I had an insight that psych meds in a way are artificial thought. Because the process that is induced by the universe, on the brain is actually something that's beyond thought, which makes up the personal self. It's non personal. And it's a non personal process that gets rid of some of that personal stuff, or all of it temporarily. And we're temporarily disoriented. But in a way, taking psych meds after as a way to maintain an artificial self, a functional center. It's to prevent that universal process from happening. Which makes us somewhat disidentify from our personal selves and act nonpersonally. But the structure of society as it is, doesn't know how to respond to people that are acting in this non personal way. And it eventually gets to a place where that non personal person is feared. And then that non personal person responds to that fear. And then it looks like that person has a personal problem. When really, it's a non personal problem. It's a problem of how to be in this society in this non person state. And I was thinking about how we speak the language of thought and relationship of memory past and the personal self. And I was wondering if one can speak the language of insight, and Gaia an insight into nature. And just keep speaking that language. It's a different way of relating. It's relating one's perceptions. Not relating based on past images. I'm also wondering if I can share some of my insights to myself during the day and self dialog instead of writing them down or saving them for later. We'll see. I was thinking about the concept of healing. And how we need healing because we're not playing and how mania is failed attempts at play. And treatment is to trick us back into the old tricks of societies meaningless meanings. Its remaining our remaining process. And I wonder if we were on our original childlike trajectory, would we need healing? And I wrote down, we don't need supervision, we have supervision. As in Super space vision, and I've been thinking about communication. So I haven't really unfolded what I'm thinking about it in particular, even though all of this is communication. And I looked up the term nature mysticism. And I think that describes reading nature and giving voice to nature and understanding and learning from nature. And I was listening to a talk about spiritual emergency and how the Brazilian spirit has paradigm feels like sometimes it's suppressed mediumship meaning the spiritual emergency or so called psychosis is a result of suppress mediumship or maybe not A way to say that as being highly sensitive and not using those gifts, but in terms of suppress mediumship, I was thinking, to play with those words I was thinking, we are the medium ship, or we are the mediums, ship. And by that I mean the medium is life. And we are the vehicle of that life. So we are the medium ship. Not just that we have medium ship, but we are the mediums ship, and we're not really using that ship. wisely, it would be like having a ship on the sea, or actually trying to put a car on the sea, it's the wrong ship, for that medium. We are the vehicle of human life, and we are using that life wrongly. And then we need healing. And then we need mediums to help us heal. When really the medium is life. And we're just not translating that life with our vehicle of the life that we're given. If we use a ship to try and drive through the sand, it's going to need healing, it's going to need fixing. But if the ship is in the right medium, we don't need any kind of healing or any kind of medium ship, we have the wrong meanings. And then we need healing from wrong meanings. If we weren't programmed with wrong meanings, we wouldn't need healing. And all that really needs healing is perception. Because if we can see we can make meaning. Not Be healed from bad meanings just to have new program meanings superimposed over old, obsolete meanings that only has a limited value. We only need perception moment to moment to see what things really mean. And moment to moment, to make sense with our senses are not able to make sense with our senses, because we're not sensing with our senses. We're superimposing thoughts, structures, and that blocks are senses. Because our senses are blocked, we can't make meaning. And because we can't make meaning we need healing. And I feel like I want to unfold further this whole notion of insight and insight perception and intelligence are closely related. If one can have insight, that means one has perception. And perception is utilized by intelligence. But I feel like insight is a D programming language, whereas thought structures or programs. And I thought of an interesting term, profoundly crazy, because I'm a crazy person yet. Maybe I'm saying some things that are profound, but maybe not. But anyway, it's more of a play on words that I'm profoundly crazy. Whether or not anything that I say has any kind of profundity. Maybe it has pro fun in it. As in for having fun. Duty. And I was thinking about thought, and how we feel like thought is actually healthy, except when it gets too extreme. We feel like it's okay if we have so called healthy thought. And it's sort of like playing in a stream and thinking, Oh, this is fun playing in a stream. But if it's a raging river, then it's too scary. But it's all the same stuff. And a stream can turn into a raging river through the powers of the universe. I feel like insight when one has perception and insight, it produces high quality sound and not the noise of the ego. And I was thinking about how when the ego voice inside is turned up. Then more of our brain capacity is on that. So our vision is turned down. But when the sound inside the interpretation, the map thought inside is turned down. Then our eyes naturally have to be more watchful because it's like putting a blindfold on the ears. The noise is turned down inside. On what we think is happening. And when that happens, we need to turn up our visual capacity to see what is actually happening in order to respond, because we're not responding in accordance with our programming. And I was thinking about when we hear sound on the outside, and we don't know what it is, we look around to see what it is, and we try to figure it out, get all the sounds that we have playing inside of our head are actually the opposite. They're all the things that we think we've already figured out. So the whole thought sound structure is something figuring that it has things figured out. And it tries to figure into the picture. And there are literally image sound figures in the moving picture of reality that has little to do with reality, but are figuring that they've figured it out. It's like this energy that figures it's figured stuff out. So it doesn't really have to look. Maybe it's lazy eyes. And so these sounds prevent listening with our eyes and ears. And with our whole being in the present moment, because these thoughts and sounds are a movement away from the present moment. That current light of the present moment is a current of learning delight. Learning is light, and light as perception. Can we stream learning instead of streaming thought, can we stream the mind they talk about live streaming on the internet and thought is dead streaming is streaming old dead information through our brains. Thought is dead streaming, superimposing the old over the ever new present moment. It's actually a limiter. It's limiting the energy of consciousness, light and the mind and perception, insight and intelligence. I feel like there is a switch for neurogenesis that has something to do with light and sound. So when our brains are in sound, and in light, dominant when we are playing with light and sound in our consciousness, but it's old, recycled, light and sound from memory. It's in a way recycling the brain cells. And I feel like this switch to neurogenesis is when the light comes in. And there's perception. And that alters the brain and helps it to grow. So it's this switch where instead of creating images with the sound of our thoughts, we're producing the sound of our voice in the moment, with the light coming in of perception. I feel like there could be a genetic switch there. Because Dr. Bruce Lipton talks about how perception changes, genetics. So that could even be at this cellular and DNA level, or even at the organismal level of actually perceiving with one's eyes.
Last night, I read a tweet that said something about how observing a number of trees and shrubs and birds can improve mental health. And they did a study where they counted like the number of birds and varieties and things like that, that people would see. And if it affected their mental health. And it showed a positive benefit. And I was thinking, well, I like why do we need science? Like, why are scientists doing science on these like, totally obvious things? Why not just give the money to the people in the study. So they can actually go out and maybe get a bird? instead of studying the obvious. It's so ridiculous. And I had an insight into insight and sharing. Feeling like just by sharing insight, it will maybe provide insight into what it's like to see if I see and speak as that which I see. As opposed to just the me. And in this way, I'm learning a new language. And using language, in terms of perception, which is seeing in the moment, as opposed to thought and past me, constructs. And I remember when I first went into so called mania, six years ago, I was trying to create new words and new language. So I think that was actually part of the process was this instinct to create a new language based on the way my brain was now working. And maybe by speaking in that way, in that new language, which isn't necessarily different from English, but it's using English differently instead of English using us. And that would reinforce that way of seeing and communicating in the brain. So it's the brain wanting to communicate in a different way, based on seeing connections. And I was watching Krishna Murray's talk with Dr. David Bohm, called the future of humanity. And Krishna Murthy mentioned that thought dominates our relationships are that thought has become dominant in human relationships. And I was thinking to myself, well, what else could be come dominant in human relationships, and that might be speaking as insight, or speaking based on insights and perceptions. And again, it's this reversal switch of neurogenesis using the light of perception to create sound, and then doing that together and thinking together. And I had a conversation with one of my friends today. And it seems that we're going to be attempting to play with some ideas and just see what happens. And after our three hour conversation, I, I had this sense that he and I have the same brain. Like we're able to talk that way for that long because we have the same brain. Because I was in a dialogue the other day, and I raised the question. And I don't even know if I said this to myself. That if we all left all our past conditioning at the door, and we were all a clean slate, adult brain. What would we talk about? What would that conversation and dialogue look like? And in that way, I feel like his brain and my brain are pretty congruent. It's almost like, even though our brains aren't entirely conditioning free. We have these same values through our experiences, and I feel like our brains have been transformed and transmuted in the same ways. So we had a conversation and figured out that we can go about this process of being co creative, and just seeing what happens. And I think that's cool because it's a way to have dialogue with another person. To put certain things into play, because it's not just about talking about how a manic brain works, and reframing and creating that context for the manic brain to see itself as just find the way it is. But then also putting the manic brain to work. So it's one way for to see how it works. And it's another way for it to go to work. So we're going to go to work together. And we're going to go to work in the manic way. And which is just infinite and chaotic. And it's almost like this new generating ideas and putting the ideas together. And putting our brains together and seeing what happens. And it's possible that nothing will happen. And it's possible that something will happen. But we can't even really know what that is. And it might take a while for it to kind of get going. Or could I have no idea how it's going to go. But what I'm saying is I was even, I was even saying to him that even in talking with myself, I have to look at the page and then say my idea and then talk for a while and then go to the next. But in conversation with him, we talked for three hours non stop, and there was no pausing to look at a notebook. So there's no editing. So the process of talking to oneself isn't as powerful as putting one's brain together with another. Even just in creating dialogue and conversation, it's more natural, because we can just pass that energy back and forth. And he gave me permission to talk about this to myself. And I want to talk about it here and there. Because it's sort of the next iteration of the conversation is having that conversation with somebody else. And not just about the context I've created for myself, which I can't remember anyways. But what can we create when we both have brains have similar context. And I think that it's one thing to want to heal, and it's another thing to be creative. And then the concept of healing loses its meaning. And I was thinking about even my journey to want to come off meds, if I'm being called creative and able to design a life exactly how I would envision or even an alignment with the vision that I was shown and given the blueprint of in mania, then maybe that is the healing and then the need to basically coming off meds might be easier when I'm living a life that is in alignment with that vision. And the chances of me creating that vision are higher if I'm in alignment with somebody else. And I think I already talked about how psychoactive drugs in a way are a way to keep the psyche and thought, in order when the process of map consciousness is actually something beyond thought. So it's like, taking those drugs is like, artificial thought. Whereas the process of map consciousness is introducing a new form of intelligence. It's not really new, but it's new to most of us. And so it's an artificial self. And I think that's pretty similar to what I talked about with the chemical ego band aid. And I wrote down that the amount of healing we need is inversely proportional to the amount of play and laughter we have. And playing with ideas and being creative. I feel like I feel like that goes along with play. It's a creative play. Because this process, we're going to start doesn't really have a motive and it can go anywhere. So, if it turns into something creative, or business ask, it will almost be like business for manic brains. Because so many of us are thought to be non functional or having a different culture. functioning. But really, it's just that the way our brains function is not being seen. And only we can see it, those of us who experience it. So we'll be playing not just with these ideas, but playing with how we might be able to create stuff. And I feel like insight and perception and intelligence is antivirus software. So again, thought, his mind viruses, our own voice turned against ourself, and insight and perception when we see something, and we understand it changes those structures, so changes the thought and language viruses. And it's a different language. It's a deep programming language. And I also had an insight when I was falling asleep. And I actually got up and wrote it down, because I had one or two, the nights before, and I didn't write them down, and I don't remember them. And I remember feeling like, I like that one, I want to keep it. So I wrote down that if the brain is not seeing meaning, it makes up stories. So it's always making up stories about me, and, and the past and all these things. But if it's seeing meaning, it doesn't need to make up stories. Because it's hearing the language of the actual now, the meaning in the now the relationships, the relatedness. And I had the sense of that, because for some reason, I felt a little story coming into my brain about something. And I sort of just saw this relationship between meaning and stories. Stories are like past content, mixed together and rearranged, and blah, blah, blah, whereas meaning, those stories need to be quiet if we're going to see anything meaningful, because stories are seen as meaning but they're all dead meanings. Or as if we're seeing meanings in the present, which is an ever flowing of all, that doesn't feel like all because it's always just flowing, then our brain isn't going to make up stories. So to go with my co creative project with my friend, I need to see if I can get my brain back into idea mode, and how I want to share those ideas with him. And I feel like I talk about the way my brain works, to use the brain in order to see. So seeing how the brain works, the brain can see if the brain can see how it works, you can then see beyond just how it works, it can see how the universe works because the universe works on the same rules as the brain because the brain is that which we perceive the universe with. And the brain is learning this language of how to talk about how it works. In order to learn another language altogether. It's translating the brain to be primarily this sound resonating device into a device of perceiving the light and giving voice to it. And when we can do that together, we can see the same thing together, we can talk about the same thing, we can unfold the same thing, which is our vision. I have some other notes. But I don't even know if I talked about them. I wrote down that. We try to be good at remembering. But we need to be good at forgetting, forgetting all the stuff that's in our mind. So something else can arise. Because when the brain is quiet, it can respond to the whole field of the mind. And I was talking to somebody and it was interesting, because we're talking about how sound and sight go together and touch and gesture and movement. It's all this holistic thing that we separate the senses like they're these separate things, but really, they're not. By looking at somebody's mouth while they're talking. We can understand what they're saying better. So the movement of their mouth is part of the communication. So in that same way when we're perceiving holistically we're perceiving so many dimensions of the whole field. I was thinking about how sights become sound. Because I came out of a building and I looked up and I saw something I think maybe the moon or something and I said almost out loud, look at that. And I was saying it as if somebody was with me. And in a way, perception seeing something so beautiful. There's this response to give voice to it and share that. Nobody was with me. But I said, look at that. Not just, oh, would you look at that to myself. But look at that. So this perception wants to share the perception and see something together. At the same time, I think there might be a direct correlation and inverse relationship between thought and insight. And as one goes into my consciousness, one has more access to insight, the language of insight, hyper perception, and it's especially energizing and foreign the first time. But one, as one goes into those states more often gets used to that language. And I don't mean language as in just words, but the whole energy field of it, impressing upon our body, mind nervous system, and all of our senses, starts to attune us to that medium. Just like, if we practice going in cold water, we'll get used to being in cold water, and it won't really feel that cold. So it's being acclimated to those higher states or those other states. And then they don't necessarily even feel like higher states, they just feel like natural states that we have access to, just like one can train to run a marathon and have access to that state, physically. But one can also choose to walk. So and walking and running a marathon aren't necessarily better than each other is just different abilities to use one's physicality, in lots of different dimensions of what it means to be human. So it's just these other human dimensions that we might think are strange, because people don't exercise in those domains. They just fear them. That would be like being afraid of a marathon runner, because we can't run a marathon. And I might have said this one too, I need to keep track better of what I'm doing. Because now I'm writing stuff in notebooks. Because if I'm out and about, then I can just look at the notebook instead of having my laptop with my notes. But I wrote, we don't have enough random access memory, when we're accessing memories, randomly. Or even, we think we are this random access memory, this ram on the computer. But usually, there's only several gigabytes of RAM, accessing memory, but the hard drive is comparatively massive. And we can be the hard drive when we just stay in the whole field of information. And then the random accessor becomes the universal process of perception, the light coming towards us the information coming into us. I feel like we are Miss hearing and miss seeing the universe. And we don't hear the universe because we hear the me saying it's versus and I really think I said this stuff, but I don't actually know for sure. And that's the trouble with for me trying to create anything beyond just talking to myself is that I don't have any memory very vague. And I was thinking about Dr. Daniel Siegel, how he says the mind uses the brain to create itself. And when I thought about that, I sort of had this sense. I am the mind. Or when when this identifies from the ego self then one is the mind. There's no i to be the mind. It's just mind. And there was one other thing I saw this wiki article about this. Juana Maria of these islands off the coast of California. Someone told me about it. And then I read her wiki story. And it said something like she was living on this island for 18 years by herself. And then they brought her to the coast. And seven weeks later, she was dead. And they said seven weeks Slater's, she was dead from these diseases. And I was thinking to myself, no, she was in this beautiful paradise and adapted to that. And then she was brought into this toxic society. And seven weeks later she was dead. To me, it was more of an illustration of that, not that she had some kind of illness, she probably had no immunity to the diseases of society, and she wasn't adapted to that at all. And she quickly died. I just made me think of people diagnosed with mental illnesses and how, in a way, our consciousness goes to paradise. And then we come back to this world with everyone else. It's like, we go to this island of Paradise in our mind, that's also here. But our consciousness goes there. And then when our consciousness comes back here, and nearly dies, and I wrote down, make sense of the senses. And then we don't have to make sense, we just sense and I was thinking about this language that it seems my brain is learning to speak. And I wonder if I speak nature. I'm starting to learn the language of this land. The different Bird sounds, the hummingbirds, the lizards, sound of oranges falling. It goes on. When one is perceiving that and learning the language of that movement, and those sounds and those sights and those smells, what else is there and I was reading something by Krishna Murty, and, and he said, if one could be educated to discover the factors that produce order, it would have a great significance. And I have a feeling that has something to do with this language. It's the language of the order of nature, our relationship to it, and that includes us. And I opened a book, and randomly it opened to this page that said, and it was a quote by Krishna Murty, and it was the only quote on the page. It just said, when you destroy nature, you destroy yourself. And I'm pretty sure I talked to myself about how we are nature. So in speaking the language of nature. And speaking as nature, we're actually speaking as ourself. And I actually feel like, people go into map consciousness, sometimes they connect with nature and, and the pain of nature because its nature trying to communicate with us through us at a distance, because it feels that we're disconnecting from it. And that's destroying it. But it's translated into stuff against ourselves eventually, because we are destroying nature. So we're destroying ourselves. within it seems like our thoughts are destroying us. But that's one way that probably nature can destroy us is with our thoughts against ourselves. But it's just nature doing it. It's the whole of everything. There's no separation. That being said, it could happen that if it reaches a point where nature's getting destroyed too quickly. There could just be mass confusion in human beings at some point. To the point where there's more people that are supposedly crazy than sane. I feel like it would be cool to unfold some of this order. Part of that order would be seeing something for oneself. So seeing something directly versus being told and then remembering and then conforming to that as a pattern. When you can see directly for yourself. You don't need patterns, you don't need habits. There might be things that appear sort of habitual to others, but they're not necessary. We need sensitivity freedom to see And to see the relationships between things. And there's an expansiveness in that.
It's 9am. And it's already really warm. And it's nice in the shade. Though I do want to get some sun time in for sure. This morning, I was again listening to the birds. And this one particular spot that there's quite the symphony of birds and a lizard. He's looking right at the sun. And there was this one particular bird song. And I don't know the kinds of birds and what they sing, but it was just so detailed and beautiful, I could just sense that they were really talking to each other. Because one would sing the song and then the other and it was quite complex in terms of the notes and, and the tempo and. And I could hear these little birds chirping, like maybe the mom bird was singing to her baby so they could learn the song themselves. And how her singing the song would almost create the brain cells, those little babies needed in order to sing the song when they grow up. Because I don't think they practice and then get the song wrong, I think they just sing it when they do sing it. So it must be in their brain somehow. But I almost started to tear up just because it's so beautiful. And then I could hear the bees buzzing, it sounded like a faint swarm all around me. But really, it's just so silent that the space is there for the bee buzzing frequency. And even when I was hearing all the birds, I had this sense that all the birds are here together. So they need to have their own song and occupy their own frequency, not just even occupying their own space and time in space and time, but having that frequency for their song. And in the same way, I feel like map consciousness is a different frequency for humans to start singing a different song, giving voice to something different. I just love the sound of the hummingbirds. They sound like little machines like I don't know if you can hear that. Just sounds like a little squeaky mechanical part. But it's this tiny little bird sitting there looking for his friends. And I took a video of the bees buzzing and I've taken a couple other clips of things, and maybe I'll share some of them throughout. Because part of it is learning to speak the language of beauty and nature. And I feel like we could speak a language of beauty just among human beings. But maybe it's easier to learn that language around nature. And I just had this insight that consciousness holds us up in gravity. So at night time we go to sleep. And it's like our consciousness has set just like the sunsets. It's still there. It's just sort of set beyond the horizon. So when our consciousness sets, it's this inner darkness where we're not really conscious, and we go to sleep and we're no longer holding ourselves up in gravity. So consciousness in a way is anti gravity. And gravity has an effect on matter. But I'm not sure if it has an effect on light. So in this conversion of matter into light through perception, perhaps gravity has less of an effect. And the other thing with the BS is I heard this loud be buzzing. And I'm going to let the crow have his time on the video. And I will occupy my own space and let him crow in between because that's fine. But the bee It was such a loud bee and I looked over and it was a big Bumblebee And it was like 30 feet away. Yet I could hear this thing. Like it was right beside me. And again, that's the silence. And I feel like the same thing can happen with silence and consciousness, then one can sense things a lot more strongly, even if they're far away different energies and vibrations, and perceptions. What do you want? And I realized last night that now might be a good time to go through my old original manic notes for some of my strange ideas. Since my friend and I are going to be playing with strange ideas, not all of them strange, but just playing with ideas together in this manic creative way and and see what happens. It's sort of like what happens when two people that have been labeled with stuff, put their brains together in knowing that their brains have something that they want to unfold and create not knowing exactly what that is, and seeing what happens. So I have been unfolding and creating this self dialogue with myself. And now what do I create with somebody else, which is something beyond just talking to myself about reframes about map consciousness and transconsciousness that as a certain value, but then understand map consciousness and transconsciousness. For what? It's one thing to create the context is the next thing to be embodied as creating with an understanding of that context. Hey, that was funny. I went Hey, and the purpose Hey, that's enough to make a video here. What is this bird understand that I'm trying to make a video? I'm trying to talk to myself. I listened to the birds all morning. And I'm done listening to the birds. Yeah, no, I don't care. Why don't you make like a bunny and be quiet bird. It seems like he's applying the principle of if you're lost. If you've lost your mom, stay put, don't move she will find you cannot go with anyone else. So he's just sitting there calling out. He is he's lost the radius of awareness because I've noticed that so many of these birds they call to each other back and forth. And the bird closest to me calls out and then I can hear a bird far far away. And they seem to stay within earshot of each other. Who knows if their hearing is more or less sensitive but Hummingbird Yeah, I don't know if this bird is gonna give me my silent external space. I remember now talking about finding dialogue partners as a kind of dating in a way. Wanting to share that space and time but not necessarily physical space. And it seems like I found a co creative brain We'll be supporting each other in our co creation, not just trying to help each other with symptoms and things. So in that way, we're acknowledging the original process and how the brain enters a creative hyper learning state. And going with that, as opposed to trying to fix our symptoms. Yet we both have this understanding that our brains might possibly go into hyperspace hyperspeed. But we'll be able to support each other in that. Again, it's about just create, it's the process, it's not about what it's not about a goal. It's not about a particular thing, because that narrows it down, part of it will possibly be showing the process of getting into a supported creative process. And it could be like being parallel quantum processors. In a way, we might need to gather more brains, but I'm not sure the other brains would really have to get it. Because we were talking to each other about how we've known each other for a year and a half. We've been having long conversations here and there throughout. So because of that, we have established trust and understand that we share the same values. I even said to him, that I wouldn't even care if he took all my ideas. They're not even my ideas. And then if he just took them all and stopped talking to me, I would only care that he stopped talking to me, but not about the ideas. Because in this process, there's an understanding that ideas are unlimited, and we can't carry them all out on our own. Nor do we want to, there's ones we don't want to even do, but maybe somebody else does. So I talked about this before how in business, a person will get one idea and I'll work 20 years on it. Whereas people with these types of brains that go into the creative stage, get 1000 ideas in a day, yet can't do anything with them. So there's this idea about the scarcity of ideas. And in a way ideas might be a new currency, and exchange, and then people that carry them out. can do so the ones that want to. So we sort of unfolded something, but who knows what will happen with it. And there'll be just part of this self dialogue by itself dialoguing about co creation, possibly. And even in myself dialogues, I've talked about things that I want to create. So it's possible that that will be made more possible throughout this co creative process, I can sort of see that it's a process of making things possible. And I had an insight I've been saying that our own voice gets turned against ourselves. But then I also realized that our own voice is ourself. It creates the ego, self and the me it's just our own voice repeating in our head. And when we see that, that's not anything at all, then it loses its strength. And I mentioned that map consciousness is a deep programming language. And I talked before about how it seems like this whole process where the brain can have altered states of consciousness is a failsafe so the brain which is a living thing, can't get programmed into machine like action and we already have but it ensures that we can't ultimately get programmed into machine like action and the D programming language is life itself. So thoughts are mechanical machinery that get us to act based on programs. And life itself is the D programming language, the energy of life and living in chaos and complexity and change and flux and flow. And also actually just seeing nature and understanding the language of nature will be programmers from being so identified with this me self that we think is so important. So life itself cannot be written over by words. And words are constructs and things we use to judge and categorize things. But by is not actually according to human categories, those categories can be somewhat useful and beneficial, but they can also be very destructive. Yet words, which are very limited and categories and human abstractions and concepts cannot write over life, life created those words. So life would not have within itself the allowance for words, which is a very small subset of life, to destroy life. So life allowed words and language to evolve, but now, it seems like that has been used to to much detriment. And so we're having people born not able to acquire language, or something like that. Words can be used to point out life's artful relatedness. Or it can be used for division. And we each have an inner dictator, it's dictating with words, what we should see and categorize and judge and, and those are all programs were moving according to, and there are no dictators, it's just thought. So I saw that very clearly last night when I was getting ready to go to sleep. And that one almost freaked me out. When I see those things that are, they can be warped in a kind of scary way. Because I feel like in so called psychosis is thought it's it's all of that energy. And it's, it nearly destroys a single person. But if one is able to see through that and, and get through it, maybe one day, one can just brush those words off one sleeve and understand that those words cannot destroy the life that one is. So even if those words are going on in the mind and consciousness, trying to get the organism to destroy itself, if one just plays there and surrenders, it can't do that words cannot destroy life. And so in learning this language of relatedness and insight, when one sees that relatedness and that we are nature, one doesn't destroy nature, and then nature starts to respond to us again. So Hummingbird I don't know if you saw that. Post. So cool. I've never won. I've never seen one in the middle of the air like that. So hopefully you saw that. Apparently, in a couple of weeks, there'll be a lot of hummingbirds here and I'll try and get some video. I feel like seeing hummingbirds heals the brain. Such a miraculous being. And the other day I heard a siren for the first time. And it was actually because I was outside walking and I was listening to some of my video. audios I've only listened to a couple and I heard a siren from the video audio. And I was like whoa, I didn't heard an ambulance or fire truck in three weeks. And I was thinking about how getting used to cold water turns off the shivering response and how getting used to manic consciousness or even just a flux and flow and consciousness turns off the the behaviors that we need to prune out response so just like if one first jumps in a freezing cold pool of water, they're going to jump out in a big reaction. So, when one gets used to this flux and flow of consciousness, this sensitivity and one starts to understand what one is sensitive to. That one doesn't have such a on off reaction like move towards a runaway, one can start to be with it and understand the richness of that and understand that staying with it will give an unfolding flowering of information. Because we're so used to with our ego judgments. Good, bad, right? Wrong, yes, no desire pain. It's just so on or off. So when we first get in touch with this richness that isn't about on or off, yes or no, we still have that response. And so we can have so called behavior problems. When it's not that it's just, we're learning how to be with that richness with the old pattern behaviors that were used to have fight or flight or good or bad or, oh, yes, that suits my little fancy that I've been programmed to be attuned to or not.
Last night, I woke up, because I had a tickle in my throat, while I hadn't quite fallen asleep yet. And at the same time, I had this heart pounding, and sort of fear and sort of like this subtle fear of death at the same time, and it was really interesting. And I felt like writing down that death is a tickle in the back of the throat while falling asleep and getting used to it. It just felt like a very quick and subtle dying. But in a way, it could be good. Because getting used to that daily depth, as opposed to waiting for that big one to accumulate every six and a half to eight and a half months as it is, from my internal process, it seems. Maybe it would be better to have just a small daily one than waiting for that big one. And I was talking in my last video about getting used to the cold turns off the shiver reflex. And I wonder if getting used to map consciousness or mania or higher states and fluxing states might turn off the shiver of psychosis. And interestingly enough, when I've had so called psychosis, I usually do have a shiver response. And I also had a bit of a sense that that time when my consciousness left my body and went into a bird, and I was flying all over the place. And then it went into other things as well. But I had this thought that maybe my consciousness went into the bird to fly everywhere, and see what's happening from a perspective of a bird. So in a way, I had this bird's eye view of the world, even though I don't remember seeing it, I just remember being the bird. And the sensations of that. But I had the sense that the mind is trying to see through the brain, the one mind that makes up everything, the one consciousness, it sees through the birds it sees through brains. The brain is sort of the physical apparatus that allows the mind to see itself and all aspects of itself. So by being a bird temporarily, consciousness was able to have a bird's eye view. And it seems that humanity has its own images of me. And its own individual needs and desires and goals apart from the mind. And that actually blocks the mind from seeing itself. And it blocks the human from seeing itself as everything else, as connected and related and an aspect of the all. So I feel like in that experience, in a way my consciousness died to this body temporarily left my body and went into a higher consciousness than even being a human being, which is a bird, which maybe isn't even higher consciousness, per se, it's just as a different way of seeing. One can see further what's happening in the world. Like a bird must kind of know there's something wrong when there's not enough trees for it to have a proper community of its own species and other bird species, etc. So the mind wants to see through the human brain, because the mind is seeing through the brain full of its own stuff full of its own memories and experiences, which have nothing to do with nature. And we are nature. And it doesn't mean there's no place for human constructs, but by seeing through the mind, the human constructs would likely take their natural place because right now they're more expensive. Turning, like cancer, cancer destroys the body and humanity is destroying its body which is Earth, Earth is our real body. Without the earth, we wouldn't have bodies. Maybe that's what's missing in terms of planets being inhabited is that consciousness has to imbue the planet with consciousness in order for life, to arise from that consciousness. And it's possible that other planets could have life on it, and we might be looking right at it, and we would still not be able to see it. Because we look at our planet, and we can't even really fully be with the life that's on our planet, we can't really sense it. So if we can't fully sense the life here, how would we be able to sense the life on another planet if we can't sense the life of a bird here? And its importance? How would we even have the sensitivity to even sense other forms of life, we can't even see what's right in front of us, we can only see our own constructs. And so if we're looking for our own constructs on other planets, which have nothing to do with life, then we're never going to find it. For some reason, A Course in Miracles popped into my head. And I was thinking that map consciousness is sort of like a course in magic, which is similar to miracles. And I was also thinking that it's sort of like magic coursing through the body. It's sort of a course and being animated by that magic, which is just life. It's being animated by life as opposed to thought structures and patterns. It's being animated by the moment. And in a way, it's a different obstacle course. So normal consciousness has its ego thought structures as the obstacle course. It's trying to get past the obstacles that it itself has imposed upon itself. And by doing that, it creates the self. It's not a very interesting game does a tiny spider on my phone, doing the obstacle is the ego. And the only real thing to do is just see past it. And that shouldn't be that difficult, because it's just the sort of illusion of thoughts and sounds, and images. Just look at a real something and you're seeing past it, looking without the word about the thing that one is looking at. And it could be that the obstacle of the game, I don't know if that's how you say that the objective of the game. And it could be that the objective of the game is to live a life without the obstacle of the obstacle maker. I feel like if we're sensitive to these things, then life is rich, and we are rich, and we are richness. It's not just about the nine senses, or five senses, depending on how you look at it. They all melt together, and then they're flux and flow creates this infinite richness of sensing. So the five senses become sensitivity. And we speak is that sensitivity. It's not just about hearing and touch. It's understanding the whole language of all the senses together. And when we do that, we can actually understand the language of the sense impressions that we're getting in the moment. And speaking as that we've narrowed life down to a few desires, wants goals. So we have this very limited band of goals and desires. And we make life about seeking out that which could be an infant decimally small amount of the richness available in reality and in life. So we're looking for a needle in a haystack because we have this very selective thing that we're looking for. But if we're just looking that which we're looking at, impresses upon our sensitivity, and gives us the sense of richness, moment to moment. Not richness because of a certain thing. It's just a richness of being alive. But most of us don't feel alive because we're looking for a needle in a haystack. And we've been told that once we find that needle, we're going to be happy when happiness is being sensitive to the richness of the moment, because it's so infinite. It's so infinite. Like yesterday, I was talking to my friend for three hours, and I was on the phone, but I noticed this pink blade of grass. And I kind of meant to take a picture of it. But I forgot. And then when I got back to inside, I thought, Oh, I want to take a picture of that pink blade of grass. And I was telling someone about when I was manic I was being all creative, the very first time with knickknacks. And then I told him about, oh, I need to take a picture of a pink blade of grass. And he said you're still the same as that just in a different way. So it's still being sensitive to the relationships of things, just in a different context. And it's still very rich, but it's not as energizing as at first was because it was just such a new state to be in. And I still don't know what my consciousness would be like if I wasn't taking lithium, which seems to sort of keep me slow down to some extent, weighted down by that heavy metal still attached to the earth. So just to notice a pink blade of grass. And that's the richness, the richness is of perception. And then it's always changing, there's always something new and different. And that's, again, the richness, instead of always looking for the same kind of thing. When we're not looking for anything, infinite kinds of things can impress upon our sensitivities, and speak to us in a different language, it's the language of sensitivity, it's the language of life, instead of the language of me and what I want, what we might want is for there to be no me. And in this non wanting state, we have everything. But in a way, it's hard to believe that that's true. Because if we watch TV, we see people with things and drama and all that and we think well that's what happiness is. Because it's on TV and it's entertaining. And the people on TV must be happy because they're on TV and bla bla like it goes on like that. A show that just showed someone sitting there and then noticing a pink blade of grass. And then going over and taking a picture of it would not be entertaining. Yet to the one who's able to be in that state. It's infinitely rich in such ways that one would never watch TV. I was watching a TED talk by someone named Aaron banach. And he was talking about how to be happy by not being your best self. And that resonates for sure because I've talked about the importance of being one's best self, or that we get in touch with it in mania, but I also feel like I haven't yet re joined with that best self that I was But I also have the sense that I don't care, it doesn't matter. So I'm not yet that version of myself, and maybe I never will be, maybe it'll be something different and better. And it's not even about better or worse, it's just about having that blueprint of how to be as a human being fully living in the moment. Yet, it's important to actually not always be living fully in the moment because one is around people that aren't living fully in the moment. So one has to sort of default to programs where those are necessary. And that's part of the process of intelligence as well. It's important for me to sort of default to the program of mental patients somewhat, when I'm talking to psychiatrists not be like, Oh, I'm living in the moment, let's go for coffee, like, they would just think I'm crazy. So. But he said, we can't describe feelings. So going for happiness, when we can't describe it is kind of off. And I was thinking that with the sensitivity, when we're not thinking all the time, when we're just sensitive, we can't describe that sensitivity. It's a richness that we feel, and, and sense and perceive. And we can give voice to some of it, we can't fully describe it. So this richness, then may be talking about can't really describe it. Because if I tried to describe each rich moment, that would be impossible. But one knows when one's connected to it. So one might no one one's happy, but can't really describe that one knows when one is sensitive, but can't really describe that. And when we first get connected to that sensitivity, we try to describe it in terms of the me. And we try to describe it in terms of desire, and pleasure, pain. And all these ways. We're used to describing things yet that doesn't describe the richness, but that's the only language we know. So what I'm saying is even to learn the language of sensitivity, doesn't mean that a person can fully unfold, the richness and sensitivity of each moment, that's impossible. So it's a language of the senses. It's the language of sensitivity, not just the senses. It's not just I hear this, I see this. It's a sensitivity that is infinite within itself. And we talk about the sixth sense. It's kind of like the sixth sense. But the sixth sense is an infinite sense. It's sensing it's when all the senses, combined plus the sixth sense. So the six senses or I've even heard the nine senses. So it could be the 10th sense. They all meld together in their fluxing. So sometimes for active or infinite or active and, and it's such a flow that you can't separate those things. And then you can't separate yourself from the sensitivity that you are you can't separate yourself from from nature. I feel like this sensitivity is the richness. And he drew a little diagram where he showed happening. Thought, feeling behavior. So then he was talking about controlling one's thoughts, which that's probably one of the most common notions in terms of happiness is control your thoughts. And Krishna Murty would say that thinker is the thought. So it's just thought controlling thought there is no separate me in there controlling the thought because the me is thought and trying to control it actually creates the me because it's the center entity made up of thought I might have just ate a bug I don't know. So I drew another diagram and I don't know if it's true. And it's just for fun to sort of compare it. I wrote happening. sensitivity, per se perception, action. And the reason it goes like that is because one needs sensitivity. Otherwise one isn't going to have true perception. One is going to have deception and thought is actually deception. And he gave an example of if a train and now announcement starts and says the train is going to be laid. Then there's a thought interpretation of that Now one could hear the train is going to be late while looking at a flower pot that is on the platform and have no reaction at all to the fact that the train is going to be late. So what I'm saying is, if there's sensitivity, one could be sensitive says something else other than this announcement. And you know, thoughts in our brain in a way are just announcements, and we're paying attention to them. And then we're judging our own announcements in our brain, our own thoughts, who's judging that like, it doesn't, there's no who there is just this high. It's just this associative process. And these associations create the me because everything in the brain is associating everything to the me in relation to me and what that means for me and my day, and my efficiency, and blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, there's flowers and trees and beautiful things that one could be looking at. So what I'm saying is people don't question thought itself. And there can only be sensitivity when the brain is completely silent and quiet. Obviously, if one is going to have this richness of sensitivity of all the senses, holistically receiving everything, there can't be noise, a sound going on, that's going to mess up that algorithm, of the beauty of the flux of the richness of sensitivity. And it's just this algorithm of Me, me, me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it has nothing to do with anything. So I don't think thinking better thoughts, to feel better feelings, to behave better is anything to do with happiness. Happiness, if there is such a thing as just seeing things clearly, of course, people can be happy when they're living according to their own associative deceptions. And that process is creating the illusion of the separate me. And it's not like there's no being or entity there. But that entity, that sensitivity is being blocked by the sounds of the me, which is thought going around in circles. So that's Association, whereas when one is sensitive, the brain is more on the extrapolative holographic quantum processing state, we try to moderate feelings with thoughts. And to me feelings are the result of thinking a similar thought many times, and that sort of gets congealed into a feeling complex. So then, when one thinks that thought, again, by picking out that bit of information from the infinity in front of oneself, then one has that feeling again, and one's just addicted to that feeling. And when one is addicted to personal feelings, one cannot be sensitive. To the entire universe, one's only sensitive to oneself, the me, which isn't even real, it's just sounds about past experiences. And in a way, if we didn't have those sounds about past experiences, saying that that's actually important, we'd probably just all walk off into the forest. So it's one of the things holding us to this crummy societal structure that we've all created to imprison each other with. I'm going to go back to the hummingbirds.
I just, I just witnessed the course thing about Woodpecker. picking on a roof, I'm thinking, why would it pick on a roof. But I hear a woodpecker so far away picking on a roof. And if he was just packing on a tree, that sound would not travel that far. It's like they have a cell phone. Because they're not just backing on trees, they're able to pack on metal structures that humans have created, and stay in contact at further distances. Last night, I was editing my videos. And then I noticed a 32nd clip that I had added after my last video, and I don't usually do that. But I didn't add it into the video. So instead, I was listening to an audio by Krishnamurti and David Bohm. And it was really rare. I'm not even sure if anyone else has listened to it in many years. But the exact thing that Krishnamurti says on that audio tape, it's a cassette tape, I'm using a Discman took me a while to find one that works. And it doesn't even have a rewind button. It's only as fast forward. But Krishnamurti is talking about the nothingness. And how there's nothing inward, he's saying there's no inner. There's only outer, even the brain is outer the, if there are any thoughts there outer. And it seems kind of paradoxical to some of the things he says like the inward revolution and turning inward versus turning for entertainment. But I only realized that paradox this morning. But what was interesting to me is, had I added in that clip, I would have listened to it and then listened to the Krishna Murty talk and maybe not really noticed, but I just finished listening to the Krishna Murty thing. And then I just somehow happened to watch that clip that I made. And I was saying the same thing. I'll put it in here, the magic animation of the universe and creation, and not the inner machinations of blank. And I say blank, because it's nothing. There's nothing there. There's no thing inside us. There's no me inside us. And I find that's what happens is that it's always a reversal of things like something happens, and then it's not confirmed afterwards. But just the ordering of things. I'm not sure how that works. But I just thought it was pretty interesting. Because when I was listening to the Krishnamurti stuff, I was thinking I've never quite heard him say things this way before. Yet I had just said that same thing earlier that day, in self dialog, not by planning to say it, but just actually came out spontaneously. And perhaps that doesn't mean anything at all, except that there's this connection to truth as opposed to speaking from the ego. Perhaps when one speaks as the moment there's always some relevance to truth, whatever that is, I don't even know what the word truth means. A lot of people talk about it, but it's not really one that resonates with me. Maybe because It sounds so static. And I don't really see anything as static. Even though Krishnamurti says, truth is a living thing. There's no truth. But there is a truth. It's just this living thing and being with that living thing, and living as that living thing, yet even that sounds like duality, it sounds like there's a separation, and there's no separation. So that's what he's talking about with the inner nothing is that then there's no separation, if there's an inner something, then there's automatically a separation. So yeah, I was just really struck by the fact that I heard something of Krishnamurti that I hadn't really heard before, and it was something subtly profound. And then I watched myself say it, and I had said it earlier that day, in a similar way, yet, it didn't feel subtly profound coming out of my mouth. grieving, hearing it from myself, I was just noting that it was very similar. And perhaps, we're pointing to the same thing. And the thing of that is that anyone has access to it, or no one has access to it. Sort of like we need to be nobody in order to access it, then who's the one accessing it? It's so paradoxical, it's impossible to put into words, because when one speaks words, another listening assumes there's this separation, they're speaking the words. And that separation is trying to impose something upon the other separation, but the non separation is trying to speak about the non separation. So that the other who was in even other sees, or there is a seeing, there is no separation. And there's nobody that can do that. There. So trying to see is, again, a goal or a desire, which negates the whole thing. So that needs to be negated and see how the language is just circular one can talk in circles all day long. And interestingly enough, that's what we do in our head with our ego. And we're kind of seeking for that which sees, and when one sees one can speak in circles, but from nothingness, as opposed to from ego thought, if we were to share our thoughts in our head, we could probably only speak for a few minutes, if we shared all the prominent thoughts in our head that we have on a daily basis. But if we speak is nothing then we can speak for hours, or not speak for hours, it doesn't really matter. And I have no idea if that's true, it's just a subtleness. And one has to be nothing in order to sense that subtleness and make sense of that subtleness. Even yesterday, in my video, when I was editing it, I noticed that that crow finally was quiet. And he was quiet because all of a sudden another CRO was calling in the distance. And then there was a different call. And then when the CRO that was close to me heard his friend, he had a different sound. And it was like, yeah, you found me. There you are. And it was so cool. Just to see that in the background. And I missed that one I was talking. So in talking, we miss things. I was talking to myself and self dialog, and I missed that rejoining of the crows. And how much do we miss in actuality, when we're talking to ourself in our head, but we don't see that as actually deleting most of the information. We see that as talking about the information we're receiving. Anyway, I don't know if anyone has seen that experiment. There's a video that if you look, it's about watching people pass the basketball around. And maybe I'll put the link below this video. I don't generally do that. But just count how many times the person passes the basketball. And focus on seeing if you can get the right number of passes between the people in the video. It's pretty difficult. So keep your eye on the ball. And then the next video, maybe I'll talk about the results. And this isn't new I saw this years ago, but it's just sort of illustrating this again. And I'll make more of a video later. I'm going to go have some breakfast.
I was just at a dialog and I had this sense to come in dialogue with myself about some insights I might have had. And it seems like the wind wants to talk to me too. And the spot is nice and shady. It's really warm. And I do like the warm. But it doesn't go well with technology, my phone feels like it's gonna explode, because it's so hot. Plus, the sun shines in my face, or it's shining in the screen. Blah, blah, blah. And we were talking about social responsibility, and sort of some of the debacles in the world right now. And there was this. I'm not sure I don't generally talk about dialogues I have. Because generally, I don't have dialogues with other people, but myself. So I'm not sure if I want to give the context of the dialogue or just the insight that I had. But I'm sensing that I came up with a question what happens when we don't see any problems? Because there's the whole idea about problems out in society, and what can we do about them. But if we meet another person with the background of the problems of society, we're not really meeting that other person. And if our awareness is focused on the promise of society, then that will prevent action in the moment, because we're not responding to the moment or responding to the program's of societal problems we've been trained to respond to through media. And when we have that, in our awareness, there's no way we can act fully adequately in the moment. So what happens when we don't see any problems. And that's not to say there aren't any problems. But if we're meeting the moment with past problems, we can't meet the moment and solve a problem in the moment that's actually there. We can't even see that problem, if there is one. So Krishna Murty would say the brain has to be free of all problems in order to solve problems. So if our brain is full of problems, and we meet the moment, we can't solve anything. And I wrote down that problems are just words. So I could be thinking about the words of the problems of society right now. That's just a bunch of words, and what's actual as what's right in front of me. And I think I want to go through some of it quickly, because there's so much of it, and I don't want to be editing videos too much. Maybe one a day not too. And I was thinking about thoughts and how, when our thoughts are continuously going, they lead us to sleep, just like TV noise when we're falling asleep. It'll make us go to sleep for a lot of people. Whereas if we're just about asleep, and somebody comes in the room and turns the TV on, it's gonna wake us up. So I was thinking that when there's more space between thoughts, than arising, thoughts might actually have more of a waking up effect. But when they are droning on constantly and repeating, then they actually just lowest asleep. And I was only thinking about that in terms of maybe thought appeared in evolution or in the consciousness of human beings as a warning system. And there was some element of being able to predict and think about things. But it has taken on a life of its own and established that there's this me thinking, when really, it could just be thoughts arising in consciousness that have some value if they're spaced apart. But if there's no space, it drones on. And then we're actually asleep while we're awake. Because that thought stuff is going on and our attention is on it. So we actually feel like we are awake because it is supposed to wake us up in a way. Not not supposed to supposed to. But Originally, it was to, perhaps help keep us alert. Just like somebody coming in and turning on the TV right when we're about to fall asleep. It would wake us up it'd be a jolt, but it's no longer a jolt because it's just one after another after an Another, so perhaps thought with lots of space with no thinker, so there's no problem with thought innately. But to think there's somebody thinking the thoughts. And that happens when there's no space between the thoughts. Because the non space, the constant drone creates this illusion of a thinker. Whereas if it was a thought, and then two minutes later, there's another thought there would be no thinker, there would be no constant noise for one to think that there's something thinking the thoughts. And that goes along with what Krishna already said in that talk that I was mentioning that there's nothing there. So when there's no inner when there's no internal when there's nothingness, there might be a thought, but it's not my thought. It's not I'm thinking a thought is just something external, just like the tree. And so I did kind of I did kind of see what he was saying with that. And I thought of a question, why do we meet people with all of our problems? Why do we meet people with that background? Why don't we have a blank brain? The common brain of humanity, the common consciousness? And somebody in the group said, How do I be sane in the situation? And I was thinking about that in terms of mental health. Because if everybody realized that it's hard to be seen in this situation, there might be a little bit more compassion for those people that appear to go temporarily insane. And people brought up knowing what's going on, or the need to know what's going on in the world. And I was thinking, is that really what's happening? That's what it says in the news or some media, but is that really what's happening. And even if it is, that's what's happening somewhere. And it's a very small bit of reality. And it's not even a real bit of our reality, because it's something we can't act on. In that way. It's sort of an outlier. And in science, they just ignore outliers. So perhaps it's something that it's good to be aware of that outlier. But they don't design their science and the rest of their life around the outlier. And it's an out liar is lying, and getting us to believe it. And it's not that it's not true. But the more we put our awareness on it, it's just this food that is poisonous, and it's draining our energy that we have to act on things that are actual for us. And for me, I see the hummingbirds that's actual. And that's going to change my neurophysiology and ways to see more hummingbirds in nature and, and be connected with that beauty, and see beauty and have the brain attuned to beauty instead of all the toxicity in the world. And I brought up the example of listening to the news for two hours, is not even as powerful as smiling at someone spontaneously for two seconds, because that one thing is actual, whereas the other is feeding the incapacitation. There's capacity and smiling, whereas there's incapacitation, and listening to things that we have no capacity to affect. And then we have our attention on that. And less attention on the moment where we could have some kind of effect. Its mass distraction against our own brain, we're distracted from the present moment, which is the only place we have the power to act or do anything. And the other thing too, is if we listen to the news for two hours, that is going to actually decrease the probability that we're going to smile at the next person we see. So it's going to get so distracted, that we're not in tune with our gestural apparatus, which is the thing that can actually do something. So I feel like focusing on problems decreases our responsibility in the moment our ability to respond to the moment we're responding to something programmed, it's programming and that is altering our movements. For the day we're being warped by that programming. Responsibility has nothing to do with shuffling words in one's mind. If we have a river of words, in our mind, we can't see the river and flow of light hitting our perception actually feel like words are trapped light. It's interpreted light and saving it for later in memory. And I actually realized that that's recorded holographically. So in a way as we move through reality, when we record things in our memory, we're actually putting out this algorithm of a holographic net which is Gathering the light the image as well as the sound, which is the word interpretation of what that means. And the more we do that, the more we're only seeing those interpretations overlaid on the present moment. And we're picking that out holographically. And I feel like really, we need to shed that algorithm of holographic recording, in order to have a quantum brain not having the interference of the interference pattern of the holographic memory that we have. And that's old light and old sound that is distorting our brain. Because it's old Light and Sound distorting, we can't see the relationships and possibilities and collapse wave functions. Because our wave functions are already being collapsed by the waves of light and sound that are old, the interference pattern. And I feel like when we think about social responsibility, if we think about it as problems out there, and then we can't do anything about it, we're thinking we can't do anything about it. And that transfers into the moment. And then we don't act in the moment. Because we're busy reacting to the problems that we heard on the news, which are sounds and images we recorded in our minds. If our awareness is on thought, it's away from the moment. And then that is inaction because we can't act in the moment. So thought inactivates action. And somebody asked, Where does action come from. And I feel like action goes with perception. And they are talking about action as opposed to reaction or response as action as opposed to reaction. And to me reaction is reacting to thought or acting based on thought programs, which is old. So it's re acting, acting out a program. And the question of freedom came up, and it's freedom to observe without choice, because choice is the judge, it's picking out the bits to react to. And somebody mentioned flow as non separation, and how it was seamless. And I wrote it seamless, when the one that seems seems to stop seeming. And somebody mentioned, it's superficial, to stay separate. And superficial is relating based on the images of thoughts and reacting. And I see that the depth or the deep is being with the whole totality. And being that and being as that then one is just that depth without having to think one is deep. Because the thinking is the surface and the depth is all of it everything. So in a way when we're carrying those thoughts and programs. We are that superficially, whereas if we're everything else, to the exclusion of that superfish reality, then we meet everything with that depth. And I was thinking about the Truman delusion or how some people actually feel like they're on The Truman Show when they go into math consciousness. And I was sensing that. That is when one actually connects with the fact that one is the watcher, when is the sear? One is that by which we see. But in that sort of sense, there's still a sense that I'm also that which I observe. So that's sort of when the observer is the observed. But it's a strange sensation. So we feel like maybe we're in a movie or something. We are the watcher watching ourselves. And I feel like seeing is required for response for action. And I wonder if there's a happening that happens, without saying what's happening, or what happened, and what we're seeing based on our thoughts, which is not seeing at all. We can't see the messages from nature, we can't read nature. We can't read that richness and when we can't read that richness because we're reading the past. Then that's when everything else comes in. We are each a perspective of light and life. We are all life from our ticular perspective. And we talked about looking at oneself, and I feel like, it's more like looking as the self or the oneself. And that means having a clear brain. If we all had blank brains as human beings, in terms of me and my desires and memories and stuff, we would all be able to see the same thing because we wouldn't have all these past things getting in the way. And so in that way, can we look at that oneself, that one consciousness that we all are. And I had a sense that the dialogue was also self dialogue, because it's just different aspects of the oneself talking to the oneself. And I feel like dialogues or living conversations. And it seems even in daily life, we want to share meaning. But usually, we end up having conversation about the meanings that we've been programmed to talk about, on the news or on TV and things like that, because we can't see the messages and the meaning of our daily life. And if we could see that we wouldn't talk about the past stuff and programs and, and all of this meaningless stuff that we think is meaningful, because we're bombarded with it. And we're bombarded with it. So we can't see the present moment and see the meaning in the present moment, and talk about that. And that would be dialogue. And I had the sense that human beings are dialogical creatures, or even that life is dialogical. It's having this dialogue with itself. And sharing meaning. And any interaction and communication, there has to be a sharing of some kind of meaning. Whether it's an energetic level, or subatomic level or, or biological level, there has to be this understanding, there has to be this exchange of meaning. This flow meaning yet, as humans in our daily life, we share and base it on the meaning. So the meaningless meanings we've been programmed with to talk about blind us. And that blindness prevents us from seeing meanings in the moment and sharing that. And so in terms of changing things, if we can't share meaning about the moment, nothing's gonna change. Because if we're just sharing meanings about memories and and things we're told are meaningful. They're no longer relevant. And somebody raise a question, do we need to step away from that? From our programming and image making thoughts? And I feel like there's nobody there to step away from it. But also, when we see that it we don't even step away from it, we just drop it because it has no meaning. If we saw we were carrying around a rotten egg for the last 20 years, it was so rotten. And disgusting. We wouldn't say, oh, should I hold on to it? Should I step away from it? We're just drop it. But the trouble is, we think those images and things still have some kind of meaning and value, like, oh, maybe I can sell this rotten egg on eBay, because I've been carrying it for 20 years. Maybe I need it in case one day, I'm starving. And I just happen to have this rotten egg, I can at least eat something. And I feel like again, this holographic algorithm is this net, that is recording the lights and sounds according to the past recording of light and sound. So it's just a slight variation. And it's just recording all the examples of that algorithm of what it is we're supposed to be making meaning of and those things are meaningless. Then eventually we have this accumulated life and memories of all of this meaningless stuff. And that could be the allostatic load as well. And that's it. What needs to be dropped? Is that algorithm and all the it's and seeing that that algorithm has no value for recording and dropping it with all of its recordings. And it's kind of like, why don't we see that thought equals blah? It's blah, blah, blah, blah, and it's just blah, blah, blah. And can we realize when we're speaking and acting and reacting from the blah, blah, blah? Can we get to quantum perception, it's the quantum algorithm of seeing and collapsing the wavefunction into actuality. Instead of continuing along the trajectory of dirt roads, which is dirty, light and sound, all these old dirt roads and our consciousness. And I was actually thinking about Dr. Daniel Siegel's term allostatic load. And I actually think there could be a term called hollow static load, which is the accumulated Light and Sound images that we have recorded in our brain, and how that is stressful, and it's a reaction and those reactions causing motions, which those molecules block receptors for absorbing nutrition. So by emoting based on this whole static load, we're actually destroying our body and not seeing life. The hall a static load is the me and all of us recordings. And do we know when we're speaking from our hollow static load? Or are we speaking from the quantum dynamic perception that we have the flow of light and not capturing that light not recording it because it can't be captured, it can't be recorded. If we don't record it, we're seeing something new all the time. There's always something new, even if we sat on a beach, by ourselves for the rest of our life. If we had dynamic quantum perception, we would see something new continuously. And we would be that new. Our thoughts are touching us and guiding us or misguiding us as opposed to our whole senses and perception. And I wonder do we speak quantum or do we speak Hollis static load and I feel like in order to speak quantum and dynamically we first need to see possibilities or relationship or life and speak as that life
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/bipolar_inquiry.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
