Do you ever lay in bed exhausted, but your mind won’t turn off? This episode breaks down why it’s not your to-do list that’s draining you—it’s unprocessed emotion. Hosts Tera, Phyllis, and Dr. Glenn explore the physiological and psychological toll of unacknowledged fear, anxiety, and emotional overload in today’s high-stress world. From Sunday scaries and doom-scrolling to navigating news-induced stress and personal loss, they reveal how naming your feelings and using the Core Emotion Wheel can bring your nervous system back into balance. With neuroscience, vulnerability, and practical insight, this conversation offers a roadmap to emotional regulation, deeper connection, and truly restorative rest.

Links and Resources:

• Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠https://connectioncodes.co/get-the-cew⁠
• Find out how to become a Certified Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠
• Find a coach: ⁠https://connectioncodes.co/all-coaches

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 – A Sleepless Mind & The Chaos Within
• 00:01:04 – Welcome to the Place Where Emotions Finally Make Sense
• 00:01:44 – Fear Isn’t the Problem—It’s the Key
• 00:03:02 – What Science Says About What You're Feeling
• 00:04:28 – Can Fear Really Wreck Your Sleep? Yes—Here’s How
• 00:07:21 – Cortisol: The Tiny Hormone Running Your Life
• 00:12:26 – Are You Being Emotionally Hijacked by Your Phone?
• 00:16:38 – What Happens When You Choose Peace Over Noise
• 00:21:31 – Human Connection: Your Brain’s Favorite Medicine
• 00:31:51 – When Caring Becomes Crushing: Walking the Advocacy Tightrope
• 00:38:55 – Speak the Fear, Set Yourself Free
• 00:39:25 – Safe People: Your Emotional Safety Net
• 00:39:56 – Is That Fear Even Real? Let’s Talk About It
• 00:40:57 – This Simple Tool Could Change the Way You Communicate Forever
• 00:42:50 – Real Fear, Real Stories, Real Healing
• 00:44:19 – The 8 Words That Can Set You Emotionally Free
• 00:50:38 – Don’t Dismiss Their Feelings—Here’s Why It Matters
• 00:52:56 – The Wheel Isn’t Just a Tool—It’s a Game-Changer
• 01:00:37 – You’re Not Alone—And You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck

In this week’s episode, Tera, Dr. Glenn, and Phyllis dive deep into the power of hurt—specifically, how we respond when our partner is hurt by something we’ve done. If you’ve ever deflected, avoided a tough conversation, or struggled with shame and guilt in your relationship, this episode is for you. Learn practical tools to process hurt, communicate with compassion, and move forward with authentic connection.

Download the Core Emotion Wheel:

https://connectioncodes.co/get-the-cew

Find out how to become a Certified Coach:

https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching

Find a coach:

https://connectioncodes.co/all-coaches

What if the story you’ve been telling yourself… isn’t even yours? In this deeply validating and insight-rich episode of the Connection Codes podcast, Tera Wages joins Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill to explore how childhood messages, cultural labels, and relationship dynamics shape—and often limit—our identity. Through personal stories, including leaving church, navigating marriage intimacy, and feeling misunderstood by family, the hosts unpack what it means to "wear a hat" that no longer fits.

Listeners will be challenged to ask: Who put this label on me? Why am I still wearing it? With raw emotional depth and practical wisdom, the episode empowers you to identify the inner “judge,” rewire internal narratives, and intentionally reclaim who you want to become.

Links and Resources:

• Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min?month=2025-03 ⁠⁠⁠
• Connection Codes: ⁠https://connectioncodes.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

(If links are not working, please copy and paste connectioncodes.co to your search bar and look through our site menu!)⁠⁠

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Chapters:

• 00:00:00 – Identity Isn’t Just a Concept—It’s Personal
• 00:02:26 – When You Realize You’ve Been Wearing the Wrong Hat
• 00:05:53 – Do I Even Matter… to Me?
• 00:09:23 – The Labels We Live By (And How to Let Them Go)
• 00:13:26 – How External Voices Shape Internal Battles
• 00:25:56 – Old Messages, New Awareness: What Are You Still Carrying?
• 00:27:19 – Step Into the Judge’s Chamber—You Might Be Surprised Who’s Inside
• 00:28:14 – The Dishwasher Story: It Was Never About the Dishes
• 00:29:28 – Tearing Off the Labels That Keep Us Small
• 00:32:46 – Speak Life: The Words That Shape Who You Become
• 00:42:00 – Feel It to Heal It: A Real Look at the Core Emotion Wheel

Tera, Dr. Glenn, and Phyllis explore one of the most foundational elements of human connection: identity. What does it mean to give identity—or to take it away? Through tender personal stories and real-life encounters, they unpack how kindness, often seen as a simple virtue, carries the power to either affirm or strip away someone’s sense of significance. Phyllis introduces the concept of the "identity meter"—a powerful internal gauge that shifts based on whether we're seen, valued, and understood. From social media judgments to a heartfelt moment with a grieving artist, the episode beautifully illustrates how much we long to matter—and how our everyday interactions either feed or deplete that longing. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Do I matter to them?”, this conversation will resonate deeply.

Links and Resources:

• Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min?month=2025-03 ⁠⁠
• Connection Codes: https://connectioncodes.co/⁠⁠

(If links are not working, please copy and paste connectioncodes.co to your search bar and look through our site menu!)⁠⁠

________________________________________________________________

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - What If Identity Could Heal the World?
• 00:01:22 - Is Kindness Actually the Key?
• 00:02:21 - Social Media: Boosting or Breaking Your Identity Meter?
• 00:03:24 - She Left Him… and He Finally Knows Why
• 00:04:37 - The Hidden Definition of Identity in Love
• 00:07:10 - Tiny Acts, Massive Emotional Impact
• 00:08:48 - The Domino Effect of a Single Kind Word
• 00:16:36 - When Faith and Identity Collide
• 00:27:25 - One Greeting. One Shift. One Human Seen.
• 00:28:15 - The Power of Being Noticed—Really Noticed
• 00:29:34 - “Do You Even Know Me Anymore?”
• 00:30:31 - Rebuilding Intimacy, One Small Gesture at a Time
• 00:31:41 - What Happens When We Truly See Someone
• 00:33:05 - Unspoken Needs That Quietly Destroy Connection
• 00:34:58 - From Global Conflict to Family Feuds: It’s All Identity
• 00:36:30 - When Human Connection Becomes a Superpower
• 00:43:48 - The Cost of Feeling Invisible
• 00:43:57 - One Tool to Help You Understand What’s Firing Inside
• 00:50:00 - You’re Not Broken—You Just Need to Be Seen
• 00:53:25 - Your Challenge: Give Identity Today

Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill unpack a recent “miss” in their relationship—one that reflects a broader season of emotional exhaustion, grief, and life transition. From losing Glenn’s mother to living a nomadic life out of a suitcase, the Hills open up about the cumulative weariness they’ve been carrying. Phyllis courageously names the fear of “forever missing each other” and the exhaustion that sometimes keeps her from even wanting to analyze the disconnection. This episode is not about offering quick fixes—it’s a raw, heartfelt look at what it means to live through heavy seasons and still choose connection. Whether you’re in burnout, walking through grief, or feeling stuck in cycles of disconnection, this episode will remind you: you’re not alone, and there’s hope in the wide lens.

Links and Resources:

• Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min?month=2025-03 ⁠
• To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/wheel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 
• To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/marriage-course-online⁠
• Book a coaching session with Dr. Glenn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/marriage-help⁠

(If links are not working, please copy and paste connectioncodes.co to your search bar and look through our site menu!)⁠⁠

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Chapters:

• 00:00:00 – We’re Not Okay (and That’s Okay)
• 00:01:20 – When Life Just Keeps Coming at You
• 00:04:16 – Tiny Misses, Big Emotional Impact
• 00:06:39 – I Felt It, But I Didn’t Know Why
• 00:13:17 – The Moment We Completely Missed Each Other
• 00:26:16 – From Laughing… to “What Just Happened?”
• 00:26:43 – Unpacking the Emotional Whiplash
• 00:27:18 – Are You Seeing Me As the Enemy?
• 00:28:21 – You Thought I Was Mad… I Wasn’t
• 00:30:21 – Slowing Down Before the Disconnect
• 00:33:06 – Reconnection Starts with Brave Vulnerability
• 00:36:08 – How the Emotion Wheel Saved the Moment
• 00:43:48 - Encouragement for Listeners

So many of us live as stunt doubles, showing up in spaces—church, work, even our own homes—feeling like we have to perform instead of just be. In this episode, Dr. Glenn and Phyllis unpack the weight of that, the exhaustion it brings, and how Connection Codes gives us the tools to step out of the act and into real, life-giving connection. They share stories from their recent event in Austin, the impact of this work around the world, and the freedom that comes when we stop masking and start living fully as ourselves.

Links and Resources:

• Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min?month=2025-03 
• To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/wheel⁠⁠⁠⁠ 
• To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/marriage-course-online
• Book a coaching session with Dr. Glenn: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/marriage-help

(If links are not working, please copy and paste connectioncodes.co to your search bar and look through our site menu!)⁠⁠

________________________________________________________________

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - Welcome! Are You Living a Stunt Double Life?
• 00:01:29 - Behind the Scenes: What We Learned in Austin
• 00:03:04 - Real Stories, Real Change: Connection Codes in Action
• 00:07:37 - Why Hiding Hurts & How to Show Up Fully
• 00:12:34 - Stunt Doubling at Work, Church & Home—Are You Doing It?
• 00:25:01 - Feeling Drained? The Link Between Emotions & Productivity
• 00:28:30 - Burnout is Real—Here’s How to Spot It & Stop It
• 00:30:22 - Loneliness Creeping In? How to Find Genuine Support
• 00:32:10 - What’s in Your Emotional Backpack? Time to Unpack It!
• 00:33:38 - Want Deeper Connection? Here’s How to Create Safe Spaces
• 00:40:02 - The Core Emotion Wheel: Your Secret to Stronger Relationships
• 00:48:03 - Final Thoughts: Ditch the Act & Start Living Fully

Marriage is full of seasons—some where you’re both thriving, some where you’re both struggling, and the hardest ones, where one of you is drowning while the other is doing just fine. In this episode, Tera, Echo, and Phyllis get real about what it looks like to stay connected when your partner is in a tough place, how codependency sneaks in without us realizing it, and why we were never meant to carry everything for each other. They unpack the guilt, the resentment, and the loneliness that can show up in these seasons, and share the tools that helped them stop fixing, start seeing, and actually enjoy their marriage again.

Links and Resources:

• Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 
• To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/wheel⁠⁠⁠ 
• To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/marriage-course-online⁠⁠⁠⁠ 
• Book a coaching session with Dr. Glenn: ⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/marriage-help⁠⁠⁠ 

(If links are not working, please copy and paste connectioncodes.co to your search bar and look through our site menu!)⁠⁠

_________________________________________________________________

Connect with Echo Hill Vetter:

• Echo Hill Vetter’s Substack | Letters from Nashville: ⁠⁠⁠https://substack.com/@echohillvetter⁠⁠⁠  
• Echo on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/echohillvetter⁠⁠⁠ 
• Schedule 1:1 Coaching or Group Coaching with Echo: ⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/echohillvetter⁠⁠⁠ 
• Echo’s LinkTree: ⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/echohillvetter

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 – The Part of Marriage No One Prepares You For
• 00:01:06 – Saying the Wrong Name, Every Time
• 00:02:04 – When Life Drains You and Your Spouse Doesn’t Get It
• 00:03:40 – The Worst Thing You Can Do When Your Partner is Struggling
• 00:07:03 – How We Accidentally Made Marriage Impossible
• 00:11:50 – Your Spouse is Not Your Village
• 00:24:18 – Codependency Feels Like Love—Until It’s Not
• 00:28:27 – The Silent Ways We Sabotage Ourselves
• 00:29:06 – The Cost of Ignoring Your Own Body
• 00:31:29 – The Difference Between Asking and Expecting
• 00:33:50 – Speak Now or Resent Later
• 00:35:42 – The Secret to Processing Without Over-Talking
• 00:38:34 – Breaking the Patterns That Keep You Stuck
• 00:49:15 – You Weren’t Meant to Do This Alone
• 00:52:12 – It’s Time to Stop Pretending Everything’s Fine

In this episode, Tera Wages sits down with Phyllis Hill and Echo Hill Vedder to talk about a game-changing concept: desire vs. capacity—the difference between what we want to do and what we actually have the bandwidth for. They discuss how ignoring our capacity leads to burnout, why so many of us push through exhaustion, and how tuning into our bodies can be the key to reclaiming energy and joy. Echo shares how she learned to listen to her body instead of the judge in her head, and Phyllis gets real about hitting empty after years of over-functioning. They explore many ways to grow capacity, shift limiting beliefs, and make space for what truly matters—without guilt or shame. Plus, they break down how emotional processing through Connection Codes helps expand capacity and disrupts the pain cycle not just for ourselves, but for our entire community. If you’re feeling exhausted, stuck, or constantly running on fumes, this episode is a must-listen!

Links and Resources:

• Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 
• To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠https://connectioncodes.co/wheel⁠⁠ 
• To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/marriage-course-online⁠⁠⁠ 
• Book a coaching session with Dr. Glenn: ⁠https://connectioncodes.co/marriage-help⁠⁠ 

(If links are not working, please copy and paste connectioncodes.co to your search bar and look through our site menu!)⁠⁠

_________________________________________________________________

Connect with Echo Hill Vetter:

• Echo Hill Vetter’s Substack | Letters from Nashville: ⁠⁠https://substack.com/@echohillvetter⁠⁠  
• Echo on Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/echohillvetter⁠⁠ 
• Schedule 1:1 Coaching or Group Coaching with Echo: ⁠⁠https://calendly.com/echohillvetter⁠⁠ 
• Echo’s LinkTree: ⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/echohillvetter⁠ 

Chapters

• 00:00:00 - The Tug-of-War Between Wanting and Doing
• 00:04:10 - A Room Full of Connection Code Coaches
• 00:05:11 - When Your To-Do List Laughs at You
• 00:08:48 - Burnout Doesn’t Knock—It Kicks the Door Down
• 00:11:58 - Your Body is Keeping Score (And It’s Not Looking Good)
• 00:16:33 - Why Some Days You Can Handle It, and Some Days You Can’t
• 00:22:48 - The Science of Saying No (And Actually Meaning It)
• 00:26:57 - The Invisible Cost of Always Saying Yes
• 00:31:37 - The Brain vs. The Body: Who Wins?
• 00:32:34 - When Life Demands More Than You Can Give
• 00:34:38 - SOS: Finding Help Before You Collapse
• 00:36:36 - Systems That Save You From Yourself
• 00:42:56 - Self-Care Isn’t a Luxury—It’s Survival
• 00:48:07 - Why Emotional Processing is the Secret to More Energy
• 00:54:33 - Final Thoughts From Three People Who’ve Been There

In this episode, Tera sits down with trauma-informed coach Echo Vetter to unpack something most of us were never taught—how to process anger in a healthy way. Echo breaks down the difference between core anger and secondary anger, why we misdefine it, and how it actually exists to protect us. She explains how unprocessed anger lives in the body, often showing up as chronic pain, stress, or emotional shutdown, and shares practical ways to reconnect with ourselves so we stop resisting our own energy. Phyllis opens up about her personal journey of storing anger for decades, the toll it’s taken on her health, and the fear that facing it might damage her closest relationships. Echo offers powerful insight on how we can rewire the way we relate to anger—so instead of being afraid of it, we learn to partner with it and let it fuel the change we need.

Links and Resources:

• Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠ 
• To download the Core Emotion Wheel: https://connectioncodes.co/wheel⁠ 
• To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/marriage-course-online⁠⁠ 
• Book a coaching session with Dr. Glenn: https://connectioncodes.co/marriage-help⁠ 

(If links are not working, please copy and paste connectioncodes.co to your search bar and look through our site menu!)⁠⁠

_________________________________________________________________

Connect with Echo Hill Vetter:

• Echo Hill Vetter’s Substack | Letters from Nashville: ⁠https://substack.com/@echohillvetter⁠  
• Echo on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/echohillvetter⁠ 
• Schedule 1:1 Coaching or Group Coaching with Echo: ⁠https://calendly.com/echohillvetter⁠ 
• Echo’s LinkTree: ⁠https://linktr.ee/echohillvetter 

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - The Weight of Unprocessed Anger
• 00:00:37 - Who’s in the Room? Meet the Voices Behind the Mic
• 00:01:48 - A Road Trip, A Wedding, and Deep Talks
• 00:03:27 - Anger Isn’t Just One Thing
• 00:04:26 - Why We Have Anger (And Why We Fear It)
• 00:05:08 - Making Friends with an Uncomfortable Emotion
• 00:09:25 - How to Stop Fighting Your Own Energy
• 00:14:49 - Three Pages a Day: Writing Through Emotion
• 00:23:17 - Why Men and Women Experience Anger Differently
• 00:29:51 - The Moment You Realize You’re Holding More Than You Thought
• 00:30:21 - Is This Anger Mine to Carry?
• 00:32:42 - The Survival Strategies We Never Question
• 00:38:31 - What Happens When You Ignore Your Body’s Signals
• 00:40:26 - How the Judgment Cycle Keeps You Stuck
• 00:42:12 - The Smallest Shift That Changes Everything
• 00:50:38 - The Emotional Tool You Need (That No One Taught You)
• 00:54:04 - Closing Thoughts & What Happens Next

Tera sits down with Meaghan Hill for an update that so many listeners have been asking for. Nearly a year after her diagnosis, Meg shares what this journey has been like—the hard days, the unexpected moments, and the deep gratitude she has for the people who have surrounded her. She talks about what it’s like to sit in the emotions that come with something this heavy, how faith has played a huge role, and why she refused to accept the prognosis she was given. Tera and Meg also talk about connection—what it means to truly show up for each other, how to navigate the ups and downs with the people you love, and the small, everyday moments that mean everything. This conversation is real, emotional, and full of perspective on what really matters in life.

Links and Resources:

• Meg’s Healing Journey: https://www.megshealingjourney.com
• To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/wheel⁠
• To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/marriage-course-online⁠⁠
• Book a coaching session with Dr. Glenn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/marriage-help⁠

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 – The Update You’ve All Been Waiting For
• 00:02:14 – “Go Make Memories”—Meg’s World Shifts
• 00:04:06 – Anesthesia Wears Off, Reality Sets In
• 00:05:39 – When Survival Means Ignoring the Odds
• 00:10:03 – The People Who Refused to Let Meg Go Through This Alone
• 00:14:07 – Defying Expectations, One Scan at a Time
• 00:23:24 – The Moments That Matter Most (and We Almost Miss)
• 00:23:42 – What Pain Taught Me About Living
• 00:25:19 – Fear Knocking, Faith Answering
• 00:26:24 – Laughing in the Face of the Unthinkable
• 00:28:22 – Why We Need People More Than We Realize
• 00:32:26 – Sorting Out Emotions When Life Throws Everything at You
• 00:38:32 – If Someone You Love Has Cancer, Listen to This
• 00:42:27 – A Final Word on Hope, Healing, and What Really Matters