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Dated a Narcissist… Then an Avoidant? Here's What Your Pattern REALLY Means
Start a 7-Day Free Trial to the All-Access Pass and Receive the Core Wound Healing Course Bundle ($250 Value) Free to Keep for Life.
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/core-wound-bundle?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=core-wound-bundle&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-03-09-26&el=podcast
Have you ever left a relationship with someone highly narcissistic, only to find yourself dating a Dismissive Avoidant next?
It’s confusing. It’s painful. And it can feel like you’re repeating the same pattern in a slightly different form.
Episode Summary
In this episode, Thais Gibson breaks down the subconscious reasons this happens and what you need to shift internally to stop the cycle for good. Your conscious mind may want an emotionally available, healthy partner but your subconscious mind drives 95%+ of your patterns.
If you grew up internalizing criticism, over-functioning emotionally, or abandoning yourself to please others, those patterns can make narcissistic or Avoidant dynamics feel subconsciously familiar even when they hurt.
After leaving a narcissist, your nervous system may swing to what feels like the “opposite”, someone calmer, less intense, more predictable. But if you haven’t yet learned to:
•Set boundaries
•Honor your own needs
•Receive empathy
•Become emotionally available to yourself
…you may still unconsciously choose unavailable partners.
Real change happens when you stop over-functioning for others and start becoming available to yourself first.
Key Takeaways
✔️Why your subconscious comfort zone overrides conscious desire
✔️How self-criticism makes narcissistic dynamics feel familiar
✔️ The pattern of manipulating yourself to please others
✔️Why you attract unavailable partners until you’re available to yourself
✔️How emotional over-functioning sabotages intimacy
✔️The difference between emotional intensity and emotional availability
✔️What true healing requires to break the cycle
Timestamps
00:00 – When You Go From Dating A Narcissist to An Avoidant
00:52 – The Conscious vs Subconscious Mind
02:47 – 1. You Are Self-Critical
03:36 – 2. Sometimes You Manipulate Yourself to Please Others
06:19 – 3. You Will End Up With Unavailable People Until You Become Available to Yourself
06:39 – Attachment Styles and Sex Course Promo
06:59 – 4. You Are a Chronic Emotional Over-Functioner
Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
View all episodes
By Thais Gibson
4.7
291291 ratings
Start a 7-Day Free Trial to the All-Access Pass and Receive the Core Wound Healing Course Bundle ($250 Value) Free to Keep for Life.
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/core-wound-bundle?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=core-wound-bundle&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-03-09-26&el=podcast
Have you ever left a relationship with someone highly narcissistic, only to find yourself dating a Dismissive Avoidant next?
It’s confusing. It’s painful. And it can feel like you’re repeating the same pattern in a slightly different form.
Episode Summary
In this episode, Thais Gibson breaks down the subconscious reasons this happens and what you need to shift internally to stop the cycle for good. Your conscious mind may want an emotionally available, healthy partner but your subconscious mind drives 95%+ of your patterns.
If you grew up internalizing criticism, over-functioning emotionally, or abandoning yourself to please others, those patterns can make narcissistic or Avoidant dynamics feel subconsciously familiar even when they hurt.
After leaving a narcissist, your nervous system may swing to what feels like the “opposite”, someone calmer, less intense, more predictable. But if you haven’t yet learned to:
•Set boundaries
•Honor your own needs
•Receive empathy
•Become emotionally available to yourself
…you may still unconsciously choose unavailable partners.
Real change happens when you stop over-functioning for others and start becoming available to yourself first.
Key Takeaways
✔️Why your subconscious comfort zone overrides conscious desire
✔️How self-criticism makes narcissistic dynamics feel familiar
✔️ The pattern of manipulating yourself to please others
✔️Why you attract unavailable partners until you’re available to yourself
✔️How emotional over-functioning sabotages intimacy
✔️The difference between emotional intensity and emotional availability
✔️What true healing requires to break the cycle
Timestamps
00:00 – When You Go From Dating A Narcissist to An Avoidant
00:52 – The Conscious vs Subconscious Mind
02:47 – 1. You Are Self-Critical
03:36 – 2. Sometimes You Manipulate Yourself to Please Others
06:19 – 3. You Will End Up With Unavailable People Until You Become Available to Yourself
06:39 – Attachment Styles and Sex Course Promo
06:59 – 4. You Are a Chronic Emotional Over-Functioner
Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.
Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
📚 Read the Learning Love Book
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast
🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes
https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1
📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/
Let’s Connect on Socials:
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
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