Sometimes the most profound lessons come from the most unexpected places. When Bob Saget died, the tributes revealed something that completely shifted how I think about legacy—and it's probably going to change how you think about yours too.

Here's what I was expecting: Nice tributes. People saying kind things because that's what you do when someone dies.

Here's what actually happened: Story after story of exceptional kindness. Not just "he was nice"—he was exceptionally loving. He never ended conversations without saying "I love you" at least once. He was devastatingly demonstrative with his affection.

 I want people to say the same things about me.

What legacy do YOU want to leave behind?

Ready for more??

Private Podcast: From Hypervigilant Achiever to Calm AF High Performer

The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated.

 The  Upgrade

You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me.

Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.

  Private 1:1 Coaching 

“I don’t want to figure it out, I don’t want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you.” If that’s you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.

Click here to fill out the application

Your nervous system thinks calm will actually kill you. I know it sounds backwards, but here's what nobody tells you: when you finally get the calm, regulated life you've been working toward, your system goes into overdrive looking for new chaos to manage.

In this episode, I share my client Hannah's story—how she went from drowning in research about her neurodiverse marriage to creating the calm life she wanted, only to have her nervous system immediately start looking for new problems to solve (hello, jewelry business out of nowhere).

This is the most predictable part of nervous system rewiring, and exactly why I told Hannah to give me a full year. Not because she needed more tools or information—she needed time to retrain a system that had learned chaos equals survival.

What You'll Learn

• Why your nervous system equates hypervigilance with safety
• The pattern interrupt that changed everything for Hannah
• Why "giving it a year" isn't about learning more—it's about unlearning chaos addiction
• How to recognize when you're replacing old chaos with new chaos
• The deeper truth about what real transformation actually looks like

How To Change

This is exactly what we're doing in Calm AF Year: 52 weeks of retraining your nervous system to trust calm, creating an identity where it's safe to be successful without suffering, surrounded by people learning the same thing.

Enrollment opens August 11th.

Join the Interest List. Details coming soon.

 

Ready for more??

Private Podcast: From Hypervigilant Achiever to Calm AF High Performer

The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated.

 The  Upgrade

You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me.

Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.

  Private 1:1 Coaching 

“I don’t want to figure it out, I don’t want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you.” If that’s you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.

Click here to fill out the application

Calm AF Year is a year-long experiment to see what happens when you LET your life change instead of trying hard to change your life. 

Enrollment opens August 11th. Get on the interest list here.

This is Part 2 of my conversation with Susan, one of my Calm AF clients who's been showing up relentlessly to create a life that she LOVES to live. While Part 1 was about intentions and her initial breakthrough with her Future Self, this episode dives into the practical magic that happens when you actually START LIVING these tools.

Susan shares her biggest shifts, including:

• How "Nervous System First" became her internal mantra
• Understanding the Calm AF scale and why hyper/hypo vigilance isn't a personality flaw
• The rubber band theory that will change how you think about setbacks forever
• Why feelings only last 90 seconds (but the stories can last a lifetime)
• The purple car theory in action - and how it completely transformed her 30-year marriage

This isn't theoretical bullshit. This is what it actually looks like when someone stops making everything so complicated and starts trusting the process.

 

Resources:

Private Podcast: From Hypervigilant Achiever to Calm AF High Performer

The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated.

 The  Upgrade

You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me.

Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.

 Private 1:1 Coaching 

"I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.

 

 

In episode 329, Susan shared one of her favorite questions I've ever asked her.

"SO WHAT?" Which is a good thing because "So What?" is one of my very favorite questions to ask my clients.

Not only does it shake them out of their spin a little bit, it also helps them see the situation for what it usually is: SIMPLE.

In this bonus episode, I share a recent story of a client who got cast as the "Keeper of the Peace" in her husband's family and the beautiful (if not uncomfortable) moment when this simple 2-word question broke her brain in the best possible way.

What You'll Learn

• Why "scary" and "complicated" are two completely different things
• The difference between feeling your feelings and making sh*t harder than it needs to be
• Why other people's inability to handle their own emotions is NOT your emergency
• How to stop being everyone's emotional support animal
• The power of "So what?" as a life-changing question

Calm AF Year is a year-long experiment to see what happens when you LET your life change instead of trying hard to change your life. 

Enrollment opens August 11th. Get on the interest list here.

Episode 329

Back in 2021/2022, Susan was doing what lots of you are doing right now. Listening to this podcast, nodding along, feeling seen, knowing that something about this Kristen lady felt SO right.... but still white-knuckling her way through life. Still managing everyone's feelings. Still exhausted from being the person everyone depends on.

Then she made one decision that changed everything. She heard about a calm AF coaching program I was offering and decided to stop nodding along and take action. She reached out, invested in her future self WITH a very important promise to her (future) self:

"This is the last thing I'm going to try. This is going to work."

Four years later? Same house, same husband, same kids - but a radically different human.

And she did NOT transform every single area of her life by working harder. She did it by doing the opposite.

In this episode, Susan shares the very first step she took to stop performing her life and start actually living it.

If you're tired of being anxious, tired of overthinking everything, tired of barely holding it together while managing everyone else's chaos - this conversation is for you.

Get on the Calm AF Year interest list  to get details. 

 

Resources:

Private Podcast: From Hypervigilant Achiever to Calm AF High Performer

The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated.

 The  Upgrade

You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me.

Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.

 Private 1:1 Coaching 

"I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.

You want to stop carrying everyone else's shit...physical, emotional and energetic?? Calm AF Year is coming. 

Enrollment opens August 11th. It's a year-long experiment to experience how much lighter and calmer you can feel when when you stop accumulating everyone else's stuff and start protecting your own energy. Get on the interest list here.

Ever feel like you're carrying invisible weight? Like you're soul-tired even when your schedule isn't that crazy? That heaviness you can't explain has a name: energetic clutter.

Welcome to Part 4 of our Internal Clutter series, where we tackle the sneakiest drawer of all - the one filled with everyone else's emotional stuff.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

• Why you feel heavy even when life is good
• How to recognize what's yours vs. what you've absorbed from others
• The sneaky ways energetic clutter builds up in your system
• Why being an "energetic sponge" leaves you feeling depleted
• Simple practices to clear your energetic space
• How environmental energy imprints affect your daily life
• The real impact of digital emotional overload
• Practical ways to protect your energy without becoming cold or disconnected

Key Takeaways:

"You're not just tired because life is hard. You're tired because you're carrying years of accumulated emotional debris that was never yours to begin with."

Most of the energetic clutter weighing you down isn't even yours. Every anxious person you encounter deposits a little anxiety in your system. Every tense conversation leaves residue. Every chaotic environment you walk through leaves some of its chaos behind.

This stuff compounds over time, which is why the heaviness feels more obvious as life goes on. You're not just feeling what you absorbed today - you're carrying the buildup of years of taking on everyone else's emotional stuff.

This Episode is Perfect for You If:

• You feel drained after certain conversations or being around specific people
• You walk into rooms and immediately pick up on the "energy" or tension
• You feel overwhelmed after scrolling social media for just a few minutes
• You're tired in a way that sleep doesn't fix
• You can't figure out why you feel heavy when nothing particularly bad happened
• You suspect you're carrying emotional weight that isn't yours

Previous Episodes in the Internal Clutter Series:

• (325) Part 1: Naming the Problem - Your Internal Junk Drawers Are Overflowing
• (326)Part 2: Mental Clutter - The 47 Open Tabs in Your Brain
• (327) Part 3: Emotional Clutter - The Feelings You've Shoved Down for Years

Get on the Calm AF Year interest list  to get details. 

 

Resources:

Private Podcast: From Hypervigilant Achiever to Calm AF High Performer

The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated.

 The  Upgrade

You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me.

Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.

 Private 1:1 Coaching 

"I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.

 

Sign up for the Calm AF Year waitlist  here 

Ever feel like emotions hit you out of nowhere? You're driving to work and suddenly sobbing, or you feel rage after someone does something slightly annoying? 

Friend...your emotional junk drawer is overflowing.

In this episode, I'm diving deep into the invisible emotional clutter we've been shoving down our entire lives and why it's stealing your energy, blocking your joy, and keeping you from living fully.

What You'll Learn:

• The signs your emotional junk drawer is full and overflowing
• Why we were taught to stuff emotions down (and why it's not your fault)
• What's actually cluttering up your emotional space right now
• The cost of carrying decades of unprocessed feelings
• My simple "feelings room" technique for emotional decluttering
• How to stop adding new emotional clutter to your system

Resources:

Private Podcast: From Hypervigilant Achiever to Calm AF High Performer

The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated.

 The  Upgrade

You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me.

Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.

 Private 1:1 Coaching 

"I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.

If you're so smart, WHY does your brain feel like a junk drawer that's been stuffed so full you can barely get it open?

In this episode, we're talking about what's actually cluttering up your mental junk drawer  and why the same brain that got you where you are might be what's trapping you there.

We're talking about:

• The 4 types of mental clutter that high performers collect (and why you can't think your way out of it)
• Why more thinking leads to more uncertainty, not more clarity
• The simple 4-step process to start cleaning out your mental junk drawer today
• How to stop drowning in your own competence

This isn't about productivity hacks or morning routines. This is about clearing the noise so you can hear yourself think again.

Sign up for the Calm AF Year waitlist here

Resources:

Private Podcast: From Hypervigilant Achiever to Calm AF High Performer

The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated.

 The  Upgrade

You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me.

Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.

 Private 1:1 Coaching 

"I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.

Feeling overwhelmed by racing thoughts, emotional overload, and constantly absorbing everyone else's energy?

You're not broken - you just have some internal junk drawers that are overflowing.

In this episode, we explore the three invisible junk drawers in your mind: mental, emotional, and energetic clutter that's been accumulating for years.

You'll also learn why trying to fix the problem from the outside fails and the daily maintenance approach that actually works for lasting calm.

Sign up for the Calm AF Year waitlist here

Resources:

Private Podcast: From Hypervigilant Achiever to Calm AF High Performer

The simplest first step is the free, private podcast series. This 9-episode audio workshop lays the groundwork for the skills necessary to get regulated and stay regulated.

 The  Upgrade

You want to skip the struggle of DIY and get direct access to expertise? How high performer of you! The Upgrade is 90 days of guided transformation which includes a little bit of on-your-own-time work combined with direct access to me.

Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get coaching with me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens.

 Private 1:1 Coaching 

"I don't want to figure it out, I don't want to search for the answers. I want to skip past the line and get it directly from you." If that's you, YOU want private coaching. You are past needing to do things on your own, you want a seasoned expert by your side. This isn’t about support in the margins. This is a full-access container for your biggest growth and boldest goals. And unless you’re planning on me moving in with you, this is as close to me as it gets.

You’re the one everyone turns to when things go sideways.

You stay calm when the stakes are high.

You SHINE under pressure.

So why are you so burned out?

In this episode of Calm AF, I’m breaking down the real reason high achievers feel like they’re constantly putting out fires—and why your nervous system can’t seem to turn off, even when there’s nothing actually burning.

We’re talking about:

• Why hypervigilance isn’t the secret to your success

• What firefighters can teach you about calm under pressure

• How your nervous system turns minor stress into five-alarm panic

• The identity trap of being “the one who holds it all together”

• Why regulating BEFORE the pressure hits is the actual flex

If you're tired of living like every moment is an emergency, this episode will feel like a permission slip and a wake-up call.

Links & Resources:

• The Upgrade 90 days of guided transformation—from hyper achiever to Calm AF high performer. Every week, you’ll get a focused lesson to keep you on track as you master nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. You also get direct access to me via Voxer—for quick, personalized coaching as life happens. 

• Secret Podcast: HyperAchiever to High Performer A free audio series to help you make the transition from an overwhelmed overachiever to a regulated, calm AF high performer.

• Come say hi on Instagram: @kristenfinch10

• Subscribe + leave a review if this episode landed with you