Clarity on Fire

Remember in Harry Potter when Fawkes the phoenix would near the end of his life cycle? He'd get all wheezy and bleary-eyed, and generally look the worse for wear, and Dumbledore would encourage him to "get on with it."

Then, of course, he'd burst into flame and emerge again from the ashes, a tiny and somewhat ugly little chick who would soon grow into his former glory.

Well, as we near our 200th episode of the podcast, we're feeling a bit more like "old and wheezy" than "youthful and resplendent" Fawkes. So, it's time to burn some stuff down and start anew!

In the spirit of death and rebirth, we're taking something away and giving you something new.

KRACHEL TAKETH AWAY

We're cutting back from 8 podcast episodes per month to 6!

Instead of blogging every Tuesday, we're going to be publishing episodes every-other-Tuesday. Sometimes they might be blogs, or Rachel Rants, or special bonus episodes.

But mostly, we're going to use our two Tuesdays a month to give you "Magic 8-Ball" episodes: Where we pick any of our past 200 episodes, somewhat at random, and reintroduce it to you.

It's likely, even if you're a Clarity on Fire super-fan, that you haven't heard 100% of our past episodes. And that's a shame, because there are some really great gems just sitting there, waiting to be discovered (or rediscovered, as the case may be).

Think of these episodes like a shake of the Magic 8-Ball—whatever message you get is the probably the exact one you needed that day!

BUT KRACHEL ALSO GIVETH

We've been wanting a way to connect with you that's easy, fun, and a lot less time consuming than listening to us gab on the podcast for an hour or more each week!

So, we're getting hip to the times and sliding into your DMs (that's how the youths say it, no?).

That's right, we've got a phone number and we mostly know how to use it! So, want to get weekly texts from us??

Sign up here

OR … text your first name, followed by a single space, then your email address (Example: Hermione [email protected]) to 703-783-3223.

We're going to send you some motivation/inspiration/food for thought on Monday mornings, and probably one other surprise throughout the week, too.

You guys feel like our friends, even though we've never gotten to meet or talk to most of you! So getting to text you will make that friendship feel even more real, on both sides.

The first official text goes out on Monday the 24th, so sign up before then so you don't miss it!

P.S. We'd be delighted if you added us to your contacts (call us Clarity on Fire, Krachel, or whatever else amuses you), and even more gleeful if you pick a great image for our contact photo (Oprah and Gayle? James and Sirius? Tacos and guacamole??) and share it with us. ;)

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When I first met Amanda, she was lugging around shame like it was an anvil strapped to her back. In her mind, she didn't deserve to feel light or free because she'd left her marriage of almost 20 years in a way that she felt very guilty about.

But as long as she was carrying guilt and shame like a penance, she wasn't able to pick anything else up. It's hard to move on with your life, or get clear about who you are on a deeper level, if you're not allowed to forgive yourself.

So, that's what she had to learn how to do. And that's what Amanda and I got in to during this month's new interview with a normal person!

We talked about …

• Why she was ashamed about how she left her marriage, and why she felt unable to let that shame go for a long time.
• The difference between letting yourself off the hook for bad behavior (something you probably shouldn't be doing) and genuinely forgiving yourself (something you definitely should do).
• How forgiving herself allowed her to heal the issues that caused her marriage to dissolve, in the first place.
• The newfound direction and purpose she found in her career once she was finally able to make peace with herself.
• How she's transitioning this month from her full-time job as director of a non-profit to full-time self-employment.

After you listen come leave a comment to share how Amanda's wisdom resonated with you!

MORE ABOUT AMANDA

At 48, Amanda Michaelis is finally starting to figure out who she is.

Amanda's shift in her life occurred after the end of an almost-20-year marriage. During that time, she dove deep and discovered who she was, what she valued, and how she was meant to live her life. Her career has led her into the healthcare industry; a large, family-owned and operated regional business; and most recently the nonprofit world. Amanda is currently participating in an open, transparent transition process with her Board of Directors to move out of her current organizational leadership role, and into the world of self-employment as a coach and facilitator in her own business called, appropriately enough, Shift Your Perspective.

In addition, she is deeply committed to developing leaders in her community. She is in her sixth year facilitating both the adult and junior Community Leadership Programs in her town.

Her goal these days is to like herself today more than yesterday.

IF YOU LIKED THIS EPISODE, LISTEN TO THESE NEXT

Bonus Book Club! Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver (November 2018)

Bonus Book Club! It's Not Your Money by Tosha Silver (March 2019)

Side Chat: Honing your intuition (& knowing when it's really fear) (June 2019)

Expecting the perfect job to be your savior with Sarah Knight (October 2019)

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"I think I'm bad at joy," said my client Laura at the start of our last coaching call.

She went on to tell me about a mini road trip she and her boyfriend took over the weekend. There was a moment in the car when everything felt right in the world — the sun was shining, the windows were down, her favorite music was blasting, and her boyfriend smiled over at her and put his arm around the back of her seat.

"I literally thought my heart was going to burst, I was so blissed out in that moment," she said.

But it didn't last long. Almost immediately, Laura's mind started to freak out:

"I really shouldn't have taken this trip. My boss is already annoyed that I took a whole week off earlier this month, and now I'm taking another long weekend?? Ugh, going back to work on Tuesday is going to be fun… And I probably should've put the money I spent on this trip toward my student loans. I'm going to be paying those off forever. Maybe I should get a second job. Or a higher paying job. But what kind of job? Do I need a second degree to get a better paying job? But that would mean MORE student loans. And what if I don't even like that job? I'm never going to figure this out…"

Within 30 seconds, Laura's joy had evaporated.

She asked me, "What happened? I was so happy, and then I just … wasn't. It was like all of these crazy anxious thoughts took over my brain. What's wrong with me?"

There's nothing wrong with Laura. She just has the same impulse that most people I know have — to rein in her joy. IF YOU LIKED THIS THEN YOU'LL ALSO LOVE…

Our free downloadable e-book:

Are happy people for real? What it takes to live a happy, contented life in a world where that sometimes feels impossible

Make sure to check out the rest of our e-books, too:

E-Book Collections

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Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.

On this episode, we're answering questions from:

• Jade, a college sophomore who feels like she's doing her college experience "wrong" by not being able to pick a major. Since she can't decide, does it matter if she just picks something that has a lot of potential to make her good money after she graduates?
• Nurse Grumpy, who's so fed up with being a nurse that she feels like she's lost all patience and compassion for the people she's supposed to be helping. She's tried therapy, job hopping, and taking time off, but nothing has cured her resentment. How can she find fulfillment again when, in all honesty, she's tired of pretending like she cares?
• Ms. Pissed Off, a 30-year-old with a partner of 4 years who is SO OVER people asking her when she's going to get married. Why do people constantly feel the need to butt in to the life choices of others? And how does she figure out if she actually wants to get married, if people around her won't shut up about it?

After you've listened, leave us a comment to let us know how our advice for these three listeners resonated with you!

Want to submit a question for our March episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form and you might hear us tackle your Q!

IF YOU LIKED THIS YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO…

Dear Krachel: All my friends are married. Why not me? (October 2018)

Dear Krachel: Should I trust my boyfriend's words or his actions? (November 2018)

Dear Krachel: How do I recover from burnout? (January 2019)

Dear Krachel: Should I do a job I hate for a few years (for the money?) (March 2019)

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Have you ever met someone who's always known what they wanted to do?

They were 5 years old and sure they'd be a writer or a nurse or an engineer, went and did exactly that, and are still doing it to this day? You probably have.

And while those people didn't set out to make the rest of us feel bad … it sort of happens inadvertently, doesn't it?

Liz Gilbert (the author of Eat, Pray, Love and Big Magic) calls these people "jackhammers." As in, they drill down with mega-focus on one thing that they're really passionate about and they hammer away at it forever. She's a self-admitted jackhammer, herself, when it comes to being a writer.

She gave a talk a few years ago (definitely worth a listen) about how she mistakenly assumed that everyone was like this. Not only did she realize that she was dead wrong, but she had no idea how badly non-jackhammers often feel about themselves.

There are a whole lot of us who think there must be something wrong if we don't have an all-consuming passion that we're mega-focused on for our entire lives.

We feel like there's something they (the jackhammers) understand that we haven't figured out yet. And we can spend years (if not decades) feeling frustrated and hopeless about our search for an all-consuming passion … but never finding it.

But as it turns out, jackhammers are actually really rare. Liz concluded, and I totally agree, that maybe 5% of the population fits the jackhammer bill. The rest of us? We're something else entirely, and it's nothing to feel dejected about. In fact, it's arguably even more fascinating.

IF YOU LIKED THIS YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO…

Side Chat: How to figure out what to do with your life (June 2018)

Bonus Book Club! Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert (June 2018)

Finding a dream job after years of searching with Teanca Shepherd (September 2018)

Treating life like a magical scavenger hunt with Francisca Hernandez (November 2018)

Getting what you want, then losing it with Sara Griffin (June 2019)

LINKS

Liz Gilbert's Super Soul Talk: The Flight of the Hummingbird

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Calling all fellow bookworms, library nerds, and general lovers of literature — it's time for another book club episode of the podcast!

Whenever there are five Fridays in a month, we devote the extra Friday to a book that we can't get enough of. In this episode, we're diving into the #1 New York Times bestseller E-Squared by Pam Grout.

We've recommended this book to so many people over the years because it bridges the gap between science and spirituality in a fun, easy-to-do way. If you really want to believe in something—call it the Universe, infinite intelligence, whatever!—but are skeptical, or just can't find enough proof to allow you to relax, you're going to dig this episode.

We talked about …

• Why religion and believing in a higher power are totally separate things.
• How your thoughts create your reality, 100% of the time.
• 3 experiments you can do to prove that an infinitely intelligent force exists, and that you have the power to influence it.
• Lots of stories from us, and our clients, that prove these experiments work!

After you've listened, leave us a comment to let us know which nuggets of wisdom from this book resonated with you most, and what experiments you're going to try!

IF YOU LIKED THIS EPISODE, LISTEN TO THESE NEXT

Expecting the perfect job to be your savior with Sarah Knight (October 2019)

Side Chat: Honing your intuition (& knowing when it's really fear) (June 2019)

Bonus Book Club! It's Not Your Money by Tosha Silver (March 2019)

Bonus Book Club! Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver (November 2018)

Bonus Book Club! The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (August 2018)

MORE BOOK CLUB EPISODES

Bonus Book Club! Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb (November 2019)

Bonus Book Club! The Wisdom of the Enneagram (Part 1) (August 2019)

Bonus Book Club! The Wisdom of the Enneagram (Part 2) (August 2019)

Bonus Book Club! Dodging Energy Vampires by Christiane Northrup (May 2019)

Bonus Book Club! Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert (June 2018)

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One of my favorite things about January is that I always get a few extra update emails from previous clients who have been doing some New Years' reflecting on their past year and want to share it with me.

After reading a few of those, I can't help thinking about how freaking much can happen in the span of just one year.

A lot has happened for me personally, of course, but I'm especially amazed by some of my clients' stories about this past year. For many of them, their lives are nearly unrecognizable from this time last year!

And yet, it's equally possible for a year to float by without much changing at all. I know plenty of people who can hardly distinguish one year from another because they all tend to blend together in a blur of sameness.

While it can be comforting to have a predictable, stable, consistent year, it's also … well, frankly, it's boring! As uncomfortable as we often feel about change and the unknown, I know for certain that what we're all most terrified of is stagnation.

We're all secretly worrying, "Is this it? Is this as good as it gets?"

We want change. We crave evolution. We're all seeking upward momentum. Bigger, better, deeper, grander, wiser, more connected, more successful, more spacious, more, more, more. It's what all of us want, and there's not a thing in the world wrong with it. You couldn't switch off that part of your human nature if you tried. We are meant to evolve.

Given the choice between a year full of evolution, growth, change, and expansion and a year of sameness and stagnation … you're bound to choose evolution.

So what's the difference between people who stagnate and people who experience forward momentum? That's what I'm getting into in this updated blog from 2016!

THE PPVE IS BACK FOR THE LAST TIME ... ENROLLMENT ENDS TOMORROW!

Our online group coaching program, the Passion Plan Virtual Experience, is open for enrollment for the last time EVER through Tomorrow, January 29th.

• It's a 6-week course that helps you figure out what to do with your life. Think of it as the "AP Life" class you should have taken in high school, but never got the chance!
• The content is a mix of videos, workbook assignments, and interaction with us and the rest of the group in a private forum.
• You'll have forever access to the content, even though this is the last time we're running the course.
• Nearly 500 people have gone through this program, so its track record is pretty stellar.
• The content requires about 3-4 hours of time per week. It's challenging in a good way, but totally manageable.
• It's meant for people who not only want to find their passion, but who want to get more meaning and purpose out of their entire life.
• If you've been spinning your wheels for a long time and want some expert guidance getting un-stuck, this is very likely the right place for you.

The PPVE content is the same process we take all of our 1-on-1 coaching clients through, which means there's never going to be a more affordable way to get access to deep, transformative coaching than this!

Sign up here when you're ready!

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We all know how good it feels to get rid of actual stuff—clothes that are out of style, clutter that's taking up space in your closet, décor that belongs in another decade.

We'd argue it feels just as good, if not better, to get rid of your metaphorical crap—the beliefs that weigh you down, the assumptions that inherited from someone else, and the fears that are no longer relevant to the times we're living in now.

So, in that spirit, welcome to a new kind of podcast episode: Burn This. Every once in a while we're going to go through some of our collective intangible garbage and give you, and all of us, permission to throw it in the burn pile!

In this inaugural episode we came up with 8 career beliefs that we can burn before we haul them with us into the 2020s.

We talked about…

• Why no one cares that much about your technical experience or gaps on your resumé.
• How many years is long enough to work at a job before you're allowed to move on.
• Why having multiple careers (not just jobs, but careers) is the new norm.
• The biggest shift we've seen happen in the career world since 2010, and why it's good news for you.

After you've listened, leave a comment to let us know how this episode resonated with you!

EARLY BIRD ENROLLMENT FOR THE PPVE ENDS TODAY!

Our online group coaching program, the Passion Plan Virtual Experience, is open for enrollment for the last time EVER now through Wednesday, January 29 (or when we hit 50 people, whichever comes first).

Today is the LAST day of early bird enrollment! That means if you sign up before the end of the day (Friday the 24th), you can get the course for $369 instead of the usual $469.

• It's a 6-week course that helps you figure out what to do with your life. Think of it as the "AP Life" class you should have taken in high school, but never got the chance!
• The content is a mix of videos, workbook assignments, and interaction with us and the rest of the group in a private forum.
• You'll have forever access to the content, even though this is the last time we're running the course.
• We're only taking 50 people in this round, and as of this morning we have X spots left.

The PPVE content is the same process we take all of our 1-on-1 coaching clients through, which means there's never going to be a more affordable way to get access to deep, transformative coaching than this!

Sign up here when you're ready!

FREE WORKSHOP ON 1/27!

We're hosting a live, virtual workshop on Monday, January 27 at 7:30pm EST!

Getting What You Want in 2020: Live Workshop with Q&A

This will be great for you if …

• You're tired of not getting what you want (but don't quite know how to break the cycle that you're in).
• You'd love to commit to something (a goal, a better version of yourself) but doubt your ability to follow through.
• You've been trying to think your way into making life changes, but keep finding yourself back at square one.
• You want to hear our latest takes on finding fulfillment, passion, and satisfaction (in your life & career) … a lot has changed since we first started talking about this 6 years ago!

We almost never do live workshops, so don't miss out! If you're there live, you'll be able to ask questions during our Q&A segment. But if you can't make it that's OK, too. We'll send a replay video to anyone who registers!

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If you're hanging 'round these parts, you probably have an affinity for coaching and all the things that come with it: Personal development, self-awareness, growth, vulnerability, and asking big, existential questions.

But the coaching world is as lawless as the wild west. Anyone can call themselves a coach and get away with it! In fact, we've met quite a few people who've come away worse than they started after working with a so-called coach.

So, in this special non-blog episode of the podcast, we wanted to give you some pointers about what makes for good and bad coaching, so that you know what to expect and can avoid the occasional charlatan or swindler.

We're talked about…

• A couple stories of bad coaches doing more damage than good.
• Why giving advice is completed unrelated to coaching.
• Why good coaches don't always take you seriously when you say you want something.
• How bad coaching gives band-aid solutions, while good coaching cures what ails you at the root level.

After you've listened, leave a comment to let us know how this episode resonated with you!

THE PPVE IS BACK (FOR THE LAST TIME!)

Our online group coaching program, the Passion Plan Virtual Experience, is open for enrollment for the last time EVER now through Wednesday, January 29 (or when we hit 50 people, whichever comes first).

Early bird enrollment is going on right now! That means if you sign up before this Friday the 24th, you can get the course for $369 instead of the usual $469.

• It's a 6-week course that helps you figure out what to do with your life. Think of it as the "AP Life" class you should have taken in high school, but never got the chance!
• The content is a mix of videos, workbook assignments, and interaction with us and the rest of the group in a private forum.
• You'll have forever access to the content, even though this is the last time we're running the course.
• We're only taking 50 people in this round, and enrollment is first-come, first-served. If you want in, you definitely don't want to dally.

The PPVE content is the same process we take all of our 1-on-1 coaching clients through, which means there's never going to be a more affordable way to get access to deep, transformative coaching than this!

Sign up here when you're ready!

FREE WORKSHOP ON 1/27!

We're hosting a live, virtual workshop on Monday, January 27 at 7:30pm EST!

Getting What You Want in 2020: Live Workshop with Q&A

This will be great for you if …

• You're tired of not getting what you want (but don't quite know how to break the cycle that you're in).
• You'd love to commit to something (a goal, a better version of yourself) but doubt your ability to follow through.
• You've been trying to think your way into making life changes, but keep finding yourself back at square one.
• You want to hear our latest takes on finding fulfillment, passion, and satisfaction (in your life & career) … a lot has changed since we first started talking about this 6 years ago!

We almost never do live workshops, so don't miss out! If you're there live, you'll be able to ask questions during our Q&A segment. But if you can't make it that's OK, too. We'll send a replay video to anyone who registers!

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If you hadn't noticed, we're big advocates for feeling your feelings. What's the alternative? Being shut down, repressed, or so bent out of shape that the slightest twinge of anger or sadness causes you pain? Uh thank you, but next.

But we realized we haven't told you one of the most IMPORTANT parts about feeling your feelings in a healthy way:

Not everyone can be trusted to handle you and your feelings.

In this month's brand-new side chat, we're getting in to what to do when other people ignore, scorn, diminish, deride, and gaslight you and your feelings. We're talking about…

• The long-term symptoms of not being allowed to express your feelings to others.
• How to process the pain of people minimizing, scorning, or gaslighting you.
• How to recognize whether someone can be trusted to meet your needs, emotionally and otherwise.

After you've listened, leave a comment to let us know how this episode resonated with you!

THE PPVE IS COMING BACK (ONE LAST TIME!)

Our online group coaching program, the Passion Plan Virtual Experience, will open for enrollment for the last time EVER next Tuesday, January 21 through January 29 (or when we hit 50 people, whichever comes first).

• It's a 6- week course that helps you figure out what to do with your life. Think of it as the "AP Life" class you should have taken in high school, but never got the chance!
• The content is a mix of videos, workbook assignments, and interaction with us and the rest of the group in a private forum.
• You'll have forever access to the content, even though this is the last time we're running the course.
• We're only taking 50 people in this round, and enrollment is first-come, first-served. If you want in, you definitely don't want to dally.

Early bird enrollment will be going on from Tuesday the 21st through Friday the 24th. That means if you sign up before then, you can get the course for $369 instead of the usual $469.

Check out all the details here!

IF YOU WANT MORE EPISODES LIKE THIS, LISTEN TO…

Emotional constipation with Joanna Platt (April 2018)

Side Chat: We are not the crazy ones! (How to tell if you're a highly sensitive person) (April 2018)

Side Chat: How to get through life's big transitions (September 2018)

Bonus Book Club! Dodging Energy Vampires by Christiane Northrup (May 2019)

Healing the worthiness wound with Thais Sky (October 2019)

Blog: Stop torturing yourself with other peoples' potential (December 2019)

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