Broke Trump may have properties seized. Shitler the rapist blathered something moronic about having a decision soon on an abortion ban because he hates women. Pillow wanker Mike Lindell and anti-American load Kari Lake caterwauled about explosive evidence of election fraud. Tiny Trumpkin Peter Navarro must report to prison. Man-baby raised money off his use of "bloodbath."  SCOTUS used the insurrection clause to bar a GOP skeksis from seeking office despite sparing the former guy. People in Arizona are worried pro-Trump orcs may disrupt the vote in 2024. Russian whore Trump said he was bringing back fellow Moscow yes-man Paul Manafort for his 2024 campaign. Obama paid a visit to the UK Priminister and US MAGATS lost their nonexistent minds. The Praying Medic claimed failed predictions by Q were intentional disinformation.

Religious nuts are spreading bogus history claims in this country, claiming the USA is totally based on their myths. Congress wants to ban Tik Tok, while vulture capitalists like Steve Mnuchin are circling to buy the company. The judge gave Fani Willis a choice to either step down from the case against Trump or her former squeeze needs to resign from being the special prosecutor. Mike Lindell is hawking yet another pile of "explosive evidence" that voting machines stole the 2020 election. Mike Pence will not be endorsing the guy who incited a crowd of MAGA cultists to erect a gallows for the former VP during the January 6th insurrection. A Christian nationalist museum in Philadelphia is closing because sane people don't give a crap. Oklahoma christofascist Dusty Deevers, a state senator (Republican, of course), wants Christian men "to go to war for Jesus" in this country. Global warming is sending sharks closer to the buffet of humans that go to the beach. An Australian snake hunter barely survived an encounter with a cranky tiger snake.

Mike Lindell totally has real evidence this time (lol). The House passed a bill that could ban TikTok. Conservative toolbox Mike Johnson's GOP retreat proved to be a bust as Repubs decided to skip the event. Republicans have been leaving Congress because they can't handle their fellow MAGATS. A Cali prison was raided by the FBI because officials were raping inmates. After an abortion medication case, federal courts tried to restrict the practice of "judge shopping." Students in Florida can now say "gay" in the classroom but teachers can't include the term in lesson plans. Anti-vax baller Aaron Rodgers or former wrestler Jesse Ventura might be RFK's running mate. A campaign expert hired by Trump for $750,000 found no evidence of voter fraud in 2020. A ruling in Texas is a bad omen of what's to come with the SCOTUS regarding birth control.

Loser Trump might lose Alex Jones, who lost his MAGAT marbles over Shitler boasting about the warp-speed COVID-19 vaccine rollout. Oscar host Jimmy Kimmel roasted the former guy at the end of the awards ceremony. The orange rapist could get sued a third time by E. Jean Carroll for defamation. Trumpkin orc Peter Navarro was officially ordered to prison. While POTUS, Man-baby spoke positively of Adolf Hitler in front of his former Chief of Staff Kelly. Race wars are being plotted by cross fit clubs run by Nazis. Florida was the number one state for conspiracy theories according to a study. A Mara Lago employee who unknowingly moved classified docs for Diaper Don has been cooperating with Jack Smith. Royal Kate Middleton admitted to doctoring a controversial photo. A crime duo pulled a "Weekend At Bernie's" and used puppetry skills to withdraw a bunch of cash from the deceased bank account.

Biden kicked GOP butt and Dr. Feelgood got demoted.  The rebuttal for Biden's SOTU was delivered by Handmaid's Tale cosplay Nazi Katie Britt and it was epically horrific. Trump secured a 91 million bond from an unknown source so he could appeal his defamation judgment against E. Jean Carroll. The Trump-helping third party known as "No Labels" said they were getting into the presidential race even though they haven't even fielded a candidate. Russia bought up websites of defunct US news organizations to proliferate fake news. Shitler was ordered to pay the legal fees for his toothless suit against the UK company that produced the Steele dossier. Florida claimed it was not their responsibility to establish heat regulations and protections for laborers. Fascist talking meat-head Stew Peters squirted over Hitler's book burnings.

Nikki Haley dropped out and we said, "Bye Felicia" to Kyrsten Sinema. The MAGAT SCOTUS continued to slow-walk the court date for Trump's immunity hearing. Delusional fascist wanker Nick Fuentes squirted through his Nazi kakis over Shitler's supposed hotness. Rapist Donald Trump's Super Tuesday victory party came with a cash bar. Another cowardly House GOP load retired rather than standing up to a Trumpkin in a primary. The armorer on the movie set of Rust was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter. A human took over 200 coronavirus shots and none of their DNA was altered. An illegal animal trafficker was busted attempting to sneak pythons over the border from Canada. Mosquito tornadoes have tortured residents in India. Back in the day, ancient Romans tripped by smoking black henbane seeds in pipes fashioned from the bones of sheep. North Carolina Repubs nominated a holocaust denier to run for governor.

SCOTUS ordered Trump must stay on the ballot and no one is coming to rescue democracy in America except maybe the voters. Shitler's former CEO pleaded guilty to perjury after one of Trump's crappy attorneys scolded the judge for accusing him of perjury. The fascist former guy explained why granting himself immunity would be good for America. France enshrined the right to an abortion in its constitution. Hopeless Nikki Haley finally won a primary but it was meaningless. In news that isn't, Trump has been on a steep mental decline. A New York gun-sucker was sentenced to 25 years to life for murdering someone who was lost and mistakenly pulled into his driveway. A pastor, not a drag queen, was accused of sexually battering a 15-year-old girl.  In other church news, a preacher faced backlash after blathering something stupid about how he could see himself blaming the victim for being raped. Former actor and current Trumpkin Jon Voight released yet another insane video.

Our corrupt conservative SCOTUS is doing Trump a solid by taking up his BS immunity case when they could've just let the lower court decision stand. Whoopi Goldberg said Biden could just toss all the Republicans in jail if SCOTUS rules a president has immunity. Putin is weaponizing migrants in Europe to destabilize governments and influence elections by stirring up the xenophobes. Nixon's people admitted the "war on drugs" during thier time was targeted at blacks and hippies. Shockingly, the Missouri GOP are actually trying to get rid of one their candidates that has ties to the KKK. Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell clobbered clownish James Comer with a perfect jibe about the laughable Biden impeachment hearings. Loony Shane Vaughn says God raised up Trump because Satan had raised up "Barack Hussein Gay Raised By Transgenders Obama." It appears Tommy Tuberville thinks migrants are godless. A West Virginia Republican theo-fascist called evolution a “quickly dying theory.”

SCOTUS agreed to take up Trump's ridiculous immunity claim. Moscow Mitch blathered something about knowing when to leave and then Strokey Smurf announced his retirement from the Senate. An organized group of progressives in Michigan used their primary to protest Biden's support of Israel's war crimes in Gaza. Shitler can't afford the required bond to appeal the financial penalty levied against him in the New York fraud case. A crappy GOP Senator from Mississippi blocked a bill that would protect access to IVF treatment. Boebert E. Lee's dumb kid was busted for burglary and a bunch of thieving-related felonies. After a keen move from Jack Smith, Trump-sucker Judge Aileen Cannon decided to redact sensitive national security info since man-baby's legal team can't be trusted. Lara, married to the ugliest Trump, said Repubs would love to pay her creepy Father-in-law's legal bills. Christian nationalism is gross and most people hate it. Four states in our very stupid country want to lock up women who get a divorce while pregnant.

CPAC rocked a January 6th insurrection pinball machine. The Dems have plan for taking control of conservative state houses. A national uptick in syphilliscases have caused a pencillin shortage. Shitler won the South Carolina Primary and then tossed Senator Lindsey Graham to the MAGA wolves. Trump turned up the racism when he explained black conservatives like him because of his mugshot. The SCOTUS weighed free speech challenges to GOP backed social media regulations. This year at CPAC, the Nazis attended and NBC documented the facist scumbags giving each other the Hitler-salute. Trumpian worm Stephen Miller called for the arrests of "commie teachers." Evil con-man and former GOP rep George Santos dissed CPAC and complained about the expensive ticket price. At the Capitol, charlaton prophet Kat Kerr blathered she was surrounded by a million angels who were ready to the "waste the place."