Conversations from the Heart

Today, we’re bringing you three heartfelt and deeply relatable conversations:

Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: 
How do you protect your children while maintaining your own emotional resilience? We’ll dive into strategies for setting firm boundaries, minimizing conflict, and creating a safe and nurturing environment for your kids—all while managing the complexities of dealing with someone who prioritizes control over collaboration.

Reconnecting with an Adult Child
How do you approach a grown child with whom you’ve had a strained relationship, especially when the past is filled with pain? We’ll explore ways to lead with vulnerability, take responsibility without burdening them, and open the door to reconnection with respect and care. 

Navigating Boundaries with a Difficult Roommate
Sharing a home can be a minefield of misunderstandings, especially when personalities clash and past trauma comes into play. We’ll break down how to manage a tense living situation with a roommate who struggles with passive-aggressive communication and territorial behaviors. 


We consider:

•  2:15 How can I co-parent best?
•  15:20 Will my requests make a sticky situation worse?
• 20:30 A helpful hint when dealing with narcissistic defenses
•  26:50 How can I open the door to a deeper conversation with my adult child?
• 32:35 What I'd want to hear from an estranged parent
•  38:02 How can I invite my roommate into a conversation?
• 48:30 Closing thoughts

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Let's dive into the complexities of communication, parenting, and emotional connection as we explore: 

1.  How to handle projections in relationships when someone assumes your 
thoughts and reacts defensively. 

2. What do you do when your child doesn't like your "tone of voice? 

3. What do you do when you want a deeper connection with a friend but fear their response? Or when a friendship feels unsafe, leaving you unsure how to proceed? 

4. The art of creating emotionally safe conversations in the face of judgment or blame. 


Want to skip to the good part? 

• 1:02  My friend gets angry at me because they imagine I'm thinking things that aren't even in my head.  What can I do?
• 8:42  How do I respond to "Don't psychoanalyze me?"
• 11:13  How can I alter the criticism my child hears in my voice? 
• 16:47  1 way to reduce power struggles
• 21:18  3 tips to shift our mindset from control to connection for parents
• 27:28  How can I be authentic if I don't feel safe?
• 32:10.  What is the "turnaround defense"?
• 39:24  A response to "You're too sensitive."
• 41:12  A response for "Don't take it so personally."
• 47:05  I want to speak with my friend but I'm afraid she'll tell me no.
• 53:53  How can I invite my friend into an authentic discussion?

If you’ve ever struggled with parenting, vulnerability, or feeling "too much," this episode will resonate deeply. Tune in to gain a roadmap for cultivating deeper connection, shared humanity, and self-sovereignty in all your relationships.

Ready to transform your parenting with practical, proven skills? My Parenting Masterclass is your next step to building stronger, more connected relationships with your kids. Click here to learn more and join today!

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Friendships can be so difficult to navigate sometimes.  In today's conversation, we help identify the factors that can make friendships feel icky, and work out ways to show up authentically and with an open heart, rather than trying to problem solve.

We discuss:

• 1:00  Looking for an in-person opportunity to work with me?  Consider attending my retreat!
• 3:52  Help!  My friend and I can really trigger each other.
• 6:33  What to do when needs are different.
• 10:38  We're not here to protect other people from their feelings.
• 15:27  The difference between listening for understanding and listening for connection.
• 17:45  We don't need to understand to empathize.
• 19:37  The difference between being a mirror and a consultant.
• 25:19  Our feelings are information.
• 32:55  Closing thoughts

If you're looking for an in-person opportunity to ground yourself in your own goodness, read all about my March 2025 retreat to Santa Fe.

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Are you worried about Thanksgiving dinner conversations with family members who voted differently than you?  In this week's episode, we listen to a conversation with Suzanne, who is trying to navigate issues of duty and connection with family members who don't share her values.

We discuss:

• 1:39  How do I explain to my family that I can't talk to them?
• 4:55  Working with the concept of duty
• 9:48  Developing boundaries around our relational terms of engagement 
• 15:32  What needs are met when I reach out?
• 18:19  The difference between the public self and the private self/fitting in vs. belonging
• 27:15  What makes taking the next step in personal growth easier  
• 31:14  Closing thoughts

My online course How to Have Hard Conversations can help you navigate your next difficult conversation.  Need a roadmap for a difficult talk?  Register today!

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

This week's podcast features one of my favorite discussions:  Boundaries.  It can be hard to set boundaries with life-long friends, and this week's discussion explores the complications concerning caring for ourselves, and helping others.

In this episode we explore:

• 1:00  Looking for an in-person opportunity to work with me?  Consider attending my retreat!
• 4:01  A follow up conversation - "I had that hard conversation with my friend..."
• 8:59  What needs of yours did you meet by changing your plan?
• 10:57  A part of me wants to make her "wrong"
• 16:13  We can't do the hard work of waking up for someone else.
• 22:42  A script for disconnecting non-violently
• 26:58  The practice of somatic healing
• 29:00  The polarity between self-improvement and self-acceptance
• 31:55  Closing thoughts:  including 8 Practical Insights for Setting Boundaries.

If you're looking for an in-person opportunity to ground yourself in your own goodness, read all about my March 2025 retreat to Santa Fe.

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

When they're good, our friendships can greatly contribute to the overall quality of our life.  When they're hard, our friendships can make life really difficult.

On this episode of Conversations from the Heart, we talk about all kinds of issues regarding friendships.  

We discuss:

• 1:01  How do I take a break from a friendship?
• 8:10  How to acknowledge a truth instead of debate it.
• 14:46  Is it worth it to try and reveal myself to a friend or should I just cut ties?
• 19:55  How to be vulnerable with those who deserve to hear it.
• 21:23  How denying ourselves a whole hearted yes or a whole hearted no hurts us.
• 24:47  The difference between a peer and a project.
• 28:19  How do I allow myself permission to change my mind?
• 29:26  Allowing people to solve their own problems is an act of respect.
• 34:07  The only people who object to us looking after ourselves are the people who benefit when we don't.
• 35:40  How can I approach a friend about the past?
• 41:25  I can always tell the truth, but can I field the response?
• 44:42  What prevents us from feeling empathy?
• 50:16  Help me decline an invitation!

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

One of the hardest decisions we can make is to dismantle a marriage when there are children involved.

On this episode of the podcast, we uncover how to make the decision of whether to stay in or leave a marriage because of the kids.  We also discuss:

• 1:34  How do I make accommodations for my needs and my children's needs at the same time?
• 4:01  Determining the values behind our needs
• 6:15  Grief and acceptance in a relationship
• 8:28  An old flame is coming into town.  How can I have a safe conversation about hurt feelings?
• 14:37  Discerning someone's role in our life
• 17:23  The importance of exhibiting care
• 20:45  The difference between caring for someone's well-being and taking responsibility for it
• 23:31  What words can I use to calm down a charged situation? 

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

It's domination programming that teaches us the louder we raise our voices, the faster the other person will capitulate and join our side.

However, in order to affect real change, the key is to get others to care about what it is we're caring about.  And this is a much slower, longer, harder task.

In this episode, we talk with a caller embarking on a trip to South Africa, who is interested in showing up authentically to her traveling companions, without raising their defenses.  The ultimate goal?  To get them to care about what she cares about.  We discuss:

• 1:44  How can I show up authentically around my husband's colleagues when we see the world so differently?
• 3:34  One of the dynamics present is the devaluation of indigenous history and culture 
• 5:55  How to step out of the old domination game
• 7:43  Making the implicit explicit
• 12:54  Empathizing with the other side
• 16:37  The importance of expressing care
• 18:45  It's enough to introduce a disruptive voice into the room

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

The locus of control in a boundary lies with us, and concerns what we are willing and unwilling to do.

One of the data points we can use when negotiating our boundaries is how others engage with us.

In this podcast episode, we discuss our responsibility for setting up terms for engagement that are centered around our values, and we discuss:

• 1:11  How do I reinforce a boundary with out losing my temper?
• 5:37  The locus of control in boundary setting
• 5:55  Setting terms of engagement in our relationships
• 15:14  I apologized to my friend, but now she thinks we're friends again
• 20:43  Conversation role play with a friend 
• 34:23  Is it even worth having these types of conversations?  They're so hard!
• 40:05  I'm worried verbal empathy can make things worse

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

It can be incredibly painful when we find ourselves in relationships where we long for deeper authentic connection but can't seem to elicit that desire in others.

In this episode, we discuss:

• 1:11  How can I connect with someone who can't work won't talk about his feelings?
• 8:13  If someone is unhappy, that must mean something is wrong, right?
• 12:11  How our agenda is often an obstacle to authentic connection
• 19:42  How can I find closure with my ex-best friend?
• 23:46  I want her to open up but she won't
• 28:34  My dad is ill; how do I talk to others about his impending death?
• 34:53  I've heard through the grapevine that my friend is upset with me:  should I bring it up to her? 

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube