As we run through our everyday lives, we'll inevitably bump up against other humans who might be less resourced than we are.  

Catching others as they're having a bad day can provide us stellar opportunities to increase our own empathy, and we don't even have to say a word.

On this week's episode, we delve into ways to manage our own nervous systems amidst the triggered nervous systems of others, including:

• 4:24  How can someone be verbally aggressive and still profess love?
• 12:59  What yelling does, and doesn't do
• 16:54  How can NVC help me when I feel frozen?
• 24:06  How can capacity building help me field someone else's triggered reactions?
• 30:13  How can I get better at holding my own needs along with someone else's?
• 37:37  The 2 part practice for fielding someone else's triggered response

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Do you ever worry that empathy is getting in the way?  

In this week's episode, one caller worried that empathizing with his mother in law's fear of having cancer was actually making her anxiety worse, and not better.  

On this call one of the things we discuss is anxiety, and some of the tips we can use when trying to empathize with someone who's feeling anxious.

• 1:51  My friend is dismissive when I try to talk about my body.
• 15:24  Our bodies have often been used as tools of oppression.
• 17:34  I'm confused, and you get defensive when I ask questions.
• 35:56  Dad, is your offer to pay for college still open?
• 41:45  Is empathy increasing the anxiety?
• 46:57  How can I stay grounded in myself when I'm falling for you?

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

It's only human to want the traditional NVC formula to solve all our connection problems.

However, what the traditional observation, feelings, needs and request paradigm often does best is help us sort our own stuff out internally, first.  After we use it to get our own stuff straight, then we can experiment with the best way to connect with those around us.

Want to experience this with a real life example?  Here's what we discuss on this week's episode:

• 3:31  When identifying feelings and needs is internal - not external - work
• 9:37  Getting wrongness out of the picture
• 13:40  A script for moving forward

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Do you find yourself plotting out how you're going to respond to someone even while they're still talking to you?

We all do this.

And it never works well.  Not for any of us.

Upleveling our listening skills is one of the most important upgrades we can make for our relationships.   Today's episode is rich with ideas of where to focus during a conversation in order to create an experience that fosters intimacy and connection for both parties.

We discuss:

• 1:20  I'm defensive and I jump to conclusions in conversations with my partner.  How do I stop?
• 3:22  How to focus on our 2 internal listening resources
• 4:28  Tips for listening deeply
• 9:02  Surfacing universal human needs
• 14:12  How "right" and "wrong" block our ability to listen from our heart
• 15:58  Unlearning domination programming
• 22:11  The price of disowning anger

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

In this week's mini-episode, we delve into the needs that can be met when our family steps up to contribute to our lives in meaningful, important ways, and the loneliness and grief that can occur when they are no longer willing to help.

We discover:

• 2:53  My brother-in-law doesn't want to help me anymore and my feelings are hurt
• 7:30  A script for checking things out 
• 11:27  Ways to honor freedom and choice

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Having good boundaries is not the same as being violent, and enforcing rules is not coercion.

In this week's episode, we unpack a professor's desire to limit coercion and violence in her classroom and her desire to create a tight container that supports and respects participant sharing.

We consider:

• 2:52  Can mandatory attendance be in line with nonviolence?
• 10:52  How can I create a tight container nonviolently?
• 11:46  Having good boundaries is not the same as being violent.

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

It can be hard to enjoy work f you're in a power up/power down situation with a boss who consistently criticizes you.

It is especially challenging if you don't trust the perspective that your supervisor has.

In today's mini-episode, we discuss strategies for handling criticism at work in ways that build understanding and reduce tension.  

Although a clean and tidy resolution may not always be possible, it is an option to go to bat for yourself and your needs, while also actively listening to what your boss offers.

In this episode we explore:

• 4:34  My boss' criticism feels like a way to control me
• 5:58  Her criticism tells you about her, not about you
• 10:42  Personalizing - not generalizing - impact
• 13:42  Reflecting her to her
• 14:09  Sitting in the tension of two perspectives

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

High self-esteem is important because it influences how individuals perceive themselves, interact with others, and navigate the world around them. 

By fostering healthy self-esteem, individuals can cultivate resilience, confidence, and well-being, laying the foundation for a fulfilling and satisfying life.

When our self-esteem is lower than we'd like, there's one fool-proof way to bolster it:  by resting in our own goodness. 

This week's podcast discusses some practical steps we can take to increase our own sense of self-worth.  

We discuss:

• 4:49   When demand energy robs us of the joy of giving
• 13:55   A script for building intimacy by using curiosity
• 21:22   Is it ok to change my mind frequently?
• 25:54   A multi-faceted prescription for deeper connection with others
• 28:04   How do I navigate family gatherings when my relatives say hurtful things?
• 33:40   Tips for increasing self-worth   

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

It can be really valuable to talk about the difference between anger and aggression.

Although aggression can't exist outside of violence, anger can.

This week's podcast discusses some of the wisdom that can present itself alongside anger, such as clarity surrounding needs, understanding regarding self-worth, insight around boundaries, and awareness concerning relational patterns.

Interested in knowing more?  We'll consider:

• 1:30 Unpacking "I don't want to go to school today."
• 8:30 Responding to another's insistence and urgency
• 18:23 Is my fear accurate?
• 24:30 How can I untangle conflicting, overwhelming emotions?
• 28:45 One definition for anger
• 35:23 How can I work at loving myself?
• 38:00 A recipe for gentle self-acceptance
• 41:10 Confidence from the inside out

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

These days, it can be so difficult to discuss politics and religion.

Often, people tell me they just avoid those conversations.  And honestly, I get it.

However, if we're invested in co-creating a relationship with someone we care about, exploring places where we hold different opinions and beliefs can be exactly the place where we build intimacy.

Looking for a roadmap on how to have conversations around different beliefs?  Check   this episode out!

We'll discuss:

• 1:17  I'm concerned about my fiancé's political views
• 6:09  A roadmap for connection:  begin with observations 
• 12:01  Making our invisible lines visible for others 
• 22:50  Ways to involve kids in the conversation about their behavior 
• 26:22  A tip for helping a child choose healthy strategies
• 39:06  When is it a boundary and when is it coercion?
• 37:26  Prioritizing the relationship above the behavior
• 41:23  What can I do when I'm frozen in an active power struggle?
• 54:13  What about adults who throw tantrums like children?

This episode references two of Yvette's best-selling courses: The Boundaries Masterclass and The Parenting Masterclass.  Check them out for more helpful tips!

To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube