LessWrong posts by zvi

“Dating Roundup #5: Opening Day” by Zvi


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Previously: #1, #2, #3, #4.

Since we all know that dating apps are terrible, the wise person seeks to meet prospective dates in other ways, ideally in the physical world.

Alas, this has gotten more difficult. Dating apps and shifting norms mean it is considered less appropriate, and riskier, to approach strangers, especially with romantic intent, or to even ask people you know out on a date, which has a fat tail of life changing positive consequences.

People especially men are increasingly more afraid of rejection and other negative consequences, including a potential long tail of large negative consequences. Also people's skills at doing this aren’t developing, which both decreases chances of success and increases risk. So a lot of this edition is about tackling those basic questions, especially risk, rejection and fear.

There's also the question of how to be more hot and know [...]

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Outline:

(01:20) You're Single Because Hello Human Resources

(03:02) You're Single Because You Don't Meet Anyone's Standards

(04:23) You're Single Because You Don't Know How to Open

(10:46) You're Single Because You Never Open

(15:15) You're Single Because You Don't Know How to Flirt

(21:03) You're Single Because You Won't Wear the Fucking Hat

(23:40) You're Single Because You Don't Focus On The People You Want

(29:10) You're Single Because You Choose the Wrong Hobbies

(32:54) You're Single Because You Friend Zone People

(33:44) You're Single Because You Won't Go the Extra Mile

(35:54) You're Single Because You're Overly Afraid of Highly Unlikely Consequences

(39:01) You're Single Because You're Too Afraid of Rejection

(45:49) You're Single Because You're Paralyzed by Fear

(46:37) You're Single Cause You're Not Hot Enough

(48:00) You're Single Because You Can't Tell How Hot You Look

(50:57) You're Single Because You Have the Wrong Hairstyle

(51:42) You're Single Because You're In the Wrong Place

(52:47) You're Single Because You Didn't Hire a Matchmaker

(54:13) You're Single So Here's the Lighter Side

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First published:

May 27th, 2025

Source:

https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/gosGW6oBf3fzDHPbd/dating-roundup-5-opening-day

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Narrated by TYPE III AUDIO.

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