Clarity on Fire

There's a time and place for more grounded, astute, in-depth reflections about life and what to do about your problems (that's what blogs and, you know, every other episode of this podcast are for). But sometimes you just need a good, righteous rant. It's cathartic!

So, every once in a while, instead of writing a new blog or republishing an old one, I'm going to spend a few minutes getting fired up about something, in the hopes that I'll get you fired up, too, and maybe even snap you out of whatever daze you've found yourself in.

Today I'm ranting about how obsessed we all are with getting it—every choice, big or small—right, and how screwy a notion that is. I got into…

• Why needing to figure out the "right" answer is like gasoline on an anxiety fire.
• My new favorite word, and why it's a cure for the "must get it right" mentality.
• An analogy that will help you relax, trust yourself, and start taking your decisions a little less seriously.

After you've listened, leave a comment to let me know what you think of this installment of Rachel Rants, and what you might like me to rant about next!

THE PPVE WILL BE BACK (ONE LAST TIME) NEXT WEEK!

Our online group coaching program, the Passion Plan Virtual Experience, will open for enrollment for the last time EVER next Tuesday, January 21 through January 29 (or when we hit 50 people, whichever comes first).

• It's a 6- week course that helps you figure out what to do with your life. Think of it as the "AP Life" class you should have taken in high school, but never got the chance!
• The content is a mix of videos, workbook assignments, and interaction with us and the rest of the group in a private forum.
• You'll have forever access to the content, even though this is the last time we're running the course.
• We're only taking 50 people in this round, and enrollment is first-come, first-served. If you want in, you definitely don't want to dally.

Early bird enrollment will be going on from Tuesday the 21st through Friday the 24th. That means if you sign up before then, you can get the course for $369 instead of the usual $469.

Check out all the details here!

LISTEN TO PAST EPISODES OF RACHEL RANTS

Rachel Rants: Being smart is NOT that important (September 2019)

Rachel Rants: Life is hard, and you don't have a lady's maid (October 2019)

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A few months ago, my client MaryBeth started our session with, "You're never going to believe what I just did."

She began the call feeling utterly embarrassed, but by the end of the conversation was starting to see how the "embarrassing" thing she'd done might actually be exactly the right next step.

When you're so committed to your plan — for your career, your relationship, or your life in general — like MaryBeth was in that moment, it can blind you to other, potentially even better paths.

In this month's interview with a normal person, Kristen and MaryBeth talk about how to flow with the twists and turns life will inevitably throw you, including…

• What to do when life screws up your plans, and how to shift your mindset to see how that might be a great thing.
• How to determine when your reaction to something is coming from fear or intuition (MaryBeth has some great advice about this!).
• How to balance being a planner, while also being open to new possibilities that might disrupt those plans.
• A great analogy to feel more at-peace when life sends you on an unexpected path.
• MaryBeth's advice for someone who's gripping tightly to their idea of "the right plan."

After you've listened, leave a comment to let us know how MaryBeth's story resonated with you.

MORE ABOUT MARY BETH

MaryBeth is a thinker and a lover. She enjoys sharing and synthesizing ideas, critical thinking, and voracious learning, but she finds the most meaning in exploring the human condition, fostering human connection, and helping ease human suffering.

As a practicing clinical neuropsychologist, MaryBeth's professional life has been dedicated to diagnosing and treating individuals with various disorders and diseases that affect brain function. In recent years, she has become increasingly interested in combining research from neuroscience and positive psychology in order to understand how "normal" people (i.e., any of us) can apply what we know about human brain function to improve and enhance ourselves and our lives.

A self-described, recovering "anxious achiever" (Enneagram type 6/3), MaryBeth is eternally grateful for what coaching and mindfulness practice have brought to her life. Learning to hear and trust her intuition, as well as learning to be still and present – rather than constantly anticipating and planning for the next hurdle – are some of the benefits she has experienced, and she is beyond excited to continue her journey, and help support others' journeys as well!

You can connect with MaryBeth by reading her blog or dropping her a line at www.mbhcoaching.com.

THE PPVE WILL IS COMING BACK (ONE LAST TIME!)

Our online group coaching program, the Passion Plan Virtual Experience, will open for enrollment for the last time EVER next Tuesday, January 21 through January 29 (or when we hit 50 people, whichever comes first).

• It's a 6- week course that helps you figure out what to do with your life. Think of it as the "AP Life" class you should have taken in high school, but never got the chance!
• The content is a mix of videos, workbook assignments, and interaction with us and the rest of the group in a private forum.
• You'll have forever access to the content, even though this is the last time we're running the course.
• We're only taking 50 people in this round, and enrollment is first-come, first-served. If you want in, you definitely don't want to dally.

Early bird enrollment will be going on from Tuesday the 21st through Friday the 24th. That means if you sign up before then, you can get the course for $369 instead of the usual $469.

Check out all the details here!

IF YOU LIKED THIS, YOU'LL ALSO LOVE…

Side Chat: Honing your intuition (& knowing when it's really fear) (June 2019)

Letting go of your inner control freak with Caela Gray

How you can stop freaking out about not knowing the future (April 2019)

Ditching your perfectionism with Terece Hahn (October 2018)

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Whether you love partying until the New Years' ball drops or turning in before midnight…

Whether you swear by New Years' resolutions or roll your eyes at them…

It's hard to fully avoid getting caught up in the energy of a new year (and in this case, a new decade!). I don't know about you, but I can't help feeling inspired to reflect on my life, dream about the future, and commit to making changes.

I think it's important to have built-in rhythms throughout the year that remind us to pause, reflect, and — if necessary — course-correct.

So while I'm personally not crazy about new year's resolutions (let's be honest — they're usually abandoned by February anyway), I do appreciate anything that reminds us to be a bit more intentional.

That said, if you find yourself dreaming, visualizing, and intention-setting around this time of year, I applaud you!

And … I also want to challenge you to dig a bit deeper this year, to get to the heart of why you want the things you want. Because the "why" behind your goals will determine whether or not you actually achieve them … and more importantly, whether achieving them will ultimately make you happy.

Consider the changes you want to make in your life in 2020. Do you want to get a new job? Or go back to school? Or move to a new city? Or create your own business? Or start a new exercise regimen?

Then, look out for the following 4 potential red flags to make sure you're not pursuing the wrong dream for the wrong reasons.

Once you've listened, come over to the blog and leave me a comment to share how this resonated with you and what some of your goals for 2020 are.

IF YOU LIKED THIS, YOU'LL ALSO LOVE…

Why you should keep new ideas to yourself (December 2018)

Do you want it? Or do you only think you SHOULD want it? (January 2019)

How to transform knowing what you DON'T want into knowing what you DO want (August 2018)

LINKS

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Take the Passion Profile Quiz

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Check out our YouTube channel

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.

On this episode, we're answering questions from:

• Sarah, who is distressed by how much she doesn't like herself, and how all of her behavior reflects that lack of self-esteem (to the point where she says it feels like "her soul is screaming every day"). How does someone show themselves love when they're not convinced there's anything about them to love?
• D, who loves to dance but whose husband is not supportive of her passion. How can she get over the guilt she feels in pursuing something that her spouse doesn't understand or particularly like?
• Christine, who says she recently sabotaged a very new relationship because she's unsure that she wants to be a stepmom to his 3 kids one day. Did she jump the gun? Is it wrong for her to expect a life of "firsts" with a future partner, rather than be someone's second spouse/co-parent?

At the beginning of this episode we also have a REALLY good update from someone whose question we answered in December. Let's just say it's very karmically satisfying.

After you've listened, leave us a comment to let us know how our advice for these three listeners resonated with you!

Want to submit a question for our February episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form and you might hear us tackle your Q!

IF YOU LIKED THIS YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO…

Side Chat: Fruit of the poisonous tree (August 2019)

Side Chat: The trick to overcoming your deepest, most secret blocks (May 2019)

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To close out this month, year, and decade on a high note, Rachel thought it would be a nice, full-circle moment to sit down with Deirdre, one of her first clients ever and someone she's known for nearly ten years!

Deirdre has had her share of ups and downs in the last ten years, like most of us. And how this decade looks at the end—living in Scotland, running her own business—is very different than how it looked at the beginning.

So, how did she end up quitting her job, moving to another country, and starting her own business? Rachel and Deirdre got into that in this year's last interview with a normal person!

They talked about…

• How lost, confused, and underwhelmed Deirdre felt in her first job post-college.
• The series of ill-fitting jobs and work environments she endured over the years.
• How she went out on a limb and put her money where her mouth was, quite literally, to invest in her potential.
• How she stayed patient and determined, despite plenty of failure, rejection, and crickets when starting her own business.
• Her and Rachel's advice for you, if you want the next decade to look very different than this one!

After you listen come leave a comment to share how Deirdre's journey resonated with you!

IF YOU LIKED THIS EPISODE, LISTEN TO THESE NEXT

Expecting the perfect job to be your savior with Sarah Knight (October 2019)

Taking a year-long sabbatical from work with Francine Mends (September 2019)

When you get your dream job … and hate it with normal person Ella (July 2019)

Getting what you want, then losing it with Sara Griffin (June 2019)

LINKS

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First thing's first—Happy birthday to Kristen!

Given that it's already a special day, and given that we're less than two weeks away from 2020, we decided to do a special "decade in review" episode to really cap off the day/month/year/decade in epic fashion.

We're going back and mining 10 years' worth of highs, lows, and wisdom, in the hope that you can take some of what we've learned and save yourself a couple years' worth of angst, confusion, and misdirection in the 2020s!

We got into…

• Who both of us were at the beginning of this decade, and who we are now (and the not-so-pretty journey in between those points).
• The "bitter pill" each of us had to swallow in this decade—AKA, the lessons we each had to learn, over and over again, somewhat against our will.
• A few major low points, high points, and one incredibly shocking moment.
• How we each found the light at the end of the tunnel, after many years of fear, hopelessness, and disbelief that things would change or work out.
• Our guidance to you, if you want your 2020s to be better than your 2010s.

After you listen come leave a comment to share what some of your biggest lessons were from this decade! We'd love to hear.

LAST DAY TO GET $50 OFF THE PPSC!

Today, Tuesday, December 17th, is the LAST day we're offering a holiday special on The Passion Profile Short Course!

Until the end of the day, the course will be $50 off its usual price with code HOLIDAY. Anyone who signs up before then will get access to a LIVE online workshop with us in January (date TBD) where we'll be answering questions and talking about how to set "anti-resolutions" in the new year (AKA, goals you'll actually stick to). AND (this is a big one) anyone who signs up will also get grandfathered into our 2019 coaching rates, and will get a chance to do coaching before we open enrollment again in March!

The PPSC is like a recipe for your career path. It's the "secret sauce" that takes the thought out of trying to plot your career direction and prevents you from wasting years of your life hopping from job to job, hoping that you eventually stumble across something you love.

If your career has you feeling stuck, confused, and overwhelmed, and if you're starting to wonder if you might be "broken," then the PPSC is the perfect place for you to start your new career journey.

You can get unstuck, feel confident that you're on the right track, and build the foundation you need to have a thriving career and life — in as little as one day.

The PPSC might be right for you if:

• You're looking for a way to get un-stuck that doesn't involve a lot of time, money, or complication (it's a 5-ish hour, video-based DIY course with workbook prompts).
• You've been hoping for a simple answer to this whole "finding career direction" thing.
• You don't know where to start and wish someone would tell you what to do about your career situation.
• You loved your Passion Profile Quiz result and want your life to actually align with what you read.

Remember, use code HOLIDAY before the end of the day for $50 off, plus the bonuses we mentioned above!

LINKS

Leave us a comment on this episode

Take the Passion Profile Quiz

Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

Check out our YouTube channel

If you're at all familiar with the laws of the universe, you understand that being overly attached to an outcome is big no-no: When you cling to something you tend to push it further away.

But does that mean we should all become Zen monks who have literally no attachments to anything?? No desires or preferences whatsoever?

And what happens when you've tried but you just can't let go of how much you want something? Does that mean you've doomed yourself to never have it?

We're getting into the fear of never getting what you want in this month's new side chat! We talked about …

• How Rachel really struggled with this in 2019.
• Where to draw the line between wanting something to a healthy degree vs. being overly attached to it.
• Why thinking you need to be 100% unattached to your desires actually makes it harder to get the things you want.
• What to do when things aren't happening in the timeframe you wanted.

After you listen come leave a comment to share what you're struggling to detach from, and how this episode resonated with you!

HOLIDAY SPECIAL ON THE PPSC!

Until next Tuesday, December 17th, we're offering a holiday special on The Passion Profile Short Course!

• For this week, the course will be $50 off its usual price with code HOLIDAY.
• Anyone who signs up before the 17th will get access to a LIVE online workshop with us in January (date TBD) where we'll be answering questions and talking about how to set "anti-resolutions" in the new year (AKA, goals you'll actually stick to).
• AND (this is a big one) anyone who signs up before the 17th will also get grandfathered into our 2019 coaching rates, and will get a chance to do coaching before we open enrollment again in March!

The PPSC is like a recipe for your career path. It's the "secret sauce" that takes the thought out of trying to plot your career direction and prevents you from wasting years of your life hopping from job to job, hoping that you eventually stumble across something you love.

If your career has you feeling stuck, confused, and overwhelmed, and if you're starting to wonder if you might be "broken," then the PPSC is the perfect place for you to start your new career journey.

You can get unstuck, feel confident that you're on the right track, and build the foundation you need to have a thriving career and life — in as little as one day.

The PPSC might be right for you if:

• You're looking for a way to get un-stuck that doesn't involve a lot of time, money, or complication (it's a 5-ish hour, video-based DIY course with workbook prompts).
• You've been hoping for a simple answer to this whole "finding career direction" thing.
• You don't know where to start and wish someone would tell you what to do about your career situation.
• You loved your Passion Profile Quiz result and want your life to actually align with what you read.

Remember, you've got until December 17th to get $50 off with code HOLIDAY!

IF YOU LIKED THIS EPISODE, LISTEN TO THESE NEXT

Side Chat: A mind-blowing, time-bending analogy (October 2018)

Side Chat: A tough love smackdown (August 2018)

Bonus Book Club! Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver (November 2018)

Blog: When you always want more than you have right now (September 2019)

LINKS

Leave us a comment on this episode

Take the Passion Profile Quiz

Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

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I was sitting in a coffee shop the other day, doing some work on my laptop, sipping my after-lunch tea and enjoying the relative quiet, when a rush of people flooded in all at once.

I looked up to see that my quiet little coffee shop, which had been practically empty just 10 minutes before, now was bustling with noise and had a line out the door.

I checked the time — yep, the 2pm coffee rush. It got me thinking, what's with the collective need for a caffeine boost mid-afternoon?

I'm sure there are many explanations for why so many of us hit that 2pm slump (not enough sleep, heavy lunches that make you drowsy, sitting for too long, etc.), but I think the biggest reason is because most people's work is much more draining than it is energizing.

If you spend most of your workday doing things that slowly siphon off your energy, and you don't have enough natural ways to replenish it, then of course you'll feel the need to boost your energy reserves any way you can.

Enter, the 2pm latte.

Without some way to re-energize yourself, you're running on fumes and can hardly make it to the end of the workday, much less do anything fun or productive in your free hours post-work. While I love a good coffee as much as the next girl, I don't want you to feel like you have to rely on caffeine (or any other external energy booster) just to barely get through the day.

What if there were a way for you to naturally replenish your energy throughout the day through your work, instead of in spite of your work?

I'm diving into how to do just that, in this throwback blog from 2017!

HOLIDAY SPECIAL ON THE PPSC STARTS TODAY!

Starting TODAY, (Tuesday, December 10th) and ending on the 17th, we're offering a holiday special on The Passion Profile Short Course!

• For this week, the course will be $50 off its usual price with code HOLIDAY.
• Anyone who signs up before the 17th will get access to a LIVE online workshop with us in January (date TBD) where we'll be answering questions and talking about how to set "anti-resolutions" in the new year (AKA, goals you'll actually stick to).
• AND (this is a big one) anyone who signs up before the 17th will also get grandfathered into our 2019 coaching rates, and will get a chance to do coaching before we open enrollment again in March!

The PPSC is like a recipe for your career path. It's the "secret sauce" that takes the thought out of trying to plot your career direction and prevents you from wasting years of your life hopping from job to job, hoping that you eventually stumble across something you love.

If your career has you feeling stuck, confused, and overwhelmed, and if you're starting to wonder if you might be "broken," then the PPSC is the perfect place for you to start your new career journey.

You can get unstuck, feel confident that you're on the right track, and build the foundation you need to have a thriving career and life — in as little as one day.

The PPSC might be right for you if:

• You're looking for a way to get un-stuck that doesn't involve a lot of time, money, or complication (it's a 5-ish hour, video-based DIY course with workbook prompts).
• You've been hoping for a simple answer to this whole "finding career direction" thing.
• You don't know where to start and wish someone would tell you what to do about your career situation.
• You loved your Passion Profile Quiz result and want your life to actually align with what you read.

Remember, you've got until December 17th to get $50 off with code HOLIDAY!

LINKS

Leave us a comment on this episode

Take the Passion Profile Quiz

Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

Check out our YouTube channel

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.

On this episode we're answering questions from:

• Jessica, whose boss forgets or ignores every one of her birthdays and work milestones, even though that same boss gives thoughtful gifts, cakes, and cards to her co-workers. What gives?? Should she say something, or is it immature to complain about this?
• Victoria, a hard-working and exhausted mom who wants to take a break from working for a while. The problem is, her husband doesn't understand or support her desire for rest. How can she make him see that taking a break would be good for her (and what happens if he says no?)
• JoAnn, who recently changed careers and is doubting whether she made the right choice. What happens next after you make a transition you regret?

After you've listened, leave us a comment to let us know how our advice for these three listeners resonated with you!

Want to submit a question for our January episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form and you might hear us tackle your Q!

HOLIDAY SPECIAL ON THE PPSC STARTS NEXT WEEK! Starting Tuesday, December 10 (and ending on the 17th) we're offering a holiday special on The Passion Profile Short Course!

• For that week, the course will be $50 off its usual price.
• Anyone who signs up in that window will get access to a LIVE online workshop with us in January (date TBD) where we'll be answering questions and talking about how to set "anti-resolutions" in the new year (AKA, goals you'll actually stick to).
• AND (this is a big one) anyone who signs up during that window will also get grandfathered into our 2019 coaching rates, and will get a chance to do coaching before we open enrollment again in March!

The PPSC is the easiest place to get started if you're new to Clarity on Fire and need help getting unstuck. It's only 5-ish hours, which means you can sit down and find some career direction in as little as one day.

Tune in to our episode from Tuesday, November 26 to hear us dive more into why getting clear on your Passion Profile matters so much more than focusing on "finding your passion."

And if you want more Passion Profile content, check out these episodes, too:

Side Chat: The 4 Passion Profiles (December 2018)

Sorting Harry Potter characters by Passion Profile (May 2019)

IF YOU LIKED THIS EPISODE, LISTEN TO THIS NEXT…

Side Chat: How to work like a woman (in a world that doesn't want you to) (April 2018)

LINKS

Leave us a comment on this episode

Take the Passion Profile Quiz

Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

Check out our YouTube channel

It's a tale as old as time:

Girl meets boy. Boy is kind of lame, or a bit of a jerk, or not super committed to the idea of a relationship. But ah, boy could be so much more! There's a glimmer of ambition and wisdom and emotional availability under the surface, and girl is going to mine that for all it's worth.

Until, inevitably, she's gob-smacked by reality when boy fails to change, reciprocate her efforts, or become the partner she built up in her head. Not for the first, nor usually the last time, she has to learn that not all that glitters is gold.

And lest you think this is a stereotypical example (it is, and for good reason), keep in mind that people of all genders do this with everyone — bosses, coworkers, friends, family.

It's a near-universal human compulsion to see potential in people. And that reflects nicely on humans, in general. But that tendency is also easy to take too far.

So, how do you stop torturing yourself with other people's potential? And how do you know when someone actually does have the potential to change? When is it right to give up on someone, versus stick it out with them?

I'm diving into the answers to all of that in this month's new blog!

HOLIDAY SPECIAL ON THE PPSC STARTS NEXT WEEK!

Starting Tuesday, December 10th (and ending on the 17th), we're offering a holiday special on The Passion Profile Short Course!

• For that week, the course will be $50 off its usual price.
• Anyone who signs up in that window will get access to a LIVE online workshop with us in January (date TBD) where we'll be answering questions and talking about how to set "anti-resolutions" in the new year (AKA, goals you'll actually stick to).
• AND (this is a big one) anyone who signs up during that window will also get grandfathered into our 2019 coaching rates, and will get a chance to do coaching before we open enrollment again in March!

The PPSC is the easiest place to get started if you're new to Clarity on Fire and need help getting unstuck. It's only 5-ish hours, which means you can sit down and find some career direction in as little as one day.

Tune in to our episode from Tuesday, November 26, to hear us dive more into why getting clear on your Passion Profile matters so much more than focusing on "finding your passion."

And if you want more Passion Profile content, check out these episodes, too:

Side Chat: The 4 Passion Profiles (December 2018)

Sorting Harry Potter characters by Passion Profile (May 2019)

IF YOU LIKED THIS EPISODE, LISTEN TO THIS NEXT…

Side Chat: When you want to fix someone, but can't (March 2019)

Blog: Stop going to the hardware store for milk (November 2018)

Side Chat: The 4 attachment styles (October 2019)

LINKS

Leave us a comment on this episode

Take the Passion Profile Quiz

Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

Check out our YouTube channel