Grow the Good

How to Be a Better Communicator: The OARS Framework from Motivational Interviewing


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The most valuable skill I’ve ever learned isn’t about performance, mindset, or even resilience. It’s communication.

In this solo episode, I’m teaching you one of the most powerful tools I use as a coach, mentor, professor at the University of Pennsylvania, keynote speaker, parent, and partner. It comes from motivational interviewing and it’s called OARS: Open-ended questions, Affirmations, Reflective listening, and Summarizing.

These skills have completely changed how I show up in conversations. They’ve made me a better coach, teacher, partner, mom, and human.

Motivational interviewing is a client-centered communication approach designed to guide people toward what matters most to them. Instead of telling someone what to do (which often undermines autonomy and competence), this framework helps people feel heard, understood, and empowered to make their own decisions.

In this episode, I walk you through what active listening really means (and why most of us aren’t actually doing it) and how to ask open-ended questions that deepen conversations. I discuss how affirmations and reflective listening builds trust and shared understanding. I also give real-life examples you can use immediately with your partner, your kids, your team at work, or your friends.

And yes, we talk about AI. Because as AI handles more intellectual tasks, our human communication skills will matter even more.

If you want stronger relationships, better conflict management, and deeper connection in your personal and professional life, this episode gives you one skill to practice today. 

Top 5 Takeaways:

  1. Communication is a partnership, not a directive
  2. Open-ended questions deepen conversations
  3. Reflective listening builds trust
  4. Affirmations reinforce strengths and values
  5. In an AI-driven world, human communication skills are a competitive advantage

LINKS

- Learn about meditation from Oren Jay Sofer
- Episode on how to be a better communicator

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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

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Grow the GoodBy Sonya Looney

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