Being brave is not about the absence of fear, it's about having the courage to be vulnerable - to press on in spite of fear. The first memories I have of someone using the word brave is when I was a little kid.  For most, it usually has something to do with having to get a shot at the doctor or getting an injury of some kind and then an adult telling us to be brave.  In cartoons, the hero or heroine is often characterized as someone who is brave- someone who will go into battle knowing that the consequences could be dire.  But I've seen portraits of bravery show up as someone who appears stoic and doesn't show vulnerability or cry.  This is where I think the definition of bravery starts to diverge from what it actually means.

One of my favorite taglines I made up for my own life is "Be Brave. Do Epic Shit."  I have put a lot of thought into what it means to me to be brave.  To be honest, trying to avoid feeling and showing difficult emotions has been one of the harder parts of bravery for me.  Bravery means actually letting yourself feel those emotions without letting them defeat you or change your path.  This discussion could get complicated really quickly if we bring in things like masculinity.  Men, especially the older generation feel pressure not to show or feel vulnerable emotions. Perhaps my view of bravery initially came from men.  I remember even from a young age wanting to be viewed as masculine instead of feminine because I used to think masculinity was akin to strength and bravery.  Oh how wrong I was about that! It's a complex topic for another Crush It Monday.  Continuing with my digression for another moment, I still hate comments about women being emotional, or "crying like a woman."  I AM a woman and I struggle with some of my emotions. I can only imagine what it must feel like for some men.  I think this is an important discussion, but I need to move on to what I think it means to be brave.

First, try to think of the first time in your life when either someone told you to be brave or you realized you did something that made you brave.  This is what Matt's story was: he was in grade 9 wanting to take Japanese, but Japanese was with all the upperclassmen that he looked up to. He had to get up in front of the class and say something in Japanese and was afraid he would look stupid, but he realized he had a choice and did it anyway.  Matt felt uncomfortable and did it anyway.

What are some elements of bravery tucked under the overarching theme of a "willingness to be vulnerable"?

If you go to the dictionary, bravery and courage go hand in hand.  Being brave is "to have courage" and courage is "the ability to do something that frightens one" or "strength in the face of pain or grief."

Being Brave is Not the Absence of Fear

It's feeling the fear and doing it anyway.  It's doing it in spite of the fear. Now this doesn't mean doing something irrational like saying "I'm brave" and then walking out into traffic.  It's not saying "I'm brave" and putting yourself needlessly into a dangerous situation.  A whole other topic of discussion would be where is the line between bravery and dangerous risk?  How can you be more brave and do something you're afraid of?  Personally, it's been considering my outcomes and asking myself what the worst-case scenario would be.  Minor injury?  Embarrassment or shame if I fail? Wasted time? Simply not being able to do it?" Often the fear of the thing preventing us from being brave is way worse than if it actually were to happen in real life. Si

--------------
The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.