We genuinely did not know a color could be that dark. At this point, the government should bottle it, classify it, and use it for national defense.

Also—important medical update—smelling your own farts is actually good for you. Science said so. Probably.

And whatever you do, never eat anything sugar-free before a major life event (weddings, funerals, court dates, space launches), because it will fling open the intestinal gates like Helm’s Deep.

PLUS much more wisdom no one asked for, but everyone desperately needed.

This year’s “trending” porn fetishes are… a journey. From pit porn to pegging, it’s giving we’d like to unsubscribe from Humanity, thanks.

Meanwhile, Pamela Anderson is catching heat for going makeup-free, and we’re like: mind your own damn business and let the woman live! (Although… okay, a tiny bit of mascara never hurt anybody.)

PLUS a whole lot more!

Cane had a near-death experience and has returned with a fresh zest for life… which is adorable, and also something we’ll be taking bets on.

Also: it’s an escalator. It has one job. Stand there. Let it do the math. YOU IDIOT!

But hey—proof there are still good people in this world: someone stepped in, saved the day, and now he can finally retire.

PLUS: so much more chaos, questionable decisions, and accidental heroism.

Is a slice of American history about to fade to black? Is MTV actually closing up shop?! Kevan Kenney drops in to spill the real MTV dirt—plus a whole lot more

We celebrate the life and pay tribute to our angel, Sister Robyn!

It’s “Free-for-All Friday,” and as usual the studio is crawling with our favorite lovable menaces. If you’ve ever wondered what childbirth really feels like, just try the “Butt Baby”—because nothing says love like heroically delivering a deluxe, emotionally supportive dump. We also dive into a round of “Real or Fake,” and trust me… that’s just the beginning!

We might not fully grasp DEI hiring… but whatever this is, it’s definitely the director’s cut.
Best Friend Russ jumps in to bless us with yet another one of Cane’s legendary d-bag moments.
Then we take a scenic detour down “What Terrible Things Did Supposedly Good People Do Once They Died?” boulevard… plus a whole lot more chaos!

The shenanigans hit an all-time high today. There is a real housekeeping competition happening—like, with actual competitors—and we are absolutely living for it. We also questioned some of the names people give their kids… and honestly, some of them need to just be sounded out. PLUS so much more chaos!

Cane makes a solid point — no band ever plays the hits at the top of the show unless they want everyone to beat traffic. We also dive into our favorite pastime: finding reasons to hate celebrities that everyone else worships. And Corey once again defends his daily bidet routine like it’s a religion. 💦

All that… and way too much more!

A guy just broke a world record for masturbating—nearly 10 hours straight.
And get this: he said he beat his old record. Bro, that’s dedication… and chafing.

Apparently, his girlfriend left him because his member was too big.
Like, imagine being dumped for being overqualified. Don’t we all wish that’s why we got left?

And in other news, Oprah released her list of “things nobody actually needs,”
like glasses that don’t fog up while reading in the shower.
Who the hell is reading in the shower?! If you’re doing that, I don’t think steam’s your biggest problem.

Stay tuned — there’s so much more nonsense where that came from!