Grow the Good

I sat down to record this episode without a topic. I was motivated to make the podcast. I wanted to show up. But I wasn’t inspired. And as I started wondering why, that curiosity became the thing that inspired this entire episode.

So what actually is the difference between motivation and inspiration?

In this solo episode, I explore how motivation gives us the energy and direction to act, while inspiration often feels like something that comes to us and opens up a new possibility. We can be highly motivated but completely uninspired. We can also have tons of exciting ideas and no motivation to actually do anything with them.

I break motivation and inspiration into four different zones and talk about what can help depending on where you are. We’ll explore curiosity, awe, movement, attention, role models, behavioral activation, mental contrasting, rest, self-compassion, and why waiting for inspiration can sometimes become another form of avoidance.

Because sometimes we need to take action before inspiration arrives. And sometimes the smartest thing we can do is stop pushing and recover.

Key Takeaways

• Motivation and inspiration aren’t the same thing
• Curiosity can create a bridge to inspiration
• Know which “zone” you’re in
• Don’t always wait to feel inspired
• Protect yourself from inspiration overload
• Sometimes low motivation is information

LINKS

- Read Curious? By Todd Kashdan
- Explore Kristen Neff's Self-Compassion Resources
- Read Dacher Keltner’s books, including Awe
- Listen to The Other Side of Frustration is Motivation
- Listen to Using Self-Talk for Mindset with Ethan Kross

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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co. 

Why is it possible to listen carefully to someone and still completely misunderstand them?

In this episode, I’m joined by my friend Yael Schonbrun, psychologist, couples therapist, and author of Why Don’t You Understand Me? The Surprising Science of Connecting in a World of Missed Signals.

Yael’s work explores something all of us experience: we want to feel seen and understood, but we’re constantly interpreting other people through our own experiences, assumptions, fears, and stories. And the closer we are to someone, the more confident we often become that we already know what they’re thinking. Even when we don’t.

This conversation felt really personal for me. I’ve spent a lot of time learning how my own tendency to read the room, anticipate other people’s reactions, and people-please can actually prevent me from saying what I need and letting people truly understand me.

Yael and I talk about the difference between listening and understanding, why two people can honestly remember the same experience differently, and how humility and curiosity can help us create a more complete shared reality.

We also explore perspective-getting instead of mind reading, positive regard, resentment, parenting, difficult conversations, and the courage it takes to ask someone what they actually think instead of assuming we already know.

Key Takeaways

• Listening and understanding are not the same thing: Hearing someone’s words is only the beginning. Understanding requires us to interpret what they mean and that’s where our own stories and biases can get in the way.
• We are not as good at mind reading as we think: Especially with people close to us, our confidence about what they think or feel often exceeds our actual accuracy.
• Try perspective-getting instead of perspective-taking: Rather than imagining what someone else feels, ask them.
• Humility makes deeper understanding possible: Two people can experience the same situation differently without either person being dishonest or malicious.
• Feeling understood requires vulnerability: If we hide what we need because we’re afraid of someone’s reaction, we may unintentionally prevent the very intimacy and trust we want.
• Positive regard helps relationships recover: Seeing the whole person creates more room for repair, curiosity, and connection.

LINKS

- Pre-Order Yael's Newest Book: Why Don’t You Understand Me? The Surprising Science of Connecting in a World of Missed Signals.
- Learn more about Yael on her website
- Listen to Work, Parent, Thrive with Psychologist Yael Schonbrun
- Listen to Navigating Love: A Deep Dive into Relationships with Yael Schonbrun

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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co. 

How often are you outside without really being with the place you’re moving through?

In this Mindfulness in Action, I’m taking last week’s conversation about nature connectedness out of the theoretical space and into your body. You can do this practice while walking, running, riding, sitting outside, or even moving through your everyday life.

We’ll use our senses to notice the ground, air, smells, sounds, and beauty around us. Then we’ll move into awe, compassion, and meaning. You’ll notice what changes when we stop thinking of nature as something we use for a workout or an experience, and remember that we are part of the ecosystem too.

I’ll also invite you to find something old, like a tree, rock, mountain, or landscape, and let its scale give you perspective on whatever you’re carrying today.

You don’t have to stop training hard or pursuing big goals, but I’ll encourage you to learn how to do those things while staying connected to the world you’re moving through.

Key Takeaways

• Nature connectedness is a relationship: We can shift from simply using the outdoors to noticing how we belong within it.
• Your senses are a doorway to presence: Touch, smell, sound, sight, and the feeling of air can bring us back into the moment.
• Awe changes perspective: Feeling small beside something ancient or vast can create space around our everyday worries.
• Compassion can extend beyond people: Paying attention to another living thing can remind us that we’re part of a larger community.
• The more you notice, the more you begin to notice: Connection grows through small, repeated moments of attention.

LINKS

- Nature Connectedness & Well-Being with Molly Peterson & Dr. Holli-Anne Passmore
- Mindfulness in Action: Grounding in Nature
- Movement, Nature, and Connection for Optimal Well-Being with John Ratey

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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co. 

A lot of us spend time outside. We run, ride, hike, train, explore, and use nature as a place to play or pursue our goals. But does spending time in nature actually mean we’re connected to it?

This episode was inspired by something I heard during a recent breathwork session: many of us use nature without being in relationship with nature. That idea made me think about my own life as an athlete, and all the years I spent outside focused on intervals, performance, Strava times, and self-improvement without always noticing the world I was moving through.

In this solo episode, I explore the research around nature connectedness and the difference between simply being outside and actually feeling like you’re part of the natural world.

I talk about:
- Awe
- The “small self”
- Meaning
- Curiosity
- Sensory awareness
- Simple ways we can become more present outside without giving up our workouts or performance goals

I'm not encouraging us to slow down all the time. I'm talking about occasionally looking up, paying attention, and remembering that nature can be more than the backdrop for what we’re trying to accomplish.

What might change if we stopped only using nature, and started building a relationship with it? 

LINKS

- Nature Connectedness & Well-Being with Molly Peterson & Dr. Holli-Anne Passmore
- Mindfulness in Action: Grounding in Nature
- Movement, Nature, and Connection for Optimal Well-Being with John Ratey

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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co. 

What if quitting was courageous? In this episode, I sit down with Lindsay Crouse, a former New York Times journalist and producer who spent 15 years at the Times, where she worked in Opinion and helped commission hundreds of short documentaries for Op-Docs. As an endurance athlete herself, Lindsay also became known for telling powerful stories about female athletes, pregnancy, sponsorship, and the hidden challenges women face in sport. Now, Lindsay has written a book about quitting.

We talk about why our culture celebrates pushing through at all costs, how perseverance can become a trap, and why quitting can sometimes be the wiser, braver, more values-aligned choice. Lindsay shares what led her to leave the Times, how motherhood changed her relationship with work and running, and why so many women in midlife start asking whether the lives they built in their twenties still fit who they are now.

I also share a story I haven’t really talked about before: the moment I decided to quit chasing sponsorships after pregnancy, even though I was still winning races. I had overcome so much, but the cycle of overdelivering, being unseen, and trying to prove my worth had become damaging to my mental health. Someone called it “positive quitting,” and that phrase has stayed with me.

This episode is for anyone who has been taught to never give up, but is starting to wonder whether continuing is actually helping or hurting. It’s about identity, motherhood, sport, learned helplessness, hope, sunk costs, fear, and the freedom that can come when we stop forcing ourselves to stay on a path we’ve outgrown.

Top 5 Takeaways

1. Quitting is not always failure: Sometimes quitting is the choice that allows us to preserve our energy, integrity, health, and future possibility.
2. Perseverance can become passive: Continuing is also a choice, even when it feels like the default.
3. Identity can keep us stuck: When we are known for something, it can feel terrifying to let it go, even if it no longer fits.
4. Women often feel pressure to “hold up the sky”: In sport, work, motherhood, and life, quitting can feel like confirming someone else’s bias instead of honoring our own truth.
5. Hope can be complicated: Optimism and hard work can keep us locked into paths where we no longer have real control or momentum.

LINKS

• Learn more about Lindsay Crouse
• Follow Lindsay on Instagram
• Read The Case for Quitting: The Surprising Benefits of Opting Out
• Listen to What It Really Means to Matter
• Listen to Hope Is the Strategy: Burnout, Mattering, and Meaningful Work with Jen Fisher  

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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co. 

A couple of days ago, I finished my first ultra trail running race: the Squamish 50K. This episode is a reflection on what it took to get there, what actually happened out on the course, and what I’m still processing afterward. This wasn’t a fairy-tale race story. I came into it after broken ribs, sickness, a short training window, and a lot of uncertainty about whether my body would hold up.

I kept coming back to one idea: race to the level of my durability, not the level of my fitness. That was humbling. I had to go against old instincts from 20 years of mountain bike racing, let people pass me, manage pain, and accept that who I am today is not always the same as who I’ve been in the past. But I finished, my kids ran across the line with me, and I learned a lot about patience, limits, identity, and what it means to show up honestly.

This episode is for anyone who has had to meet themselves where they are, not where they wish they were.

Key Takeaways

- Race to the level of your durability, not just your fitness
- Who you are today matters more than who you’ve been
- Finishing can be meaningful without being glamorous
- Pain and suffering don’t need to be glorified
- Identity is allowed to shift

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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co. 

This week, I’m bringing back a conversation from the archives with Ethan Kross, one of the world’s leading experts on the conscious mind and the author of Chatter and Shift.

I wanted to replay this episode because it connects so strongly with what I’ve been exploring lately on Grow the Good: impatience, rushing, emotional regulation, mindfulness, and the way our inner voice can either help us move through challenges or keep us stuck in loops of overthinking.

Ethan’s work looks at the conversations we have with ourselves and how those conversations shape our health, performance, decisions, relationships, and well-being. In this episode, we talk about negative self-talk, chatter, emotion, mindfulness, problem-solving, and why creating psychological distance can help us work with our thoughts more effectively.

One of the tools Ethan shares is called distant self-talk: coaching yourself through a challenge the way you would coach a friend, even using your own name or the word “you” to create a little more space. That shift can help us move from being consumed by our thoughts to relating to them with more perspective.

This conversation is a great reminder that our thoughts are not always facts, and our inner voice does not have to be in charge. We can learn to work with it, redirect it, and use it as a tool for more clarity, resilience, and self-compassion.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• The difference between self-control and willpower
• What emotions are and how they shape our behavior
• Problem-solving versus overthinking
• Negative self-talk versus chatter
• When mindfulness helps, and when reframing may be more useful
• How distant self-talk can shift perspective
• Why sleep and chatter are so closely connected

LINKS:
- Original conversation with Ethan Kross
- Learn more about Ethan's work
- Read Ethan's books "Chatter" and newly released, "Shift"
- Listen to Self-Talk for Performance: Mental Skills for Athletes

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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co. 

What does it actually mean to keep growing as an adult? In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend Travis Macy for a conversation that is less of an interview and more of a real, honest exploration of adulthood, grief, parenting, identity, intimacy, and mattering.

Travis and I have had many podcast conversations over the years. I’ve been on his podcast, he’s been on mine, and we became good friends through this work. In a lot of ways, we’ve lived these almost parallel lives as professional athletes, parents, podcasters, keynote speakers, authors, and people trying to figure out who we are beyond performance.

In this conversation, Travis shares about his father’s eight-year journey with Alzheimer’s and his recent passing, and how that experience became a major developmental milestone in his own life. We talk about grief, appreciation, gratitude, and the strange way hard things can deepen us when we are willing to stay present with them.

We also explore adult development: how our beliefs, identities, relationships, and sense of self change over time. We talk about moving from approval-seeking to mattering, from performance-based identity to something more flexible, and from people-pleasing to more honest communication and deeper intimacy.

This episode is for anyone navigating transition, grief, parenting, identity shifts, or the question: who am I becoming now?

Top 5 Takeaways

1. Adult growth is not just personal development: It changes how we understand ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us.
2. Grief can become a developmental milestone: Travis shares how his father’s Alzheimer’s journey and passing reshaped his sense of adulthood, gratitude, and appreciation.
3. Identity has to become more flexible: Many of us are learning who we are beyond performance, achievement, sponsorships, or old versions of success.
4. Mattering is different from approval: Feeling valued and knowing we add value can move us beyond people-pleasing and the need to prove ourselves.
5. Relationships help us grow: Parenting, partnership, friendship, community, and emotional honesty can all become places where adult development happens.

LINKS

• Learn about Travis’s work
• Follow Travis on Instagram 
• A Mile at a Time with Endurance Athletes Travis and Mark “Mace” Macy
• The Ultra Mindset with Endurance Athlete and Coach Travis Macy
• Performance, Imperfect Preparation, and Flexibility with Travis Macy (Live Podcast)

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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co. 

In this Mindfulness in Action episode, we’re practicing patience in real time.

If you listened to last week’s solo episode, I talked about impatience, rushing, and how so many of us move through life like our self-worth depends on our productivity. This practice is about noticing that urgency in the body and gently turning the dial down.

You don’t have to cancel everything or suddenly become a completely calm person. This is about slowing down just 2%, enough for your nervous system to notice that you are no longer rushing. You are just moving.

I guide you through a simple walking meditation to notice your default pace, where urgency shows up in your body, and what changes when you soften, breathe, and move a little more slowly.

This is a practice for anyone who feels like they’re living in fast-forward mode and wants to come back to the present moment.

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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co. 

In this solo episode, I’m talking about patience, and really, about rushing.

Rather than focus on time management conversation, I'm taking a look at what happens in our bodies and nervous systems when we move through life with constant urgency, and how impatience can show us where we feel out of control, overstimulated, or overly attached to productivity.

I share what I’ve been noticing in my own life, from parenting and waiting in lines to endurance racing, phones, AI, and the scratchy feeling of wanting things to happen faster than they can.

The good news is that patience is trainable. It’s a skill that helps us stay present with discomfort, delay, uncertainty, and the slow parts of growth.

Next week, we’ll practice building patience in real time with a Mindfulness in Action episode.

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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.