BE OF USE IN ORDER TO HAVE ESTEEM

The idea of Self-Esteem is something that has become common knowledge.  We all think we know what it is.  There seems to be a general consensus that having high self-esteem is a good thing, and having low self-esteem is something that is regrettable and should be corrected.

I am not sure about any of this regarding Self-Esteem.  And yet, I believe self-esteem is a real enough internal and relational phenomenon that it should be thought about and addressed.

My proposition is that we build our esteem around the simple metric of being of use to others.

This seems to be easier to explain to men.  Somehow women’s self-esteem issues always seem to get more complicated.  But for men, it should be straightforward that they should build their esteem around what value they are bringing into this world and into the lives of others.

Even in their relations with women, men should ask, ‘How am I useful to women?’  If you are not having success with women, it’s because women are not seeing use in you.

Women evaluating men for their use is correct and fair.  Men should take any feedback they get from women regarding their value to them and course-correct to make themselves more attractive.

My advise to women regarding how they should go about creating success with men is the same : Create value for men.  Be of use to men.

But saying to women that they should be of use to men has become a very controversial matter these days.  Certainly, telling women that they should CHANGE and CORRECT themselves in order to be more useful and attractive to men is perhaps THE taboo proposition of our times.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org