December 07, 2023 "Is it burnout or depression?" ep.193
This week licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses why we can overly attach to teachers, how to know if our burnout is turning into depression, and how to get through trauma processing without using unhealthy coping skills. Kati then explains why we can sometimes want to keep our eating disorders, why OCD squashes our insight, and how to sleep when struggling with PTSD.
Ask Kati Anything- your mental health podcast, episode 193
1. I think I overly-attach to my teachers who also happen to be my research advisors. I really wish they could be my moms, I constantly seek their validation and approval. I want to make them feel proud of me. You get the idea. How can I become more aware of this? How can I stop trying to fill my parents' void by pushing other people into it?
2. How do I know if what I'm feeling is more related to burnout or is entering into the realm of depression? I am not necessarily sad all the time but am at a point where I am just down and don't really have any interest in doing things anymore because I feel I have no energy or motivation, which I know sounds a lot like depression...
3. I just started reprocessing trauma with my wonderful therapist. My problem is that with just one session of this, I have become unraveled. My emotions are so intense that I am wanting to cope in unhealthy ways such as cutting which I haven't done in a long time and having suicidal thought of which I have attempted before and am angry that I lived...
4. My question is what if I want to keep my eating disorder? What if the pros to keep it far more than the pros to lose it. It helps with my c-ptsd symptoms and even though I do not, not, not see it it keeps me small. Like being underweight gets me closer to being invisible, it helps me hide, I can hide in more places, and it’s comforting(??)...
5. My question is about OCD and insight. I have a diagnosis of OCD but sometimes I don’t actually think I have it at all. There are rooms in my house that I cannot use because they are contaminated and I can’t get them to be uncontaminated no matter how hard I try. The person that lived here before me was a heavy smoker and the place was coated in nicotine to the point that it was ingrained in all the woodwork and silicone round windows etc...
6. I can’t sleep. I don’t want to close my eyes. I have panic attacks if I am woken during the night. I can’t stop and relax at all and I find myself doom scrolling social media until I am absolutely exhausted. I know I shouldn’t be on my phone before going to sleep. When I was a little girl my bedroom was not safe. I don’t feel safe. I feel like I’m trying desperately to avoid having to stop. Keeping busy gives my mind something else to focus on. I’ve tried melatonin but that just makes me feel awful and like I’m hungover the next day. It doesn’t help sleep anyway. I’ve tried changing my room around to make it different and I have a night light so when I awake through the night I can quickly identify my surroundings. I feel so embarrassed that I have to have a night light in my 40s. Do you have any suggestions to help with sleep when it doesn’t feel safe?
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MY BOOKS
⁠Traumatized⁠
⁠Are u ok?⁠
⁠ONLINE THERAPY⁠
While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit:
⁠PATREON⁠

SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING HERE
I⁠nstacart⁠⁠Amazon⁠
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PLEASE READ
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

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45 min
December 06, 2023 "Why cant I cry anymore?" ep. 190
This week on Ask Kati Anything, Kati talks about why we can’t cry sometimes, and how on the day of therapy we can actually feel better and not share what’s really going on with us. Then she explains how therapists read the room, and how we can all deal with disappointment and frustration. Finally she discusses ways that we can support a friend who recently attempted to take their own life.
Audience questions:
1. When I started therapy, I cried a lot in session because it was just so overwhelming to talk and think about my emotions and things I’ve been through. I had never talked to a therapist before so I would just cry out of overwhelm. I’ve been working with my therapist for almost 6 months now and I’m hitting a block where I can’t cry in session. We are talking about trauma from high school and I can run through the whole story without crying. Even my therapist cried. Why can’t I feel this emotion? Is it because it was so long ago? I feel weird not having an emotional response.
2. So I have an issue with therapy. All week I am on an emotional roller coaster. When therapy day comes, I wake up completely put together- like nothing is wrong and I am completely centered. As soon as I leave my appointment I get so upset for not sharing how I'm really doing. I have told my therapist about this, and he told me to write things down throughout the week as they come up and bring it with me. I wrote them down but can't seem to hand it over. I am processing a trauma, and I think I'm stuck due to extreme self-loathing and disgust. He said it's a defense mechanism, which to some extent is true.
3. I'm wondering if you could talk about how therapists "read the room" and "read minds"? How do you learn to analyze cues and signs the patient is presenting with and what if there are inconsistencies?
4. How can I deal with disappointment/ frustration and be more patient with myself? Every time a therapy session doesn’t go as I hoped and we don’t get to work on the trauma as we planned, for example because I dissociate or because we talk about something that came up during the week, after the session I’m always really desperate and hopeless and angry with myself, and also guilty because I feel like should be able to control my dissociation so it doesn’t get in the way so much. It just feels like wasting time and that scares me. My therapist always tells me that I shouldn’t put so much pressure on myself, and I’m sure she’s right, but I don’t know how.
5. My best friend is in hospital after a suicide attempt a few days ago. And I don’t know how to be around her now. My feelings jump around and change all the time. I am shocked, I’m sad that she was so desperate, I am scared to say something wrong that will push her over the edge and try again. I’m relieved that she is alive. I was so scared when she didn’t answer any calls, texts and her doorbell, after I saw the ambulance in front of her house. I’m angry with her, and I feel guilty for being angry. She planned it, and I felt that...
MY BOOKS
⁠⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠Are u ok?⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠ONLINE THERAPY⁠⁠⁠
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PLEASE READ
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42 min
December 06, 2023 "I feel like I'm never going to recover!" ep.191
This week on Ask Kati Anything, I will discuss feeling like we will never recover and how to get through it. I will also talk about body checking and how often a therapist should call out a client about it. Then I will explain why we can struggle to have fun and relax in life, and why we can feel stuck in a younger version of ourselves. I will dive into what effects being a child of rape can have on us, and why we can feel angry when therapy is ending.
1. I suffer from anxiety, depression, and CPTSD, and if I'm honest with myself, I've never felt like I'm going to recover - I've always felt that one day the things I struggle with will win, and I'll end things. I've been struggling a lot lately to do anything that isn't immediately required...
2. I'm wondering about the frequency that a therapist should be calling a client out for body checking behavior during session? When are times you ignore it vs bring it up? I'm currently in ED recovery and we have sessions where there's absolutely nothing said, but other days that are rapid fire, one after the other callouts. I'm still very stuck in some of the behaviors and don't realize I'm doing them when I get anxious...
3. I feel like I don’t know how to have fun and just relax. I’m so anxious and scared all of the time and I feel like everyday if not multiple times a day I hear horrible stories about shootings, killings, disease, war, fires, car accidents and so much more and I’m constantly so scared and feel so sad for all the people affected. I feel guilty for having minor issues when such bigger things are going on and I also feel so on edge that at any minute something bad is going to happen...
4. I was wondering if you could talk a little bit about being a child born out of rape. I'm sure there are quite a few of us out there, but no one ever talks about the impact this has on our lives. I think I've known my entire life that I was the product of a rape but it didn't click with me until I was in my late 30s. The more I think about it, the more uneasy I feel. Half of my DNA is from a monster. I feel disgusted. I am adopted, abandoned at birth, so there is no one I can ask about my biological parents. Has there been any research done on children born from rape?
5. I hope you're well. I have a question, why do I still feel like a young girl even though I'm already 51... I don't understand it, it is so confusing. I have CPTSD, does that have anything to do with it?
6. My therapist left her practice and I'll start therapy with a new therapist soon but I don't know if I'll be able to trust her and I feel very lost. Is there anything I can do to be open towards her? Also I ended the last session with being very angry at my therapist. And I don't know what to do with that anger. I feel like she just abandoned me and doesn't care. I can't even think about her without getting angry anymore. Why does that happen and what can I do to process these feelings? Because it almost feels like I hate her now and before I always felt very close to her.
MY BOOKS
⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠
⁠⁠Are u ok?⁠⁠
⁠⁠ONLINE THERAPY⁠⁠
While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist. Simply click HERE
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PLEASE READ
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

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36 min
November 30, 2023 "Can I minimize my symptoms so much I think I'm fine?" ep.192
Today I will talk about our urge to minimize our trauma symptoms and whether or not we can do that so much that we think we are fine. I will explain what causes us to be traumatized and why some people aren’t affected like we are. I will dive into the reasons we can feel like we are making up our mental illnesses, how to talk about sex with a therapist of the opposite sex, and ways we can cope with extreme anxiety and trauma. Finally, I will dive into ways to support our children with their anxiety without making our own worse.
Ask Kati Anything- your mental health podcast, episode 192
1. Is it possible to minimize trauma symptoms (without realizing) so much that you actually believe you're fine until your therapist says that this looks like something that is still bothering you? I always assumed I'm fine...
2. I was wondering if you could talk a bit about what can tip the scales from a person experiencing trauma to being "traumatized". Can we ever cause ourselves to be traumatized by our reaction to the trauma? When I was 8...
3. I was wondering why I always feel like I'm making up my mental disorder? No matter how hard I try to convince myself, I always go back into the same thought. I constantly spend hours searching up why I would feel this way, and no matter how much reassurance I get, it never helps this thought go away. I always end up thinking, "what if I'm just lying to myself" or "what if I've just convinced myself to believe my own lie" ...
4. I am a female with a male therapist. We are starting to talk about sex. I've had a few issues come up as an adult when I have been with men and I sometimes question if he has done similar things to women or to what extent he has been disrespectful...
5. I was wondering how you can cope with extreme anxiety and trauma in a healthy way. I am still at school and at this point I physically can't go into lessons. I don't know why, it's just like my brain won't let me, even if I want to. I try my best to, but there's just this really daunting, exhausting, anxiety provoking feeling whenever I think about it...
6. Can you talk about ways I could help myself when I am trying to stay calm and present when dealing with my child's anxiety but her anxiety is only deeply triggering my anxiety? How do I work through this? I need to help her in the moment but I struggle to not get triggered myself. Thanks for all your wonderful advice!

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MY BOOKS
⁠⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠Are u ok?⁠⁠⁠
⁠⁠⁠ONLINE THERAPY⁠⁠⁠
While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist. Simply click ⁠HERE

⁠⁠⁠⁠PATREON⁠⁠⁠ community

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48 min

About Ask Kati Anything

From the publisher's feed

Ask Kati Anything is a weekly mental health podcast where licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton, LMFT, takes deep dives into the complexities of human psychology, relationships, and emotional well-being.