Clarity on Fire

You've probably all dreamed at some point of being Duchess Catherine (British royalty) or Beyoncé (American royalty)—if only because of how nice it must be to have the resources to outsource the mundane crap that eats up all your time! If they don't want to cook, clean, do laundry, file their taxes, or go to the grocery store every again, they don't have to. The dream!

Like Kate and Bey, Anna is also a busy working mom of three young kids. But unlike the mega-rich and famous, she doesn't have a full-time staff to take care of everything for her.

Yet, somehow, in the midst of a pandemic, while working full-time and juggling virtual learning for her kids, she managed to carve out a couple hours multiple times per week to go to her own private studio space and paint.

Given that Anna would have sworn up and down that such a thing was impossible just a few months ago, we had to have her on the podcast to talk about how she created space in her life just for her.

So, in this month's brand-new interview with a normal person, Rachel and Anna got into…

• Why creating more space has very little to do with how much time you do or don't have.
• The fears she had to work through (particularly, disappointing people) in order to carve out and protect that space.
• Why prioritizing space is directly related to getting what you want—be that a new job, relationship, more money, etc.—even if you think it's completely unconnected.

Leave a comment after you've listened to share how Anna's perspective on making space inspired you!

MORE ABOUT ANNA

Anna is a working mother of 3 kids aged 6 and under, so she has her hands full! After reading Glennon Doyle's Untamed about six months ago, Anna began to take more ownership of her time. She started working with Rachel and is learning to become less focused on pleasing others and more focused on taking care of herself so that she can enjoy her life and show up for her family, job, and community in a more energized and authentic way. As part of that journey, she has taken up painting, a passion she had abandoned about 10 years ago, and is finding it is giving her so much life in this uncertain and chaotic time.

CLARITY IN A TIME OF COVID IS BACK!

2020 has been a YEAR, and you deserve something good! So, until Friday, December 18 we're bringing back the super-popular promotion we did during the height of lockdown earlier this year:

Get the Passion Profile Short Course, our intro course that helps you get clear on your career direction in as little as 1 day, for 50% off its usual price ($125 instead of $250). No discount code needed! Price is automatically lower on our site.

Get a single coaching session with one of us! We normally only offer one-off sessions to former clients, but we're now opening this option up to everyone.

Get both the PPSC and a single coaching session as a bundle! When you check out for either the PPSC or a single session, add the other to your cart as an upgrade. It's $125 for the PPSC, $150 for a single session, or $225 for the bundle!

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A client of mine, Jack, has been entrepreneurially minded for his whole life. He's an idea machine, and he's constantly coming up with cool business ideas. He can't help it — it's just how his brain works.

Naturally, he'll get excited about a new idea and want to share it with people. As soon as inspiration hits (which is frequently), he'll text his brother or call his mom or tell the coworker on the other side of his cube.

Their reactions aren't always what he'd hoped for. In fact, they're usually pretty discouraging. They'll ask a million questions about how it will work — questions he can't yet answer, since he's still working out the idea in his mind — or they'll jump to all the reasons why it's risky or impractical or straight-up impossible.

Usually, after these deflating conversations, Jack will feel less enthusiastic about the idea, and often he'll end up abandoning it altogether.

When Jack came to coaching, he told me he was afraid he's all ideas and no action. He was feeling like maybe he wasn't cut out to be an entrepreneur after all, since he couldn't seem to stick with an idea and make it a reality.

"Your problem isn't that you have too many ideas, or you're flaky, or you lack follow-through, or anything like that," I told him. "Your problem is just that you share your ideas too soon, and with the wrong people."

In this week's throwback blog from 2018, I'm making a case for why you should keep new ideas to yourself for a while, and how to know when it's OK to share them with others.

CLARITY IN A TIME OF COVID IS BACK (FOR 2 WEEKS)!

2020 has been a YEAR, and you deserve something good! So, until Friday, December 18, we're bringing back the super-popular promotion we did during the height of lockdown earlier this year:

Get the Passion Profile Short Course, our intro course that helps you get clear on your career direction in as little as 1 day, for 50% off its usual price ($125 instead of $250). No discount code needed! Price is automatically lower on our site.

Get a single coaching session with one of us! We normally only offer one-off sessions to former clients, but we're now opening this option up to everyone.

Get both the PPSC and a single coaching session as a bundle! When you check out for either the PPSC or a single session, add the other to your cart as an upgrade. It's $125 for the PPSC, $150 for a single session, or $225 for the bundle!

LINKS

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Take the Passion Profile Quiz

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Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer listener questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.

This month we answered questions from:

• Laura, who's had a number of job interview recently that end the same way: The hiring manager says it came down to her and someone else, but they went with the other person. Why does she keep almost getting hired, but falling short of success?
• Christian, who's very attracted to a career path that's great for a Firestarter—but that's not his Passion Profile. Does he have what it takes to make it work, or will he regret pursuing a career that's not aligned with his Profile?
• Kim, who's struggling to tell the difference between being skeptical and being judgmental. How can you tell for sure whether your ego is influencing how you're something?

Leave a comment after you've listened to share how our advice for these listeners resonated with you!

Want to submit a question for our January episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form and you might hear us tackle your Q!

CLARITY IN A TIME OF COVID IS BACK (FOR 2 WEEKS)!

2020 has been a YEAR, and you deserve something good! So, until Friday, December 18 we're bringing back the super-popular promotion we did during the height of lockdown earlier this year:

Get the Passion Profile Short Course, our intro course that helps you get clear on your career direction in as little as 1 day, for 50% off its usual price ($125 instead of $250). No discount code needed! Price is automatically lower on our site.

Get a single coaching session with one of us! We normally only offer one-off sessions to former clients, but we're now opening this option up to everyone.

Get both the PPSC and a single coaching session as a bundle! When you check out for either the PPSC or a single session, add the other to your cart as an upgrade. It's $125 for the PPSC, $150 for a single session, or $225 for the bundle!

LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT

Side Chat: Is it not working? Or is it not working YET? (November 2020)

Burn This: Labeling emotions as "good" or "bad" (June 2020)

Side Chat: Why job searching & dating are the same thing (March 2020)

Getting over your 'all or nothing' obsession with Amy Everhart (October 2018)

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In times like these, it can be especially hard to tune into your intuition and receive guidance. Fear and uncertainty create a LOT of noise, both internally and externally! And, ironically, it's exactly when we're most afraid and unsure that we most need to be able to receive wisdom and inspiration.

Back in April, we started doing regular "Message from the Universe" episodes to help get us through the pandemic. While we stopped doing them regularly a few months ago, we promised they'd be back at random, probably when you most needed a little encouragement!

So, if you're having a hard time getting calm, quieting your mind, and tuning in lately (understandable, if so!), we hope this message will give you an extra boost of guidance today.

We pulled 3 cards from our classic Rider Waite Tarot deck today. One or all has a message for you—come find out what it is!

Click here to see the cards, as well as read the description of each!

After you listen, come leave a comment to share how the message landed with you.

MORE ABOUT TODAY'S READING

The Tarot card descriptions were written by the fabulous Madeleine Joan! Madeleine is a Tarot card reader, intuitive, and astrologist with well over 20 years of experience. We recommend that you:

Check out her site and a book a private reading with her

Visit her YouTube channel

Follow her on Instagram

Join her Patreon

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Lately, one of my (Rachel's!) clients came back a couple weeks into a homework assignment and proclaimed: "I'm really frustrated and disappointed. It's not WORKING!!"

When you've spent a couple weeks on something and you're seeing no results, of course it's frustrating. Especially when every day that passes by gives your inner critic more and more fodder for beating you up—"If you were good at this, it would work." "See, I told you that you're a failure. Why even try?"

But I wasn't "in it" like she was, so I could see the reality of the situation: It's not that her strategy wasn't working, it's that it wasn't working YET. She hadn't given it nearly enough time or effort to conclude it wasn't working and would never work.

So, in this month's brand-new Side Chat, Kristen and I sit down to talk about how to tell the difference between "it's not working," and "it's not working YET." We got into…

• How to define what something "working" even means, according to your situation.
• Ways you can tell something has the potential to work, you just need more time.
• When it could work, but you might need to make some changes/tweaks to get there.
• When it's never going to work, and you should give up and focus on something else.

Leave a comment after you've listened to share what's not working, and what might not be working yet in your life!

LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT

Side Chat: Are you copping out? Or letting yourself off the hook? (April 2020)

The magic of thinking like a happily single woman with Shani Silver (April 2020)

The secret to mastering informational interviews with Elise Austen (July 2020)

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Bekah Trice is a self-described wellness junkie.

There are a LOT of healing modalities out there — therapy, coaching, massage, acupuncture, human design, tapping, and energy healing, to name a few — and she's tried them all. I like to think of her as a wellness concierge; she's dabbled in everything, so she's naturally great at helping people figure out what might work for them.

Of course, the very act of seeking out various healing practices means you sense there's something within you that needs healing. Whether you struggle with imposter syndrome, people pleasing, low self-confidence, a history of trauma, or a loss of trust in yourself and/or the world, we all could use some emotional and spiritual healing (especially after the year we've collectively had!).

Tune in to this week's episode with a normal person to hear more about Bekah's healing journey. Kristen & Bekah got into…

• What exactly Bekah was trying to heal from that caused her to seek out so many different wellness modalities.
• What she tried that DIDN'T work vs. what DID work, and how to tell the difference for yourself.
• Why your intention for seeking help is just as important as the type of support you choose.
• The three stages of healing that Bekah has gone through over the years.
• How COVID has impacted Bekah's wellness routine, and her advice for people who are struggling to stick with their old healthy routines.

After you've listened, leave us a comment to share how Bekah's story resonated with you!

MORE ABOUT BEKAH TRICE

Bekah is one of our favorite clients- she has been working with Kristen since 2014. What we love about her evolution and wanted to share in today's interview is her commitment to continuous experimentation with all types of healing modalities in an effort to dig deep and really identify those pieces holding her back. She's always looking for ways to tap into her inner goddess, and she's committed to keeping it real, authentic, and fully alive.

She now resides in the NYC metro area, and is working in what was her dream job- doing enterprise software sales for a fortune 100 organization. A true Side Hustler, she has pursued multiple career paths- a stint on Capitol Hill, jobs in HR consulting and technology recruiting, and now software sales.

IF YOU LIKED THIS, YOU'LL ALSO LOVE…

Bonus Book Club! The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. (Part 1) (October 2020)

Bonus Book Club! The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. (Part 2) (October 2020)

Recovering from addiction & self-hate with Adam Miller (March 2020)

Bonus Book Club! Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb (November 2019)

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I feel like I need to offer a massive correction to all of the people, you included, I may have fooled over the years:

I'm not actually all that tough.

I know the resting bitch face (which is very handy in repelling unwanted small talk at the gym or grocery store) may have suggested otherwise. Or the fact that I'm blunt, loud, and opinionated. Or that I very clearly do not suffer fools.

The exterior may look tough, but the inside is plenty soft and sensitive.

And, like most of you, for a long time I thought that sensitivity equated to weakness. I thought the only way to get through hard times was to "tough it out." Put my head down, plow through my problems, and take no mercy (on myself, most especially).

You may be surprised to hear me say that 2018 was not my favorite year, by a long shot. And while all the gory details don't need to be put on display (yet—I'm positive it's a story I'll tell when I have more hindsight and perspective), I can tell you that, very much against my will, I became a MUCH stronger person this year (stronger, but not necessarily tougher).

Like most lessons you don't ask for, this one taught me so much about the true nature of strength. And I have a suspicion that you probably need to hear, as much as I did, what real strength is, and what it isn't.

So, this one goes out to you—especially if you're under the mistaken impression that you're weak.

After you've listened, come share your take on strength with me in the comments.

IF YOU LOVE OUR BLOGS, DOWNLOAD OUR EBOOK COLLECTIONS!

Each of our eBooks is a collection of about 7 blogs centered around a different theme. If you liked this blog, you might enjoy "Am I doing 'life' right? Wisdom, relief, and tough love for getting through difficult times." It's a "Life 101" primer for dealing with some of the hardest aspects of being human — from shame and insecurity to feeling stuck and 'behind' everyone else — in a way that makes you more grounded and resilient, and ultimately … good at life.

Download all 4 eBooks here!

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Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer listener questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.

This month we answered questions from:

• Ellie, whose friends are all talk no action when it comes to personal development. What do you do when your close friends aren't committed to growing as people?
• Tribe of One, whose parents have each moved on to new relationships after their 31-year-long marriage ended in divorce. Their new significant others seemingly have no interest in getting to know her, though. How can she be more accepting of people who don't care about having a relationship with her?
• Reality Checker, whose passive-aggressive co-worker has finally come to the attention of their manager. Now that he's being held more accountable for his behavior, Reality Checker wants to stop reading into every little interaction, but it's understandably hard to trust him. How do you tell when someone is actually being passive-aggressive, or when you're reading too much into it?

Leave a comment after you've listened to share how our advice for these listeners resonated with you!

Want to submit a question for our December episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form and you might hear us tackle your Q!

LISTEN TO THESE EPISODES NEXT

Side Chat: When you want to fix someone, but can't (March 2019)

Making friends in adulthood with Shannon Egan & Inés Battistini (February 2020)

Dear Krachel: Is having no expectations an excuse for being lazy? (October 2020)

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Calling all fellow bookworms, library nerds, and general lovers of literature — it's time for another book club episode of the podcast!

Whenever there are five Fridays in a month, we devote the extra Friday to a book that we can't get enough of. In this episode, we're diving into the #1 New York Times bestseller The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

This is by far the densest, most intense book we've ever shared on the podcast. In fact, we broke it down into two episodes so that we could do the content justice!

The Body Keeps the Score is about trauma and all of the ways it manifests in the mind and body. If you think that subject doesn't apply to you, think again. Given that all humans experiences trauma at some point in their life—and live with, work with, and love people who've been through trauma, too—this book is relevant to you no matter your background.

We got into…

• What trauma is, who experiences it, and why it's often unconsciously running your life.
• The quick quiz that helps you define where you fall on the trauma spectrum.
• Ways trauma manifests in the mind and body—from mental health conditions to chronic physical illnesses and much more.
• The pros of cons of traditional treatments like prescription drugs and psychiatry.
• The best ways to reset your nervous system and heal yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Again, we broke this episode down into two 50-minute episodes! After you've listened to part one, you'll want to move on to part two.

After you've listened, leave us a comment to let us know which of the many insights from this book resonated with you most.

LINKS

Take the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) quiz

Leave us a comment on this episode

Take the Passion Profile Quiz

Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

Check out our YouTube channel

Calling all fellow bookworms, library nerds, and general lovers of literature — it's time for another book club episode of the podcast!

Whenever there are five Fridays in a month, we devote the extra Friday to a book that we can't get enough of. In this episode, we're diving into the #1 New York Times bestseller The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

This is by far the densest, most intense book we've ever shared on the podcast. In fact, we broke it down into two episodes so that we could do the content justice!

The Body Keeps the Score is about trauma and all of the ways it manifests in the mind and body. If you think that subject doesn't apply to you, think again. Given that all humans experiences trauma at some point in their life—and live with, work with, and love people who've been through trauma, too—this book is relevant to you no matter your background.

We got into…

• What trauma is, who experiences it, and why it's often unconsciously running your life.
• The quick quiz that helps you define where you fall on the trauma spectrum.
• Ways trauma manifests in the mind and body—from mental health conditions to chronic physical illnesses and much more.
• The pros of cons of traditional treatments like prescription drugs and psychiatry.
• The best ways to reset your nervous system and heal yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Again, we broke this episode down into two 50-minute episodes! If you haven't yet listened to part one, you'll want to go back and listen to that before moving on to this episode.

After you've listened, leave us a comment to let us know which of the many insights from this book resonated with you most.

LINKS

Take the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) quiz

Leave us a comment on this episode

Take the Passion Profile Quiz

Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

Check out our YouTube channel