It can be easy, particularly when those outside a situation offer advice, to overlook the history of trauma that may exist for a family member. CRAFT takes the idea of healing out of a therapy model, to a community-based model. It's a long-term process of learning new tools and ways to interact. It begins with family members understanding themselves, their patterns and reactivity, so they're equipped for the long-term work of healing -- with the support of Allies in Recovery all along the way.

Our hosts discuss their joy in witnessing the progress of families in their groups. If you’re helping your loved one, start with yourself and your own healing. Healing is, Kayla says, not best done alone. And with Allies in Recovery, you don’t have to do it alone. You get to be part of a group of people doing the work, and get support not just for concepts, but for implementing the powerful tools of CRAFT. This is the work that can help your loved one.

When your loved one is returning, communicate and collaborate -- about your expectations, concerns, and plans. Keep on collaborating over time, so that if concerns arise, your loved one can take responsibility and have agency, so that you're not running the show on your own. Without their "skin in the game," little can change. Model engagement, which is also part of the treatment process.

Don't assume someone is lying or "in denial." At Allies, we believe  family members and loved ones are aware of what's happening -- even when they don't really want to know. We can see things as complicated -- or  ambivalent, a struggle between two orientations -- and know it takes time to move through a process.

Holidays. Winter. How do you deal? Start by shifting expectations about how things might go, and who might be there. Have conversations about “soft” expectations with your loved one in advance. Consider alternative plans, and take care of yourself. Stick with people who support you. How can you shift yourself, your belief system, and your behavior? Share duties, and consider an alcohol-free holiday, whether your loved one has any issue with it or not. 

If you find yourself swept away in the undertow of negative thinking about what might happen and how you might prevent it, the number-one tool to use is stepping back, noticing that you're doing it. Number two is deciding to shift it, starting with "no negative talk." And third is hitting the metaphorical "reset" button, finding something to soothe yourself. At first, it may not go well, but over time, you can get good at it.

In part 2 of 2, Jaclyn Brown talks about her personal journey in the wake of losing her brother. For her, advocacy and harm reduction work became a way to find her own voice and power after feeling guilty and helpless. To hear more of Jaclyn's story, be sure to check out our earlier interviews with her.

"The universe is trying to tell me something" -- Guest Jaclyn Brown returns to discuss her advocacy and harm reduction work in the wake of losing her brother. To hear more of Jaclyn's story, be sure to check out our earlier interviews with her.

You've got tools -- active listening, being curious and open -- so when your loved one expresses what they would like, or feels they can't continue as they are, you're ready. In those moments of "wishes and dips," you can gently move forward, listening to them and having resources ready, for now or whenever they're ready. It's a main tenet of CRAFT -- noticing the openings. It's also a practice -- something to stay with over time, so you have a chance to be received.

The rest of our interview with Jaclyn Brown, a podcast host and voice  for advocacy. In part 1, she discussed losing her brother to addiction.  In part 2, she discusses the aftermath, and what she does to create  space in her own life for her ongoing grief.