Today's conversation dives into the critical role of trust and communication in professional and personal relationships. 

Some of the questions we answer this week include:

•  How do I handle having trust issues with my realtor? (0:58)
• How do I get my partner into therapy? (17:41) 
• How do I decide whether or not to take a job opportunity that would keep me away from home? (34:37) 

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

There's a big difference between feeling hurt and being harmed.

In this week's episode I start with a few recent realizations from my own life regarding hurt and harm, and then we move into the following questions:

1. How do I respond to someone accusing me of gaslighting when the person remembers a situation differently from me?  (8:40) 
2. How do I talk about something painful and convey what I need to be helped or move past it? (26:57) 
3. How do I connect with a person who is completely shut off? (35:39) 
4. What do I do when I’m unsure if I want to continue a relationship with someone I feel judged me? (38:36) 

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Have you ever felt like you're walking on eggshells during family gatherings or struggling with setting boundaries in relationships? Today's episode explores the nuances involved when we want get our needs met in a way that works for both people.  

You'll get practical strategies for protecting your personal space during stressful times and scripts to help you navigate the choppy waters of family dynamics. Let's replace judgment with non-judgmental approaches and pave the way for deeper connections and more joyful shared experiences. 

We also explore how criticism and judgments impact our relationships with counterproductive outcomes. The conversation highlights the benefits of approaching interactions with ease, collaboration, and co-creation. 

What you'll discover in this call:

(1:12) How do I manage a bait and switch when making plans with family?
(21:09) How could I have a more positive transaction with a painting professional who is gaslighting me?
(34:45) How do I respond empathically when I am called combative for disagreeing with a person of authority?
(48:50) What do we do when we make requests and the others say "no"?

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Empathy is a vital tool in our communication arsenal, allowing us to connect profoundly with others. It’s not merely about sympathizing with someone's situation but genuinely stepping into their shoes, understanding their emotions, and reflecting that understanding back to them. However, empathy alone isn't always enough, especially when faced with challenging dialogues that require us to assert our boundaries and viewpoints. This is where strength must accompany our compassionate approach, enabling us to express ourselves confidently and honestly without invalidating the other person's feelings.

Assertiveness is not about aggression; rather, it’s about clarity and respect—for ourselves and others. It’s about stating what we need and what we stand for without encroaching on another person's space. It is about respecting old and new boundaries while maintaining a loving and supportive connection.

Show notes:
(3:17) How do I deal with freezing when I want to stand up for someone or myself?
(14:38) How do I increase self-compassion and decrease self-judgment?
(22:34) What questions should I ask to avoid intellectualizing and instead get in touch with my emotions?
(30:37) How do I set up having an empathy partner?
(37:55) How should we respond when our child shares a life change but only wants our agreement or positive reaction?
(49:07) Showing gratitude and sharing how the conversation has provided learning
(53:25) Outro

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

In this episode, the conversation is about the emotional rollercoaster of family estrangement,  examining the layers of apologies and the fears around intimacy.

We explore the deep need for understanding and validation, particularly through the act of apology, which is dissected as more than a mere admission of fault but rather as an expression of empathy and a stepping stone toward healing.

We touch upon the complex interplay between advocating for oneself and showing empathy, especially when chronic pain affects one of the partners. 

We also discuss crafting conversations that are both tender and truthful, ensuring that each partner feels heard and respected. This delicate balance between self-advocacy and understanding is crucial in times of pain and can help in how partners support each other.

Show notes:
(0:53) What is the point of setting boundaries when I feel bad about it?
(9:12) How do I address hearsay when it comes back to me?
(18:15) What I really want in an apology.
(24:20) Can I improve this relationship all by myself?
(26:32) How do I handle a fear about being intimate with a partner?
(34:28) How do I advocate for my needs without making the other person feel like they're being micro-managed or controlled?
(51:28) Outro

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

In this conversation, we dive into the complexities of setting boundaries in the workplace and personal life. The ability to create a healthy space for oneself is not just about keeping others at bay but about nurturing interpersonal connections that are both compassionate and clear. The dance between personal limits and empathetic responses to others is delicate but crucial for fostering growth and resilience in all kinds of relationships.

Starting with the familiar setting of the office, we explored scenarios with colleagues who may need help understanding personal space. The guidance provided is practical and rooted in respect for oneself and others. It involves a nuanced conversation where one's needs are articulated without causing undue distress. 

The conversation then extended into the personal realm, where physical interactions like hugs or massages can sometimes cross boundaries. We emphasized the value of open communication, highlighting how expressing preferences and discomforts is a gift to oneself and the relationship. 

We also discuss the power of being a compassionate witness to others' experiences and how expressing genuine support can be transformative. Moreover, it examined the language used to humanize individuals and the responses to past relationships, shedding light on the nuance needed in these interactions.

Finally, we talked about the complexities of community work. A story about navigating a challenging situation with a resistant authority figure while advocating for the homeless was shared. Strategies for shifting from power struggles to collaboration, rehumanizing, and problem-solving for sustainable cultural shifts were discussed.

Show notes: 
(1:01) How do I set boundaries with someone who is too touchy and too clingy without hurting their feelings?
(14:50) How do I ask someone to shorten the duration of their hug?
(19:05) How do I express my desire to help and be a compassionate witness to family members going through a conflict?
(29:59) How do I let someone know their compliment to me is something I do not consider a compliment without hurting their feelings?
(41:03) How do I get out of a power struggle with the system and have a more strategic conversation to help the community?
(56:40) What is your perspective on filial obligation?

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

In this latest conversation, we dive into the nuanced world of personal boundaries and compassionate communication. It's a realm that many find challenging to navigate, as it requires a fine balance between honoring our own needs and respecting those of others. 

We discuss the internal conflicts that arise when we must assert our personal limits, such as the fear of offending loved ones or being perceived as too demanding.

The topic of neurodiversity adds another layer to this discussion. We talk about  how to advocate for oneself while still nurturing relationships, highlighting the significance of empathy in achieving effective communication.

Another focal point of the episode is the intersection of artistic expression and personal boundaries. We explore the tension between seizing creative opportunities and adhering to one's personal comfort levels. This dialogue serves as a reminder of the importance of self-respect in any field of work, especially in creative industries where the lines can often become blurred.

The episode also tackles the difficult subject of conflict and self-reflection. We examine the tendency to react defensively or aggressively when our boundaries are challenged. By recognizing and understanding our destructive patterns, we open up the possibility of responding with compassion and maturity. 


Show notes: 
(1:29) How do you communicate to friends why you can't go to their house because they found out that they have bedbugs in their house?
(13:33) How do I say to my mother that I need her to wait 10 seconds after asking me a question so I can process it and respond?
(22:19) How do I create and communicate boundaries when doing photography?
(32:24) How do I manage my energy when responding to negative evaluations?
(44:07) How do we determine when what someone is saying to us is an attack?
(56:15) Outro

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

In this episode, you will learn strategies for articulating concerns without offending, fostering an environment of mutual respect and understanding. The nuances of respectful communication are crucial in any situation.

The conversation also touches on the challenge of managing demanding digital communication. By setting boundaries and providing clear timeframes, you can assert autonomy over your responses, reclaiming control over your communication and emotional well-being.

Lastly, the episode addresses the importance of setting and respecting personal boundaries, taking responsibility for your actions, and the bravery required to embark on a journey toward healing. It highlights the difficulty of navigating relationships with parents, where maintaining contact can feel one-sided and can be fraught with past traumas and fears of emotional manipulation.

Show notes:
(1:14) Yvette shares a celebration
(5:32) How do I express concerns about someone's driving without criticism?
(13:53) How do I respond to triggering emails and delaying responses to difficult conversations?
(28:29) How do I balance self-values and external philosophies?
(42:19) How do I deal with being estranged from adult children? 
(53:10) Outro

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Have you ever felt caught in the emotional riptide of a relationship, where every push and pull seems to unearth deeper wounds? 

In this episode, we talk about the cycle of conflict and the pivotal moments where emotional work teeters on the edge of being constructive or destructive. Our candid dialogue peels back the layers of reenactment in relationships, offering insights into how this phenomenon can hinder growth and healing, leaving partners spinning in a seemingly endless cycle of distress.

We also discuss the nuances of boundary-setting within Codependency Anonymous groups and beyond, examining the ways early attachment issues play out in adult relationships and support settings. 

Show notes:
(0:55) How do you keep from triggering each other in a relationship?
(17:08) How do we find balance in our relationship?
(26:03) How do I establish boundaries and safety in a CODA meeting with a controlling person?
(35:24) How do I set intentions and strategies for a business meeting?
(49:33) How do I respond to a person who is in pain?
(55:34) How do I approach conflicts in a structured manner?
(57:50) Providing an example of an OFNR response to a fixing comment
(1:00:39) Outro

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Finding the right words is only part of gracefully navigating difficult conversations; what matters is delving into self-awareness, acknowledging how our past experiences shape our present interactions, and approaching every conversation with openness and honesty. By understanding our biases and triggers, we can better manage our emotions during challenging discussions. Additionally, actively listening and seeking to understand the other person's perspective can foster empathy and create a more productive dialogue. 

In this episode, you will gain insights and strategies to maintain your composure and adhere to your deepest values, no matter the direction the conversation takes.

Show notes:
(1:39) What attachments get in the way? 
(3:49) What needs to be brought into awareness? 
(5:56) Whose insights do you trust? 
(7:53) What to track as you go 
(9:48) What's happening in your body? 
(12:01) How to fill up ahead of time 
(16:54) What's your intention? 
(17:53) How can your imagination help you? 
(18:54) Contingency planning 

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube