Allow me to assure you: I love the world we live in.

As screwed up as it can be, and as much work as it clearly needs (I'm lookin' at you, American politics), I wouldn't trade being alive in the 21st century for any other time. (You could tempt me with a time-traveling foray to ancient Rome, though. #historydork)

The western world is decidedly imperfect, but it's hard to argue with equal rights and the opportunity to decide for myself what "freedom" means.

I also love how much I, and my fellow women, are benefitting from the really loud — and rightfully so — ongoing dialogue about equality, particularly when it comes to our pay. Feminism (which is really not a complicated concept) has been made normal, and at this point it's pretty damn sketchy if you aren't on board.

Are you sensing a "but" coming?

I'm a coach who spends most of her time helping people — the majority of them women — figure out what their passion is and how to live it through their career.

And as a female entrepreneur, I'm in circles with a lot of other women in business. So it's safe to say that I've got a front-row seat when it comes to watching women "kill it" in their careers and actively pursue "having it all."

We're a pretty loud and proud bunch, too. And unsurprisingly, we've got a LOT of names for ourselves … in the form of hashtags, obviously. Say 'em as fast as you can:

#girlboss #ladyboss #bosslady #badassladyboss #bossbabe #businessbabe #bizbabe #womeninbusiness #womeninbiz #womenentrepreneurs #femaleentrepreneur #femalefounder … you get it.

It's quite rad that there are so many women making their mark on the world, and I love that we're celebrating each other's accomplishments.

BUT … (I feel like I'm telling a huge secret here) … I don't actually want to be a #girlboss, or even a #ladyboss, and certainly not a #bizbabe.

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE E-BOOK!

This blog is one of the featured pieces in our free e-book: What am I meant to do with my life? (Almost) everything we know about finding your passion and having a fulfilling career.

Download the e-book, and check out the other free e-book collections here.

LINKS

• Read the written version of this blog and leave comments here
• Download free "I'm not in it to win, I'm in it to live" wallpapers here
• Free E-Book: What am I meant to do with my life? (Almost) everything we know about finding your passion and having a fulfilling career
• Submit a question for the next episode of Dear Krachel, our monthly podcast advice column
• Take the Passion Profile Quiz

So, I (Rachel) am turning 30 in just a few days. And in true nerd fashion, I wanted to celebrate by having a deep conversation. It's a party in Ravenclaw tower, ya'll. BYOB. Bring your own butterbeer. ;)

I insisted on being the "normal person" for this month's interview, because I'm always the expert (well, at least when you hear me on the podcast ... not so sure about the rest of the time!).

Kristen came up with a bunch of questions that I didn't get to prepare for, so enjoy my spur-of-the-moment musings about …

• How I feel about turning 30. (SO many mixed feelings!)
• The best and worst things that happened in my 20s (I delve into the worst year of my life … it was a DOOZY).
• What I used to believe, and why I no longer believe it.
• Why I couldn't take a deep breath for most of my 20s, and how I recovered from crippling anxiety.
• My best wisdom for anyone still in their 20s and looking to make the most of it (in true fashion, my advice is so NOT age-specific).
• PLUS, she subjected me to a SERIOUSLY DIFFICULT lightening round of "this or that" questions like, "Kate Middleton or Meghan Markle?" and "Order of the Phoenix or Deathly Hallows?" A true Sophie's Choice situation!

Want to give me a birthday treat? If you haven't had a chance yet, leave us a rating and a review on the podcast! It'd make my day!

And after you've listened, hop on over to the comments section and tell me how this episode resonated with you, and particularly what YOUR answers would be for the lightening round questions!

IF YOU LIKED THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL ALSO LOVE…

• Emotional constipation with Joanna Platt
• How to find your tribe and grow a network with Carolyn Birsky
• Side Chat: How to figure out what to do with your life

BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS FROM THIS EPISODE

• Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver
• E-Squared by Pam Grout
• The Unmistakeable Touch of Grace by Cheryl Richardson
• Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle

LINKS

• Leave comments on this episode here
• Submit a question for the next episode of Dear Krachel, our monthly podcast advice column
• Take the Passion Profile Quiz

I hardly ever share this story because, well frankly, it's not my proudest moment. But here goes…

I quit my first full-time "adult" job after only 5 weeks. I'm not a total jerk, so I did give 2 weeks notice, but that only put me there for a whopping 7 weeks total. (That was not a fun conversation with my boss, let me tell you.)

Almost immediately after starting that job, I realized I'd made a big mistake. In my impatience to get a "real" job after graduating, I said yes to the first offer I got. And on Day 1 — walking around that tiny government office, surrounded exclusively by men three times my age, sitting in subcommittee meetings about topics I can't even care enough to try to remember now — I already had an unsettled feeling in my gut that was warning me, "Uh oh, this isn't right. You don't belong here."

A few weeks in, I'd just sat through my third hour-long meeting where we debated — inconclusively, once again — whether or not to create a company LinkedIn page (seriously?? This is LinkedIn, you guys, not a strategy for world peace), when I checked my email to see that I had another job offer.

The company offering me this new job was about as opposite as you could possibly get from the one I was already at. Where my current office was small, old, stuffy, and maddeningly slow-paced, this new company was large, young, casual, and fast-paced.

A total 180-degree contrast. I figured that if I hated this place, then I'd probably love something that was the complete opposite. So I jumped at it. Yeahhh, it doesn't work like that…

In this week's blog, I'm sharing how to use what you DON'T want to figure out what you DO want.

WANT HELP WITH THIS?

We made you a FREE downloadable worksheet that will walk you through 5 steps to use what you don't want to get clear on what you do want — particularly if what you do want is a dream job (though honestly, this process applies to anything and everything).

Enter your name and email at the bottom of this page, and we'll send the worksheet straight to your inbox

LINKS

• Download our e-book: What am I meant to do with my life? (Almost) everything we know about finding your passion and having a fulfilling career
• Read the written version of this blog and leave comments here
• Submit a question for the next episode of Dear Krachel, our monthly podcast advice column
• Take the Passion Profile Quiz

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.

On this episode, we're answering questions from:

• Alyx, whose favorite team member just quit, making her realize that she actually hates working with the rest of her co-workers. Is it crazy to want to quit a job she loves because she can't stand who she works with?
• Amber, who's tried everything and can't find a way to get what she wants (be a stay-at-home mom to her son). What do you do when you're at the end of your rope, nothing has worked, and you don't know what else to try?
• April, who's curious about how we became coaches, and wants to know if we've got any advice for people interested in getting into coaching (we totally do!).

After you've listened, leave us a comment to let us know if our advice for these three ladies resonated with you, too.

Want to submit a question for our September episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form and you might hear us tackle your Q!

MUDDLED AND CONFUSED?

Sometimes it's really hard to get out of your head and know how you actually feel. How can you figure out what you really want when you can't see anything clearly?

If you've reached a point where you're tired of being stagnant and confused, AND... If you want individual attention, someone to hold you accountable, and the benefit of our substantial experience focused solely on you … all so that you can make more progress in a matter of months than you'd make in years on your own, then 1-on-1 coaching may be ideal for you.

Get clear on the details and reach out to us to talk about coaching here.

LINKS

• Leave us a comment on this episode
• Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver
• The International Coach Federation (ICF)
• The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC)
• Email us at [email protected] with questions about becoming a coach
• Take the Passion Profile Quiz
• Submit your question for a future episode of Dear Krachel

A while back I was catching up with one of my very first clients-turned-friends. (Random aside: This is one of the things I love about coaching. You get to connect with really cool people who often end up becoming lifelong buddies.)

In our conversation she mentioned that an off-the-cuff (and definitely not super serious) analogy I'd made had actually really helped her to see life differently. So much so that she still thinks about it to this day.

(This story involves references to horses and aliens … so don't say I didn't warn ya.)

Rae, my friend and former client, originally came to me for some relationship coaching. Even though you'd think that talking about relationships is completely different than coaching around your career or passion in life … it's really not.

You take your beliefs, triggers and deep fears with you everywhere you go and into anything that you do. What prevents someone from having a healthy relationship is often the exact thing that's getting in the way of having an awesome career.

Anyway, Rae was struggling to let go of something (particularly, a relationship with a guy) that was no longer healthy for her. I'm sure you can relate, in one way or another—you know intellectually that you'd be better off moving on (from the relationship, the friendship, the job, whatever)—but you still feel tied to it because it's all you know.

I sent her an email to help her see things differently, and it changed everything for her. I'm sharing exactly what I said in this week's blog.

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE E-BOOK!

This blog is one of the featured pieces in our free e-book: What is the POINT? A jolt of hope and practical advice for anyone going through an existential crisis.

Download the e-book, and check out the other free e-book collections here.

LIKED THIS? THEN YOU'LL ALSO LOVE …

• Getting unstuck from a beige existence with Nate Otto
• Blog: Why I highly recommend selective amnesia
• Blog: You're not broken or alone (you're just ahead of your time)

LINKS

• Read the written version of this blog and leave comments here
• Free E-Book: What is the POINT? A jolt of hope and practical advice for anyone going through an existential crisis
• Submit a question for the next episode of Dear Krachel, our monthly podcast advice column
• Take the Passion Profile Quiz

About a decade ago Katie Mongelli's life fell apart—she got divorced, became a single mom, and had to move to a different state, far away from the accounting business that she had built on her own and which had become her family's livelihood.

After losing almost everything and having to start over, Katie never took her survival for granted again. For the next 10+ years she built her business back up and then some, complete with staff in multiple physical locations, and a cash flow that provided for a beautiful home and lifestyle.

But even at the height of what looked like extreme success, Katie was the most miserable she'd ever been. Up until 18 months ago she was just scrambling to keep EXISTING; the possibility of LIVING and actively enjoying her life wasn't even on the table.

To say that everything has changed in the last year-and-a-half would be a big understatement.

In this episode of the Clarity on Fire podcast we talked to Katie Mongelli, CPA and Certified Money Coach, about …

• Why conventional, "responsible" advice about money leads so many people down the completely wrong path.
• Why so many of us are viscerally afraid of our finances, and why when we worry, we tend to jump to extremes like imagining ourselves homeless.
• How she transitioned from working 7 days a week, commuting often, and rarely taking breaks to working almost entirely remote, always taking weekends off, and building in plenty of time for naps, Pilates, and time with family.
• AND how she cut WAY back on work without making less money (she even bought a second home after a year of working less!).
• How changing her approach to work also completely altered her relationship with her husband and daughter for the better (neither of them recognize her now, in a good way).
• The first steps you can take to heal your "money story," so that you can stop existing and start LIVING.

IF KATIE DID IT, YOU CAN TOO

If you listen to Katie's story, there's no doubt you'll be impressed. But she'd be the first to tell you that what she did isn't unique to her. Anyone can make a HUGE life shift that leaves them happier and more fulfilled than they'd ever thought possible—but sometimes you can't get there on your own.

Katie and Rachel worked together through 1-on-1 coaching to completely turn her life around. If you're interested in that kind of transformation, with the benefit of expert guidance focused solely on you, 1-on-1 coaching may be a great fit for you, too.

Check out more details and get on our calendar to chat about the possibility, here.

LIKED THIS EPISODE? YOU SHOULD ALSO LISTEN TO …

• Side Chat: How to work like a woman (in a world that doesn't want you to)
• Emotional constipation with Joanna Platt

LINKS

• Join Katie's month-long Facebook Live series about healing your money story
• Learn more about Katie and get info about her group coaching program
• Leave comments on this episode here
• Submit a question for the next episode of Dear Krachel, our monthly podcast advice column
• Take the Passion Profile Quiz

A client of mine, Isabel, feels like her life is majorly in transition right now. She's looking for a new job, applying to graduate programs, and putting her house on the market simultaneously.

All of these things came to a head at the same time this past week: She got two job offers, an acceptance letter for full-time admission to a graduate program, an offer on her house, as well as someone interested in renting her home.

Quality problems, right? But problems, nonetheless. She obviously can't accept both jobs. Nor can she take on a full-time job and go back to grad school full-time. She also can't sell her house, while also renting it out and keeping it as an investment property.

Oprah said it best: "You can have it all. Just not all at once." So Isabel has to make choices. Big choices. Choices between equally appealing options, in different ways.

In this week's blog, I'm giving you 2 specific ways to cut through the overwhelm of too many choices to get to the heart of what you really want, no matter what everyone else thinks you should do.

WANT HELP WITH THIS?

If you're overwhelmed by all of the contradictory advice from people in your life that feels unhelpful and confusing (no matter how well-meaning it is), talking to a coach might be exactly what you need.

Coaching is NOT advice — it's a proven process of helping you get clear on what YOU want, based on your goals, values, and unique personality, so you can make more confident decisions.

If that sounds like the kind of support you need right now, then 1-on-1 coaching might be the perfect thing for you.

Check out our 1-on-1 coaching page and get on our calendar to chat about it, here.

LINKS

Read the written version of this blog and leave comments here

Submit a question for the next episode of Dear Krachel, our monthly podcast advice column

Take the Passion Profile Quiz

Do you remember that scene in E.T. when he (E.T., that is) shuffles out of a closet wearing a dress, high heels, a blonde wig, and a little bowler hat? Do you remember that scene in E.T. when he (E.T., that is) shuffles out of a closet wearing a dress, high heels, a blonde wig, and a little bowler hat?

Yeah, I didn't really remember it either, until Rachel brought it up on this week's podcast.

She was using that very vivid mental picture (you should really Google "E.T. in a wig" if you want to laugh) to describe how she's always felt about dating—she's E.T. in a wig, and everyone else is a tan, gleaming contestant on the Bachelor.

Obviously this made me LOL. Not only because it's a hilarious analogy, but because from the outside, it's patently ridiculous. Of course she's not a weird alien, trying and failing miserably to perform a common human ritual (dating).

But as dubious as it sounds to me, it feels true to HER, and that's what impostor syndrome is all about—You're constantly afraid that you're going to be "found out" as the fraud you fear you "truly" are, regardless of how silly or illogical it seems on the outside.

In this episode of the podcast, we dived in to impostor syndrome and how to overcome it. We covered…

• Where impostor syndrome comes from, and why it's so sneaky (hint, it's because everyone has it, but no one's willing to talk about it).
• Why high achievers and intelligent people are actually the MOST likely to suffer from it.
• Why impostor syndrome tends to go hand-in-hand with the feeling that something came "too easily" to us.
• How to tell if you're experiencing impostor syndrome, versus when you might ACTUALLY be an impostor.
• Plus, I coached Rachel on the fly about her impostor syndrome, and we got to the bottom of what's going on.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ON YOUR OWN

As you'll become very clear on after hearing this episode, the roots of impostor syndrome run deep. And they can be hard to completely eradicate on your own. After all, the fears and old, sticky beliefs that make you feel like a fraud are often things you're not fully conscious of.

The whole point of coaching is to help you become conscious of things you didn't know were there, but have been sabotaging you nonetheless. If you'd like some expert help with letting go of that old crap once and for all (while being able to relax into a process that's worked for thousands of other people), 1-on-1 coaching may be the perfect fit for you right now.

Want to get more info and set up a time to talk to us about the possibility? Check out our 1-on-1 coaching page here, and click "Let's talk about it."

LINKS

• Leave comments on this episode here
• Submit a question for the next episode of Dear Krachel, our monthly podcast advice column
• Take the Passion Profile Quiz

Most of you know by now that my six-year-old black lab, Scarlett, is having a boring summer.

She tore a muscle in her back leg a few months ago, and since then she's been going to physical therapy and slowly getting back to normal. But it's going to be a while until she's cleared to run and swim and jump—all the things she'd rather be doing, basically. For now, all she's allowed to do is walk.

This shouldn't be a big deal because most dogs love walks. But not mine. Even in colder weather she's not much of a fan (Walking just for the sake of it? With no other goal in mind? That's insanely dull. And on 97 degree days? That's tantamount to torture).

Which leaves me in a pickle. She's got to exercise so that she doesn't go stir-crazy. But when I take her out, she'll only walk for 10 minutes and then turn around. Or she'll lay prone on the path and refuse to move. Or she'll roll over and play dead.

And trust me. There is NO WAY to get a 70-pound animal to do what you want if they refuse. I've tried dragging, pushing, bribing, and cajoling. There's no amount of force that works on this dog.

So, I've had to outsmart her. I've taken to enlisting friends to walk with me, when I can ("pack walks" are magically entertaining compared to just me, it turns out). I pick random locations in my area and drive there to let her explore a new place. Sometimes we walk home and I have to go back and get the car later.

This battle with her has been a really good example of something I've tried to master for a long time, but clearly I'm still learning—the path of least resistance works SO much better than force.

So, on this week's blog I'm talking about the ways in which we make life harder than it needs to be, and why doing the "easy" thing is far more productive (and not at all lazy).

LIKED THIS? THEN YOU'LL ALSO LOVE …

Side Chat: How to work like a woman (in a world that doesn't want you to)

Why watching Netflix is my secret life purpose

Side Chat: We are not the crazy ones (how to tell if you're a highly sensitive person)

LINKS

Read the written version of this blog and leave comments here

Submit a question for the next episode of Dear Krachel, our monthly podcast advice column

Take the Passion Profile Quiz

If you've been feeling trapped, stuck, and directionless in your life and career, it can feel like you're living life in beige, when all you really want is to be living in vibrant color.

Nate Otto has been fighting the beige for years.

In this month's interview with a normal person, Kristen chats with Nate about how he finally broke through a colorless existence and started to find his place in the world. Nate is a brilliant, creative, innovative thinker who suppressed his inner inquisitive nature and vibrant spirit for much of his life before deciding enough was enough.

He decided to stop complaining, get curious, seek support, and make changes. He shares his whole journey with us, in this interview.

On this episode we talk about:

• Why so many of us get stuck in complacency, and the dangers of not questioning the status quo.
• How it feels to be too colorful for your workplace (& life in general), and the heartbreak of not belonging.
• Why complaining is the first step toward change, and how to turn your complaining into action.
• The value of seeking support, instead of always trying to go it alone.
• The stages Nate went through to go from feeling trapped and lost to empowered and directed, and the positive changes he's made as a result.

MORE ABOUT NATE

Nate is a fellow human who loves. — He lives in Seattle, is very tall, and often spends time teaching machines to be polite. He is also often found doing his rendition of the slowly waking up dance.

Like most people, he's felt short and tall, happy and depressed, gay and straight, fat and thin, sick and healthy, old and young, tired and awake, popular and bullied, rich and poor, light and dark, and a good number of vague things in between.

He leaves you with one of his favorite quotes: "What is to give light must endure burning." - Viktor Frankl

LINKS

• Leave comments on this episode here.
• Michael Hyatt's Focus Planner
• The book Captivate, by Vanessa Van Edwards
• Submit a question for the next episode of Dear Krachel, our monthly podcast advice column
• Take the Passion Profile Quiz