Conversations from the Heart

High self-esteem is important because it influences how individuals perceive themselves, interact with others, and navigate the world around them. 

By fostering healthy self-esteem, individuals can cultivate resilience, confidence, and well-being, laying the foundation for a fulfilling and satisfying life.

When our self-esteem is lower than we'd like, there's one fool-proof way to bolster it:  by resting in our own goodness. 

This week's podcast discusses some practical steps we can take to increase our own sense of self-worth.  

We discuss:

• 4:49   When demand energy robs us of the joy of giving
• 13:55   A script for building intimacy by using curiosity
• 21:22   Is it ok to change my mind frequently?
• 25:54   A multi-faceted prescription for deeper connection with others
• 28:04   How do I navigate family gatherings when my relatives say hurtful things?
• 33:40   Tips for increasing self-worth   

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

It can be really valuable to talk about the difference between anger and aggression.

Although aggression can't exist outside of violence, anger can.

This week's podcast discusses some of the wisdom that can present itself alongside anger, such as clarity surrounding needs, understanding regarding self-worth, insight around boundaries, and awareness concerning relational patterns.

Interested in knowing more?  We'll consider:

• 1:30 Unpacking "I don't want to go to school today."
• 8:30 Responding to another's insistence and urgency
• 18:23 Is my fear accurate?
• 24:30 How can I untangle conflicting, overwhelming emotions?
• 28:45 One definition for anger
• 35:23 How can I work at loving myself?
• 38:00 A recipe for gentle self-acceptance
• 41:10 Confidence from the inside out

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

These days, it can be so difficult to discuss politics and religion.

Often, people tell me they just avoid those conversations.  And honestly, I get it.

However, if we're invested in co-creating a relationship with someone we care about, exploring places where we hold different opinions and beliefs can be exactly the place where we build intimacy.

Looking for a roadmap on how to have conversations around different beliefs?  Check   this episode out!

We'll discuss:

• 1:17  I'm concerned about my fiancé's political views
• 6:09  A roadmap for connection:  begin with observations 
• 12:01  Making our invisible lines visible for others 
• 22:50  Ways to involve kids in the conversation about their behavior 
• 26:22  A tip for helping a child choose healthy strategies
• 39:06  When is it a boundary and when is it coercion?
• 37:26  Prioritizing the relationship above the behavior
• 41:23  What can I do when I'm frozen in an active power struggle?
• 54:13  What about adults who throw tantrums like children?

This episode references two of Yvette's best-selling courses: The Boundaries Masterclass and The Parenting Masterclass.  Check them out for more helpful tips!

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

This week's episode focuses on how to navigate complex family dynamics - especially when what has previously worked is no longer sustainable.

A common theme on this week's podcast is the importance of checking for alignment.  If we're aligned in our needs and our wishes, then designing strategies to meet our goals is easier.

In question number one, a caller is rediscovering his sense of self and discovering the language needed in order to set new boundaries around old family dynamics.  

Today's second caller longs for a deeper relationship with his adult son and we explore strategies to reconnect with someone who's choosing to stay distant.  

If you're struggling with how to align with family members and reclaim your own boundaries and values in complex family dynamics, then this episode is for you!

We explore:

• 2:08  How do I stay true to what I need and stay connected with my family?
• 6:23  Avoid parenting your spouse.
• 9:48  "I had this delusion that my flexibility was building up some kind of credit."
• 15:20  A script to help check for alignment of family goals
• 24:34  How to pick up what the other person is saying so they feel heard
• 26:54  My eldest child doesn't speak to me.  How can I change that?
• 28:21  A script for inviting connection 
• 31:23  How to better attune to your adult child
• 35:11  A script to check for alignment 
• 36:53  There's no such thing as a bad parent
• 41:18  How to listen to your child's feelings and needs without taking it personally
• 49:48 Three nuggets from The Boundaries Masterclass 

The end of today's episode features a brief discussion of The Boundaries Masterclass, one of Yvette's available online courses.  Feel free to check it out!

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

"Venting" often gets a bad rap.

Even though many people see "venting" as an inherently negative thing, knowing how to vent effectively can actually be an effective way of reclaiming and reconnecting with yourself.  

Sometimes, venting is just a pathway to something deeper, and we understand it as a step on our awareness journey.

Other times, we just want to process our experiences out loud with someone who will listen.

Either way, learning how to vent effectively is actually a critical skill to learn so that we can process our experiences in healthy ways without harming others along the way.

In this week's episode, we focus on two main themes: 

• 4:29:  How to apply NVC when there is little trust in the relationship
• 21:47:  How to vent in constructive and life-affirming ways

If you're enjoying my "Conversations From the Heart" podcast, please consider rating and reviewing my show!  This makes it easier for me to support more people just like you have the kinds of connected conversations with themselves and others that enrich our relationships. 

Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review."  That way, I can know exactly what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven’t done so already, please follow this podcast.  That way, you'll never miss an episode!

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

One of the things that can trip us up on our personal growth journey is to force the process before we're ready.

I can think of so many times when I've been longing to master a skill that I was still practicing, and then criticizing myself for where I was at in the process.

In this week's episode, we discover that the remedy for conditioning that inhibits us and the judgment that comes when we long to be other than where we are is getting grounded in our own goodness.  

Questions we'll answer today include:

• 2:35:  How do I tell my AA sponsor that I want a new sponsor?
• 19:17:  How can I stop being so hard on myself and become grounded in my own goodness?
• 35:48:  How can I help a friend take accountability for the negative impact her actions have on those of us in the friend group?

Rate, Review and Follow on Apple Podcasts:
If you're enjoying my "Conversations From the Heart" podcast, please consider rating and reviewing my show!  This makes it easier for me to support more people just like you have the kinds of connected conversations with themselves and others that enrich our relationships.  Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review."  That way, I can know exactly what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast.  That way, you'll never miss an episode!

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Today's conversation dives into the critical role of trust and communication in professional and personal relationships. 

Some of the questions we answer this week include:

•  How do I handle having trust issues with my realtor? (0:58)
• How do I get my partner into therapy? (17:41) 
• How do I decide whether or not to take a job opportunity that would keep me away from home? (34:37) 

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

There's a big difference between feeling hurt and being harmed.

In this week's episode I start with a few recent realizations from my own life regarding hurt and harm, and then we move into the following questions:

1. How do I respond to someone accusing me of gaslighting when the person remembers a situation differently from me?  (8:40) 
2. How do I talk about something painful and convey what I need to be helped or move past it? (26:57) 
3. How do I connect with a person who is completely shut off? (35:39) 
4. What do I do when I’m unsure if I want to continue a relationship with someone I feel judged me? (38:36) 

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Have you ever felt like you're walking on eggshells during family gatherings or struggling with setting boundaries in relationships? Today's episode explores the nuances involved when we want get our needs met in a way that works for both people.  

You'll get practical strategies for protecting your personal space during stressful times and scripts to help you navigate the choppy waters of family dynamics. Let's replace judgment with non-judgmental approaches and pave the way for deeper connections and more joyful shared experiences. 

We also explore how criticism and judgments impact our relationships with counterproductive outcomes. The conversation highlights the benefits of approaching interactions with ease, collaboration, and co-creation. 

What you'll discover in this call:

(1:12) How do I manage a bait and switch when making plans with family?
(21:09) How could I have a more positive transaction with a painting professional who is gaslighting me?
(34:45) How do I respond empathically when I am called combative for disagreeing with a person of authority?
(48:50) What do we do when we make requests and the others say "no"?

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

Empathy is a vital tool in our communication arsenal, allowing us to connect profoundly with others. It’s not merely about sympathizing with someone's situation but genuinely stepping into their shoes, understanding their emotions, and reflecting that understanding back to them. However, empathy alone isn't always enough, especially when faced with challenging dialogues that require us to assert our boundaries and viewpoints. This is where strength must accompany our compassionate approach, enabling us to express ourselves confidently and honestly without invalidating the other person's feelings.

Assertiveness is not about aggression; rather, it’s about clarity and respect—for ourselves and others. It’s about stating what we need and what we stand for without encroaching on another person's space. It is about respecting old and new boundaries while maintaining a loving and supportive connection.

Show notes:
(3:17) How do I deal with freezing when I want to stand up for someone or myself?
(14:38) How do I increase self-compassion and decrease self-judgment?
(22:34) What questions should I ask to avoid intellectualizing and instead get in touch with my emotions?
(30:37) How do I set up having an empathy partner?
(37:55) How should we respond when our child shares a life change but only wants our agreement or positive reaction?
(49:07) Showing gratitude and sharing how the conversation has provided learning
(53:25) Outro

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. 

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube