Dad Starting Over

In this Dear DSO submission, a man reaches out from the middle of an eight-year sexless marriage. He’s passive, anxious, and paralyzed by confusion—and he’s not alone. So many men fall into this trap.

In this episode, I walk through his message and break down what’s really going on here: the anxious attachment, the avoidant wife, the therapy cycles that go nowhere, and the desperation that leads men to stay stuck for years. I also bring up a common thread I see in my community: many of these guys are neurodivergent—autistic, ADHD, or OCD—and they bond fast and deep, which makes walking away feel impossible.

If this sounds like your story, you’re not crazy—but you do need help. Watch to the end to hear what this man should do next—and what you can do if you’re stuck too.

🚨 Submit your own question or story at: https://deardso.com
👥 Join the Brotherhood: https://helpformen.com/join

Seventeen years of marriage. Three kids. Nice house. Dead bedroom for almost a decade.
 Then, during an argument, she looks him in the eye and says the words that’ll haunt him forever:
 “I’m just not attracted to you anymore.”

No yelling. No drama. Just a calm, matter-of-fact gut punch.

This is what happens when a woman has emotionally and physically checked out — and finally wants you to get the message.
 In today’s Dear DSO submission, I break down why this happens, what it really means, and what your options are when your wife finally says what she’s been feeling for years.

This one hits hard.

🎯 Need support? Join the Brotherhood: https://helpformen.com/join

Why do so many women in long-term relationships cheat—and often with men who seem like total losers?

In this video, I break down the science behind two popular theories about female infidelity: the Mate Switching Hypothesis and the Dual Mating Strategy. One of these is more “romantic.” The other is... well, it’s the one most men fear deep down.

We’ll look at the latest research—including a 2024 study co-authored by Macken Murphy—and how it lines up with what I’ve heard from thousands of men in sexless marriages or reeling from betrayal.

This is hard to hear. But if you want real answers, here they are.

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So many men ask me the same question: "How do I know when I've done enough?" They’ve put in the work. They’ve read the books. They’ve hit the gym, led with strength, stayed patient—and still… she avoids connection.

In today’s Dear DSO, Alejandro writes in with a story that I’ve heard far too many times. A disconnected wife. Years of emotional avoidance. A man trying to fix things alone.

I break it all down—how much responsibility is really on the man… and when it’s okay to say: “I’ve done all I can.”

👇 And if you’re in the same boat? You’re not alone. Check out the Brotherhood at
https://helpformen.com/join

A husband finds out—after 12 years of marriage and two kids—that he was never his wife's first choice. After a night of drinks and a fight, she admitted she "settled" for him and still thinks about her college ex.

This is brutal. And it’s more common than you think.

In this video, I break down his story, talk about what’s really going on in situations like this, and explain why some women end up choosing comfort over passion... until it all boils over.

If you're a man trying to make sense of your relationship, sex life, or identity as a husband and father… you're not alone.

👇 Here’s how you can get more help:

🔹 Join the Brotherhood – a private support group for men like you: https://helpformen.com/join

In this Dear DSO episode, I respond to a man who saw the signs early on—but kept going. She told him who she was from the beginning. The problem? He didn’t listen.

We talk about the consequences of ignoring red flags, the fantasy that keeps men trapped, and why your gut instinct is often your best guide.

If you’ve ever thought, “I should’ve known better,” this one’s for you.

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Today’s Dear DSO submission is from a neurodivergent man—he’s got ADHD, a lot of anxiety, and not much dating experience. He feels like he’s defective, like he’ll never figure out how to talk to women or attract them. He sent in a long list of brutally honest questions:

“How do I feel confident when women have all the power?”

“How do I not look needy just by showing interest?”

“Do normal guys really know what they’re doing?”

This one hit hard, and I think a lot of men—especially autistic or ADHD guys—are going to relate.

In this video, I break down where these feelings of shame come from, why experience and repetition are more powerful than any pickup advice, and how to start small and work your way up. This isn't about fake confidence. This is about getting real, falling on your face, and standing back up.

👉 If you want support from other guys going through this same journey, check out the Brotherhood:
https://helpformen.com/join

Most men don’t see it coming—until their marriage is on life support.

One day she’s your best friend and lover… the next, she’s distant, irritable, and completely checked out. You think you did something wrong. You didn’t.

In this video, I break down the biological and psychological changes that happen during menopause—how they affect your wife, your relationship, and what you can do about it. This is a wake-up call for every man who wants to stay married in midlife.

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This one’s brutal. A 36-year-old man marries a 49-year-old woman who insisted they wait until marriage for sex. Two years in, he’s still never touched her. No sex. No intimacy. Nothing.

He’s confused, frustrated, and finally waking up after reading The Dead Bedroom Fix.

This is a classic case of mismatched libidos, avoidant behavior, and religious guilt. If you’re in a sexless relationship and wondering, "Is this normal?"—watch this.

✉️ Got a story to share? Submit it at https://deardso.com
🧠 Want help from guys who’ve been there? Join the Brotherhood: https://helpformen.com/join

Mr. K wrote in with a story that’s, sadly, all too familiar. He blames himself for a relationship that was dysfunctional from day one. She showed no attraction. She weaponized sex. She even stopped showering to repel him — and kept a log of when he initiated.

He thinks he’s the problem.

But here’s the truth: Some relationships are doomed from the beginning. And some men — especially anxious or neurodivergent men — miss every red flag because they’re too busy blaming themselves.

In this Dear DSO episode, I walk through Mr. K’s situation and what it reveals about codependence, attraction, and the importance of walking away when a woman shows you who she is. If you’ve ever wondered, “What did I do wrong?”… this one’s for you.

⚠️ Want to submit your own story? Go to https://deardso.com
🎙 Want real support from real men? Join us: https://helpformen.com/join