In this week's episode, I interviewed my dear friend and celebrity wellness expert Elise Joan. @elisejoanofficial

Elise shared the value of the Calm & Confident podcast in her life, and how she has navigated transitional times. We dove into her beliefs on reducing stress in life, including the stress caused by overly restrictive fitness and nutrition standards.

She wants women, especially over the age of 30, to know that living with joy, and connecting with community is as important as finding movement that you love, and nutrition that is nourishing.

Elise has studied with the top longevity experts in the world, including doctors from Harvard Medical School. She said that muscle is the fountain of youth, but that strength training does not need to be punishing on your body to work. She believes in body weight resistance training and shorter, consistent workouts.

You can enjoy free resources, such as eating for vitality, guided meditations, breath work, and fitness on her newly-launched app called "The Ageless Protocol."

• Why stress—not food or missed workouts—is one of the biggest threats to women's health

• How hustle culture has shaped (and harmed) women's approach to fitness and aging

• Why traditional fitness advice doesn't work for women—especially over 30

• How to move your body in ways that build strength, protect joints, and support longevity

• The importance of joy, community, and emotional regulation in long-term health

• Why muscle is the "fountain of youth"—and how to build it without punishing workouts

• How Elise navigates life transitions with creativity, alignment, and self-trust

• What it truly means to nourish your body, mind, and soul

"Longevity should be a lifestyle we enjoy—not a punishment we have to endure." - Elise Joan

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In this episode, I shared a lesson about accepting all of your past chapters. We all had parts of our lives that we'd rather not revisit – decisions we made, places we went, or people we surrounded ourselves with that did not bring out our best selves. Those chapters – whether they lasted months or years, still shaped the person we are today. When we hold onto worry, shame or regret, it's hard to show up as our most energetic selves today. We are our entire life, we are all of our chapters. We are all the pages that have been written. When we accept it all, we are able to love ourselves and others more deeply and continue to learn and grow.

• Each chapter of life brings challenges and opportunities to grow. We make choices and we move forward. It all shapes and molds us.

• Loving the whole book of yourself means accepting all of the previous versions of you – as a student, or a young professional, or spouse or parent or leader on your journey.

• Your earlier versions might have been "less" of what you are now. You might be "more" confident, more authentic, more bold, more trustworthy, more kind, more wise. But all the versions matter.

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In this must-listen episode to start the New Year, I shared my most powerful lesson of 2025. This is not about resolutions, or regrets. It's about reflection. Tune in to hear the one lesson that shaped my life and work the most. I'll share tips, examples, stories and gems to help you take my top lesson and implement it into your life for greater ease and joy. Then I shared my unique strategy for planning and dreaming for the best year to come. You'll take an inventory (through your photos and calendar) of what brought you joy, happiness, peace and growth in 2025. You'll add it to your "keep list." You'll take note of what did not make your list and you'll make commitments accordingly. You'll know what to say "yes or no" to. You'll flip the page and create a new bucket list for 2026 – financial goals, trips, adventures, projects, hobbies, simple daily activities that you'd like to add to your life in the year to come. Enjoy, friends

"Turn up the volume on your own intuition, and when it goes right, you'll celebrate, and when it goes wrong, you'll know you're capable of fixing it or getting through it, but at least you listened to what your gut, your instinct, your inner voice was trying to guide you toward" -Trina

• Why intuition is one of your most powerful decision-making tools

• The difference between certainty and clarity—and why clarity is enough

• How to listen to your inner voice without overanalyzing or overexplaining

• A simple, practical method to reflect on your past year and plan the next

• How to intentionally design your year while leaving room for the unexpected

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In this episode, I shared a phrase that we are all familiar with: "The little things are the big things." I first heard this advice as a young mom. Older parents often reminded me to cherish the small moments with my kids, not just the big vacations for birthday parties. I listened, even when life was busy. I paid more attention to conversation in the car, going out for pancakes, taking a walk together with the dogs. These smaller moments made up my life as a mom. The same can be true in marriage or friendship – the kind text message or note by the coffee pot – those small acts of kindness build a better life. So as we enter the holiday season – however you celebrate – it's a powerful lesson to hold onto. It is easy to get run over by big commitments, travel, parties or other obligations. Let's ground ourselves with some of the simple, small things that we enjoy – enjoying coffee by the fireplace and stockings, listening to your favorite holiday music on a walk, sitting down to do a puzzle or a game as a family, or making a special recipe that you love.

"I challenge you to think of a couple of the little things that you've always enjoyed around the holidays, maybe some things that have been forgotten.…What are the little things that you want to do, or you want to get back to that maybe you've lost sight of." - Trina

• Why small moments often create the biggest impact in relationships

• How revisiting simple holiday traditions can bring peace and joy

• Ways to stay grounded during busy seasons of work and life

• How small acts of kindness can strengthen personal and professional connections

• Why the "little things" mindset applies far beyond the holidays

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In this episode, I shared a recent Instagram post called: "Awards that you're trying to win that simply don't exist." My daughter shared this with me from @womenwhotype. I loved the concept and dove deeper into each of these false awards, as well as how to avoid the temptation to earn it, and what to do instead. It's a quick, fun listen. You are worthy just as you are. Feeling accomplished feels good. But burnout, and overwhelm are not the right path.

"I guarantee you there is someone in your life that would be willing to help if you'd ask, and be willing to kind of let go of some of the reins and say, I could use help with this piece of it this year, I would love it if you would take on this part of it this year, give it a try, because we've established that there's no award for not asking for help." - Trina

Key points:

• These awards exist in our minds, but not in real life. Going after them will only lead to burnout or let down: Never Said No, Didn't Take Breaks, Didn't Need Help, Didn't Make Mistakes, Most Perfect, Worked the Longest

• Mistakes, imperfection, and reasonable limits are normal; your worth isn't measured by flawless performance or endless hours, but by showing up with conviction, authenticity, and balance.

• Asking for help at home, at work, and especially during the holidays allows you to go farther and feel less overwhelmed.

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In this episode, I shared 12 commitments directly from my 2025 Calm & Confident planner. Let this serve as a road map to a better life. This will feel like a "best of" edition of my favorite, foundational life lessons — some that I've shared in more depth on this podcast and some that I have not. I know that a few of these commitments will resonate with you, and you'll know it when you hear it. Grab onto those lessons and take them in, work them around in your mind, and put them to work. Some of the lessons will not speak to you as much – good. You need to know your own life, thoughts, struggles and strengths. Know what you need to work on. You'll find it here. To get on the list for my upcoming 2026 planner, visit TrinaGray.com

"Learning to live with heart truly caring about other people, putting yourself out to other people, letting other people care about you, letting other people love you, letting other people see you, be willing to put yourself out as your true self, and letting people accept you and love you, knowing that at times, those same people will do something or say something that might hurt you, and we can handle it because we can live with both heart and armor." - Trina

Key points:

• I talk about the importance of personal responsibility—from setting things down that no longer serve me, to taking ownership of my life, to seeking less approval from others.

• I highlight how I manage overwhelm by making small decisions, letting go of perfectionism, and reducing the influence of outside opinions.

• I reflect on the natural swing of life's pendulum, the need for a lighter mind, and the understanding that change can look different and still be right for the season I'm in.

• I end the episode by encouraging myself and others to lean into the commitments that resonate most, embracing the balance of living with both heart and armor.

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In this episode, I shared three simple ways to calm down when your thoughts are running wild in your head in the middle of the day, or the middle of the night. Our day is made up of our thoughts. When we choose better thoughts, we choose a better day for ourselves. However, many things want to take us off track — headlines, social media feeds, other people's words and actions, or everyday life challenges. How can you take back control of your thoughts, and redirect your energy? How can you shut down intrusive thoughts and find a place of calm? How can you let things roll off your back? How can you focus on what matters most? Give this episode a listen and let's find calm together.

"I remind myself that I trust myself. I love that concept. I trust myself that even if I struggle, I will figure it out. Even if I make what turns out to be the wrong choice, the bad choice, the wrong hire, the wrong decision, I'll fix it." - Trina

Key points:

• Try out the 4-7-8 breathing technique when you need to immediately snap yourself out of a stressful situation, or a repeating, intrusive thought, or when you're struggling to focus or sleep. It's rooted in ancient yoga and it works.

• Find a mantra that speaks to you in your phrase of life right now. Whether you need to find motivation, process grief or get through a challenging time, there is a quote or mantra out there to help you. Find one and repeat it to yourself when you are spiraling with your thoughts.

• You can find more calm and show up with more energy, when the past 72 hours or your life have been made up of healthy habits. Your past three days of sleep, nutrition and fitness really impact how you feel right now.

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In this episode, I shared a method that I learned more than a decade ago from my mentor Todd Durkin, for "color coding" your life. I have tweaked it and adapted it over the years to fit my life as a working mom. This can work for you as a college student, working professional, or retiree. Take my tips, tricks and examples and make this your own. This system is an easy way to create more harmony in your life by ensuring that all four colors are represented in your month. In order to be responsible adults, we need "red tape" time to handle the logistics of life and our households, we also need "green machine" time to be productive in our work or career. In order not to burnout, we need "mellow yellow" time to relax, unwind and spend quality time with loved ones. Last, but not least, we need "blue sky time" in order to dream about our future. This is time to brainstorm, visualize, listen, or think, but not do.

"When you run your own day, you run your own life....I was busy this week. I was running. But what did I do? I don't want you to get to the end of your week feeling depleted, deflated, running rampant. I want you and I want myself to get to the end of the week feeling productive, feeling rejuvenated, even feeling successful." - Trina

Key points:

• Red Tape: logistics

Health care appointments, book travel, pay bills, organize kids' schedules, vet appt, car care, household chores, prep for a holiday, plan a family event,

• Green Machine: work (or school or pursuit)

Examples: work tasks, goals, deadlines, initiatives, projects, write, create, manage, lead, produce

• Mellow Yellow: down time, personal time

Examples: Hike, workout, date night, coffee with friend, read a book, watching a sporting event, dinner and a movie

• Blue sky: dreaming, not doing

Examples: Listen to a podcast, journal, make a vision dream board, talk to significant about future goals, meditate, dream about the future

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In this episode, I talked you through five tips or strategies for dealing with hateful words or rude people. It's not glorious, but it's a real part of life and one that I want to help you handle better. If you've been on the receiving end of rude comments, or personal attacks, this is for you. If you've had people launch mean words at your workplace, your organization, your leadership or you as a person, this is for you. I hope this helps you feel empowered. Haters are trying to hurt with their words. It often comes from a place of hurt. Instead of trying to figure them out, use these tips to decide your best action. This episode is about you, not them.

"Life is good, life is hard, life is great, life is ugly. It is both the goal is to move through the struggle faster, not to sit in it, not to dwell in it, not to become it." - Trina

Key points:

• First consider, what is the energy cost of getting involved in addressing the issue?

• Be proactive, not reactive. Your first reaction isn't your best reaction.

• Let people be wrong about you. Can you learn to live with people having the wrong idea about you or your organization? Is it worth it to fight it? Will it change anything?

• Learn to communicate as your higher self. Don't communicate as a bully; don't shrink yourself and become silent. Instead, communicate as your most calm, confident self. Speak with candor, speak with clarity. Put the truth out and let people who want to hear it, hear it.

• Know that you are deserving of hard feelings, but do those feelings serve you.

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In this episode, I talked you through an eye-opening journaling exercise that can truly help you thrive in life. I shared the experiences of hosting a local Calm & Confident Fall Retreat for 20 women and this part of the weekend was one of the most impactful. I had the women write and share on when they are thriving in life. I'm asking you to consider that question – what is the state of your health, your relationships, your energy, your career, your friendships when you are most thriving in life? Have you noticed, or can you start to pay attention? Even if you are in a state of struggle or transition, be open to thriving through those seasons, rather than wait for the stars to align.

"What does that trust look like in your life? Is that trust in your faith? Is that trust in yourself? Is that trust in the people closest to you, or maybe all of the above, is that trust in your future? Is that trust in your abilities, some level of trust, I believe is required in order to be thriving in life, because we feel safe, we feel secure, we feel competent, we feel strong. I want you to think about that. What does that look like in your life?" - Trina

Key points:

• Trust Is Foundational: Trust in oneself, others, and the future is essential for truly thriving in life, as it brings safety, security, competence, and strength.

• Thriving Looks Different for Everyone: The retreat participants discovered that their sense of thriving could stem from task completion, the happiness of loved ones, or prioritizing personal wellness.

• External vs. Internal Thriving: Linking your sense of thriving solely to external achievements or others' happiness can be limiting; true thriving is cultivated from within, independent of perfect circumstances.

• Thriving Through Challenges: Rather than waiting for everything to be settled, the idea of "thriving through" difficulties encourages agency, resilience, and personal growth even during setbacks.

• Self-Reflection Promotes Growth: Regularly reflecting on your health, work clarity, relationships, and level of trust enables you to identify what helps you thrive and empowers you to bring your best energy to all aspects of life.

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