Becoming UnDone® with Dr. Toby Brooks

Whether in business, sports, the arts, or almost anywhere in between, the ability to assemble and grow a high- functioning team can be the difference between success and failure. And in some elite teams like the US military’s Special Ops, such can literally be the difference between life and death. Growing up in a pre-internet age with Cold War rhetoric and a steady stream of staples of my youth like GI Joe, the lure and appeal of groups like the Army Rangers and the Navy SEALs made them stuff of legend. They were real-life superheroes surrounded by mystique and trained unlike any others. At the same time, if you were like me and my friends, you didn’t know much about them like how to get in, how they trained, or what they did once they were admitted into their elite ranks.

And you couldn’t just Google it at the time, either.

Early in life, Rich Diviney wanted to fly. The appeal of being a pilot and serving his country was tremendous, and he found himself growing up in Connecticut with a dream to take to the skies. At the same time, Rich was also influenced by James Bond films and the U.S. Special Operations Forces, so the idea to pursue a career as a Navy SEAL took root, eventually leading him to Purdue University where he joined the Navy ROTC program.  Upon graduation, Rich was able to complete BUD/S training and serve for over 20 years as a Navy SEAL Officer. During his career he held several leadership positions, to include the officer in charge of training for a specialized SEAL Command - where he focused on defining and refining the ways in which the cadre could successfully identify the candidates who would be best suited to serve in the Navy’s most elite and storied unit. As a result, the Attributes emerged, ultimately leading Rich to write and publish his highly informative and pragmatic book that can help leaders identify the aspects of specific team members that can help improve the way units train and operate.

Listen in as Rich explains his journey from young aspiring pilot to Navy SEAL, from Navy SEAL to military team and leadership expert, and eventually to author, speaker, and influencer in Episode 28:  PRECISION AGGRESSION 

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

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This past week, we had family in town and Taye started his baseball season for junior year, so I chose to take a break from the show for a minute and enjoy this season. Guilt-free. 

And as I reflected back on my last two guests Bridgette Borzillo of CaZo Dance and Bill Benjamin of the Last 8% Academy, I realized that that was the right decision. In both interviews, the thing that resonated with me the most was the idea of being present and being brave in the face of big transitions in life.

For Bridgette, it was stepping into entrepreneurship and founding her own dance company after a career as a college athlete and then as a dancer in other companies. For Bill, it was a similar decision to move from the safety of a good-paying job in the computer software industry to the possibilities of making a bigger impact in the world with the transformational teaching of lifelong friend JP Paliew-Frye. In both cases, the “safe” solution would have been to push forward in a career path that was predictable. But for both, the call and the potential of a deeper purpose became too much to ignore.

So they pivoted. And they went all in in a new direction. Fully present.

Taye’s head football coach and Athletic Director Chris Softley has several great coachisms, but a personal favorite of mine has become his encouragement to his players to “be where your feet are.” It took me a second the first time I heard it to really “get” what he meant by it, but it is more important today than it has ever been in my lifetime. See, in today’s world, it is easier than ever to be distracted by our technology or our thoughts. 

I’ve spent more time than I care to admit being physically present at important events but mentally somewhere else. Whether a wandering mind or a device that—ironically—connects me to the outside world while making me absent from the one I’m actually in, if my mind isn’t focused on the moment where my feet are, I miss out.

Sometimes being where our feet are requires real discipline. As Bill talked about in his episode, our emotional regulation through the limbic system serves as a reward system that can be hard to shake. Dopamine release is a motivator no different than many other forms of addiction. If you don’t believe me, see what it would feel like to consider how it would feel if you accidentally left your phone at home for a day. 

Being where our feet are allows us to respect the past, but to savor the present. Understanding that distractions can pull our focus and realizing that goals and dreams—as helpful and motivating as they may be—can rob us of the joy of the moment, we need to pay attention both when and where we are. 

For so many of my guests, the real tendency for the high achiever is to plow forward after both successes and failures alike and be on to the next challenge is on one hand admirable. And on the other hand a missed opportunity. We never know when or even IF we will get a chance to come this way again.

So my takeaway this week is to pay attention. Respect the past. Aim for the future. But relish the present and be all-in for the season in which we find ourselves. 

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

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Bill Benjamin grew up in Canada and initially found his success in the software industry after earning degrees in mathematics and computer science. On the surface, such would seem an odd combo of experience and training for someone who now serves as a highly sought-after speaker and coach who is a recognized expert in leadership training and developing emotional intelligence. However, when you consider the fact that his work today is all based on evidence about how humans communicate and lead most effectively, it all makes sense. Pull out your notebooks for this one, friends, because Bill has quote after quote that can inspire and direct as he talks about his story, the Last 8% academy, and how learning to control your emotions and thoughts can be the critical key to all your successes in Episode 26: THE LAST 8%

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If you’ve ever spent any time at all in the incredibly competitive world of travel sports, you know that it’s not difficult to become so singular in purpose that every spare moment, every spare dollar, and every spare opportunity (and then some!) can be consumed with a pursuit of being seen, hopefully capturing the attention of a recruiter or college coach. And sometimes, parents, coaches, and even the athletes themselves can feel the pressure to become great in this one aspect of life at the expense of all others. That can leave anyone—especially those with an artistic spirit—feeling unfulfilled and unnecessarily painted into a performance corner.

For Bridgette (Caron) Borzillo, her love of sport actually came second in life behind a passion for dance.  Choreographing for the first time at the age of six, she finally took her first formal dance class freshman year at Fallbrook High School in San Diego, California. Meanwhile, the talented athlete/artist also competed as a three-sport athlete in soccer, softball, and field hockey while also serving as a cheerleader, a member of the Dance Team, and a host of other activities. 

Ultimately, sport won out—at least for a while. The talented outfielder made her way to San Diego State and later Arizona State as a D1 softball player. But her love for dance continued to grow. Following graduation, she went all-in in dance, performing as a member of a number of different production companies. Ultimately, she took the plunge to form a company of her own, founding CaZo Dance in 2014. 

Working tirelessly to create and share her art and her lifelong love of dance, she—like so many—felt the effects of the global pandemic with full force when the world seemed to close for business, especially the performing arts. 

Hear Bridgette share her store of art and sport peacefully coexisting in her world, facing down the fear of entrepreneurship, and overcoming the Lost Season of the Pandemic in Episode 25: DANCE.

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

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This past week, I was on the road, travelling to North Carolina for work and trying furiously to claw my way back to some semblance of not-behind at work. Losing battle, I know. My most recent two guests both had inspiring stories, with Krickitt Carpenter overcoming a near fatal accident, a marriage she didn’t remember, and story that’s been chronicled in books, movies, and television the world over. Meanwhile, Rob Simms overcame the loss of his dad to cancer at an early age to go on to play four years of baseball at Division II Truman State University. After graduating and searching for his identity elsewhere in sports media and communication, he found a new career as a development and fundraising expert. 

Both undoubtedly have lived through their share of ups and downs. What I recognized is that they both have been able to remain positive despite incredible setbacks by relying on their faith and the connection it provides to other like-minded folks. But it didn’t just “happen” this way for them. 

For both, success and happiness have been a consistent and sometimes difficult active choice.

Hear me discuss the LINE OF CHOICE in this Word to the Third Wins-Day and the BRICKS and BUCKETS (entropy and baseball, respectively)!

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

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Growing up in a family of rabid fans for their hometown St. Louis Cardinals, Rob Simms recognized his love for baseball early in life. However, after Rob’s father passed away suddenly due to cancer when Rob was just 6 years old, baseball soon become more than just something to watch. It became something to live and something to be. Rob discovered peace and solace in the hours spent practicing and playing. Eventually, his efforts led to success in high school that opened the door to an athletic scholarship to Truman State University in Kirksville, Missouri.

After four years of hard work both on the diamond and in the classroom, Rob endured the painful crossroads of the nearly simultaneous end of an athletic and academic career that had for so long been his identity. A career in sports media followed, eventually leading to a position as a sports information director at Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska. Over time, he began to realize that his goals as a husband and dad were increasingly at odds with the demands of his job, and he left to pursue a career in non-profit fundraising, ultimately finding success in helping clients raise more than $100 million in capital while still getting to serve as a broadcaster as the voice of the Creighton Bluejays Women’s Basketball team for the past 21 years.

Hear Rob tell his story of overcoming the painful loss of his dad early in life to eventually find his passion on the baseball diamond, jobs in professional sports and a Division I athletics department, and eventually a highly successful career as a non-profit fundraiser in Episode 23: GETTIN’ HECTIC   

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

"From Elite Gymnast to Near-Death Accident: Krickitt Carpenter's Amazing Story of Resilience"

SUMMARY 

Krickitt Carpenter was an Arizona native and college gymnast whose dreams of a scholarship came true when she competed and earned her way to the Cal State Fullerton team. A knee injury cut her career short, but she managed to graduate with a degree in exercise physiology. An unexpected encounter led to a relationship and eventually a wedding, but a car accident that nearly took her life left her with a brain injury that erased all memories of her courtship, wedding, and husband. After a long recovery, Krickitt and her husband tried dating again and eventually remarried. Their story of unwavering commitment and refusal to turn their backs on their vows became a best-selling book and a hit movie. However, their marriage eventually ended.

Krickitt was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona and grew up in the gym her mother owned, Mary Pappas. She was naturally talented in gymnastics, competing at a high level, and her goal was to get a gymnastics scholarship for college. Krickitt overcame adversity and fought to overcome the emotional pain she was going through. She is now a successful motivational speaker and advocate for those who have gone through similar ordeals.

This conversation is about the guest's journey from being a collegiate gymnast to transitioning out of sport and into the corporate world. The guest had gone to Cal State Fullerton on a gymnastics scholarship and had a great career, but blew her knee out her senior year. She transitioned into being involved in a great church in Southern California and shifted her focus from being in the gym all the time to being able to serve others. After graduating, she was connected with a sportswear company called Jammin Sportswear and was successful in sales. While working there, she met her husband, whom she married a year later in September 1993. They moved to a small town in New Mexico, where she worked as an exercise physiologist. On the day before Thanksgiving, they were driving to Phoenix to visit her parents when her husband got sick.

The speaker was in a serious car accident just outside of Gallup, NM where he was t-boned by a one-ton Chevy truck. He was taken to a hospital and flatlined twice on the way, but miraculously recovered due to people praying around the world. When doctors asked her questions to assess her memories, she remembered her mom, dad, and unexpectedly, her husband, Todd, who was an old boyfriend. The speaker made a miraculous recovery and was able to tell her story.

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Toby Brooks is a speaker, author, professor and student who interviews guests who have achieved success by taking risks and growing. Every third episode is dedicated to his own reflections, and this week, he is running behind in his plan to deliver a Word of the Third on Wednesdays. He has been using the Done app on his phone to help him keep track of his habits and this past summer, he completed the challenge of doing 75 hard.

The speaker completed the 75 Hard challenge, an intense program that lasts 75 days and has strict requirements. They now use the Done app to keep up the good habits they developed during 75 Hard, but without the guilt or punishment of having to start over if they are not perfect. They also gained a love of reading after reading David Goggins' first book and were motivated to sign up for a 10K race. However, they pushed themselves too far and ended up injured. The speaker has now found the balance between being tough and being wise.

In this conversation, the speaker is discussing the new book by David Goggins, and how it has resonated with him. He then talks about his own life story, which is vastly different from Goggins. His parents got married when they were 18, and his father worked hard in a coal mine to provide a safe and stable life for his family. While his father was working, the speaker felt resentment towards the coal mine, and wished he could have had his father around more. His father was simply doing his best to provide him with the life he never had as a child. He then talks about how his father inspired him to find something he enjoyed and go all in, and how he eventually ended up working nights, weekends, holidays and birthdays, until he came home exhausted one day and saw his daughter walk for the first time. This realization made him understand the importance of being present for his family.

The speaker reflects on how his father missed out on his first day of school due to having to work, and how this has caused the speaker to be overly cautious in providing his own children with everything they need. He reflects on how he gave up on his dream of becoming an NFL athletic trainer and chose to move his family to Florida for a season of Arena Football, which was a great decision. He reflects on the words of Goggins about how effort should be the priority instead of enjoyment and how his parents taught him the value of effort more than anyone else. The speaker concludes by talking about the modern snow day, where due to the pandemic, there is no such thing as a true day off anymore.

Timestamps

0:00:19

Word of the Third: Reflections on Purpose, Life, and Growth with Toby Brooks

0:01:42

Reflection on Completing the 75 Hard Challenge and the Impact of Reading David Goggins' Books

0:03:36

Reflection on David Goggins' "Discipline of Discipline" and Its Impact on My Life

0:07:43

"The Value of Effort: Reflections on Growing Up and Working Hard"

0:09:10

"Opportunity: A Reflection on Growth and Resilience"

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Some corners of the internet can be scary places. Social media in particular can be rough, with self-proclaimed experts on every virtual corner at the ready to tear us down, be critical, and just generally tell us why we don’t stack up.

However, bright spots exist, and hope remains. Take for instance Canadian Jonica Bullock. An interior designer by training and experience, she is in the midst of a major life transition to coaching and personal training, as years of hard work and experienced earned through relentless dedication not only changed her life, it changed the lives of those around her.

While Jonica never intentionally set out to inspire her corner of the world, that’s what happened as she steadily became the face of the FitBod workout app’s Facebook group—not to mention the curator of the page’s “Flex Friday” and an instrument of hope and light who provides genuine, heartfelt encouragement to others who are also on the path of their fitness journey. The work eventually led to her being asked to regularly contribute to a new podcast that helps tell the stories of one of the most encouraging social media communities ever.

It hasn’t been an easy climb for her, though. Overcoming the shame, stigma, and unhealthy habits of an eating disorder that first showed itself during her teens, her condition got better for a season, then reemerged like an angry monster in her early 30s. Jonica will forever be grateful  for the persistence of a concerned physician and the family and friends who supported her. Through lengthy, deliberate, and difficult work to heal and a steady resolve to learn and live through healthy habits, she discovered her voice and found her power…with that power being at an all-time high thanks to a disciplined approach to healthy fueling and serious work in the gym. And with her healing, she also discovered that she has a true gift for helping others navigate similar paths.   

Hear Jonica tell her story of overcoming disordered eating, her road to recovery, and her current efforts to help others find success in Episode 20: INSPIRE.     

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Growing up in Germany, Sabine Ehgoetz learned early on what it meant never to be enough. Raised by a physically and emotionally abusive mother who made her believe she wasn’t smart enough, pretty enough and simply not loveable the way she was, she soon internalized these messages. Despite evidence to the contrary – a master’s degree in political science in her late 20s, modelling jobs, and a successful career as an editor, her self-doubt manifested in eating disorders and often blind, harmful ambition.

Despite her constant drive and commitment to overcome the generational curse passed down through her mother and heal in order to earn the right to become a mother herself, despite years of therapy and personal development, she found herself in a toxic and abusive marriage – repeating the unhealthy patterns and dynamics she had associated with what love should feel like.
 
As hard and frightening as breaking free from this marriage was, by now alone in Canada and single mother of barely 3-year-old twins, it was equally liberating and empowering. Having lost everything, Sabine set out to continue her journey of overcoming and becoming the strongest and best version of herself, driven by the purpose of loving herself the way she always longed to loved, being the mother she always wanted and empowering other women to be at their best so they could do their best.

Competitive bodybuilding spoke to her ambitious nature, forever driven to get better, be better, be “enough”, but by the time she entered the sport, she has already done most of her healing work and was able to do so from a place of self-love, with a healthy body image and a healthy relationship with food. Bodybuilding for her has always been about much more about mental growth than physical growth – it has become her tool to consequently step outside her comfort zone, face any limiting beliefs she has left and to inspire other women to go after their dreams, no matter their obstacles and circumstances.

Today, with a successful career in marketing and in pursuit of earning her pro card as a bikini competitor in the IFBB, she passionately shares the strength and healing she found on her own journey through her own business as a mindset advocate and fitness and empowerment coaches, helping others navigate their own paths towards radical self-acceptance and boundless self-love.

Hear Sabine tell her story of early wounds and eventual healing, persistent doubts and hard-earned confidence in Episode 19: FLEX.    

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.