Connection Codes

Michelle and Kurt have been married since 1999 — and they're the first to tell you that "together a long time" isn't the same as "doing well." In this conversation, they share the moment Connection Codes stopped being a book on their shelf and started reorganizing their marriage. Michelle, a relationship coach herself, names something most of us have felt but never said out loud: that all the colorful language and long paragraphs were just a means to one simple end — to matter. This is a real-time look at what happens when a long-married couple stops trying to be understood and starts letting themselves be regarded.

In this episode:

• Why "more emotion words" can actually make you more dysregulated (and what to do instead)
• The "two junkyard dogs" season — and how Connection Codes opened a door out of it
• Why repeating back what your partner said keeps missing the point
• The dam break: why things often feel worse before they get better
• Trauma isn't the event — it's that no one regarded you afterward
• Befriending shame and guilt as "text messages from God"
• Michelle's metaphor: emotion as a corked bottle of rubbing alcohol

About Michelle & Kurt: Michelle and kurt live in Seattle and have been married since July 1999. Michelle is a relationship coach who now integrates the Connection Codes framework into her work with clients. They found Connection Codes through Zach Watson and went on to complete the coaching cohort.

Resources mentioned:

• The Core Emotion Wheel (free download) → connectioncodes.co/wheel
• Foundations Masterclass → connectioncodes.co/foundations
• Certified Coaches Directory → connectioncodes.co/coaches

Susan and Sean McGinnis drove two hours to a live Connection Codes event in Austin knowing almost nothing about the framework — just desperate to save a 30-year marriage that kept circling the same argument, every three or four months, for three decades. In this episode, they walk Glenn and Phyllis through what they now call "the 30-year fight": a cycle of hurt, still face, shutdown, and silence that neither of them could name — until they finally had the tools to. From Sean's breakthrough that his so-called temper was actually unprocessed hurt, to Susan crying in the hallway Friday night after hearing about identity for the very first time, this is a story about two people who almost didn't make it — and chose to go all in.

Key topics covered:

• How Susan and Sean discovered Connection Codes almost by accident after exhausting other approaches
• The mechanics of "the 30-year fight" — a cyclical argument that lasted days and weeks and always ended the same way
• Still face as a survival strategy, not just a research concept — and what it cost them both
• Secondary emotions: how Sean's hurt hid as anger for 30 years without either of them knowing it
• The identity teaching that broke Susan in the hallway on the very first night of the Austin seminar
• Their morning practice: 4 miles, two processing floors, and how they start every day emptied out
• A live Core Emotion Wheel exercise — both Susan and Sean walk through all 8 emotions about "the 30-year fight"

Guest Bio:Susan and Sean McGinnis are a Texas-based couple married 30 years, now certified Connection Codes coaches. Susan works with horses; Sean is semi-retired from a career in construction and trading. They went through the CC Foundations course and coaching cohort together and are passionate about giving other couples the hope they almost ran out of.

CTAs:

• Download the Core Emotion Wheel free → connectioncodes.co/wheel
• Work with a certified CC coach → connectioncodes.co/coaches
• Start with the Foundations Masterclass → connectioncodes.co/foundations

Bob and Jen Bevan are a married couple from Cleveland, Tennessee — 29 years in, two kids, three grandchildren, and owners of Witt's Frozen Custard. What they didn't expect was that the path to real connection would run straight through the Core Emotion Wheel. In this episode, Bob and Jen share what it was like to enter Connection Codes from very different starting points — Jen as a certified coach, Bob as a self-described "highly recovering codependent" — and what happened when they finally had language for what was breaking them apart. From Jen's raw confession that shame felt like a knife telling her she couldn't exist, to Bob's discovery that he hadn't been able to access "lonely" for decades, this episode is for every couple who wanted to love each other better but didn't know how.

Key topics covered:

• Why one partner going first in Connection Codes doesn't have to mean the other gets left behind
• What codependency does to your ability to feel your own emotions
• Shame as a barrier to coming out of hiding — especially in church culture
• The difference between drowning in emotion and processing it
• Bob's story of doing the Core Emotion Wheel with his son after a major fight — for the very first time
• Glenn's "relationships require depth, not time" reframe
• Jen's breakthrough: "To feel is to connect — with people, and with God"

Guest bio:Bob and Jen Bevan are based in Cleveland, Tennessee, where they run Witt's Frozen Custard and stay deeply embedded in church community. Bob brings 25 years of pastoral experience and a psychology degree; Jen is a Connection Codes certified coach. Together, they're proof that the tools work — even when you come in from two totally different directions.

Resources & CTAs:

• 🎡 Free Core Emotion Wheel → connectioncodes.co/wheel
• 🏅 Certified Coaching → connectioncodes.co/coaches
• 📚 Foundations Masterclass → connectioncodes.co/foundations

What happens when a man who was wired for achievement — not emotion — finally says out loud that he's afraid? For Mitchell Osmond, it took four years of marriage, a near-divorce, and a funeral to find out. In this episode, Tera sits down with Mitchell, host of the Dad Nation podcast and coach to high-performing men, for a conversation that goes deep into what it actually looks like when a man chooses emotional connection over self-protection. Mitchell shares his SORRY apology framework, the "story I'm telling myself" tool, and what happened when he stopped being a robot — and his wife noticed immediately.IN THIS EPISODE:→ Why men tell you what they did instead of how they feel — and how to break that pattern→ Mitchell's SORRY framework: a five-step apology that actually lands and can't easily be weaponized→ The "story I'm telling myself" tool for short-circuiting conflict before it spirals→ How shame — not just pride — can keep us from reconnecting after a rupture→ A live Core Emotion Wheel walk-through with Mitchell sharing real-time vulnerability on all 8 emotions→ Why Mitchell believes: when a dad gets better, the whole family winsABOUT MITCHELL OSMOND:Mitchell is the host of the Dad Nation podcast and founder of a coaching practice dedicated to helping high-performing men win at home like they do at work. After turning his own life around — from near-divorce, 60 pounds overweight, and $100K in debt to a fully restored marriage and family — he now helps the man he used to be. Find him at dadnationco.com or on Instagram.RESOURCES MENTIONED:→ Core Emotion Wheel (free download): connectioncodes.co/wheel → Certified coaching: connectioncodes.co/coaches→ Foundations Masterclass: connectioncodes.co/foundations→ Dad Nation Podcast & Coaching: dadnationco.com

What does it look like to lead hundreds of people every week — and have no idea you're quietly breaking down inside your own marriage?

Hiubert and Xiomara are Connection Codes certified coaches,former associate pastors, worship leaders, and evangelists who spent nearly twodecades in ministry. From the outside, everything looked like it was working.On the inside, they were burned out, emotionally disconnected, and — withoutknowing it — grieving separately in a marriage that had no language for whatthey were carrying.

In this episode, Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill sit down withHiubert and Xiomara to hear the whole story: how two miscarriages exposed agrief they'd never named together, how Hiubert moved from dismissing emotionsas weakness to going on what he calls a "repentance tour" witheveryone he'd ever led, and how the Core Emotion Wheel and Connection Codescourses gave them the tools to become not just a healthier couple — but moreconnected, trusted leaders.

Their story doesn't stop at their own front door. Within weeksof learning the Core Wheel, they were on a stage in Mexico City teaching it inSpanish. They've since brought Connection Codes to communities across the US,Mexico, Ethiopia, and beyond — because, as Hiubert says, good news is worthtelling.

This conversation is for the leader who is exhausted fromholding everyone else together. For the couple that talks about hard thingslike logistics. For the pastor who thinks emotions are a sign of weak faith.And for anyone who has ever said: I had no idea they were hurting too.

In This Episode

•  Why ministry burnout is an emotional health crisis thathides behind visible success

•  How Xiomara was in a decade-long depression she didn'thave words for — and where she finally found them

•  The moment they did the Core Wheel about theirmiscarriages for the first time — and what Hiubert had been carrying alone

•  Hiubert's "repentance tour" — goingback to every person he'd ever led and apologizing

•  How giving your congregation the Core Wheel might bethe most disarming leadership move you have

•  Why the Core Wheel reduces decision fatigue and burnoutfor leaders — not just couples

•  The biblical case for emotional expression: Job's 37chapters of being "oohed" by God

•  What happened when a pastor did the Core Wheel in frontof his entire congregation

•  The first Connection Coders in Bolivia — and what theywept when told their emotions were allowed

•  A live Core Wheel demonstration with Hiubert andXiomara at the end of the episode

SEO Keywords

ministry burnout, pastor mentalhealth, emotional health in marriage, marriage and leadership, couplesemotional healing, emotional intelligence leadership, church leadershipburnout, miscarriage and grief in marriage, men and emotional health, Core EmotionWheel, Connection Codes, faith and emotions, Hispanic mental health, Spanishemotional health resources, burnout recovery, emotional freedom, marriagecommunication tools

Resources

Get the Core Emotion Wheel → www.connectioncodes.co/podcast

Book a Connection Codes Coach → connectioncodes.co/coaches

Work with Hiubert & Xiomara (Spanish-speaking coachreferrals) → connectioncodes.co/coaches

Xiomara’s Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/hixio/

Hiubert’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hiubertzamora/

Late Night Course → connectioncodes.co/late-night

Foundations Course → connectioncodes.co/foundations

What if the thing keeping you stuck isn’t a lack of motivation — it’s that you’re too comfortable? This week, Tera sits downwith Dr. Daryl Appleton — award-winning executive coach, high-performance psychologist, and host of the Vogue Top 10 podcast Feelings & Other F Words — for a conversation that will challenge how you think about comfort, fear, success, and the emotional energy you spend before lunch. They unpack why“good enough” might be the most dangerous place to live, how to run an energy audit on your week, and what happens when you finally name the fear that’s been running the show. Plus, Dr. Daryl does the Core Emotion Wheel live — and what she discovers surprises even her.Topics Covered

• Why focusing on what’s RIGHT with you outperformsfixing what’s wrong
• The CliftonStrengths assessment and how couples can useit to divide roles and reduce resentment
• What “success” actually means — and why you need towrite it down across three dimensions of your life
• Comfort as a trap: why “good enough” keeps people stuckin marriages, careers, and life
• The Energy Audit: a weekly practice to manage emotionalbandwidth instead of just managing time
• Why it gets worse before it gets better — and whythat’s the sign it’s working
• Fear disguised as resistance: how unprocessed emotiondrains your capacity
• The Core Emotion Wheel in action: both Tera and Dr.Daryl process live on-air
•  Why naming your emotions gives you control back — andwhy skipping this step keeps you prickly and depleted

• SEO Keywordsemotional health, mental health, getting unstuck, marriage advice, self-awareness, energy management, fear of failure, leadership, high performance, couples communication, burnout, strengths-based coaching, emotional intelligence, core emotion wheel, relationship tools

Resources & Links

• Get the Core Emotion Wheel:www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Book a Connection Codes Coach:https://connectioncodes.co/coaches
• Dr. Daryl Appleton’s Website: www.drdarylappleton.com
• Dr. Daryl on Instagram: @drdarylappleton
• Feelings & Other F Words Podcast: Available onApple Podcasts, Spotify
• CliftonStrengths Assessment:www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths

What if the thing standing between you and better intimacy was something as simple as the mess of a massage oil?

In this episode, Dr Glenn and Phyllis sit down with Justin and Natalie — the couple behind Evree, a 100% natural intimate massage cream that functions as both a massage product and a lubricant without leaving the sticky, oily residue that stops most couples from even trying.

Justin and Natalie share the story behind six years of development, what it cost them emotionally and financially to keep going when experts told them it wasn't possible, and why they believe physical touch and intentional intimacy can quite literally transform a marriage.

They also walk through the Core Emotion Wheel — sharing raw, real moments from their own relationship and inner life. This is a conversation about more than a product. It's about removing the barriers that keep couples from choosing each other.

In This Episode:

• The date night that started it all — and why Natalie just wanted to go to sleep
• Why massage oils and lubricants have always been two separate products (and the problems each one causes)
• The 6-year journey to create a product everyone told them was impossible
• Why Justin almost gave up — and what happened when they took one more run at it
• How Evree functions as a massage cream, lubricant, moisturizer, and body butter in one
• 100% natural ingredients, edible, vaginally safe, and non-sticky — the full wish list they achieved
• What 15,000 couples are saying about how it's changed their marriage
• New products coming: Kiss Balm and a pH-balanced intimate wash
• Justin and Natalie each go through the Core Emotion Wheel — and it's unexpectedly personal

Resources Mentioned:

Evree Intimate Massage Cream — ⁠evreesensation.com⁠

Evree Discount Code — Use code: connectioncodes for 10% off your Evree order

Evree on Instagram — ⁠@evreesensation⁠

Get the Core Emotion Wheel — ⁠connectioncodes.co/podcast⁠

Book a Connection Codes Coach — ⁠connectioncodes.co/coaches

SEO Keywords:

marriage intimacy, couples connection, how to improve intimacy in marriage, natural lubricant for couples, massage oil for couples, emotional health in marriage, relationship health, how to reignite marriage, intimacy after kids, intentional marriage, couples date night ideas, touch and connection, marriage communication, emotional intelligence relationships, intimacy products for couples

What if everything you've been labeling as a problem — the addiction, the affair, the marriage that feels like a hostage situation, the career that's slowly killing you — is actually a prophet trying to get your attention?

Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill sit down with Jay Stringer, psychotherapist, ordained minister, and author of Desire, for one of the most searingly honest conversations about human longing, emotional health, and the hidden roadmap inside every one of us.

Jay spent years studying why people engage in unwanted behaviors — and what he found wasn't weakness or moral failure. He found desire. Vandalized, suppressed, and rerouted desire. And he found that healing the root — not just managing the symptom — changes everything.

In This Episode

• Why "just stop doing the thing" almost never works — and what to do instead
• The 5 core desires every human has (and why over-indexing on one destroys the others)
• The concept of the "provisional self" and why so many people wake up at 60 not knowing who they are
• What bells and albatrosses can teach you about the direction your life is asking you to go
• The DMZs in your marriage — and why avoiding them is quietly killing your connection
• How symptoms are actually prophets (and what they're trying to say)
• Jay walks through the Core Emotion Wheel live — with stunning vulnerability about loneliness, sadness, and a midlife chrysalis

About Jay Stringer

Jay Stringer is a licensed psychotherapist, ordained minister, and author based in New York City. His first book, Unwanted, explored the hidden drivers of unwanted sexual behavior. His new book, Desire, offers a research-backed roadmap for developing a healthy relationship to desire across all five domains of human flourishing — wholeness, growth, intimacy, pleasure, and meaning. He holds a master's in counseling psychology and an MDiv from The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology.

SEO Keywords

desire and healing, emotional health podcast, marriage communication, understanding your desires, unwanted sexual behavior, porn addiction recovery, identity and self-worth, self-sabotage meaning, mental health and marriage, relationship emotional intelligence, faith and therapy, midlife identity crisis, Core Emotion Wheel, connection codes podcast, Jay Stringer Desire book

Resources & Links

Get the Core Emotion Wheel — Free Resource

Book a Connection Codes Coach

Jay Stringer's book: Desire

Jay's first book: Unwanted

Jay Stringer’s Website: jay-stringer.com

Follow Jay on Instagram: @jay_stringer_

Take Jay’s Desire Profile Quiz (from the book)

Jay’s Contact Page (Linktree)

What does it look like when someone who only knew two emotions — anger and joy — finally faces the full spectrum of what they feel?

That's the story Han and Alicia Lau bring to the table this week. Married 31 years, parents to six kids, grandparents to six more — and coaches who almost skipped the Core Emotion Wheel entirely.

Alicia grew up in a world that told her to stifle her emotions, be a "good Christian girl," and never be "too much." The result? A life where anger and joy were the only acceptable exits — until a poolside audiobook moment changed everything.

In this episode, Glenn, Phyllis, Han, and Alicia unpack what it actually takes to go from emotional resistance to emotional fluency — including the 45-minute wheel session that helped Alicia finally process her father's suicide, more than a decade after his death.

In This Episode:

• Why Alicia threw the Core Emotion Wheel across the room (metaphorically) — and why she came back to it
• How blended family dynamics (and two very different cultures) shaped emotional patterns for both Han and Alicia
• The moment on their 30th anniversary that changed their marriage — doing the entire Foundations course in one weekend
• Han's breakthrough: how advising a client led him to take his own advice about shame and guilt
• Alicia's 45-minute grief wheel — and why she no longer feels her dad's death the same way in her body
• What it means to practice the wheel "like bad first sex" and why that's the most honest description of growth we've heard
• Glenn and Phyllis share their own middle-of-the-night wheel moments — and what lonely really feels like when you go deep

Resources Mentioned:

Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast

Work with a Connection Codes Coach: connectioncodes.co/coaches

Foundations Masterclass: connectioncodes.co/foundations

SEO Keywords:

emotional intelligence in marriage, blended family communication, how to process grief, Core Emotion Wheel, emotional avoidance, marriage coaching, emotional health tools, processing shame and guilt, trauma healing tools, long-term marriage, mental health and relationships, connection codes, emotional fluency, suicide loss grief

What does it actually look like when one spouse starts doing the emotional work before the other is ready? Ben and Hannah have been married 19 years, raised four kids (including three teenagers), and spent nearly a decade unknowingly drifting apart — until one ordinary walk changed everything.

In this episode, Glenn and Phyllis sit down with Ben and Hannah for an honest, unscripted conversation about what it really takes to turn a marriage around. Ben resisted Connection Codes for over a year — and then one moment of Hannah staying present when she could have pulled away shifted everything for him. They talk about the emotional dam, why anger is usually lonely in disguise, how they're raising a 10-year-old with OCD using the Core Emotion Wheel, and what happens when coding becomes the language of your whole household.

This one is for the spouse who started the work alone. For the partner who's been resistant. For the parent trying to get emotional tools into a home with teenagers. You're going to want to hear this.

In This Episode:

• Why the first 10 years of marriage can mask deep emotional disconnection
• What it looks like when one spouse starts coding before the other is ready
• The walk that changed Ben's mind — and why Hannah's staying present made all the difference
• How anger almost always has lonely underneath it
• The emotional dam: why it forms in hours, not years
• Using the Core Emotion Wheel with a child who has OCD and self-harm patterns
• Why teenagers resist coding — and the long game that actually works
• What men lose when culture tells them vulnerability is weakness
• Glenn's challenge: say the emotion out loud in the moment, even when no one's there to hear it

Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast

Book a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

Keywords: emotional intelligence in marriage | marriage communication tools | how to reconnect with your spouse | men emotional vulnerability | emotional health relationships | OCD and emotional tools for kids | marriage disconnection | Core Emotion Wheel | how to stop emotional shutdown | marriage transformation stories | emotional dam | ooh technique | Connection Codes podcast