Ever caught yourself saying "it's not that bad" when you're feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or simply not yourself? That seemingly innocent phrase carries enormous weight, subtly convincing us to minimize our struggles and postpone getting the support we truly need.

This Mental Health Awareness Month bonus episode tackles high-functioning distress—that space where you're managing responsibilities, showing up for others, and appearing put-together while feeling completely drained inside. Through personal stories and gentle insights, Dr. Angela Downey reveals how functioning doesn't equal thriving, and why waiting until we're at our breaking point to seek help robs us of preventative care that could change everything.

The episode explores why codependents, people pleasers, and overachievers are particularly susceptible to downplaying their mental health needs. Dr. Downey shares a powerful personal experience of receiving a spa day gift only to discover her nervous system had forgotten how to relax—a wake-up call that being "fine" on paper doesn't mean you're well. She challenges the false dichotomy that suggests we can't be both grateful and struggling simultaneously, offering a more compassionate framework for validating our experiences.

Most importantly, this episode reframes mental health support as preventative rather than reactive. Just as we wouldn't wait for a cavity before brushing our teeth or an engine failure before changing our oil, we shouldn't postpone mental healthcare until we're in crisis. Whether you're the family rock, the eternal caregiver, or the high-achieving perfectionist, you deserve support before everything crumbles. Small steps count—booking a therapy consult, admitting to a friend you're struggling, or simply acknowledging to yourself that you're not okay right now. Beca

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In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I dive deep into the phenomenon of love bombing—a term I only discovered a few years ago, despite having experienced it firsthand. We explore what love bombing really is: an overwhelming display of affection, attention, and promises that can feel intoxicating but often masks emotional manipulation.

I share my personal experiences, including a time when I rushed a relationship by introducing someone to my entire family after just one date, highlighting how easy it is to mistake intense feelings for genuine connection. We discuss the psychological and biological factors that make love bombing so effective, especially for those of us with unmet emotional needs or past traumas.

Throughout the episode, I provide listeners with practical tools to identify red flags of love bombing, such as feeling overwhelmed, noticing inconsistencies between words and actions, and experiencing pressure to reciprocate intensity. I emphasize the importance of trusting your gut and recognizing that healthy love unfolds over time, respecting boundaries and individual needs.

By the end of the episode, I hope to empower you with the knowledge to protect your heart and foster healthier relationships. Remember, love bombing is not true love; it’s intensity in disguise. Join me next week as we tackle the topic of neglect. Thank you for listening, and take care of yourselves!

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We often think mental health transformation requires dramatic life changes, but what if the most powerful shifts happen through tiny, consistent habits? That's exactly what I discovered through my own journey of healing from codependency and burnout.

In this intimate bonus episode for Mental Health Awareness Month, I share six small mindset shifts that fundamentally changed my relationship with myself and others. From learning to pause before automatically saying "yes" to embracing rest without guilt, these practices aren't revolutionary—they're accessible, everyday tools anyone can implement without feeling overwhelmed.

My journey began with noticing how harshly I spoke to myself—words I'd never direct at someone I loved. When my daughter pointed this out, it sparked a gradual transformation in my self-talk. Similarly, I had to slowly rewrite deep-seated negative beliefs about myself, not by forcing positivity but by finding authentic stepping stones toward self-acceptance. Even something as simple as noting one small moment of gratitude each day has softened how I experience difficult times.

Perhaps most powerful for someone with codependent tendencies was learning that boundaries don't need grand announcements—sometimes they're as quiet as not immediately responding to a message or leaving a gathering when your energy depletes. These small acts of self-protection have helped my nervous system finally exhale.

The beautiful thing about these practices is that you don't need to master them all at once. Mental health isn't about perfection; it's about showing up for yourself in real, everyday ways. If something here resonates, try incorporating just one tiny shift. Your healing journey doesn't need to be dramatic to be profound—sometimes it starts with just one small habit.

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I am so excited to share my codependency recovery workbook with you. Click on the link to be brough to Enough As I Am on Amazon.

In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I delve into the painful experience of the silent treatment—what it is, why people use it, and how it can deeply affect relationships. I share my own experiences with the silent treatment and highlight how it can trigger feelings of confusion, shame, and anxiety, especially for those who have grown up in environments where silence was used as a form of punishment.

We explore the underlying reasons why individuals resort to the silent treatment, including a desire for control, emotional immaturity, and learned behaviors from childhood. I emphasize that this form of emotional withdrawal is not just hurtful in the moment but can leave lasting scars, eroding trust and emotional intimacy in relationships.

I also discuss the difference between healthy communication and the silent treatment, stressing the importance of expressing feelings rather than withdrawing. For those who find themselves on the receiving end, I encourage listeners to recognize their worth and set boundaries, while also considering the patterns they are willing to accept in their relationships.

As we wrap up, I offer reflection exercises to help listeners examine their own communication styles and conflict resolution strategies. Remember, it's about growth and learning healthier ways to handle conflict without resorting to silence as a weapon. Join me next week as we tackle the topic of love bombing and what to watch out for in relationships. Thank you for being part of this journey towards healthier connections!

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I am so excited to share my codependency recovery workbook with you. Click on the link to be brough to Enough As I Am on Amazon.

What does it really mean to take care of our mental health? Beyond diagnoses and therapy sessions lies the everyday work of nurturing our emotional well-being—a practice we often overlook until we're approaching burnout.

During Mental Health Awareness Month, I wanted to share some hard-won insights about what mental wellness actually looks like in our daily lives. Through a recent experience where my brain immediately jumped to worst-case scenarios about a simple meeting with my boss, I demonstrate how even when we're doing well, our mental health requires ongoing attention. That primitive "lizard brain" response doesn't disappear; we simply get better at recognizing and managing it before spiraling.

For those of us with codependent tendencies, this journey presents unique challenges. When you're accustomed to prioritizing everyone else's needs, simply asking yourself "what do I need today?" can feel foreign or selfish. Yet that question has transformed from feeling indulgent to essential in my own healing journey. Mental health isn't about fixing something broken—it's about consistent, compassionate self-care through small daily acts: saying no without over-explaining, allowing yourself to rest before exhaustion forces you to stop, or taking five minutes to breathe when overwhelmed.

The myth that strength means never needing support has caused untold damage. True strength lies in vulnerability—in acknowledging when you can't do it all alone. You don't need to wait for a crisis to deserve attention to your mental well-being. Like tending a garden, the small acts of care you provide yourself today create the foundation for resilience tomorrow. This Mental Health Awareness Month, I invite you to join me in normalizing everyday mental health practices. You are worth that care.

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I am so excited to share my codependency recovery workbook with you. Click on the link to be brough to Enough As I Am on Amazon.

In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I delve into the concept of losing ourselves in the roles we play, whether as a professional, a parent, or a caregiver. Many of us tie our self-worth to our titles and responsibilities, often without realizing it, leading to feelings of being stuck, lost, or drained. I share my personal journey of how I identified too closely with my role as a doctor, to the point where I struggled to articulate who I was beyond that title.

We explore the societal pressures that encourage us to define ourselves by our achievements and productivity, often at the expense of our true selves. I discuss the risks of this mindset, including burnout, fear of change, and the slow loss of personal identity.

To help listeners reconnect with their authentic selves, I offer practical steps, such as spending time alone, revisiting old hobbies, and asking reflective questions about joy and identity. I encourage everyone to introduce themselves in ways that reflect their passions rather than their roles, and to embrace the complexity of being more than just a title.

As I wrap up, I share my excitement about my upcoming book, Enough As I Am, which focuses on self-acceptance and personal growth. I invite listeners to engage with journal exercises that promote self-discovery.

 Remember, you are enough just as you are, and it's time to reclaim your authentic self.

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I am so excited to share my codependency recovery workbook with you. Click on the link to be brough to Enough As I Am on Amazon.

 In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I delve into the often-overlooked aspect of healing: the loneliness that can accompany personal growth. While healing is frequently portrayed as a beautiful and empowering journey, it can also feel isolating, especially when you start setting boundaries and stepping away from toxic patterns.

I discuss how this loneliness is not a sign of failure but rather a natural part of the healing process. As you begin to prioritize yourself and your needs, you may notice shifts in your relationships, with some people drifting away as you no longer fulfill the roles they relied on. This can feel disorienting and even painful, but it’s essential to recognize that you are making space for healthier connections.

Throughout the episode, I encourage listeners to embrace the quiet moments that come with this transition. Instead of rushing to fill the void, I suggest taking time to reconnect with yourself, exploring old hobbies, and allowing yourself to be curious and playful. I also emphasize the importance of seeking safe support during this time, whether through therapy, support groups, or online communities.

Ultimately, I remind you that loneliness is not a punishment but a doorway to deeper self-discovery and more authentic relationships. As you navigate this journey, remember that you are not alone, and the space you are creating will lead to a more fulfilling and joyful life.

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I am so excited to share my codependency recovery workbook with you. Click on the link to be brough to Enough As I Am on Amazon.

In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I delve into the complex and often misunderstood concept of "victim mode." As a family doctor and fellow codependent, I understand that many of us have experienced feelings of powerlessness, especially after trauma, burnout, or in the context of codependency. This episode is designed to foster compassion and self-awareness, rather than judgment, as we explore how victim mode manifests in our lives and how we can begin to shift out of it.

I start by defining victim mode as a mindset where individuals feel as though life is constantly happening to them, leading to a sense of helplessness and resentment. This mindset can stem from real experiences of trauma, emotional neglect, or feeling unheard, and it often results in a long-term identity that can be difficult to break free from. I emphasize that while many listeners may have valid reasons for their pain, it’s crucial to recognize when that pain transforms into a belief that nothing will ever change.

Throughout the episode, I highlight the signs of being stuck in victim mode, such as feeling like nothing works out, blaming others for our circumstances, and retelling painful stories that define our identities. I encourage listeners to approach these signs with curiosity rather than shame, recognizing that they are often survival strategies learned in response to past experiences.

I also discuss how victim mode can impact our relationships, leading to feelings of being taken advantage of, expecting others to read our minds, and avoiding direct communication. These patterns can create a cycle of disconnection and disappointment, even when those around us are

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I am so excited to share my codependency recovery workbook with you. Click on the link to be brough to Enough As I Am on Amazon.

In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I dive deep into the topic of burnout, a personal experience that has significantly shaped my life and career. Burnout is more than just feeling tired; it's a profound exhaustion that affects our body, mind, and emotions, often creeping up on us until we hit a breaking point. I share my own struggles with burnout, including moments of emotional outbursts and the toll it took on my health and relationships.

We explore the three key dimensions of burnout as defined by psychologist Christina Maslach: emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and reduced personal accomplishment. I discuss how burnout manifests in various areas of life, from work to personal relationships, and the signs to look out for, including physical symptoms like chronic fatigue and emotional signs like irritability and detachment.

I emphasize the importance of recognizing burnout as a signal that something needs to change, rather than a personal failure. Recovery requires intentional steps, including prioritizing rest, setting boundaries, and building a support system. I encourage listeners to reflect on their own experiences with burnout and to consider what changes they can make to foster a healthier relationship with themselves.

As we wrap up, I provide reflection exercises to help you identify your energy drains and explore ways to reclaim joy in your life. Remember, self-care isn't selfish; it's essential for preventing burnout and nurturing your well-being. Join me next week as we discuss being stuck in victim mode. Thank you for listening, and take care!

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I am so excited to share my codependency recovery workbook with you. Click on the link to be brough to Enough As I Am on Amazon.

In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I delve into the complex emotions of jealousy and envy—two feelings that many of us grapple with but often struggle to understand. As we explore these emotions, I aim to shed light on how they can impact our self-worth and relationships, particularly in the context of codependency.

I begin by discussing the common experience of feeling jealous or envious, whether it’s triggered by a friend’s engagement or someone’s apparent confidence. These emotions, while natural, can lead to feelings of insecurity, bitterness, and even resentment if left unchecked. I emphasize that jealousy and envy are not inherently bad; rather, they serve as signals that reveal our fears and values.

To clarify the distinction between the two, I explain that jealousy is the fear of losing something we already possess, while envy is the desire for something someone else has. I provide relatable examples to illustrate how these emotions manifest in our lives, such as feeling threatened when a partner spends time with someone attractive (jealousy) or longing for a friend’s relationship (envy).

Throughout the episode, I highlight how these feelings can become particularly overwhelming in codependent relationships, where self-worth is often tied to external validation. I discuss various ways jealousy can manifest, including the fear of being replaced, the need for constant reassurance, controlling behaviors, and feelings of rejection over minor actions.

I also address how envy can show up in our lives, often leading to comparisons that diminish our self-esteem. I encourage listeners to shift their mindset from comparison to inspirat

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I am so excited to share my codependency recovery workbook with you. Click on the link to be brough to Enough As I Am on Amazon.