Matthew Raabsmith is a certified professional coach and relationship specialist, and Joanna Raabsmith is a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in trauma and betrayal recovery. Together, they co-lead The Raabsmith Team and help couples rebuild connection after addiction and relational pain.

After pornography addiction and secrecy deeply impacted their marriage, Matthew and Joanna began a recovery journey that transformed both their individual lives and their relationship. In this episode, they share what porn addiction actually did to their emotional intimacy, how betrayal trauma affected Joanna’s sense of safety and identity, and why stopping porn was only the beginning of healing.

They address questions many couples quietly wrestle with: What does pornography do to a marriage over time? Can a relationship survive porn addiction? What is betrayal trauma, and why does it feel so devastating?

Matthew and Joanna explain why honesty must come before trust, why rushing forgiveness can create more harm, and what sustainable recovery really looks like for both partners.

Whether you’re navigating betrayal, struggling with porn use, or hoping to build a healthier relationship in the future, this conversation offers clarity and grounded hope.

Episode Resources:

• Article: When Porn Use Shatters Trust: A Therapist Explains Betrayal Trauma
• Video: Our Experience on Porn Recovery and Betrayal Trauma
• Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 94: Dr. Jill Manning
• Matthew and Joanna's Website: The Raabsmith Team

This episode is sponsored by Relay, a secure peer-support app that connects you with a small group of people who understand what you’re going through and help you stay accountable on your journey to quit porn. CBC listeners can try Relay free for 7 days when they sign up at http://ftnd.org/joinrelay

Mariah is a policy advocate focused on trafficking and online exploitation, the founder of Undox, and a GirlsDoPorn trafficking survivor. In this episode, she shares her story and what survival looked like inside a situation shaped by deception, fear, and coercion.

Mariah describes how she was recruited under false pretenses, how quickly the reality of the situation shifted, and how isolation and uncertainty shaped the choices she felt she had. She explains how trauma responses like the fawn response became a way to get through moments when resisting or leaving didn’t feel safe, and why behaviors that may appear like consent from the outside often aren’t.

She also reflects on the long aftermath of exploitation: living with nonconsensual content online, carrying guilt for the ways she survived, and being drawn back in after initially getting out. Over time, Mariah shares how her understanding of herself and other survivors was shaped. Through connection, witness, and advocacy, she came to recognize the strength, intelligence, and resilience it takes not only to survive exploitation, but to keep going afterward. That perspective has helped shape her healing and her decision to support others through survivor-led work.

Why don’t victims just leave? How does sex trafficking actually happen in cases like GirlsDoPorn? And why do some survivors appear to comply or return? Mariah’s story offers a clearer picture.

Episode Resources:

• Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 78: Jane Doe (Part 1)
• Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 78: Jane Doe (Part 2)
• Mariah's: Content Removal Site: Undox
• Generate Hope
• Victim Resources

In this episode of Consider Before Consuming, Richard and Heather share how pornography quietly impacted their marriage and what it took to begin healing together.

Richard reflects on his early exposure to porn, how his use escalated over time, and how things shifted when he began engaging with performers online and realized that one woman he interacted with was being coerced into the industry. Heather shares her perspective as a partner, including the changes she noticed before the truth came out and how disclosure affected trust and intimacy.

Together, they talk about secrecy, honesty, recovery, and why bringing pornography into the open became a turning point for both their marriage and their healing.

Episode Resources:

• Article: Benefits of Quitting Porn According to 90 Real People
• Article: Why Watching Porn With My Partner Was a Terrible Idea
• Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 112: Robert
• Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 140: Victoria Sinis

Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussion of early exposure to sexualized content and suicidal ideation. Listener discretion is advised.

Ore Oduba is an actor, broadcaster, and podcaster based in the UK. In this episode, Ore shares his personal experience with pornography addiction, which began with early exposure in childhood and continued for decades.

He explains how pornography shaped his understanding of intimacy, how secrecy and shame affected his mental health and relationships, and what finally led him to seek help and begin recovery. Ore also talks about parenting in the digital age, why kids need safe adults more than punishment, and how open, non-judgmental conversations can help protect young people from harm.

This episode is sponsored by Relay, a secure peer-support app that connects you with a small group of people who understand what you’re going through and help you stay accountable on your journey to quit porn. Try Relay for free for 7 days at https://joinrelay.app.link/ftnd

Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussion of sexual violence, exploitation, and child sexual abuse. Listener discretion is advised.

Heidi Olson is a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner and the Founder and President of Paradigm Shift Training and Consulting.

Drawing from years of frontline medical experience, Heidi explains why sexual exploitation and trafficking are often missed, how early exposure to pornography is shaping young people’s understanding of sex and consent, and why child-on-child sexual harm is becoming increasingly common. 

Episode Resources:

• Article: How Porn can Fuel Sexual Violence by Lessening Empathy in Consumers
• Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 17: Heidi Olson
• Connect with Heidi: Paradigm Shift
• RAINN
• CAC Training Materials: Culture Reframed

*This episode contains discussions about sexual exploitation and coercion. Listener discretion is advised.

In this episode of Consider Before Consuming, former OnlyFans creator Taylor shares what the platform was really like—from the money promises that drew her in to the pressure, contracts, safety concerns, and identity toll that made her want out. Taylor talks about how hard it can be to leave once you’re in, what the industry expects from creators, and how stepping away impacted her mental health.

Episode Resources:

• Article: The Problem with Parasocial Relationships on OnlyFans
• Article: The Dangerous Quest for Fame on OnlyFans
• Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 148: How OnlyFans Incentivizes Extreme Content

Porn addiction is often misunderstood, especially when it comes to how it actually develops in the brain and what real recovery looks like. In this episode, licensed clinical counselor and CSAT Chris Chandler breaks down the science behind compulsive porn use, why young brains are especially vulnerable, and how stress and porn can create a powerful cycle that’s hard to break.

Chris also shares why porn addiction can mirror substance addiction in the brain, the role of emotional pain and loneliness, why relationships don’t automatically “fix” the problem, and what a realistic recovery process truly involves.

This episode is sponsored by Relay, a secure peer-support app that connects you with a small group of people who understand what you’re going through and help you stay accountable on your journey to quit porn. CBC listeners can try Relay free for 30 days when they sign up at http://joinrelay.app/consider.

Episode Resources:

• Article: How Porn Can Contribute to an Unhealthy Cycle of Stress
• Relay: CBC Listeners get one month free
• Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 126: Relay Panel
• Ted Talk: My Stroke of Insight

Ryan Ridgway is a mental health educator and former addiction support specialist from the UK. In this episode, he talks about his 20-year struggle with pornography use, OCD, and substance abuse. He explains how porn became his main way to cope with stress and mental illness, how that habit slowly took control of his life, and what recovery has looked like since. Ryan also discusses the connection between porn and self-esteem, body image, and mental health, and why honest conversation about these issues matters.

Episode Resources:

• Article: Watching Porn May Be Negatively Impacting Your Mental Health
• This episode is sponsored by Relay: CBC Listeners get 40% Relay in November with code FTND40
• Follow Ryan on Instagram

Trigger Warning: This episode contains brief references to childhood sexual abuse. Listener discretion is advised

Toni Collier is a speaker, author, and founder of Broken Crayons Still Color, a global women’s organization helping people process brokenness and find hope. In this episode, Toni shares how being exposed to pornography as a child led to addiction, shame, and struggles with identity—and how she’s now creating a healthier, more open environment for her kids.

She also talks about the power of community and connection in healing and parenting, reminding us that even when life feels messy or broken, beauty and growth are still possible.

This episode is sponsored by Relay, a secure peer-support app that connects you with a small group of people who understand what you’re going through and help you stay accountable on your journey to quit porn. Try it today for 20% off! 

Episode Resources:

• Article: Why Fighting Porn Must Include Fighting Shame
• Podcast: Consider Before Consuming Ep. 83: Myunique
• Toni's Website
• Bark: Fighters get a free month!

Kyle was first exposed to pornography at a young age, and it quickly became a coping mechanism that followed him into adulthood. In this episode, he and his wife, Maddie, share openly about how pornography impacted their marriage, shattering trust, creating betrayal trauma, and forcing them to confront hard truths about honesty and healing. Maddie offers her perspective as a partner navigating broken trust and the painful process of rebuilding safety in the relationship, while Kyle speaks to the challenges of recovery and overcoming shame. Together, they discuss what healing looks like in real time, showing both the difficulty and the hope that can exist when couples confront pornography’s impact head-on.

Episode Resources:

• Video: Our Experience on Porn Recovery and Betrayal Trauma
• Recovery Resources