Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute

By Luke Gordon with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute

Beyond the Facade explores authenticity, healing, and recovery from betrayal trauma, sexual addiction, and infidelity. Host Luke Gordon (men's program director at Choose Recovery Services and founder ... more

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The podcast currently has 114 episodes available.

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Number 1: 108: When Her Healing Feels Like She's Leaving: Differentiation in Betrayal Recovery - with Tyler Patrick
After betrayal, it's common for fear to take over. Your partner starts going back to school, developing friendships, investing in themself, or rebuilding an identity outside the relationship, and suddenly you're thinking: They're preparing to leave me. This week, Luke Gordon talks with licensed marriage and family therapist Tyler Patrick about betrayal recovery, differentiation, shame, fear of abandonment, and rebuilding relationships after infidelity. They explore what it means to:Give your partner “wings” instead of holding them backSupport differentiation after betrayalStop letting shame dictate your behaviorRegulate fear and anxiety during relationship uncertaintyBuild a life rooted in integrity and authenticity Connect with Tyler Patrick: website & Therapy Brothers podcast Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute.Choose Recovery Services helps individuals and couples heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change.Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men wanting to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change.Register Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals and couples.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Tender Resilience - Heal through art. No art experience needed. FREE monthly workshop OR join the 6-Week Group
August 13, 202634min
Number 2: 111: Scott and Lela's Story: The Turning Point - What Finally Changed (Part 2)
Don’t miss part 1! Listen here. What happens when sobriety, accountability, counseling, and recovery efforts still don’t create lasting change? Scott and Lela continue to share their journey through repeated betrayal, separation, rock bottom, and the deeper healing that finally began to change their recovery. Their story explores betrayal trauma, boundaries, IFS, therapeutic disclosure, and why sobriety may be the beginning—not the destination—of healing. Listen to learn about:Repeated D-Days and recovery setbacksBoundaries, safety, and deeper trauma workMoving beyond sobriety toward lasting changeBeyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute.Choose Recovery Services helps individuals and couples heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change.Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men working to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change.We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of. Register Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper, reconnect with yourself, and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. Nov 8-11, 2026 in Spanish Fork, UT.Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Rise, Renew, Restore - women’s retreat in Bali in April 2027 - Join us in beautiful Bali for an unforgettable blend of deep somatic healing, soulful connection, luxury, adventure, and restorative experiences designed to help you release what’s heavy and reconnect with your joy.💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals and couples.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Tender Resilience - Heal through art. No art experience needed. FREE monthly workshop OR join the 6-Week Group.
September 03, 202653min
Number 3: 110: Scott and Lela's Story: Four D-Days and the Search for Real Recovery (Part 1)
What if confession, accountability, sobriety, and marriage counseling still weren't enough? Scott and Lela experienced four D-Days and repeatedly believed that things would finally be different—only to find themselves back in the same cycle. In Part 1 of their story, they openly discuss pornography and compulsive sexual behavior, secrecy, betrayal trauma, marriage counseling, 12-step recovery, gaslighting, shame, and the devastating impact repeated disclosures had on their relationship. Most importantly, they begin to uncover a critical distinction: stopping the behavior isn't necessarily the same thing as addressing what drives it. This is the story of what wasn't working. Come back next week for Part 2 where we will explore the changes that finally helped them heal. Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute.Choose Recovery Services helps individuals and couples heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change.Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men working to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change.We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of. Register Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. Nov 8-11 in Spanish Fork, UTRevive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Rise, Renew, Restore - women’s retreat in Bali in April 2027 - Join us in beautiful Bali for an unforgettable blend of deep somatic healing, soulful connection, luxury, adventure, and restorative experiences designed to help you release what’s heavy and reconnect with your joy.💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals and couples.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Tender Resilience - Heal through art. No art experience needed. FREE monthly workshop OR join the 6-Week Group.
August 27, 202653min
Number 4: 107: Why Accountability Isn't Enough for Lasting Recovery
Most people believe accountability is the key to lasting recovery. But what if accountability is only the beginning? This week, Luke Gordon explores one of the biggest misconceptions in addiction recovery: the belief that honesty alone creates transformation. You'll learn:Why accountability mattersWhere accountability stopsWhat actually creates lasting changeHow emotional regulation changes recoveryWhy healing requires more than honestyThe difference between support and transformationChapters00:01 Crutches Analogy02:08 Defining Accountability04:27 Deeper Work Beyond Crutches05:10 Window of Tolerance07:22 Keep GoingBeyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute. We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of. Register Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Luke:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com Learn more about Blueprint Institute’s residential immersion program at https://blueprint-institute.com
August 06, 202611min
Number 5: 105: Are You a Validation Junkie? How Approval Addiction Destroys Authenticity
Are you constantly looking for approval from other people? This week Luke Gordon and guest Ryan Collins explore what it means to become a validation junkie—someone whose identity depends on the opinions, approval, and acceptance of others. Together they discuss:Why validation feels addictiveHow people pleasing destroys authenticityThe connection between shame and approval seekingWhy marriage doesn't fix unhealthy validation patternsChapters03:45 Integrity - Steele vs Noodle05:50 Ryan on Being Called Out09:08 Validation as a Drug14:22 Impact on Marriage20:48 Fear of Disappointing Others23:37 Validation vs Integrity27:29 Owning the Cost30:42 Building Integrity SkillsBeyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute. We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of. Register Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed.FREE monthly workshop: 1-hour Zoom workshop where Beth provides a safe space for connection, reflection, and simple process art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity. 6-Week Group: Designed for those moving through the impact of betrayal trauma and wanting a grounded, compassionate space to rebuild trust in themselves. Each week we’ll explore a theme from Rick Hanson’s book Resilience and pair it with simple art exercises.Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive webinar.Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com Learn more about Blueprint Institute’s residential immersion program at https://blueprint-institute.com
July 23, 202640min