Change takes consistency. If you'd love a gentle nudge each day to stay on track while you're creating new patterns, grab my Daily Love Letters

In this episode, we're revisiting one of the most resonant topics here at Calm AF: The Energy Manager.

If you're the calm, capable one everyone relies on...you can read a room, smooth over tension, and keep everyone's emotions balanced with one hand behind your back, but YOU are slowly losing your light..this is for you.

We're gonna break down how being "fine" on the outside while managing everyone else's emotional temperature isn't emotional intelligence, it's a survival pattern. And it's exhausting. We talk about what it looks like and what actually changes when you stop energy managing...where you feel the microshift in the room and instead of running toward it, you sit there. You let it be uncomfortable. You let THEM be uncomfortable. And eventually, your body learns that the firehose won't kill you.

Over the next couple months, we're diving deep into Energy Manager recovery. Subscribe so you don't miss a single episode because this pattern doesn't just go away on its own (unless everyone in your life suddenly becomes perfectly chill forever, which... sure, Jan).

Get support

Calibration call: This isn't ongoing coaching. It's a single, focused recalibration session designed to get you clear when you find yourself stuck. Learn more here.

Private coaching: I work privately with a small number of clients who are tired of losing time and energy to overthinking, second-guessing, and energy managing. This is a high-level engagement for people who are operating at a high level and want to stop feeling like it's fragile. Find details and complete application here.

Love letters: You need daily reminders if you want to shift your identity. I've got you. All you have to do is open the email and read. Sign up for Daily Love Letters

I am nipping some unhelpful thinking in the bud in this episode. YOU ARE NOT BEHIND. Just because you haven't solidified a plan or taken major action the first two weeks of January doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.

January comes with these absurd and unrealistic expectations that we should already have our goals mapped out, habits in place, and our "new self" fully activated. But that's not how it works.

In episode 343, I'm sharing why this season is better suited for reflection and getting oriented than performance and how identity creates habits (not the other way around)

If you're already feeling behind, rushed, or disconnected from your goals this convo is for you.

Get support

Calibration call: This isn't ongoing coaching. It's a single, focused recalibration session designed to get you clear when you find yourself stuck. Learn more here.

Private coaching: I work privately with a small number of clients who are tired of losing time and energy to overthinking, second-guessing, and energy managing. This is a high-level engagement for people who are operating at a high level and want to stop feeling like it's fragile. Find details and complete application here.

From the outside, you look steady.

People trust you. You handle shit. You neverrrrr let them see you sweat.

Inside, though, your mind doesn't stop.

Your constantly replaying conversations and second guessing decisions that you've already spent forever trying to make.

And you think that, surely by now, you'd be past this level of doubt.

This episode is for high-functioning, high-achieving people who aren't lacking confidence or skill but are exhausted from the constant mental vigilance.

We're talking about:

• Why overthinking increases after success, not before

• How managing perception erodes self-trust

• Why calm isn't about relaxing

• What it really means when things suddenly feel harder again

Get support

Calibration call: This isn't ongoing coaching. It's a single, focused recalibration session designed to get you clear when you find yourself stuck. Learn more here.

Private coaching: I work privately with a small number of clients who are tired of losing time and energy to overthinking, second-guessing, and energy managing. This is a high-level engagement for people who are operating at a high level and want to stop feeling like it's fragile. Find details and complete application here.

Get the full Future Self Course for $26

As we close out 2025, this episode is an invitation to pause before you plan.

If the year felt beautiful—amazing. And if it felt heavy, disorienting, or unfinished—you're not alone.

Instead of starting the new year with goals, strategies, or fixing yourself, this episode begins where real change actually starts: identity.

In this episode, I'm sharing Step One from my Future Self Course: Dream Big.

Not as a vision board exercise. Not as wishful thinking. And not as a plan.

But as a necessary first step in identity creation.

Inside this lesson, we explore:

• Why starting with how keeps you stuck in your old identity

• How "being realistic" often means shrinking your desires before you begin

• Why getting your hopes up is not irresponsible—it's clarifying

• How dreaming big gives direction before you ever need a strategy

This lesson is about permission. Permission to want what you want. Permission to imagine without editing. Permission to let the next version of you come into focus.

Want the Full Future Self Experience?

This episode is one lesson from the full Future Self Course, and to celebrate 2026, you can get the entire experience for $26.

You'll receive:

• The complete Future Self course

• A private podcast version you can listen to anytime

• The accompanying workbook to integrate the work

Learn more and get instant access at calmAF.com.

Let this be the year you stop shrinking what you want—and start becoming who you already know you're here to be.

The week between Christmas and New Year's—what I call the holiday vortex—is your secret weapon for creating a calm, focused, and successful start to 2025.

In this episode, I'll show you why rest is the most productive thing you can do and how using this unique time strategically can help you achieve more without burnout.

You'll learn how to break free from the productivity treadmill, rewire your nervous system, and step into the new year with clarity, confidence, and joy.

If you're an ambitious high achiever ready to thrive without exhaustion, this episode is for you.

Work with me:

Private Coaching: This is High-touch, personalized support designed to help you regulate your nervous system, build resilience, and achieve big goals without burnout. My clients don't need me to teach them, they need me to help them calibrate so they can move further and faster in the most efficient and effective way.

Get daily reminders to live your life as the main character HERE.

What if you approached your own life with the same intentionality a screenwriter brings to their main character?

In this episode, we're talking about why so many high-achievers are living like background characters in their own story AND how to step into the lead role.

You'll learn:

• Why identity always precedes behavior (and why most people get this backwards)
• The difference between writing yourself from the inside out vs. the outside in
• How one client became "a person who exercises every day" without willpower or discipline
• Why change feels so hard when you're operating from the wrong identity
• The Rewrite Method: seeing your life cinematically and showing up with intention

This isn't about fake-it-til-you-make-it or toxic positivity. It's about understanding that every moment is a scene, and you get to choose who you're becoming in real time.

If you've been waiting for permission, clarity, or motivation to make a change, this episode will show you why the shift starts with identity first, action second.

If I could go back and tell my younger self something, it would be this: Figure out what really matters in life. Figure out what, at the end of your life, made it a life well lived. And then figure out HOW to not forget it.

(This episode is a replay from 2023)

Here's the EASIEST way: Daily Love Letters

Change takes consistency. If you'd love a gentle nudge each day to stay on track while you're creating new patterns, grab my Daily Love Letters

Every morning, get a love letter in your inbox – a daily reminder that you aren't here to be a perfect human before you can enjoy this amazing, precious life you've been gifted.

These aren't another thing for your to-do list. They're daily permission slips to prioritize what makes everything else easier.

Each love letter:

• Takes less than 2 minutes to read
• Ensures the FIRST neural pathway you travel each day is one of joy
• Reminds you that work doesn't HAVE to be hard
• Helps you remember that lightening up makes you more productive

[GET LOVE LETTERS]

In today's episode of Calm AF, we're diving deep into one of the most harmful modern mindsets: the belief that you have to fix yourself before you can enjoy your life. If you've ever felt like you need to check off a to-do list before you're allowed to relax or be happy — this episode is your reminder to stop fixing yourself to be happy.

Inspired by a love letter from my private podcast, this "spiel" explores why you don't need to earn joy, peace, or worthiness. You're not a project — you're a human being living a once-in-a-lifetime experience. And that means you deserve to love your life right now, not after the next goal, hack, or habit tracker.

🧠 What You'll Learn:

• Why constant self-improvement can actually keep you stuck

• The difference between desire-based transformation and shame-driven change

• How to stop treating your life like a never-ending project

• The truth about the to-do list that never ends

• How to actually enjoy your life — while still growing and evolving

💌 Subscribe to Daily Love Letters:

Get a mindset reset every morning — no extra effort, no fixing required. ➡️ Subscribe here

Get Daily Reminders to rewire your nervous system and mindset patterns.

You say you want peace. You say you're ready to stop overthinking, people-pleasing, and spinning out.

So why does your brain keep dragging you back into suffering — even when life gives you a moment to breathe?

In this episode, we're talking about the ways we argue against our own peace — and how we fight harder to stay stuck than to change.

You'll learn why familiar thoughts like:

• "I'm not good enough."

• "Life's harder for me."

• "People always let me down."

…feel so true — and how to stop identifying with them.

We'll talk about:

• Why your brain clings to old suffering stories — even when they hurt

• How to recognize when you're defending pain instead of choosing peace

• A nervous system practice to shift out of mental spiraling

• Tools to build evidence for your peaceful, grounded identity — one thought at a time

Because your peace doesn't begin when life gets easier — it begins when you stop fighting for your suffering.

Get Daily Reminders delivered to your inbox every day. Because change doesn't happen because you want it to. It happens becuase you choose yourself. Every single day.

Why does your brain keep pulling you back into the same thought loops — even when you want to change? In this episode, I'm breaking down the real science of neural pathway rewiring, and why motivation isn't the answer.

You'll learn:

• Why your brain defaults to familiar (not better) pathways

• A simple, effective way to rewire old patterns

• What to do in the moment when you catch yourself thinking the old story

• Why reminders and repetition are the keys to lasting change

• How long it really takes to shift your brain's default setting

This isn't about willpower — it's about working with your brain, not against it.

Want Daily Reminders While You Rewire?

Get daily love letters here.