Connection Codes

What do you do when the person you built your life around is suddenly gone?

In this deeply moving episode, Glenn and Phyllis sit down with Eric — husband, father of 10, and Connection Codes community member — to talk about what happens when grief, identity loss, and emotional isolation collide. Eric's wife Nicole passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack just after the New Year, leaving him a single father navigating the unimaginable.

But this isn't just a story about loss. It's a story about what tools, community, and the courage to be emotionally vulnerable can do — even in the darkest seasons.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• Why grief cannot heal in isolation — and what it actually needs to move through
• How Eric tracked his emotional connection with his wife through selfies (the data will surprise you)
• What losing a spouse does to your sense of identity — and why that part often goes unspoken
• The difference between grief that gets witnessed and grief that stays buried
• How men are conditioned to suppress emotion — and what it costs them and their kids
• What Eric's kids said to him that changed how he showed up as a dad
• Why Eric drove to Tennessee to be with a community of people he'd never met in person

Resources mentioned:

• Get your free Core Emotion Wheel → www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Work with a Connection Codes certified coach → connectioncodes.co/coaches
• Learn more about the School of Connection → connectioncodes.co

Keywords: grief and emotional health, healing from loss, marriage and identity, emotional intelligence tools, how to grieve in community, men and vulnerability, mental health after loss, relationship emotional wellness, grief and parenting, connection and healing, emotional resilience, marriage and loss

What if the biggest relationship challenge in your home isn't a communication problem — it's an ADHD brain that nobody ever explained to you?

In this eye-opening episode, Tera sits down with ADHD expert, educator, and coach Martha Hoffman (host of ADHD in the Real World podcast) to unpack what ADHD actually looks like in real families, real marriages, and real emotional lives — and why compassion might be the most powerful tool you have.

Whether you're a parent who suspects your child might have ADHD, a partner frustrated by what feels like chaos, or someone who scrolled through a "signs of ADHD" reel and thought "wait... that's me" — this conversation will change how you see the people you love most.

In This Episode You'll Learn:

• The 3 types of ADHD and why it looks completely different in women vs. men
• Why emotional dysregulation is now considered CORE to ADHD — not just a side effect
• The dopamine deficit connection — and why your ADHD brain might be wired for addiction
• How to build a "Dopamine Menu" to replace cheap hits with lasting satisfaction
• What Fair Play facilitation does for ADHD couples — and why the trash is never just "taking out the trash"
• How Tera uses the Core Emotion Wheel with her ADHD kids — and what shifted for her family
• Martha's own Core Emotion Wheel — vulnerability in real time
• How to respond when a partner or parent refuses to believe the ADHD diagnosis is real

Resources Mentioned:

• Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast

• Book a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

• Martha Hoffman Coaching on Instagram: @MarthaHoffmanCoaching

• Martha's website: MarthaHoffmanCoaching.com

• Martha's podcast: ADHD in the Real World

Keywords/Tags:

ADHD and marriage, emotional dysregulation ADHD, neurodivergent relationships, ADHD parenting, ADHD in women, ADHD emotional health, dopamine deficit, ADHD diagnosis adults, mental health and marriage, Core Emotion Wheel, connection codes podcast, ADHD coaching, ADHD fair play, neurodivergent family, ADHD relationships, emotional regulation

What if the reason you can't sleep, can't focus, and come home completely depleted has nothing to do with your schedule — and everything to do with what you're doing to your emotions?

In this episode, Dr. Glenn Hill, Phyllis Hill, and Tera Wages go deep on one of the most important — and most overlooked — tools in the Connection Codes toolkit: oohing yourself. Not your partner. Not your kids. Yourself.

We've all been taught some version of "don't be emotional," "choose joy," "power through." But what that messaging actually does is train us to reject ourselves at the deepest level. And the cost? It shows up in your body, your sleep, your productivity, your relationships, and your health.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why suppressing emotions doesn't make them disappear — it sends them straight into your cells (and the science behind what that does to your body)
• The 3 powerful questions that help you tune into yourself in under 60 seconds
• How a woman's 12-year battle with insomnia ended after one night of doing the Core Emotion Wheel
• Why "positive thinking" culture may actually be working against your emotional health
• The real reason you have nothing left for your spouse and kids at the end of the day
• How to process fear, shame, and hurt in 10–15 seconds (without a therapy session)
• What Tera discovered about herself, her kids, and the mistakes she made before she had these tools

This episode is for you if:You've tried the productivity hacks, the sleep supplements, the mindset work — but something still feels stuck. Or if you teach communication tools to others and still forget to use them on yourself (yes, Tera goes there).

Resources mentioned:

• 🌀 Download the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• 🤝 Book a certified Connection Codes Coach: connectioncodes.co/coaches
• 📚 Start with Foundations: connectioncodes.co/foundations

Keywords: emotional health, marriage advice, mental health awareness, emotional intelligence, relationship communication, burnout recovery, emotional regulation, self-awareness, anxiety relief, insomnia and emotions, leadership emotional health, marriage therapy tools, how to process emotions, core emotion wheel

The Power of Active Listening: How Oooo Transforms Conflict Into Connection.

What if the secret to emotional regulation in your marriage wasn't another therapy session, but a simple audible response that releases oxytocin in your brain?

In Part 2 of our active listening series, Dr. Glenn Hill and Phyllis Hill dive deep into what stops us from connecting during conflict – and the surprising brain science behind why "oohing" your partner actually works.

• The oxytocin effect: How active listening naturally releases connection chemicals in the brain (no pills required)
• When you feel attacked: How to use curiosity instead of defensiveness when your partner comes at you with accusations
• The "never/always" trap: Why correcting your partner's exaggerations kills connection (and what to do instead)
• Processing emotion first: Why you must acknowledge feelings before discussing logistics
• The right of refusal: How to know the difference between everyday conflict and abuse
• Issue-specific wheels: When to pull out the Core Emotion Wheel during heated moments
• Saying "ow" in the moment: Why you need to acknowledge your own hurt while still being present for your partner

Glenn and Phyllis share vulnerable stories about their own disconnection – from the dishwasher incident to cruise conflicts – demonstrating how Connection Codes tools work in real marriage dynamics.

This episode is essential for anyone who:

• Gets defensive when their partner expresses hurt
• Feels like they're being attacked even in simple conversations
• Wants to understand the neuroscience of emotional connection
• Struggles to stay curious when emotions run high
• Needs practical tools for de-escalating conflict quickly

Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast

Book a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

Join the School of Connection waitlist: Limited cohorts opening May 2026

Shop Connection Codes Merch: Magnets, stickers, and wheels for every room

Keywords: emotional regulation, marriage communication, active listening, relationship conflict resolution, oxytocin and connection, defensiveness in marriage, emotional health tools, curiosity in relationships, connection codes, core emotion wheel, marriage therapy alternatives, healthy communication skills, conflict de-escalation, mental health in relationships, relationship coaching

Description:

What if the biggest barrier to emotional connection in your marriage isn't what you're saying—but the silence in between?

In this episode, Dr. Glenn Hill reveals the neuroscience behind "audible listening" and why silence literally disconnects us at a physiological level. Drawing from groundbreaking research like Dr. Tronick's Still Face Experiment, Glenn explains how our brains are wired to need audible responses—and what happens when we don't get them.

You'll discover:

• Why traditional "silent listening" taught in marriage therapy actually creates disconnection
• The science behind the "ooh" and how it releases oxytocin in both the speaker and listener
• How babies and adults respond identically to silence (it's 100% universal)
• Why you feel drawn to certain people in a crowded room (hint: they're audibly listening)
• How to overcome the awkwardness of starting to "ooh" with your spouse
• Real stories of how audible listening transformed an 11-day cruise through a literal cyclone
• Why this one simple tool is more powerful than learning every personality profile

The ooh isn't just a sound—it's a biological need. When someone "oohs" you, your nervous system calms, your fear decreases, and oxytocin floods your body. This is the connection we're all desperately craving.

Glenn and Phyllis share vulnerable moments from their own marriage, including why this last cruise was their most connected yet—and how they stayed present through rough seas (literally and metaphorically).

If you've ever felt unheard, unseen, or disconnected in your closest relationships, this episode will give you a tool you can implement today. No advanced degree required. No complex personality assessments. Just presence, sound, and connection.

Keywords: audible listening, emotional connection, marriage communication, relationship tools, oxytocin, nervous system regulation, emotional intelligence, still face experiment, active listening, marriage therapy, emotional wellness, connection codes, Dr. Glenn Hill, vulnerability in marriage, mental health tools, anxiety relief, stress management, emotional validation

Resources mentioned:

• Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Book a Connection Codes coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches
• Join the Connection Codes Cruise (July 2025): Reach out for details
• Read more about the Still Face Experiment (Dr. Edward Tronick)

Subscribe to never miss an episode where we make emotional connection simple, practical, and life-changing.

Share this episode with five friends who need to know they're not crazy for feeling disconnected when met with silence.

What if your anxiety, anger, or depression isn't a mental health issue—but a gut health issue?

In this eye-opening conversation, Dr. Glenn and Phyllis sit down with Allison Jordan, a Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner and founder of Better Bellies Therapies, who reveals how hidden infections, digestive dysfunction, and mineral imbalances can hijack your emotions and leave you feeling broken.

Allison shares her groundbreaking "Five Toxin Trap" framework that has helped hundreds of clients come off anxiety medications, eliminate chronic pain, and finally understand why traditional medicine keeps missing the root causes of their symptoms.

You'll discover:

• Why C. diff infections can cause chronic anxiety by blocking dopamine conversion
• How H. pylori in your stomach prevents you from absorbing the nutrients needed for neurotransmitters
• The shocking connection between copper toxicity and 50% of divorces
• Why your "stress" diagnosis might actually be parasites, food sensitivities, or poor detoxification
• How one client's sugar cravings disappeared in 3 days after removing hidden food sensitivities
• The at-home baking soda test to check your stomach acid levels
• Why hormone imbalances aren't the root cause—and what is

This episode is for you if:

• You've been told "it's just stress" or "it's all in your head"
• You're struggling with anxiety, depression, or anger that won't budge despite therapy or medication
• You have chronic health issues like IBS, acid reflux, insomnia, or unexplained pain
• You've tried "everything" but still don't feel like yourself
• You're tired of being told you lack willpower when it comes to food cravings or emotional regulation

Allison's approach is different from conventional medicine—she uses specialized testing that hospitals don't run to find infections like chronic low-grade C. diff, H. pylori, parasites, mineral imbalances, food sensitivities, and liver congestion that are driving your symptoms.

The best part? Many of these issues are completely reversible when you address the actual root cause instead of just managing symptoms.

Keywords: anxiety root causes, gut health and mental health, emotional health solutions, functional medicine for anxiety, gut-brain connection, hidden infections causing anxiety, food sensitivities and mood, copper toxicity symptoms, H. pylori emotional symptoms, natural anxiety treatment, digestive health and emotions, chronic fatigue root causes, IBS solutions, emotional regulation strategies, holistic mental health

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Allison Jordan's Resources:

• Better Bellies Therapies Website: betterbellytherapies.com/constipation (Free baking soda test recipe)
• Free Training on the 5 Toxin Trap: betterbellytherapies.com/training
• The Better Belly Podcast: Episode 159 (Copper Toxicity) & Episode 267 (Best Food Sensitivity Test)

Connection Codes Resources:

• Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Book a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches
• Explore Connection Codes Programs: www.connectioncodes.co

ABOUT ALLISON JORDAN:

Allison Jordan is a Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner who has been helping clients heal chronic gut and health issues since 2018. After experiencing her own health crisis—including losing her period for two years, chronic pain, insomnia, IBS, and anxiety—she discovered the root causes conventional medicine missed and now teaches others how to do the same. Allison hosts the Better Belly Podcast and has helped hundreds of clients reverse conditions like chronic constipation, anxiety, autoimmune diseases, and unexplained symptoms through her signature "Five Toxin Trap" framework.

CONNECT WITH ALLISON:

• Website: betterbellytherapies.com
• Podcast: The Better Belly Podcast
• Instagram: @betterbellytherapies

CONNECT WITH CONNECTION CODES:

• Website: www.connectioncodes.co
• Instagram: @connectioncodes
• School of Connection: www.connectioncodes.co/school

What happens when you lose your identity in a new country, face 65 consecutive rejections, and your creative voice gets buried under the weight of just surviving? Lara Pilcher, actress, author, and ICF-certified coach, shares her raw journey from Melbourne to America—and how creativity became her lifeline when everything else fell apart.

In this deeply vulnerable conversation, Lara reveals:

• Why creativity isn't just for artists—it's a life force everyone needs to survive
• How she rewrote her entire book after getting dropped by her literary agent
• The difference between grief and depression (and why most creatives are actually grieving)
• Why we shut down creativity during pain—and how to awaken it again
• The "mansion with many rooms" approach to finding your creative voice
• How rejection taught her resilience and audacity in a saturated world

This episode is for you if:

• You've lost touch with your creative self and don't know how to find it again
• You're processing grief, loss, or major life transitions
• You feel stuck in the "acquisitions track" and disconnected from who you really are
• You need permission to be a beginner again—to skip, dance, paint, or create badly
• You're afraid of judgment and need to "embrace the cringe"

Glenn and Phyllis explore how creativity connects directly to identity, emotional health, and relationship wellness. This isn't about becoming an artist—it's about reconnecting with the part of you that says "there I am."

About Lara Pilcher: Lara Pilcher is an actress, author, and ICF PCC-certified coach who has performed on London's West End and now helps creative souls reclaim their voice. Her debut book Audacious Artistry: Reclaim Your Creative Identity and Thrive in a Saturated World releases through a London publisher after a journey of resilience that included 65+ rejections and completely rewriting her manuscript.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Brené Brown's research on creativity as life force
• Dr. Echo Hill on grief vs. depression
• Will Palomo on creativity as "connecting the seemingly unconnected"
• Diane Collards' I Choose to Forgive

Resources:

• Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Book a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches
• Find Lara's book Audacious Artistry at Barnes & Noble, Waterstones (UK), Blackstone's (Australia), and all major booksellers
• Learn more: www.larabiancapilcher.com

Keywords: mental health, emotional wellness, creativity and identity, overcoming rejection, marriage communication, grief vs depression, emotional regulation, relationship coaching, creative identity crisis, finding yourself again, emotional health tools, leadership development, creative resilience

What if the harshest critic in your life isn't someone else—it's you?

We judge ourselves constantly. Our fears, our bodies, our parenting, the way we show up in relationships. And while we think judgment is motivating us to change, it's actually keeping us trapped in cycles of shame, anger, and disconnection.

In this episode, Dr. Glenn Hill, Phyllis Hill, and Tera Wages unpack the destructive patterns of self-judgment and reveal the powerful alternative that transforms everything: curiosity.

You'll discover:

• Why toddlers don't judge themselves and what we can learn from their natural self-acceptance
• The shame-anger cocktail that fuels judgment and keeps you stuck
• How 10 seconds of curiosity can completely change any interaction or internal struggle
• Why keeping your struggles secret feeds shame and makes judgment grow
• The question that stops judgment cold and opens the door to compassion
• How to recognize your personal trigger topics so you can respond differently next time
• Why social media has created a judgment epidemic and how to protect yourself
• Real-life examples of shifting from judgment to curiosity in marriage, parenting, and everyday moments
• What to do when someone shuts down (the "still face" phenomenon) and you feel flooded with shame

Whether you're battling negative self-talk, living in fear of others' opinions, or finding yourself quick to criticize people around you, this conversation will give you practical tools to break the judgment cycle and step into genuine emotional freedom.

What you'll walk away with:The understanding that judgment isn't helping you grow—it's keeping you isolated. But when you get curious about yourself and others, everything shifts. Compassion replaces criticism. Connection replaces division. And you finally get the space to be your authentic, vulnerable self.

Keywords: self-judgment, mental health, emotional regulation, marriage counseling, shame and anger, curiosity vs judgment, self-compassion, relationship communication, emotional intelligence, breaking negative patterns, therapy tools, mental wellness, emotional freedom, self-criticism, Nashville therapist

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to stay in painful patterns—even when you know they're hurting you? In this powerful episode, we explore why pain becomes a "home base" for so many people, how depression and emotional suffering can feel safer than joy, and what it actually takes to break free.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why homeostasis keeps us returning to painful patterns (even when we desperately want change)
• The psychological phenomenon of anhedonia—the inability to experience joy—and how to recognize it in your own life
• How pain can become a badge of honor and part of your identity
• The three essential ingredients for lasting transformation: pattern disruption, new environment, and time
• Why all eight core emotions (including pain AND joy) are designed to protect and guide you
• Real stories of radical pattern breaking—from career changes to selling everything and starting over
• How to recognize when you're living in emotional survival mode versus thriving

Key insights from this episode:

Glenn shares his experience of living with depression as his baseline for decades, where his daily goal was to "claw my way up to zero." Phyllis reveals the moment she knew their marriage pattern had to break—when she told Glenn to quit his construction job and go back to school, even though she'd never supported the family before.

Tera opens up about her own relationship with pain, realizing she wore it as a badge of honor—even laughing through physical pain because she wanted to be seen as strong, not weak.

The message of pain is simple: there's a problem. But too many of us have become numb to it, accepting suffering as "just the way it is." This episode will help you identify where pain has become your comfort zone and give you the courage to disrupt the pattern.

Keywords: emotional health, mental health, depression recovery, marriage transformation, breaking patterns, emotional regulation, identity crisis, joy and pain balance, relationship coaching, emotional processing, therapy tools, mental wellness, overcoming depression, emotional awareness, self-discovery

Resources mentioned:

• Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Book a coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches
• School of Connection (starts Jan 20): www.connectioncodes.co/school

What if the "temper tantrums" in your life—whether from your kids, your partner, or even yourself—aren't misbehavior at all, but a desperate cry to be heard?

In this episode, Dr. Glenn Hill and Tera Wages unpack a powerful truth: our emotions are pitching a temper tantrum when they're not being acknowledged. From the three-year-old crying over a scraped knee to the adult who shuts down completely, we explore what happens when our emotional energy is resisted instead of received.

In This Episode:

• Why saying "you're okay" to a crying child creates two problems instead of solving one
• How emotional resistance shows up differently in adults (yelling, shutting down, or exploding)
• The powerful three-phrase framework that stops tantrums in their tracks
• Real stories of transformation when couples learn to follow each other's energy
• Why our culture teaches us that suppressing emotions is mature (and why it's actually destroying us)

Whether you're parenting young children, navigating marriage conflict, or trying to understand your own emotional patterns, this episode will help you recognize when energy is being resisted—and how to create connection instead.

Key Concepts:

• Emotional regulation and emotional health
• The "ooh" response and following energy
• Temper tantrums in children and adults
• Marriage communication and conflict resolution
• Parenting with emotional intelligence
• Mental health and self-awareness
• Leadership through emotional presence

Resources Mentioned:

• Connection Codes Three-Phrase Magnet (available on our website)
• The Core Emotion Wheel
• Foundations Course

Ready to stop resisting and start connecting? This episode will change how you see every "temper tantrum" in your life.

Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
Book a Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches