Clarity on Fire

It's Rachel's birthday! And if you've been following along, you know that also means that today she's giving herself, and you, a big gift … the first chapter of Forever Alone: One introverted millennial's half-agonizing, half-hopeful journey through singledom.

I've watched her pour a ton of time and energy into this—it's been a true labor of love! I'm just as excited as you to listen in (because she hasn't let me yet, haha).

Even though I haven't heard it yet, I know for sure it's going to be relevant to more than just single folks (though you should definitely share with your single friends). Knowing Rachel, she's found a way to make it hit home for just about anyone who wants something that they haven't yet figured out how to get. And also knowing Rachel, it'll be funny and snarky and poignant and inspiring, in equal measure.

I asked her to give me a preview of what's in this chapter, and she said she's getting into:

• The difference between seeing her singledom as her "fault" vs. her "responsibility"
• Why wanting love is different than not wanting to be alone
• The first movie that broke her heart, and all the couples she's been obsessed with over the years
• Her inner debate over whether her expectations and standards are too high
• …and a LOT more.

This episode is available on the Clarity on Fire podcast feed, but we'd love it if you subscribed to the Forever Alone feed and listened there (then hit her up with a 5-star rating and review, of course) wherever you get your podcasts: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, Amazon, and YouTube.

You can also hit reply to this email to wish Rachel a happy birthday, or you can comment or send her a direct message on the Forever Alone site, if you want to share your reaction to Chapter 1!

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So … I did a thing. A BIG thing. And since it's my (well, our) podcast, I'm allowed to make Kristen interview me about the big thing I've done. ;)

Back in January, when Kristen and I were trying out (and massively resisting) The Artist's Way, an idea fell nearly fully formed, into my lap:

I want to create my own podcast about my ridiculously long, weird, confusing, painstaking journey through singledom. I knew immediately how I wanted it to sound, what stories I wanted to tell, what the art could look like, what the chapters would be called … I just needed to sit down and actually make it.

The idea was so potent that it wouldn't let me sleep, for nights in a row, until I started writing it all down—it poured out, almost faster than I could keep up with.

I've been working on it in fits and bursts ever since, and next Wednesday, August 18—my birthday, as a matter of fact—I'm dropping the first episode of my new miniseries, Forever Alone: One introverted millennial's half-agonizing, half-hopeful journey through singledom.

Kristen got to treat me like a "normal person" this month, so listen in as she and I talk about…

• How not getting something you want for years on end can drive you a little crazy, and make you question everything you think you know about yourself, and how life works.
• Why this podcast sounds like it's about dating and relationships, but it's really about reconciling with BIG things—existential crises, anxiety and depression, belief in something bigger than yourself, what you want out of your career and life, and who you want to be as a human.
• How the creative process unfolded for me, and why it felt critical to tell this story now.
• What I hope you will get out of hearing me work through my fears and feelings.

Come leave a comment after you've listened to share how this one resonated with you, or just share some excitement about this new chapter in my journey! ☺

And if you'd like to make me very happy, please go subscribe now to Forever Alone wherever you listen to podcasts, and get ready to enjoy on Wednesday!

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Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, our monthly advice segment where we answer listener questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.

This month we answered questions from:

• Your Biggest Man Fan, who has achieved some pretty spectacular things in life: Climbing out of poverty, losing 130 pounds, and being married for 20 years, to name a few! But now that his weight loss has stabilized and he's no longer climbing the ladder at a corporate job, he's finding it hard to enjoy his success—How do you feel good about yourself when you're no longer measuring your progress with numbers and metrics?
• Heartbroken & Confused, whose trust in her husband has been shattered after learning he's been lying to her for three years about something very significant. He doesn't understand why she's so upset … is she crazy for making a big deal out of it?

We choose to answer just two questions this time, because we knew we'd have a LOT to say. Come leave a comment after you've listened to share how our advice for these listeners resonated with you.

Want to submit a question for our Septmeber episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form and you might hear us tackle your Q!

LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT

Dear Krachel: Should I trust my boyfriend's words or his actions? (November 2018)

Dear Krachel: Is being myself going to turn people off? (May 2019)

Dear Krachel: Am I doomed to grow bored of all my partners? (September 2019)

Side Chat: 7 signs that you're in denial (September 2019)

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Honing your intuition is one of the most important parts of getting clear on who you are, what you want, and where you're headed. Without it, you're like a GPS with bad reception — you're not going to get very clear guidance, and you may end up driving in circles.

But honing your intuition can take time and practice, so sometimes it's nice to piggyback off of another GPS you can trust, even if it's just long enough to check your directions.

So, in that spirit, here's another Message from the Universe episode for you! Tune in if you need a little clarity, guidance, or just a fun pick-me-up.

Today we pulled a few cards from The Enchanted Map deck by Colette Baron-Reid. One or all has a message for you — come find out what it is!

This one BLEW OUR MINDS, so we're thinking it might resonate with you, too. ;)

Click here to see the cards, as well as read the description of each! And after you listen, come leave a comment to share how this one spoke to you.

JOIN THE CLARITY ON FIRE COMMUNITY!

You should definitely come check us out on Patreon!

• Join the $3/month tier (The Spark) for access to occasional bonus episodes and other special content. Think of this like our virtual "tip jar." If you're not interested in the community aspect, but appreciate our work and want to send a little love our way every month, plus get access to bonus content, this is for you!

• Join the $6/month tier (The Flame) for occasional bonus content and … access to monthly patron-only Zoom meetups (hosted by our Community Ambassador, Madison), quarterly Zoom hangouts with Krachel, and access to a private Discord server where conversations are going on every week.

For those of you who join "The Flame" tier, get excited because we're doing a discussion of The Artist's Way this Sunday, July 25, at 7:00pm Eastern!

Whether or not you've read the book or worked through the processes, you're welcome to join! There will be plenty of discussion of things that transcend the book—the creative process, getting up in your head, making space for inspiration to flow, and more. ☺

Become a patron, here. And then introduce yourself in Discord, so you can start making friends with other COF people!

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A lot of us know for sure when we're up in our heads—over-thinking, spinning with anxiety, acting like life is a formula that you can solve if you analyze it long enough.

And most of us probably know by now that there are other places you can be, besides the mind … like the body, or your intuition.

But making the journey from mind to body or intuition is daunting and confusing, especially when you're stuck in your head.

So, in this month's Side Chat we're diving into a practical way to reorient your life so that your mind, body, and soul are all in balance! We got into…

• Why anxiety and over-thinking usually means you've given your mind the totally wrong job
• How to think of mind, body, and soul as different parts of a company, and what their proper roles actually are
• Some examples of how us, and clients, have applied this idea to their lives with great results (and big relief)

Leave a comment after you've listened and share how you're going to bring your mind, body, & spirit back into balance.

JOIN THE CLARITY ON FIRE COMMUNITY!

You should definitely come check us out on Patreon!

• Join the $3/month tier (The Spark) for access to occasional bonus episodes and other special content. Think of this like our virtual "tip jar." If you're not interested in the community aspect, but appreciate our work and want to send a little love our way every month, plus get access to bonus content, this is for you!

• Join the $6/month tier (The Flame) for occasional bonus content and … access to monthly patron-only Zoom meetups (hosted by our Community Ambassador, Madison), quarterly Zoom hangouts with Krachel, and access to a private Discord server where conversations are going on every week.

For those of you who join "The Flame" tier, get excited because we're doing a discussion of The Artist's Way on Sunday, July 25 at 7:00pm Eastern on Outrageous Openness and E-Squared!

Whether or not you've read the book or worked through the processes, you're welcome to join! There will be plenty of discussion of things that transcend the book—the creative process, getting up in your head, making space for inspiration to flow, and more. ☺

Become a patron, here. And then introduce yourself in Discord, so you can start making friends with other COF people!

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Yep, you read that subject line right! I (Kristen) got a job.

I know some of you are like, "Umm … excuse me, what??"

First of all, rest assured this does NOT mean I'm stepping away from Clarity on Fire or anything of the sort. On the contrary, getting a job will (counterintuitively) free up my best mental and emotional energy to pour back into my client work.

The thing is, when you're a coach who spends all your time helping people find alignment in their life and career, you can't exactly ignore when you're feeling out of alignment yourself … at least, not for very long before you feel compelled to do something about it.

I'm telling the whole story in this week's interview with a normal person, where I get to be the normal person! ;)

Listen in as Rachel interviews me about...

• How I've actually been playing with this idea for a long time, but was overcomplicating things and getting in my own way (until just a few months ago).
• Why writing a book about Passion Profiles (it's in the works right now!) ended up being the final call-out I needed to make a change.
• How I used feminine energy to attract the perfect job for what I need right now, quickly and with minimal effort.
• Our best guidance for what to do if you're feeling misaligned with your work, and how to use your Passion Profile to get back on track.

After you've listened, leave us a comment to share how my story resonated with you!

LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT

Side Chat: The 4 Passion Profiles (December 2018)

Sorting Harry Potter characters by Passion Profile (May 2019)

Finding a new job in 24 hours with Christina Hart (January 2021)

Side Chat: How to actually DO feminine energy (June 2021)

Dear Krachel: Where do you start when you have a whole mess of issues?! (July 2021)

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Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, our monthly advice segment where we answer listener questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.

This month we answered questions from:

• Ana, who's got a LOT on her mind right now: Trying to work from home while caring for two small kids, a recent ADHD diagnosis, and feeling like she's constantly underperforming at work. She knows she could benefit from ADHD-specific coaching, career-specific coaching, and therapy … but how does someone who's in the midst of a big struggle even decide where to start untangling their issues?
• Uninspired Thriver, who's really attracted to the idea of being their own boss, having financial independence, and traveling the world. Starting a business seems like a natural next step, but they aren't having any ideas that excite them. What questions should they be asking to figure out what to do next?
• Lauren, who loves a lot of things about her life—the new city she lives in, her house, her two kids—but is feeling a bit deflated because, somewhere along the way, she stopped having big dreams. What do you do when you've run out of dreams?

Our answers for these three aren't going to be what you're expecting (which was fun for us)! Come leave a comment after you've listened to share how our advice for these listeners resonated with you.

Want to submit a question for our August episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form and you might hear us tackle your Q!

LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT

Side Chat: How to actually DO feminine energy (June 2021)

Making space in your life (when you don't believe it's possible) with Anna Gore (December 2020)

Taking a year-long sabbatical from work with Francine Mends (September 2019)

Blog: How to take a long sabbatical from working (March 2016)

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Imagine making the momentous decision to pack up your entire life and move cross-country from Pennsylvania all the way to Portland, Oregon. You decide to start your move on January 1, 2020, because it feels clean and fresh with possibilities, and you embark on your journey with enthusiasm and optimism.

And then everything, and we do mean everything, promptly falls apart.

You get COVID, but you don't know it's COVID yet because no one knows what it is, and almost die.

Your partner loses their job because of the pandemic, making you the primary breadwinner while you're still struggling to breathe every day.

Your teeny tiny apartment, where you're now trapped with your partner in a brand-new city where you don't really have friends, and can't make new ones, is infested with spiders.

That's just a taste of what Kristen Kalp's 2020 was like … and lord, the hits kept comin'. So, we sat down with Kristen, our friend-we've-never-met-in-real-life, to talk about what was inarguably the worst year ever. She got into…

• How she managed to keep functioning when literally everything was awful and she was trying not to die.
• Why she didn't totally lose faith, even in the pit of despair, that things would ultimately be OK.
• How, less than a year after her disastrous move, she ended up right back where she started at the end of 2019, but isn't upset about it.
• Her wisdom for you, if you're terrified of making the "wrong" choice and everything turning to crap.

Leave a comment after you've listened to share how Kristen's crazy journey resonated with you!

MORE ABOUT KRISTEN KALP

Kristen Kalp is a teacher, healer, and business coach who helps people create lives of meaning. She facilitates long-lasting change with the help of breathwork, gentle presence, and laughter; has published a bunch of books as both an author and a ghostwriter; has been living with and learning from chronic depression for 20 years; and has enjoyed speaking gigs, retreats, and workshops in 17 cities and in 6 countries around the world. Standing ovations are her favorite drug.

LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT

Breaking your phone addiction with Kristen Kalp (May 2018)

Bonus Book Club! The Wisdom of the Enneagram (Part 1) (August, 2019)

Bonus Book Club! The Wisdom of the Enneagram (Part 2) (August, 2019)

Side Chat: Enneagram Soul Child Theory (February 2020)

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A few weeks ago we put out a call for Dear Krachel questions, and a LOT of you asked us questions about feminine energy—turns out many of you listened to our normal person interview with Carolyn Canonica and came away wanting to know more about how you actually do feminine energy.

We promised we'd dedicate a whole episode just to this question, and here it is! In this month's brand-new Side Chat we're getting into…

• Three steps for actually "doing" feminine energy—AKA, how to easily integrate this way of being into your everyday life.
• Examples of how us and our clients have successfully used these three steps.
• What to do if switching to this mindset makes you feel like you're "settling."
• The right balance of masculine vs. feminine energy in each area of your life.

Leave a comment after you've listened and share your ideas for how you're going to practice these steps!

JOIN THE CLARITY ON FIRE COMMUNITY!

You should definitely come check us out on Patreon!

• Join the $3/month tier (The Spark) for access to occasional bonus episodes and other special content. Think of this like our virtual "tip jar." If you're not interested in the community aspect, but appreciate our work and want to send a little love our way every month, plus get access to bonus content, this is for you!

• Join the $6/month tier (The Flame) for occasional bonus content and … access to monthly patron-only Zoom meetups (hosted by our Community Ambassador, Madison), quarterly Zoom hangouts with Krachel, and access to a private Discord server where conversations are going on every week.

For those of you who join "The Flame" tier, get excited because we're doing a book club on Sunday, June 27 at 1:00pm Eastern on Outrageous Openness and E-Squared!

Read one or both, do some experiments, and join the group as we talk about the results of inviting the Universe to take the lead.

Become a patron, here. And then introduce yourself in Discord, so you can start making friends with other COF people!

LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT

The feminine energy experiment with Carolyn Canonica (May 2021)

Making space in your life (when you don't believe it's possible) with Anna Gore (December 2020)

Side Chat: Honing your intuition (& knowing when it's really fear) (June 2019)

LINKS

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Take the Passion Profile Quiz

Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

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Earlier this year we talked about finding a dream job in 24 hours.

We figured it was only fair to also hear the exact opposite side of things—what happens when you've been wanting a dream job (or anything!) forever and ever and ever and you still haven't gotten it?

So, on this month's brand-new interview with a normal person, Rachel and Natalie dive into…

• At what point do you decide you're crazy for wanting something that hasn't happened in well over a decade … and just move on?
• The burnout and existential crisis you suffer from when your job isn't aligned with your Passion Profile (and what happens when you do get aligned).
• Worrying that future employers won't give you a chance after you've taken a break from the workforce.
• How the random, non-linear path actually makes you more qualified for a dream job, not less.

Leave a comment after you've listened to share how Natalie's story resonates with you!

JOIN THE CLARITY ON FIRE COMMUNITY!

You should definitely come check us out on Patreon!

• Join the $3/month tier (The Spark) for access to occasional bonus episodes and other special content. Think of this like our virtual "tip jar." If you're not interested in the community aspect, but appreciate our work and want to send a little love our way every month, plus get access to bonus content, this is for you!

• Join the $6/month tier (The Flame) for occasional bonus content and … access to monthly patron-only Zoom meetups (hosted by our Community Ambassador, Madison), quarterly Zoom hangouts with Krachel, and access to a private Discord server where conversations are going on every week.

For those of you who join "The Flame" tier, get excited because we're doing a book club on Sunday, June 27 from 1:00 – 2:30pm Eastern on Outrageous Openness and E-Squared!

Read one or both, do some experiments, and join the group as we talk about the results of inviting the Universe to take the lead.

Become a patron, here. And then introduce yourself in Discord, so you can start making friends with other COF people!

LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT

The feminine energy experiment with Carolyn Canonica (May 2021) - https://clarityonfire.com/feminine-energy-experiment/

Finding a new job in 24 hours with Christina Hart (January 2021) - https://clarityonfire.com/new-job-24-hours-christina-hart/

Side Chat: Is it not working? Or is it not working yet? (November 2020) - https://clarityonfire.com/not-working-yet/

Finding a dream job after years of searching with Teanca Shepherd (September 2018) - https://clarityonfire.com/dream-job-teanca-shepherd/

LINKS

Leave us a comment on this episode - https://clarityonfire.com/waiting-dream-job-13-years

Take the Passion Profile Quiz - https://clarityonfire.com/quiz/

Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel - https://clarityonfire.com/podcast-questions/

Join our Patreon community - https://www.patreon.com/clarityonfire

Check out our YouTube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWEc2q79n0S25otH_7pAd-g