Connected Parenting

Negative consequences—while the term might sound harsh, the reality is that some kids truly thrive when they know they are surrounded by sturdy, solid, immovable limits.

There are certain children, especially strong-willed or "gladiator" kids as I call them, who push back against every boundary—insisting they don’t need rules, testing limits at every turn, and even retaliating when consequences are enforced.

However, despite their resistance, clear, consistent, and loving boundaries actually make them feel safer and more emotionally regulated.

If you’ve ever felt guilty about enforcing consequences or struggled to set limits that actually work, this episode is for you. Tune in and learn how to create a structured and supportive environment where your child can thrive.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• Setting the Stage for Negative Consequences (00:00)
• Understanding Anxiety in Kids (02:06)
• The Importance of Consistent Limits (04:32)
• Setting Effective Consequences (06:24)
• Practical Tips for Implementing Consequences (07:56)
• Connecting Before Correcting (14:48)
• Resources and Support for Parents (15:39)

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Parenting can be a beautiful journey, but it often brings challenges that strain relationships. From the demands of daily life to the push-and-pull dynamics of kids testing boundaries, the connection between parents can sometimes feel like it’s taking a back seat.

In this week's episode I explore how vital it is to protect and prioritize this bond, emphasizing that a strong relationship between parents doesn’t just benefit you—it’s a gift to your children.

Kids thrive when they see their parents working as a team, and how division or tension can create stress and confusion in the family dynamic.

Listen in to learn practical strategies to reconnect, communicate effectively, and maintain a sense of partnership even during the busiest times.

Whether it’s setting aside time to nurture your relationship, finding ways to support each other even in small ways, or understanding the role of teamwork in parenting, this episode is packed with insights to help you strengthen your parenting partnership and create a harmonious family environment for everyone involved.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• Importance of a United Parental Front (00:00)
• Challenges in Two-Parent Families (01:21)
• The Impact of Parental Relationship on Children (02:30)
• Recognizing and Responding to Bids for Attention (03:56)
• Changing the Lens and Spending Adult Time Alone (05:39)
• The Importance of Date Night (07:41)
• Using the Calm Technique and Avoiding Policing (09:09)

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Welcome to the first Connected Parenting episode of 2025!

After spending the holidays with my family, I’m excited to reconnect with all of you.

The holidays are often a mix of joy, warmth, and togetherness, but they can also bring tension, big feelings, and unresolved conflicts.

As Ram Dass so wisely put it, "If you think you're enlightened, go spend a week with your family."

In this episode, we explore how to navigate those lingering emotions and patterns that surface during family gatherings, especially as we enter a new year.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• Reflecting on Family Dynamics and Emotional Programs (00:00)
• Understanding Implicit Beliefs and Their Impact (01:29)
• The Role of Parents as Substitute Frontal Lobes (05:44)
• Practical Steps to Manage Implicit Beliefs (07:35)
• Inner Child Work and Self-Care (12:45)

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

The holidays are a magical time, but they can also be overstimulating and stressful for children, particularly for those with strong-willed or highly sensitive personalities.

 In today’s episode, we dive into the joys and challenges of the holiday season—especially when it comes to managing big emotions and behaviors in kids.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• Why gladiator kids often struggle during big family gatherings.
• Front-loading expectations for both children and adults.
• Manage gift exchanges, overstimulation, and sibling conflicts with calm and confidence.
• The importance of maintaining routines
• Set boundaries and limits without compromising the holiday spirit.
• The transformative power of the Calm Technique to connect with your kids

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Some parents shy away from using rewards or positive consequences, fearing it might feel like bribery or paying their kids to behave.

While overusing this method can backfire, when used thoughtfully, positive reinforcement can be a powerful way to encourage better behavior, build positive habits, and instill confidence in your child.

Join me as we dig deeper into this often overlooked tool.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• Positive Reinforcement in Parenting (00:00)
• Understanding the Pleasure-Pain Continuum (00:53)
• The Role of Dopamine in Rewards (06:39)
• Implementing Positive Consequences (08:29)
• Practical Tips for Positive Reinforcement (11:00)
• Balancing Rewards and Consequences (14:51)
• Addressing Individual Needs (15:03)
• The Importance of Consistency (15:19)
• Encouraging Pro-Social Behavior (15:32)

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In this episode of Connected Parenting, we explore why anger is often the default emotion for neuro-spicy gladiator kids. Whether they’re tired, scared, overwhelmed, or even hungry, these children often express their emotions as anger—a response that’s challenging for parents to handle.

Learn how to decode the feelings behind your child’s outbursts, connect with them in the heat of the moment, and implement 10 actionable strategies to help them recognize and process their emotions. By understanding the root causes of their anger and responding with patience and connection, you can turn difficult moments into opportunities for growth and stronger bonds.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• Understanding Anger in Neuro Spicy Kids (00:00)
• The Role of Emotions and Emotional Literacy (01:38)
• Parenting an Angry Child: Empathy and Neutrality (04:59)
• Strategies for Managing Anger: Before and After (06:31)
• Positive Consequences and Self-Care for Parents (06:49)
• The Importance of Seeing Beyond Behavior (07:14)
• The Role of the Frontal Lobe in Emotional Regulation (07:56)
• The Calm Technique and Its Benefits (08:11)
• Debriefing and Understanding Triggers (11:00)
• Positive Consequences and Reinforcement (13:33)

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In this week's episode of Connected Parenting, we are talking about a common parenting challenge: kids faking illnesses to avoid school or other commitments.

While many parents can recall pulling the same trick in their childhood, handling it as an adult brings up a whirlwind of emotions—guilt, frustration, doubt, and even anger.

How do you balance supporting your child while avoiding reinforcing negative behaviors?

If this is a question in your home, listen in to hear my thoughts on helping you manage these moments with empathy, clarity, and calm.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• Kids Faking Illnesses: Introduction and Common Scenario (00:00)
• Recognizing True Illness vs. Faking (02:26)
• Handling School Calls and Office Visits (04:08)
• Addressing Chronic Stomach Aches and Anxiety (05:58)
• Using Mental Health Days and Setting Boundaries (09:57)
• Conclusion and Additional Resources (12:05)

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Welcome to another episode of Connected Parenting! Today, we’re tackling a topic many parents struggle with—consequences.

From figuring out what’s fair, natural, and effective to dealing with those moments when your overreaction leaves you questioning how to backtrack.

In this episode, I’ll walk you through practical strategies to establish meaningful, loving, and predictable consequences that help children understand the impact of their actions while maintaining a strong connection with you.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• Understanding Consequences & Parenting Styles (3:04)
• The Role of Connection in Setting Consequences (7:52)
• Strategies for Setting Effective Consequences (8:27)
• Dealing with Different Parenting Styles & Co-Parenting (9:10)
• Addressing Natural and Positive Consequences (9:39)
• Balancing Connection & Consequences (9:57)
• Practical Tips for Setting Consequences (10:10)
• Addressing Specific Behaviors & Consequences (10:27)

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Today, we're diving into the power of play, especially for kids with big emotions that feel too large for their small bodies to handle. These big-feeling kids often experience surges of emotion that can lead to outbursts, clinginess, or even cycles of frustration and shame.

But with the right kind of play, we can help them release these overwhelming feelings and teach them how to self-regulate.

In this episode, I’ll share specific, playful strategies designed to calm and engage children who have these intense emotional needs. Through therapeutic play, we can offer them a safe way to discharge pent-up energy and reset their emotional state, creating moments of connection and calm that help them—and us—break out of negative cycles.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

Sensory Play for Kids with Big Feelings (00:00)

Understanding Kids' Emotional Surges (03:25)

Therapeutic and Sensory Play Ideas (04:29)

Additional Sensory and Grounding Techniques (08:28)

Outdoor and Low-Sensory Activities (10:56)

Teenagers and Adrenaline Play (14:34)

Resources and Final Thoughts (16:27)

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In this episode of Connected Parenting, we’re diving into a fundamental concept in effective parenting—self-regulation. Titled “Be That to See That,” this episode explores the critical role our own emotional regulation plays in helping our children manage their emotions and behaviors.

Parenting is a journey filled with joy, laughter, and priceless moments, but it’s also exhausting, anxiety-provoking, and often frustrating. To truly connect with our kids and help them co-regulate, we first need to master self-regulation ourselves.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

Understanding Self-Regulation in Parenting (00:00)

The Role of Parents as Substitute Frontal Lobes (04:43)

Consistency and Validation in Parenting (05:00)

Strategies for Parental Self-Regulation (08:59)

Alternative Yelling and Repairing Relationships (13:31)

Resources and Support for Parents (16:46)

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).