Ask Kati Anything

On Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast episode 218, licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about negative self talk, the different ways people pleasing can show up in our lives, and how to connect what we rationally know with how we feel. She then discusses whether or not it’s okay to cuss in therapy, how to healthily lose weight when we have an eating disorder, and whether or not a therapist can be biased due to their speciality.

Audience Questions:

2. Can you explain people pleasing and the different ways it can show up? Is it always a pacifying coping mechanism? I find I get dysregulated when my husband is upset so I tend to do things to make him feel better so I feel okay again, any idea what that behavior could be and why?

3. How do I connect what I rationally know to what I feel? I know the "whys" behind my anxiety and know on a rational level that I shouldn't be anxious about it and know how to argue back and how to decrease the anxiety in the short term but nothing helps in the long term because no amount of "thinking" or fighting back against what my anxiety is...

4. I was wondering if it’s ever ok to swear in therapy? I was brought up to be polite and respectful so I watch my mouth in most situations of course this doesn’t mean I don’t swear I just know the company I can swear in vs The ones I can’t. In therapy we were talking about a past trauma and I have described the person before as someone I hate, not a nice person blah blah blah. I think my therapist noticed that I felt more strongly about this as she asked me if “you could describe him in a few words what would it be?”

5. I need to lose weight. It's not just my opinion, I do have excess weight. My health would benefit from losing weight. I'm pre-diabetic, my heart is not doing its best, also the more I weigh, the more my joints hurt. However, I've had every ED under the sun, including anorexia, and in the past I've managed to have a relapse while having a dietitian and therapist. And it turned into anorexia for a year, binge/purge for another year and now binging for the last half year. Every "diet" I've ever had turns into 2-3 years of suffering.

6. Can a mental health professional be biased by their specialization when making a diagnosis? I was diagnosed with BPD, but when I got a new therapist she said that BPD was a misdiagnosis and I got diagnosed with ASD. The first therapist was more familiar with BPD and the latter was specialized in ASD, and I’m wondering if they could have been biased due to their expertise. Is it difficult to tell apart BPD and ASD?

PUBLISHED BOOKS

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast episode 217 | This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about getting past inner resistance in therapy, how to keep going when we feel like giving up, and what a therapist would do if their client is intellectualizing everything. She then explains what a body memory is and why our trauma memories can be so spotty. Finally, she discusses anxiety about making phone calls, and why we can be so worried about every little thing we do, and believe that people are going to think we are weird.

Audience questions:

1. Could you possibly talk about getting past inner resistance in therapy? I’ve been in therapy for about 8 months and feel like we’ve done some amazing work, but have noticed I’m hitting some type of wall within myself that I’m not sure how to get past. It’s like I’ve kind of traveled through all the issues I’ve been conscious of, but now that we’re deeper in I’m realizing there’s a lot going on that I was not aware of... 01:14

2. Hi Kati. How do I keep going? I feel like giving up. I have Major Depressive Disorder. Suicidal thoughts and self injury consume me. I’ve done talk therapy, CBT, DBT, ACT, TMS, and ECT. Nothing has helped. I’ve been hospitalized twice. I’ve been on so many medications I can’t keep track anymore. I feel so alone in this. I do have a psychiatrist, therapist and loving family but they don’t understand... 09:54

3. I was wondering how a therapist would approach working with a client who intellectualizes everything? I find CBT and DBT unhelpful because everything my therapist is saying, while totally true, I've already known about and pieced together myself. I think that's also where I get so stuck with therapy- I KNOW there are these pieces out of place that aren't serving me. I KNOW why I am the way I am, but I don't know what to do about it? 24:54

4. I saw one of your older videos about people not remembering their trauma or remembering it in patches but I’m the opposite, I remember what happened to me in great detail even down to what I was wearing, what they were wearing the day and time everything. The only problem I do have is deciding if what actually happened to me was SA... 33:17

5. I noticed recently that I'm really scared to call people I haven't spoken to in a long time. I know they'd love to hear from me and vice versa if they called me. So what's the hang-up (pun intended)? How do I reduce my anxiety around it? It's just literally a fear of pressing call and waiting while the phone rings. I'm not actually scared to talk to these people. What's that about? How do I make pressing the button or the waiting time while the phone rings before they pick up easier? How do I select who to call? Are there steps I can take to get to that point? 42:46

6. Hey Kati what is it called when you are so concerned with the way you walk, blink , eat, move your mouth when you talk, ect. I feel like I walk weird, and I talk weird. I feel like I’m insecure about my voice being too deep or my laugh being too loud. Just little everyday things. I never hear about this. 46:26

PUBLISHED BOOKS

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instacart⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ONLINE THERAPY⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

SOCIAL

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Pinterest⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

PARTNERSHIPS

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast episode 216 | This week Kati talks about what to do when a therapist forgets our appointment or has to reschedule us last minute, and why that can be so upsetting. She then explains why our self-harm behaviors can change over time, whether or not validation in trauma therapy is good or bad, and the connection between religious trauma and OCD or perfectionism. Then she talks about perfectionism, where it comes from, and why it can permeate our entire life. Finally, she talks about being a highly sensitive person (HSP) and managing our sensory sensitivities.

Audience questions:

2. Can you talk about why self harm behavior changes? I’ve changed places and how I do it a lot since starting and I’m curious as to why that is? I still have my ‘go to’ spot for when there’s nothing more I need than to do it after flashbacks but it’s changed so much and I’m not sure why... 15:41

3. Lately I've seen several references from other therapists talking about trauma therapy, and that validation can sometimes be harmful in trauma therapy. I had a therapist (who had postdoc training specifically in trauma) who I asked for validation, or correction if I was not correct, because I was perceiving him as incongruent. Turns out he was being incongruent (which came out at the end of a 10 months rupture he would acknowledge existed but refused to talk about directly and openly). I spent months in limbo, operating from the perspective that it was my perception that was the issue, which really impacted my perception of reality and trust in myself... 23:29

4. Can you talk more about religious trauma? What effects does the fear of hell have on a child? I developed some OCD tendencies and extreme perfectionism. Is this common? 31:32

5. I seem to be a perfectionist not only when it comes to work but also in regards to every human interaction I have: Whenever I meet with friends or family, I try my absolute best at making them feel validated and comfortable in my present. I strive to be the perfect listener and friend, although I know that that's an unattainable goal. And I'm not very good at it, either. I get so anxious about making "mistakes" and upsetting someone or even... 37:03

6. I have a follow-up to your HSP video. How do I sort out sensory issues? I know I have some sensory sensitivities being an introvert and having social anxiety. But I also have migraines and don't know if sensory issues are because of the migraines or a cause of the migraines, or could I be an HSP, or could I even be on the spectrum. I've tested... 41:42

PUBLISHED BOOKS

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instacart⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ONLINE THERAPY⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

SOCIAL

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Pinterest⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

PARTNERSHIPS

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week licensed therapist, Kati Morton shares some ways we can be more honest with our therapist about our depression, the difference between understanding something intellectually versus feeling it emotionally, and introversion versus social anxiety. She then offers some insight into the ways we can appreciate our bodies, how to get in touch with our emotions, and how to tell where you are feeling them in your body.

Audience questions:

PUBLISHED BOOKS

⁠⁠⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Instacart⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠ONLINE THERAPY⁠⁠⁠⁠

SOCIAL

⁠⁠⁠⁠X⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Pinterest⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠

PARTNERSHIPS

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast episode 214 licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about trauma from a single event versus multiple traumas over time. She also explains why a therapist might ask you if you want to schedule your next appointment, how to stop ruminating, and why self harm can often be linked to a lack of validation. Then she discusses boundaries, why they can be hard to set, uphold, and why they can feel so bad sometimes.

audience questions:

1. How does trauma due to a single event (ex: a car accident or rape) differ from trauma from an extended period of time and multiple associated incidents (ex: a soldier in heavy combat during a deployment or being in an abusive relationship over years)? How do symptoms and the overall impact differ? How does the approach that a therapist takes to treat these two different scenarios differ? Is one easier to recover from than the other? 01:30

2. Why, at the end of every session, does my therapist ask me if I want to go ahead and schedule the next appointment or reach out for one later? I know I’m reading too much into this but the thought of her thinking I don’t really need therapy popped into my head. 09:53

3. Please talk about ruminating! It’s brutal, but it’s helped me remember and process narc abuse and bolstered me in my nc decision. But I need to move on, too. Thank you, Kati. 13:46

4. Why is it that self-harmers across the board all seem to struggle with validation of their emotional pain and self-harm? It’s as if we are in an unspoken competition to prove who has the worst pain. I see this in myself, and my OCD accentuates it. So there can be an element of compulsion to my self-harm. The bar keeps moving higher as to what I have to do to myself to prove my emotional pain is severe and the degree of self-harm valid... 18:30

5. Kati I was wondering why you don’t see patients anymore. I know you are busy but you have such great advice. Also I have been wondering why boundaries are hard for me. I broke my boundaries with my therapist and it seems to be hard not to do it again. I think I have an anxious attachment to her and I... 25:26

6. Why does upholding my boundaries feel so defeating? To give insight- I'm in a toxic relationship where my partner is regularly passive aggressive and my boundary is "I cannot tolerate this behavior, I get really panicky and actually don't hear what you're saying, so- whenever you do x, I will leave our conversation and go to my room." I am saving up to eventually leave, because he doesn't see a fault in his behavior and it's getting really exhausting... 31:06

PUBLISHED BOOKS

⁠⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Instacart⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠ONLINE THERAPY⁠⁠⁠

SOCIAL

⁠⁠⁠X⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Pinterest⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠

PARTNERSHIPS

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast episode 213, licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about what it means to be your own victim, and how that can be used as a way to victim blame. She then explains avoidant attachment and how it can affect our therapy process, what to do if we are an introvert but also lonely, and how to help a partner dealing with trauma nightmares. She discusses the difference between agoraphobia and complex PTSD, and the effects of having a parent laugh at our self harm struggles.

audience questions:

1. How can people say you are your own victim? I have depression and low to null self-esteem …I am trying to make better through therapy and CBT/DBT practices etc. However, recently my friend told me that I am my own victim which I kind of get because of my self esteem issues but my depression is not a choice. It is not like I wake up every morning and say I am going to feel shitty about everything today. In CBT, we learn that you can only control your own behavior but what am I doing wrong to still feel depressed if I am following the so-called rule books and doing opposite action, thought questioning,etc and still feel depressed frequently? I am on medications, have attended outpatient therapy and go to therapy weekly for almost 2 years. So, how am I choosing to be depressed again? 01:33

2. I struggle with avoidant attachment. I’m struggling with feeling like my therapist doesn’t actually care about me and I have a push and pull urge to cancel all my appointments but also I want to increase my appointments. Does this mean she’s not a good match or how do I work through this with her? 10:23

3. How do we cope with being an extreme introvert, but also being very lonely. It's a constant battle and I feel like a walking contradiction! There are often times when I want to go out. And crave connection. Yet as soon as I start to socialize I feel exhausted. I'm socially anxious, which I know may be part of it, but to be clear, I'm talking about the times when I'm calm and comfortable... 15:40

4. I’m hoping for advice on helping ground a partner with extremely severe night terrors/panic attacks. My girlfriend has quite a lot of compounded trauma from past SA, DV, & past life threatening situations. Unfortunately she suffers from these ptsd-esque attacks multiple nights a week. When I mean severe I mean during them she seems to think she is back in old abusive situations, seeing me initially as a threat. She cries, sweats, hyperventilates and trembles, begs “no” and for “it” to stop. 24:21

5. What is the difference between complex PTSD and agoraphobia? Also in terms of treatment? For example going outside makes me anxious because I fear getting kidnapped or harmed in any way but also staying at home alone gives me anxiety because I fear that someone will break in. And I get panicky when I am in crowds but only if I don't see a way out. All in all, I feel paranoid because I "need" to look over my shoulder to make sure, no one is following and I really dread going back to uni. I'd rather stay at home. 32:43

6. Hi Kati, can you please talk about how it affects a child for a parent to laugh and make jokes about their self harm when they notice it? I feel so fucked up from everything that happened and still self harm years later. I also had sexual abuse as a child from a family member that got shushed and never spoken about. 37:37

PUBLISHED BOOKS

⁠⁠Traumatized⁠⁠

⁠⁠Instacart⁠⁠

⁠⁠ONLINE THERAPY⁠⁠

SOCIAL

⁠⁠X⁠⁠

⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠

⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠

⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠

⁠⁠Pinterest⁠⁠

⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠

PARTNERSHIPS

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast episode 212, licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses therapy hangovers and if those are even real. She then explains why talking positively to ourselves can give us the icks, why we can not like it if our therapist enjoys their job, and how we can ask our therapist to support us when we are having a hard time. She ends with the reasons we can not want to talk about our eating habits in therapy, and her experience working in community health clinics.

1. My question is about “therapy hangovers”. Is it even real? If it is real how does one deal with it and how long should it last? 00:43

2. How does one get used to positive talk when their whole life they have been shit talked to. I get the ick with compliments and when someone shows that they care 09:49

3. Why do I hate it when my therapist says that he loves his job and that he really enjoys working with his patients? When he says that it makes me feel like I'm there for his entertainment. I feel like a circus freak, like I'm only there for him to study and learn from. 13:56

4. I was having a hard time during my last therapy session. I didn’t want to talk much and felt really low. My therapist asked how she can support me. I had no idea what to say so I just told her that I didn’t know. What does she mean when she asks this? What kinds of support can she give during the therapy session? I do remote therapy by the way. 22:15

5. My question is about not wanting to talk about my eating habits in therapy. In one of my first few sessions my therapist asked me about my relationship with food. I’m overweight and I don’t have very healthy eating habits. I would not consider it to be an eating disorder but who knows, a professional might disagree. I told her that I’ve seen dieticians before and I have all the knowledge I need about healthy eating and that I’m not interested in addressing this in therapy. She has diagnosed me with PTSD from S/A that happened when I was 23 (5 years ago) and that’s what I want to work on. The next session she brought up my eating habits again and advised me to see another dietician. I can’t help but feel frustrated. This is not what I’m here for and after being overweight for most of my life (since I was 12), I’m so sick and tired of every health professional bringing this up. Sore throat? It’s your weight. Ingrown toenail? You might want to lose some weight. Dry skin? It’s probably your weight. One time I saw my doctor for pain in my shoulders and left her office with a referral for gastric surgery. And here we are again. Maybe I’m overreacting or even lashing out because it's such a sensitive subject or is it justified that I don’t want to talk about this in therapy? I would love to get your opinion and hear from others who can relate. 32:46

6. As a clinician who watches your videos, I’m wondering if you have ever worked in community mental health. What would you say CMH is doing well, versus what’s not so good? That can be in a systemic sense, a sense of what the clients or clinicians deal with, or just general. Curious for your input! 42:36

PUBLISHED BOOKS

⁠Traumatized⁠

⁠Instacart⁠

⁠ONLINE THERAPY⁠

SOCIAL

⁠X⁠

⁠TikTok⁠

⁠Facebook⁠

⁠Instagram⁠

⁠Pinterest⁠

⁠Patreon⁠

PARTNERSHIPS

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast episode 211, licensed therapist Kati Morton let’s us know if there is anything we do that makes people think they can trauma dump on us, why we can feel at our worst in the evenings, and her thoughts and experiences with internal family systems therapy. She also tells us how to get out of a depressive episode, how to deal with codependency in friendships, and how we can actually feel our feelings.

25 Coping Skills 14:00 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td4LQ2rxVa0&pp=ygUca2F0aSBtb3J0b24gMjUgY29waW5nIHNraWxscw%3D%3D

PARTS WORK IN THERAPY 15:07 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gymev70IGiI

Kati's inner-child workshop 39:40 https://katimorton.com/the-shop

PUBLISHED BOOKS

Traumatized

Instacart

ONLINE THERAPY

SOCIAL

X

TikTok

Facebook

Instagram

Pinterest

Patreon

PARTNERSHIPS

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton explains how we can discover our true self, if CPTSD is a lifelong struggle, and why we can want our therapist to worry about us. She also talks about whether or not we can develop an addiction to psychotherapy and why being pampered as a child can cause us to feel helpless a lot. Finally, she helps us figure out how to support people with dependent personality disorder without enabling them.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton explains why a therapist won’t just tell you what you want to hear, and how to get over the feeling that they are only being kind because you are paying them. She also talks about inner child work and why it can be so tough to do, what to do if therapy isn’t helping and we feel worse, and some tips for emotion regulation. Finally, she tells us what to do if we are assaulted by our therapist, and whether or not we play a role in our own suffering.

00:44 How do I believe the things my therapist says and not just think she is saying them because I am paying her? I’ve been in therapy over two years and I’m just now discussing CSA with her. I find myself doubting everything she says when she gives me validation, like she’s just saying what I wanna hear and not really being honest. I want to receive everything she says. How do I get past this?

06:08 Hi Kati, Love your channel and both of your books! I'm wondering why I'm having such a hard time connecting to my inner child? I have some childhood trauma I'm working on in therapy, but I can't seem to do the inner child work. I don't really like my inner child, she's vulnerable. Do you have any tips to help overcome this hurdle? Thank you for all that you do!

15:31 I've been in therapy for almost two years now, and I feel like my problems have just been getting worse. No matter what I try to do, my mental health either stays the same or doesn't get any better. I'm having a hard time figuring out if it might just be because I'm scared to get better. I know that you might suggest finding another therapist, but the problem is that for some reason I'm extremely attached to my therapist and I'm not sure if I would be able to function without her in my life. My entire existence relies on her presence at the moment, and I feel like therapy is...

21:47 What techniques are available to help you get through significant emotional dysregulation short term (the next few hours)? I find the whole ‘opening up’ in therapy very emotionally difficult, so I write out what I need to say between the sessions, leading to an escalating emotional state prior to each session …. Unfortunately, I had to cancel a session … I didn’t react well. (I was very surprised how difficult I found it). I became very dysregulated and spent half a day with significant dissociation that I couldn’t “coping skill” my way out of. Do you have any tips for how to handle in the short term, having an ‘event’ that is a particular stressor, when the coping skills are not enough?

27:18 Do you have any advice about dealing with being assaulted by a therapist in session? So I developed an ED in college as my depression and anxiety worsened along with it. I worked up the courage to go to the college provided counselor, but because of the program's limitations and understaffing the only available one was a male. I find much more comfort with women so I really didn't want to but...

33:29 I recently read a quote saying, "healing also means taking responsibility for the role you play in your own suffering." Can you please explain this to me?

---------

⁠Traumatized⁠

Are u ok?⁠

The best way to support this channel is to check out my sponsors and buy using these links:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices