The How to ABA Podcast

Beyond Compliance: Why Relationships Are the Heart of Compassionate ABA


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ABA has often been seen as a field rooted in compliance: sit still, follow directions, and finish the task. But is that really the foundation for meaningful progress? We believe the future of ABA lies not in control, but in connection. In this conversation, we reframe what it means to support learners with compassion, trust, and respect.

We share why focusing on relationships first creates lasting change and how boundaries can be set with kindness instead of fear. You’ll hear stories from our own families, like navigating curfews with teenagers, that show the power of mutual respect over punishment. We also break down how approaches like Dr. Gregory Hanley’s Practical Functional Assessment and Skills-Based Treatment highlight safety, trust, and dignity as the true starting point for learning.

Instead of teaching “compliance” as a first skill, we explore what it looks like to prioritize happy, relaxed, and engaged learners. Because when learners feel safe and connected, they’re far more willing to take risks, build skills, and grow with us.

What’s Inside:

  • Why compliance-focused approaches can miss the bigger picture
  • How to build trust before placing demands
  • Practical strategies for setting boundaries with kindness
  • The shift from control to connection in compassionate ABA

Mentioned in This Episode:
Hanley's Skill-Based Treatment Explained: A Practical Guide for Educators
HowToABA.com/join
How to ABA on YouTube
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The How to ABA PodcastBy Shira Karpel & Shayna Gaunt

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